Chapter Twelve
Leila
I stand outside the locker room for a full minute before I convince myself to actually go through with this. My hands are shaking, and I don’t know if it’s from anger or nerves or the fact I haven’t slept for more than a few hours a night since Saturday night.
It’s been four days of hiding out at Abigail’s aunt’s place, ignoring their texts and pretending like my entire world didn’t implode in front of a packed arena.
Four days replaying the moment over and over again, when Knox body checked my brother into the glass without his helmet and I realized exactly who the three masked strangers I’d been texting, and fucking, were.
Jagger, Knox, and Riven.
My brothers’ rivals.
I push through the door before I can talk myself out of it. The locker room smells of sweat and hockey gear. Several players are still getting dressed, and they freeze when they see me.
“Boys,” I yell, “if you have your cocks out, I suggest you put them away.”
There’s a scramble of movement as guys grab for towels and turn away. I hear someone swear under their breath.
“Where are they?” I demand, scanning the room.
Tyler, the forward who questioned me during my first lesson, points toward the back corner where three lockers sit empty next to each other. “They’re, uh, still in the showers.”
I march past the other players, ignoring their stares and whispers. The shower area is separated by a half wall, where I can hear their voices.
“She changed our names in the group chat,” Jagger is saying. “To asshole one, two, and three.”
“At least we know she’s reading the messages,” Knox replies with a sigh.
“Reading them and ignoring them,” Riven points out.
I round the corner and see all three of them there, water rolling down their bodies. Knox has his back to me, Jagger is running his hands through his wet hair, and Riven is standing under the spray with his eyes closed.
They’re all naked. My brain short-circuits for about half a second before anger takes over.
“Get dressed,” I snap. “Now.”
All three of them spin around, and the looks on their faces would be funny if I weren’t so fucking livid. Jagger’s eyes go wide. Knox’s mouth falls open, while Riven just stares at me like he cannot believe it’s really me.
“Leila,” Knox says, but I hold up my hand.
“I said, get dressed. I’m not having this conversation while you’re all standing there with your dicks out.”
They move fast, shutting off the water, then grabbing towels and wrapping them around their waists. Water drips down their chests, and I force myself to focus on their faces instead of their bodies, even though my brain keeps reminding me exactly what those bodies feel like.
“How did you get in here?” Riven asks.
“I walked through the door. It’s not exactly rocket science.” I cross my arms over my chest, suddenly aware that I’m wearing the same clothes I changed into four days ago—oversized sweats and one of Abigail’s hoodies. My hair is in a messy bun, and I probably look like a raccoon.
“We’ve been trying to text you,” Jagger says, taking a step toward me.
“I know, I got your messages. All three hundred of them.”
“Then why didn’t you answer?” Knox asks, though I really think he knows the answer already.
“Because I needed time to think!” The words explode out of me.
“Because I needed to process the fact that the three guys I’ve been”—I wave my hand in the air, searching for the right words—“whatever the hell we’ve been doing, are the same three guys who play for my brothers’ rival team.
The same guys I see on campus who have been lying to me for weeks! ”
“We weren’t lying,” Riven says quietly.
“Bullshit!” I snap. “You let me think you were someone else, but you knew exactly who I was the entire time. That’s lying by omission, which is still lying!”
“We were going to tell you,” Knox insists. “After the game, we were going to tell you everything.”
“Oh, well, that makes it so much better!” I throw my hands up in the air. “You were going to tell me after you what, won the game? Or after you got into a fight with Levi and then, oh yeah, body checked him into the fucking glass without his helmet?”
Knox’s jaw clenches. “What he said was out of line.”
“He’s my brother!”
“And he was screaming at you through the glass like you were some kind of . . .” Knox stops himself, his hands balling into fists at his sides.
“Like I was what? A slut . . . a traitor?” I step closer to him. “Because that’s what everyone at the arena was thinking, wasn’t it? Poor Leila Kane, so desperate for attention she’s sleeping with her brothers’ rivals. You made me a joke.”
“That’s not what we think,” Jagger says, moving to stand next to Knox. “That’s never been what this was about.”
“Then what was it about?” I demand, looking between the three of them.
“Was it to fuck with them? To get under their skin by fucking me? Did the three of you sit around and plan this whole thing? The masks and the chase and the . . .” My voice cracks, and I hate that I’m on the verge of tears again. “And the necklace?”
“No.” Riven steps forward now, too, and suddenly all three of them are surrounding me. “It started because we wanted to get at your brothers, yes. But it stopped being about them the second you ran into those woods.”
“That’s convenient,” I say.
“It’s the truth,” Knox says, and he reaches out like he’s going to touch my arm but stops himself. “We kept talking to you, chasing you and being with you, and it stopped being a game.”
“When?” I ask, the tears burning behind my eyes. “When did it stop being a game for you?”
“The quarry,” Riven says without hesitation.
“The rink,” Knox adds. “When we watched you skate, and I realized you weren’t just Levi Kane’s sister—you were Leila.”
“The first night,” Jagger says simply.
I want to believe them. God, I want to believe them so badly it physically hurts. But I can still see my brother’s face, can still hear him screaming at me through the glass.
“My brothers hate you,” I say quietly.
“We know,” Knox says.
“And it doesn’t matter?”
“Not if it means we get to have you,” Jagger replies.
As I look at him, I can see the sincerity in his eyes. “I don’t know if I can do this,” I admit. “I don’t know if I can choose you over them.”
“We’re not asking you to choose,” Riven says, his fingers wrapping gently around my wrist. “We’re asking you to let us prove that we’re worth the risk.”
“And if you’re not?”
“Then we’ll walk away,” Knox says, though the pain in his voice makes it clear how much it would hurt him. “But please give us a chance first.”
I look down at where Riven is still holding my wrist, his thumb brushing over my skin. Then I look at Knox, and finally at Jagger, who’s watching me like I’m the only thing in the world that matters.
“I’m still angry,” I say finally.
“We know,” all three of them reply at once.
“And I’m going to need time.”
“We’ll give you as much as you need,” Riven promises.
I pull my wrist free from his grip. “If we’re doing this, if I even consider doing this, then it’s real.”
“Deal,” Jagger replies immediately.
“Agreed,” Knox says with a nod.
“No more hiding behind masks,” Riven adds. “Unless you want us to.”
I take a step back, needing space to breathe, to think. “I have to go.”
“When can we see you again?” Jagger asks.
“I don’t know. I need to figure things out, to talk to my brothers. And not get murdered by Levi.”
“We’ll text you,” Knox says.
I turn and walk out of the shower area, marching through the locker room—where the remaining players are pretending they were not listening—and out into the hallway. My phone buzzes before I even make it to the parking lot.
Asshole1: For what it’s worth, you’re fucking stunning when you’re mad
Asshole3: I’m sorry you found out the way you did
Asshole2: Take your time. We’ll be here when you’re ready
I stare at their messages, and something in my chest loosens just a little.
I’m still angry and hurt, and I don’t know how I’m going to fix things with my brothers, or what the hell I’m supposed to do about the three hockey players who’ve decided I’m worth fighting for.
But as I climb into Levi’s truck, I realize something.
Though I love my brothers, I have to live my life for me, not them.
I don’t want to give the guys up, not now that I know who they are.