Chapter 24
24
A subtle shift in the atmosphere jerked Alex out of his slumber. His instincts honed from years in dangerous situations, he was instantly awake. The room was dim, the only illumination coming from the slivers of moonlight piercing through the gaps in the curtains. In the silence, he heard the soft, measured breathing of Leslie beside him. Her breathing was different from sleep, shallow and irregular, and he knew she was awake too.
He lay still, waiting, his body taut. He felt a light touch, her fingers tracing the tattoos on his back. Her touch sent a jolt of electricity coursing through him, each point of contact sparking a flame that only seemed to grow.
Gradually, he turned to face her. Their eyes locked in the shadowy half-light and he saw the desire in her eyes, but it was overshadowed by uncertainty and fear.
Had she had another nightmare?
Unable to stop himself, he leaned in, his lips barely brushing hers in a whisper-soft kiss.
When she moaned and opened her mouth, he deepened the kiss, the taste of her lips an intoxicating elixir that both soothed his own turmoil and amplified it, a heady mix of guilt and longing.
Alex liked the trust in Leslie's sleepy gaze when he pulled away from their kiss. He wanted to be the safe place she could always fall. The strong arms that she could always run to.
Alex reached out and cupped Leslie's cheek. She leaned into his touch, and he wanted more of that.
Him touching. Her accepting.
Her yearning.
He ran his hand down her slender arm and she caught her breath. His caress continued, moving to the gentle curve of Leslie's hip, then her upper thigh, warm from the hours beneath the sheets. Her nightdress had ridden up and when he slipped his hand around her, it was to feel her bare ass. Alex bit back a groan at the image of fucking her from behind, her ass slapping back against his groin.
Leslie was so still as he briefly closed his eyes. It was obvious to him that she would give him whatever he wanted. That was what the trust in her gaze told him. And he wanted it. All of it. Everything she wanted and more. To play rough with her. To introduce her to everything she'd mentioned interest in at the sex club. To push her in a way he was coming to see more and more that she had the strength to be pushed. He might frighten her, but instinctively he knew that she wanted to face that fear and overcome it. A part of her soul sought out that darkness, that cliff's edge because of the very fact that she wanted to leap into it.
She just needed the lifeline that his arms would represent.
"Your breathing sounds funny," Leslie whispered.
"Does it?" he asked.
“Yes.”
“Your breathing sounds funny, too,” he said.
She smiled. “Of course it does. I want you, Alex. I want you so much.”
“Leslie—”
“When you texted me that you were coming to my house, you’d made up your mind about my offer, hadn’t you?”
He should back off. Lift his hands from her. Instead, his caresses grew firmer.
“Yes,” he said.
She nodded. “What was your decision.”
“Honestly? It was no.”
Disappointment filled her expression but not surprise. “I figured.” When she tried to pull away, Alex tightened his grip on her.
He took in a shaky breath.
He knew he was vulnerable. Lying in bed like this with her, his protective instincts the highest they’d ever been, he knew he wasn’t thinking clearly.
But he also knew that if he didn’t kiss her again, if he didn’t touch her, breathe her in, consume her, a part of him would die and never be resurrected.
He pushed back the hair from her face. “I’ve changed my mind.”
Eyes wide, Leslie sucked in a breath. “You have?”
He nodded. “I want the month you offered. Or at the very least, I want whatever time we have here together until we get you safely back home.”
She considered this. Then teased, “So you’ll not only protect me until I’m safe, but you’ll also fuck me until I’m satisfied?”
God, he wanted to swallow her whole right now. Wanted to kiss her smiling face until she was gasping for breath and begging for mercy. “If that’s what you want, yes.”
Her eyes flared, and he knew she was imagining it. At the same time, she assessed him. Then she swallowed hard and said, “You’re always so honest with me, Alex. Before we continue—and we will continue—I need to be honest with you.”
“What about?”
“Not only have I never been heavily into kink before, but well…I’m a virgin, Alex.”
What the fuck?
Shock reverberated through him and he almost pulled away, but as if expecting this, Leslie clutched him closer.
