Chapter 2
2
G ood morning, gorgeous.
Alex felt Leslie’s words, spoken in a voice rough with sleep, throughout his body.
He shoved away the inner voice that had been castigating him for touching her, for even allowing himself near her, with practiced ease. But he knew it would surface again, just waiting for another opportunity to remind him of what he already knew to be true: he played at being a protector but inside, he was a killer.
He focused on Leslie. “Good morning, Sunshine,” he responded wryly. “Mind telling me why I’m waking up to you in my bed?”
Her eyes rounded. “You mean you don’t remember the ten orgasms you gave me?”
“Leslie…” he warned.
She sat up then froze when the motion made him close his eyes and groan in pain. “Sorry, Alex,” she said softly. “You know I was just teasing. Nothing happened. You okay?”
He rubbed his back where his kidney had been punched. “My kidney wants to finish what that asshole tried to do to me last night, my ribs hurt, and I have one hell of a hangover. Other than that, I’m fine. You didn’t answer my question.”
With a tender touch, Leslie pushed back a lock of his hair that had fallen into his eyes. “I came over last night after I heard you were in the hospital.”
“And then I passed out. Why did you stay?”
“I wanted to be here when you woke up. Make sure you were okay.”
“You couldn’t have stayed on the couch?” As if he’d ever , in any lifetime, let her sleep on the couch while he took a bed.
She bit her lip. “I could have.”
They stared at one another for a tense moment before she sighed. “Nothing happened, Alex. You promised me you wouldn’t touch me last night, remember?”
“I do.”
But I didn’t promise not to touch you today.
The traitorous thought caused Alex to clench his hands into fists.
Don’t do it, Alex.
Think of what you’ve done.
Hell, if it helps, think about Branden.
Second only to Lee, Alex’s brother, Branden Duke had been Alex’s best friend since they were in college. Branden was a Wall Street mogul, a billionaire, and Alex’s biggest client. Protecting the prominent Duke family was something Alex took more seriously than anything else. He was unfailingly loyal to Branden and he to Alex. There was a time Branden had pushed Alex to act on his feelings for Leslie, but that was before he’d called Alex’s fears about endangering Leslie bullshit, and Alex shared with Branden how dark and dirty he liked sex.
Softly, precisely, he said, “Is it bullshit that I need to dominate when I fuck, Branden? Is it bullshit that I use nipple clamps? Use my teeth? Drip hot wax on them? Fuck hard and hot and heavy and take it all in return?...Do you think Leslie wants to fuck that way? Because I like to take it just as brutally as I give it. I like a woman who will go wild. So. Fucking. Wild. I want a woman who will get fucking feral. Bite me. Shred my back with her nails. Hurt me. Because sometimes, that’s what I need, Branden… She’d look so damn sweet, crawling to me. Begging me to take her up against the wall. And then we’d switch things up. I’d have her tie me up. Lash me with a fucking cat-o-nine tails…
Needless to say, Branden hadn’t been quite as vocal about encouraging Alex to be with his sister after that.
No, Alex and Leslie were never going to be anything more than friends but that didn’t mean he didn’t ache for her in a way that put his broken rib and bruised kidney to shame.
“Thanks for looking after me, Leslie. You’re a good friend.”
He used the word deliberately and knew his message hit home when hurt flashed in her eyes.
The hurt was the same hurt he’d see when he’d turned down her friends-with-benefits-offer, though it didn’t come close to the hurt he’d inflicted on her when he’d publicly rejected her at Branden’s engagement party. That was something they’d worked hard to overcome, and thankfully, Leslie had given him a second chance to salvage their friendship.
She shifted, drawing away from him and sitting up. The hurt in her expression had disappeared so quickly that for a moment he questioned whether he’d really seen it.
“Ready for breakfast?” she asked. “I’ll dig through your fridge and make you something. Unless your fridge is empty. Then we can always order DoorDash.”
He sat up, too, then groaned with the sharp pain the movement caused.
Leslie hovered over him. “I hate seeing you this way.”
He smiled tightly. “I’ve suffered worse on the regular. Let’s not focus on it. Does your family know where you are?”
She snorted. “I’m sure my bodyguard, the bodyguard my brother hired through your security company, has already informed Branden and is even now waiting outside.”
