Chapter 5
It was a long night of tossing and turning. Not only did I tell Declan what felt like my entire life story, or at least how my life had completely imploded as of late, but I thoroughly enjoyed his company last night. It was the escape from reality I had been desperate for.?
Another morning came, and I woke up still harboring that empty feeling in my chest. It was a feeling I couldn’t ignore. I needed to have a conversation with my mom today. She had been out yesterday, making funeral arrangements, so I wanted to check in on her and see how that was going. Maybe I could take some of the load off her plate.
The last few mornings, my routine had been to check on Chase first thing, to make sure he was okay and had everything he needed. But this morning, when I woke up, he was already gone.?
I went downstairs, anticipating running into him, but instead, my mom was sitting at the counter drinking her coffee.
“Morning. Any extra coffee in the pot?” She looked deep in thought when I approached her.
Clearing her throat and taking a sip of coffee, she said, “Hopefully it’s not cold, I’ve been up for a while now. But have at it.”
Grabbing a mug from the cabinet, I poured a cup to give it a try. I added some cream and sugar, hoping for the best. I mixed it up and took a sip. When the lukewarm, bitter taste of coffee hit my tongue, I didn’t want to make a scene by spitting it out or putting it in the microwave to warm it up. Instead, I took the opportunity to check in with my mom.
“So, where’s Chase this morning? I noticed he wasn’t in his room.” Conversation with her was like pulling teeth, but I was trying.
“He decided to go back to school after the last couple days off. Being around his friends and football team should be better for him than being here right now.” My mother had a point.
I didn’t really want to be here, either. My mind wandered back to last night and the time spent with Declan. Surrounding yourself with friends—or a stranger, in my case—was a thousand times better than being alone in your feelings and surrounded by the memory of the thing that hurt the most.
Chase was still a kid; he shouldn’t have to bear the weight of all of this. I couldn’t imagine being seventeen and losing one of your parents. At least I had a few more years into my adult life with both of my parents. For that, I had to be grateful.?
“I’m glad he has people to be around right now. How are the funeral plans coming along?” The word funeral tasted like acid on my tongue. “Is there anything I can help with? My day is wide open…” Because, of course, my day was wide open.?I didn’t have a job, and I was just waiting around for my father’s funeral to pay my respects and get the closure I needed. Then I could figure out what was next for me.
“Everything is taken care of. Since there aren’t many family members, it will just be us and a few friends from work. The church in town is helping take care of it all.” It was odd that the funeral would be so small. My dad was such an amazing person, and I wished more people had seen that. And why the church? My family didn’t attend church, we weren’t even religious. But then again, I guess that was the typical place to hold a funeral… Right?
It almost felt like my mom was throwing the funeral together just to get it out of the way. Didn’t my dad have a plan? Was his plan really to have his funeral in the town church?
She wasn’t quite looking me in the eye when she said, “The funeral will be this Saturday.” Her facial expression was blank, looking hollow from the inside out.?
I guess I would mark my calendar for this Saturday, then. We could all show up as one big, happy family. Not dysfunctional at all. The thought made me inwardly roll my eyes.
My mother and I had never been the closest, but she needed some comfort, whether she wanted to admit it or not. She was trying to be strong for us, but she broke down every night in her bedroom. I could hear her from just down the hallway. In order to stay strong myself, I’d put my headphones in to drown out the sounds of her sobs.
We may not see eye to eye all the time, but hearing her cries didn’t sit right with me. Hearing my only parent left on this earth break down made me want to do the exact same thing.
Walking around the countertop, abandoning my coffee, I wrapped my arms around her frail body and held on tight. Moments later, she hugged me back. It wasn’t a tight embrace, but it was nice to have that connection with her. So many thoughts were running through my mind at the moment. My father and I were always closer, but I only had one parent left, and I didn’t want to have any regrets in life.?
I was going to make it my mission to find closure, have more conversations with my mother, and do my absolute best to bring our relationship closer. In order to do that, I needed to be in Alpine Peak longer than I originally thought.
But this right here, this was a step in the right direction.
Now that I’d had a chat with my mom and the funeral plans were taken care of, I needed to figure out what was next for me. As much as I loved living in Phoenix for the last twelve years, the nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach wouldn’t go away. It didn’t feel right to jump ship and abandon them right after the funeral—I needed to come home. I could always go back to Phoenix when things were more stable here. As soon as I could confirm that my mom was in a better place and Chase was set up for success, I could say my goodbyes.
I grabbed my purse off the hook by the front door and headed down to Mugs, where I could get a better coffee and some work done. I had a checklist of things I needed to take care of back in Arizona.
Hannah was a saint and remembered what I had ordered the other day, so when I walked up to the counter, I hadn’t even opened my mouth before she said, “Large latte today?”?
Even if I wanted to order something else, it didn’t feel right. Is it weird that something as small as the barista remembering my coffee order felt like a little slice of home? It gave me a moment of clarity that I was doing the right thing by staying for a while.?
Right now, I was where I belonged.
It was getting chilly outside; we were counting down the days until the first snow. Luckily, I had packed most of my clothes, and somehow, in the moment, remembered to pack warmer clothes, knowing the seasons would be turning here.?
Bundled up in my oversized sweater and leggings, I chose a spot in the corner over by the fireplace to make some calls. Starting with my roommate back home.