“I’ve fooled around plenty—”
“You’re a virgin and I took you to a goddamn sex club—”
“I’m not an innocent, Alex.”
“You are the very definition of innocent, Leslie,” he shot back.
“You know that’s not true. Just because I’ve never actually had a man’s cock inside my vagina does not mean I’m innocent.”
Fuck, fuck, he thought. He sat up, finally lifting his hands from her body— about fucking time, Alex —and raking his palms over his face.
Leslie sat up, as well.
He looked at her. “You have to know this changes things.”
“Does it, Alex? Why?”
“Because—because…”
She cocked a brow at him. “What does it matter? We’ll be over in a month. In less than a month. When we’re over, I’ll be a little more knowledgeable and experienced about what I want. And you, Alex, can move on, knowing you gave me something special, maybe even something that will make me more confident about finding the man I’m truly meant to be with.”
The man— the dom —she was truly meant to be with, she meant.
The very idea made him recoil.
He wanted her. He’d always wanted her.
And the knowledge that he could be her first…
Fate was a motherfucking bitch.
But then he knew that already.
Leslie sighed and moved as if to lie down again. “Good night, Alex.”
He let her lie down.
Waited several beats.
The struggle inside him was huge, but in the end, it was easily won.
Slowly, he laid down.
She was stiff next to him, but when he put his hand on her hip, her gaze darted to his. He saw the hope in them.
“If we do this, you have to know I can’t give you more than what we’d have here, Leslie. I need to know you can accept that.”
“I can, Alex. I swear. If we do this, I’ll do it with my eyes wide open. I know you feel you can’t have me, and I’ll respect that. But I know now that you really do want me, and I want you, so please, let us have what we both want.”
He sucked in air through his nose before slowly releasing it. He imagined all the possibilities. What they could have together, even only temporarily.
How maybe memories of this place, these people, the things he remembered with only regret and grief, could be replaced with memories of beauty.
Memories of the time Leslie was his.
“Alright. We’ll take what we want while we’re here. But on one condition. I won’t fuck you. I won’t take your virginity.
“Alex—”
“That’s my condition.”
She scowled. “Fine.”
He couldn’t help it. He laughed.
“What’s so funny,” she asked nastily.
“This. Us.” He shook his head. “I won’t take your virginity, Leslie. But other than that, all bets are off. I will show you what your body is capable of. What we’re capable of together. Just be sure.”
“I’m sure, Alex.”
“Then it’s done. Now,” he reached out, cupped her face, and caressed her cheek with his thumb. “Can I touch you?”
Her laughter was sweet as she said, "You're already touching me."
He didn't need reminding of the heat of his skin beneath his palm. "This isn't touching you.”
She was very silent then. It didn’t matter. Her sheer presence was loud. Big. With her lying beside him, it was so easy to imagine she was his entire world.
"Touch me then," Leslie whispered.
Her command sent a jolt to his cock.
Alex lowered his hand from Leslie's cheek and slipped it beneath her night dress. He ran his fingers over the bare skin of her waxed pussy. “It was daring of you, not wearing your underwear. Were you planning something, minx?”
“Not planning, but ever hopeful.”
He chuckled, then cupped her pussy. Leslie shuddered. It aroused him beyond belief that she was so responsive to him.
When Alex found Leslie already wet for him, he sank his teeth into his bottom lip.
Alex teased her a little, keeping his touch as light as a feather along her folds, around the entrance to her pussy.
When Alex pushed a finger deep inside of Leslie, she gave a muffled moan.
He could stay here for hours, feeling her shuddering around him. Her muscles contracting and loosening, urging him to move. She felt incredible, so tight, so wet. He added another finger and almost lost control when Leslie murmured his name.
Alex took his time as he fucked Leslie with his fingers. The morning could come, nightfall could descend once again, and he could still be there, moving his fingers slowly in and out of her. He wanted to bring her gently to the edge. He wanted to show her he could be soft with her, delicate and patient. And he wanted to prove to himself that he could maintain that kind of control with her.
Because while he knew that he was getting Leslie closer to orgasm, he himself was getting closer, too. Looking at the pleasure drugging her expression made him crazy with lust, so he closed his eyes, hoping it would calm his body. But even that did little as far as regaining his control because he felt her, heard her, smelled her.