“He’s outside, yes, or he’s out of a job, but your bodyguards don’t report your comings and goings, you know that. They only impart information to me, my team, or Branden when they determine your safety is at risk.”
“That’s what I was always told, but I never knew if it was really true.”
“It’s true,” he said firmly.
She shrugged. “Okay, good. At least we won’t have to deal with awkward questions about why I spent the night. But I already texted Branden and the gang that I was fine late last night, so no worries about jeopardizing your friendship with my brother.”
She said that last part with a trace of bitterness.
“Leslie, your brother isn’t the reason we can’t be together.”
“Isn’t he, Alex? At least part of the reason?” Her eyes sparked with challenge and he had to admit, she wasn’t completely wrong. In being mindful of what was best for Leslie, he was also fulfilling his loyalty to Branden.
Before he could tell her yet again that being friends with him was risky enough given the number of enemies he had, Leslie waved her hand. “Never mind. Not going there again. I know where we stand. I will always be your friend, yes, but even more so, I will always be your best friend’s little sister.
Alex sighed but didn’t say anything. He finally got out of bed and stood, thankful that he was steady on his feet. Together, clothes wrinkled, they headed out the bedroom door.
You’re doing great, Leslie. You’re holding yourself together. Not throwing yourself at him. Not trying to convince him to give the two of you a shot.
Leslie was resolved to maintain her friendly distance through breakfast then get the heck out of there.
Spending the night hadn’t been smart. Even so, she didn’t regret it.
She’d spent most of the time watching him, yearning for him before exhaustion had finally taken over and she’d joined him in sleep. When she’d woken, she didn’t want him any less but something had shifted inside her. She’d said the words before—that she accepted they were just going to be friends—but this time it had felt true.
Then he’d called her his friend just now and pain had ripped through her.
All she could do was keep moving forward but the smart thing would be to limit her time with Alex again. That normally wasn’t hard, but they were still training for the Mud Run together. Once that was done, she’d maintain just a little more distance from him, nothing that would suggest they weren’t friends anymore, but enough that she might finally be able to get over him.
As Alex and Leslie stepped into Alex's meticulously designed kitchen, the smooth granite countertops and sleek, stainless-steel appliances exuded a sense of modern sophistication. Leslie headed to Alex’s fridge. “Okay if I take a look?”
“You never have to ask, Leslie. Make yourself at home.”
“Thank you.” She opened the gleaming doors, discovering a well-stocked array of health-conscious foods, their neatly arranged containers highlighting Alex's commitment to a disciplined lifestyle. A teasing smile tugged at the corners of her lips even as she admired the neatly stacked containers of quinoa, kale, and chia seeds. "Impressive, Alex. Looks like you've got enough vitamins to last a lifetime," she said, her voice laced with playful affection.
Her gaze then shifted to a hidden corner of the fridge, where a small jar of rich, chocolate hazelnut spread lingered, a guilty pleasure amidst the sea of nutritional choices. With a raised eyebrow and a conspiratorial grin, Leslie pointed at the jar. "Ah, there it is! The secret stash. You might deprive yourself of some pleasures, but I knew you couldn't completely resist the siren call of decadence."
His expression stiffened and her words hung in the air, charged with a mixture of amusement and desire as the unspoken tension between them crackled.
She hadn’t meant that as a dig. Hadn’t meant to imply she was obviously one decadence he was resisting.
Thankfully, Alex just said, "How about we make my famous banana pecan pancakes? They're a perfect blend of indulgence and nutrition."
She took a breath and nodded. “Sounds yummy.” She closed the door only for a piece of paper that had been attached with a magnet to fall to the ground. Leslie picked it up, glancing at it. It was a cashier’s check made out to Father Davide Alessio for high five figures. In the memo line, it said, Futuri Speranzosi . Leslie blinked at the check, wondering what it was for, but then quickly stuck it back on the fridge. It wasn’t her business.
When she turned, however, it was to see Alex frowning at the check before looking at her.
“Sorry,” she said, though she wasn’t sure what she was apologizing for, knocking the check to the ground or reading it. Probably both.
“It’s not a problem,” he said. “Want to grab the bananas?”
She headed to the fruit bowl on the counter where a cluster of ripe bananas awaited their fate. When she handed them to Alex, their hands brushed briefly, and Leslie trembled.