Fortunately for me, my roommate, Kate, was helpful through this chaotic situation. Thankfully, my old room was fully furnished when I moved in, so I didn’t need to make arrangements for any furniture left behind. I brought all the essentials with me, and the few things I did leave, Kate said she would box up and put in the storage closet for me.
My next step was getting a job. I didn’t have a car in Phoenix because I lived downtown. Close enough to the bar I worked at that I walked, even in the scorching heat. But if I was going to continue to pay for a rental car here, I was going to need a job. I had already drained my savings account on a plane ticket home and sending Kate the next two months’ rent while she found a new roommate.
I sat in the coffee shop, which was only a few doors down from Peaks . I hoped that the ‘Hiring’ sign was still in the window, because let’s face it, the only type of work I knew how to do was slinging drinks. It was all I’d done for years now.
The outfit I wore out today didn’t scream, “Hot bartender, hire me, please!” but it would have to do. It was a small town, and jobs didn’t come up every day here. Peaks was my only option.?
Discarding my finished coffee cup, I made a pit stop in the bathroom to check my makeup. “Thank fuck I made myself look alive today,” I mumbled as I took in my appearance through the mirror.
Lucky for me, the sign was still up in the window when I arrived.
“Here goes nothing,” I whispered to myself before puffing out my chest with every bit of confidence I could muster.
I opened the door to the neighborhood bar and was pleasantly surprised by how much bigger it looked inside. With a long, narrow bar top, plenty of high-top tables scattered about, and a stage with a dance floor in the back, it looked like a fun place to hang out.
And hopefully, a fun place to work. I crossed my fingers at my side in silent hope that I’d get the job.
I wondered what type of bands they had play here at night. If I had to guess, I would say most likely some country cover bands, based on the music that played when I entered.?
I was distracted by one of my favorite Morgan Wallen songs when I heard another voice.?
“Take a seat wherever you’d like. I’ll be right with you!”?she called out.
I took a seat at the bar, not intending to eat or drink, just wanting to talk to the manager on duty. It crossed my mind when I looked at the beautiful blonde bartender working that maybe I should have gone home to change if I stood any chance of getting a job here. She was everything I wasn’t in the bar industry. She had the “Three Bs”: blonde hair, bubbly personality, and big boobs. Her perfect body was the cherry on top. She was the ideal person to be tending a bar.?
The pretty bartender approached me and said, “Hey, girl, are you here for some lunch? Or just a drink today?” She spoke in that upbeat voice I overheard her using with the other customers.
I put on my best smile when I told her why I was really sitting at the bar.?“Actually, I saw your ‘Hiring’ sign in the window. I just moved back to town and have tons of bartending experience. I was hoping to speak with your manager.”?
“Oh my gosh! Thank you, Jesus!” I was so thrown off by her response that I couldn’t help but laugh.
“We have been so freaking short-staffed, and I have been working so many hours I don’t have a social life anymore.” She lowered her voice to finish what she was saying. “One of our old bartenders took maternity leave, and I personally don’t think she will be coming back…” She trailed off before adding, “I’m such an idiot and never introduced myself. I’m sorry! I’m Sophie.” She stuck out her hand.
“Hi, Sophie, Paige. Nice to meet you,” I said as I took her hand in mine for a light shake.?
“I’m actually the bar manager. My dad owns the place, but he’s always in and out of here. So, tell me, Paige, can you pour some draft beer, shots of whiskey, and remember a small menu full of bar food?”
“I’d like to think I can do that and more. I’ve been bartending for twelve years now and can do it in my sleep,” I said without even thinking.
“When can you start?” she blurted out so fast I reared back in shock. Was it really that easy??
“I can start as early as tomorrow. I just need this Saturday off, then I can work whatever Friday, Saturday, or Sunday, you need me to.” I didn’t mention I needed Saturday off for my dad’s funeral. There was no need to bring the mood down if she wasn’t aware of who I was. I was sure she would find out as we worked together.
“I’m so excited! Come in tomorrow at nine in the morning? I can show you the ropes and how to open up the bar. We can go over a few things before you start.” I was relieved with the chance to make money so soon. I needed it.
“Sounds great. Thanks again so much for the opportunity, Sophie. It was nice to meet you.”
Laughing, she smiled across the bar at me and said, “Cut the shit, Paige. No need to be professional. It will be like two friends working together. It’s going to be a blast!” A smile grew across my face, loving the personality of the girl across from me.
Sophie was the light at the end of the dark tunnel. With everything going on right now, she was the bright light I needed. Her personality radiated positivity, and I had a feeling she would be fun to work with, a good distraction and an even better friend, once we got to know each other.
Just as I was wrapping up with Sophie, the door to the bar opened. Declan walked in with someone who looked like a spitting image of him, just a few years younger. He didn’t have tattoos like Declan did, but still that dark tan skin and ice-blue eyes. Declan’s hair was a little shaggier, where the other man had a buzz cut. I assumed it was his brother, Myles, who I also used to babysit. Our eyes met as they walked my way. I stood up to push my chair in when he gave me that flirty smile that made my insides melt.?
“I told you I’d be seeing you around,” he said in that deep, gravelly voice of his.
Declan was bad news. But the kind of bad news that intrigued me. I was dying to have another night like last night, but on the other hand, I knew I was very emotionally unavailable.