The sound of Leslie's increasingly paced whimpers and the scratch of her nails against the sheets while he couldn't see her was so intense. With his eyes closed, he imagined her completely unrestrained. This was for her. She didn't have to look for his reaction, judge her performance. All she had to do was feel his touch.
Alex kept going, giving her a slight curl of his fingers each time he pressed fully into her. The muscles of his arm quivered not from the strain, but from the exertion of his self-control. Each time he felt her pussy clenching around his fingers, his animal instinct to pull her to his cock and thrust violently into her nearly took over. It was a constant struggle to restrain himself and continue to give himself sweetly to Leslie.
But she rewarded him a million times over for his effort. With her soft pants. With her gasping whispers of, “Yes, yes, yes.” With the smell of her sweat and wetness rising to his flared nostrils.
Alex soon became aware of Leslie's silence. He hadn't noticed it at first, so taken with the pulsing of her inner muscles against his fingers, with his own strangled breathing. But it became all he could think of with his eyes closed. The intensity of her silence. It seemed to stretch on forever. Leslie not making a single noise. The wet sound of his fingers driving in and out of her getting louder and louder.
“Alex, please, look at me. Please!”
At her words, Alex opened his eyes. She was flushed. She was gorgeous. And she was coming for him. “That’s it, baby girl. Take what I’m giving you. With just my fucking fingers in your pussy, Leslie, you’re going to come so hard.”
She cried out suddenly and grabbed for him as her orgasm wracked her small body. He drew her near, petting her hair through it, whispering calmly in her ear, "Good girl, good girl." It was incredible for him, how little they’d done yet how explosive her response was.
It made him eager for what was to come.
He wanted to sink his teeth into her still trembling shoulder, lap at her dripping wet pussy, rub himself against her naked body with abandon. He wanted to be an animal with her.
But for now he allowed himself only to pet her pussy, easing her down while she moaned sweetly. Finally, she relaxed and sank completely into him. As she watched, he removed his hand from between her thighs and sucked on his fingers.
“Delicious,” he growled.
Leslie nestled in closer to him. It was almost as if she were trying to hide from him. Something he wouldn’t allow.
Alex loved the way she looked after coming, her cheeks flushed, hair a little messy, eyes slightly sleepy. How would she look if he brought her to orgasm with a feather? With a whip? With nipple clamps and ice cubes?
Innocently, Leslie asked, "Have you ever had an orgasm thinking about me?"
Her eyes searched his as she waited for his response. Leslie was always surprising Alex. Any time he thought he'd pegged her, she said something unexpected or gave him a look that threw him. As he gazed down at her, he saw that while she'd asked meekly, she already knew the answer.
She just wanted to hear him say it.
"What do you think?"
Alex's body gave a little involuntary jolt when Leslie's hand brushed his cockhead through his sweat. She grinned as she wrapped her fingers around his throbbing shaft.
"I think that's not an answer," she said. "And you know it."
Alex laughed and guided Leslie's face back toward his chest as she stroked him. He breathed in the scent of her shampoo and then groaned into her hair. He rubbed his cheek against the silky top of her head. Leslie's exhales condensed on the bare skin of his chest which rose and fell with increased speed.
Her small fingers felt amazing on him. And she had an instinct for how fast to move over him, when to twist her fist over his head, how hard to squeeze at the base where his balls were already drawing in tight. But he didn’t want to come. This had been for her. To take the edge off a bit. To prime her, just slightly, for what was to come.
Gently, he squeezed her hand then urged it away from him.
“Just enjoy what we did, Leslie. And I’ll enjoy the knowledge that I pleasured you and the anticipation of what’s going to come next. As will you, I hope.”
She closed her eyes and sighed, a smile on her face. “I already am, Alex. I already am.”
He engulfed her in his arms, and he and Leslie seemed to sink deeper into the crisp sheets. He liked knowing that she was satiated and safe in his arms.
Kissing the top of her head, he said, "The answer is I've orgasmed thinking of you more times than I can count."
When he felt Leslie smiling against his chest, Alex smiled too.