Alex seemed unaffected as he expertly peeled and sliced the bananas; even that action highlighted his muscular forearms, biceps and shoulders. He hesitated, then said, “The check is a donation. I make one every year to an organization that helps women and children around the world who find themselves in unfortunate circumstances. Hopeful Futures is run by an Italian priest I met in Afghanistan of all places and we keep in touch.”
Even as he spoke, Leslie could tell that Alex did so reluctantly. That he was trying to be matter of fact about telling her when he didn’t want to tell her at all. Probably because he was embarrassed. He felt he needed to explain the check, but at the same time didn’t want to brag that he was donating such a huge amount of money to help those less fortunate.
His generous heart didn’t surprise Leslie one bit.
The possibility that he might be embarrassed was the only reason she simply replied, “That’s great, Alex,” when what she really wanted to do was ask him questions about how he’d specifically met Father Alessio. But as much as Alex didn’t want to discuss the check, he really didn’t want to discuss his time in the military. Anytime Leslie had tried, he’d shut it down.
They worked side by side and soon the aroma of warm, toasty pecans filled the air, blending harmoniously with the sweet scent of ripened bananas. “This looks amazing,” she said as the first batch of golden pancakes were plated. Alex garnished them with a sprinkling of toasted pecans.
“In all the years I’ve known you, I’ve never witnessed your domestic side, Alex.”
He chuckled. “Don’t get too excited. This is about the extent of my cooking skills. I’m a basic kind of guy.”
“I don’t believe that for a moment,” she said.
At her words, their gazes met again, the unspoken attraction swirling between them. Their chemistry was undeniable, the energy pulsating in the kitchen.
“We should eat and you should get going,” Alex said abruptly though not unkindly. “I’m sure you have a lot on your plate.”
And that’s why I can’t get close to him. Because he always, always pulls back . “I do,” she said quietly.
They ate their breakfast and did the dishes, then Leslie did her best to clean herself up, using one of Alex’s dark washcloths to remove the smudged makeup left over from the night before and using a new toothbrush still in its package. When she headed back into the living area, Alex was leaning against the wall near the front door. He straightened when he saw her, and she grabbed her purse.
“Thanks again for checking on me, Sunshine,” Alex said. “I’ll drive you back to your place.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“No. But I will,” he insisted.
There was no point in fighting even if it did mean more time with him, thus further testing her resolve. “Okay, thanks.”
The ride to her brownstone was relatively quiet, the air filled with tension even as they made small talk. When he got to her place, he opened his car door only for her to place her hand on his arm.
“Alex.”
He turned. “Yes?”
She licked her lips. Fine. They were going to be just friends. But there was some part of her, the part that would probably never stop yearning for Alex, that needed to know she was more …that whether they acted on their attraction or not, she was still special to him.
“Remember what you said that one time, back when you and my brother were still in college and I’d just entered eighth grade, and that girl I thought was my best friend stole my boyfriend?”
Alex frowned. “No. Sorry, I don’t recall. What did I say?”
“You said that a friendship built on a sandcastle is nothing but that—sand and the water holding it together. A sandcastle friendship is easy to destroy with water, force, or even air. It easily slips through your fingers.”
“I sound profound.”
She laughed. “You were. You also told me that friendships built on rocks, like your friendship with Branden, were the only ones truly worth fighting for.” She hesitated then said, “Do you think our friendship is built on rocks?”
His stared at her for a moment, his gaze searching then suddenly burning. Reaching out, he cupped her chin in his palm, causing her to gasp. “Leslie, this is something I want you to always remember. My refusal to deepen our relationship has nothing to do with how much I care for you. If a solid friendship is built on rocks, then our friendship is like the roots of an ancient oak tree, delving deep into the earth, anchoring us together through every storm that comes our way. It's like the endless ocean, stretching beyond the horizon, boundless and constant. And it's like the stars above us, guiding me through the darkness, reminding me that you are always there, even when we're apart. Leslie, you are my rock, my oak tree, my ocean, and my guiding star. I would do anything to protect you, even if it means stepping aside and watching you flourish in a life that I only have limited access to. Even if it means part of me dies. Because in my mind, baby, they’re the exact same thing.”