Chapter 11 #2
I found the stick—my stick, the one I had used as a goalie coach, the one that was marked up from a thousand corrections and a thousand moments of instruction—and I went onto the ice and I did not turn the lights on bright, just let them stay at the low setting where you could see the ice but not much else.
The darkness was something I understood.
The darkness was safe. The darkness was a place where you could move without being watched, could make mistakes without anyone seeing them.
The ice was quiet. The ice was the place where I had learned, a long time ago, what it meant to work. What it meant to stand in the crease and take a pounding and keep your positioning and protect what was yours to protect.
I started to move.
Stick-handling drills. First slow, moving the puck with precision, making sure every touch was clean.
Then fast, building speed, using the stick like it was part of my body.
Then precision work—weaving the puck through cones that were not there but that I had memorized from two weeks ago, from the last time I had been here alone and awake at this hour.
The puck moved. My stick moved. My feet moved.
The ice responded to my edges the way it always had, the way it always would.
This was the thing that had always made sense.
The ice. The puck. The particular physics of motion and control and the fine line between gliding and falling.
Everything else—Maple, the foreclosure I knew about and she did not, the team, the town, the future—everything else was noise.
The ice was quiet. The ice was honest. The ice did not lie. On the ice, if you moved, the ice told you the truth about it. If you were off your edges, the ice punished you. If you were balanced, the ice held you up. If you were committed to a direction, the ice took you there.
I worked for forty-two minutes. The puck moved smoothly.
My technique was clean. The muscle memory was perfect—my body still knew how to do this even though my mind had moved on to other things.
My mind was with Maple. My mind was in Maddox’s office.
My mind was measuring the days until she found out and my own life split in two: the part before she knew, and the part after.
At 11:34 p.m., Maddox came out of the office and down to the ice.
Maddox was wearing a sweatshirt and jeans.
I had clearly been in the office doing work, dealing with the business of owning a team, making decisions about money and people and the future.
I sat on the bench without taking skates, just sat there in my street shoes and my winter coat and I watched me move.
I sat with my hands folded. I sat the way a man sat who was comfortable waiting.
The ice squeaked under my skates. The sound was clean. The sound was the sound of something working right.
At 11:44 p.m., Maddox said, “She doesn’t know.”
I kept moving. I executed a cross-ice pass to the imaginary player in the imaginary position. I recovered the puck. I started again.
Maddox said, “The letter hit her account four days ago. She’s probably seen it by now, or she’ll see it this week.
She’s going to wonder who AFC Holdings is.
She’s probably already called the bank or her lawyer.
She’s going to ask questions and someone is going to tell her the truth eventually and when they do, she’s going to figure out it’s me.
And when she figures out it’s me, she’s going to figure out it’s you. ”
I executed a stop turn. The ice sprayed.
The water turned to mist in the cold air.
The mist rose like it was proof that I was really here, that I was really doing this, that I was really moving through space.
The mist caught the light from the low-set rink lights and turned into something that looked almost alive, something that was temporary and real and then gone.
Maddox said, “When she finds out it’s me, she’s going to think you asked me to do this.
Two and two. Small town. A man who just arrived, a man who is suddenly attentive, a man who cares about the diner’s survival, and a businessman who makes things happen.
She’s going to think you went to me and asked me to help her.
And she’s probably going to be right to think that. ”
I said, “Did she.”
“No. But she’ll think you did. And maybe that will be enough to forgive the keeping of the secret. Maybe it won’t. Maybe she’ll just feel like you went behind her back and made decisions for her without her consent, and maybe that will be the thing that ends what you two are building.”
I stopped moving. I stood at center ice, still holding the stick, not moving, just standing in the center of the ice and understanding that Maddox was right.
That the moment was coming faster than I had thought it would come.
That the 60-day window was not just a timeline for the mortgage, it was a timeline for the truth.
It was a countdown. It was a bomb with a fuse and the fuse was burning.
I said, “When.”
Maddox said, “I don’t know. Soon. A week.
Two weeks. The bank will eventually call her to confirm the details of the new loan.
She’ll start asking questions. She’ll be smart about it.
She’ll piece it together. You don’t have much time to get ahead of this.
You don’t have much time to control how she finds out. ”
I said, “I know.”
Maddox said, “So tell her.”