Chapter Two
“You’re quiet tonight,” Sarah said.
“And you’re still here.”
Sarah burst out laughing. “You don’t like me spending time with my family.”
“I don’t mind, just think you’ve got a family at home, right?” Hawk asked, but he looked up at his sister with a smile. It had been good to have her around.
His sister helped keep their mom at bay. If it weren’t for Sarah, Hawk knew he would have been coddled, and he hated that more than anything. At the moment, he didn’t have a place of his own, and he was living with his parents, in his childhood bedroom, along with all the memories. Like today.
“I saw Katie Smith today. I mean Palmer,” Hawk said. “She looked ... happy.”
“Yeah, Katie has had it rough the past few years, but Palmer Gifts is what keeps her going. Adam did a good thing.”
“She married Adam Palmer?” Hawk asked.
“There was only one kid in Hope with the name Palmer,” Sarah said.
“Shit, I haven’t seen him in years. Can you give me his address?” Hawk asked. “Man, I have thought about Adam a couple of times.”
He glanced toward Sarah, and it looked like she had swallowed a wasp. “What is it?” Hawk asked. “You know Adam and I were friends.”
“Yeah, I know, you guys were voted as having one of those weird friendships.”
Hawk burst out laughing. “Tell me about it. Everyone thought I was going to use him to cheat. None of them knew that I was the one teaching him how to work the computer. Man, that always made me laugh. No one knew.”
“Uh, Hawk, Adam passed away seven years ago,” Sarah said.
Hawk stood frozen. “What?”
“Yeah. It was a rough time for Katie and Adam. I mean, they married straight out of high school, and I believe within a few years he was diagnosed with cancer. He beat it, but it came back, and when they were twenty-eight, he, uh, he didn’t make it,” Sarah said.
Hawk looked at his sister, and he moved toward the chair at the kitchen counter. His sister was preparing dinner for everyone.
“Wow,” Hawk said. “I had no idea. No one told me. Adam and I stayed in touch for a little while, but then, I don’t know, I got busy, and the letters and emails stopped. I figured he got bored.” He ran a hand across his face.
The grief struck him hard. Sure, they hadn’t been brothers, but he had liked Adam.
A couple of his friends over the years often asked him why he didn’t beat the shit out of him.
He always told them to fuck off. Adam had been a good guy.
He hadn’t bought into any of the bullshit said about Hawk.
It had been so good to keep it real with him.
Running a hand down his face, he tried not to think, but it was hard.
Sarah moved around the counter and placed a hand on his arm. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m okay. What about Katie? What happened to her?”
“I don’t know. Some people believe Adam made demands after he died.
She moved out of their home, into a small place, and she has dated, but nothing serious.
She runs the shop they opened together, and it does really well.
She’s amazing,” Sarah said. “She helps me out over Christmas with all the gifts I need to get the family, and she’s a rock. ”
“I can’t believe he’s gone.” He got to his feet.
“The service was at the church, and his resting place is near one of the apple trees,” Sarah said.
“Do you mind if I ... go?” Hawk asked. “I know dinner is coming soon, but I just, I kind of need to, uh...” He couldn’t finish his sentence.
“Go, go, don’t you worry about me. I can fix dinner.” His sister gave him a wink, and Hawk left the house. It was pretty warm, and the sun was still up. The heat wasn’t as harsh as it had been a few hours ago.
In a t-shirt and a pair of jeans, he left the ranch and climbed into his dad’s old truck, the one he often drove around when he was a kid. He hadn’t purchased a car yet, as he’d enjoyed the walks into town. It relaxed him.
Driving down the long driveway, he pulled onto the main road and saw the sign that told him how long to the town center. Hope wasn’t a big town, but the surrounding area made it seem large. So many forests, hiking trails, camping grounds. It was a dream setting, and one Hope had never given up on.
Making his way into town, he went straight to the church, and then started to look around the cemetery. The land around the cemetery had expanded since he was last in Hope. He knew exactly where Sarah had meant, and he went straight to the plot.
The moment he looked at Adam Palmer’s tombstone, Hawk was shocked by the wave of pain that swept right through him. No one was at the cemetery. No one could witness his tears.
“Holy shit, I was hoping Sarah was wrong.” He took a gasp and then crouched down.
Adam rested beside his parents. Hawk knew he had lost them when he was young.
Adam’s mother had died first of cancer, and within two years, so had his dad.
During his father’s last days, Adam made himself emancipated, so he wouldn’t be taken in by the State.
They arranged everything prior to Adam’s father’s death.
Hawk recalled going over to his house to give him some lessons, and being shocked that he was so responsible.
He even asked him if he’d throw some wild parties.
Adam had always told him he couldn’t. Being a minor and proving responsibility, a party would make things worse. The truth was, Adam had been hurting.
“I can’t believe this happened. I’m such a fucking dick for not writing back. I don’t even know which one of us wrote back last,” he said. “You shouldn’t be gone.”
He looked at the dates, knowing it had been seven years.
“You married Katie,” he said.
Hawk hadn’t even known the two were dating.
“I hope you guys were happy.”
He didn’t like that he didn’t know.
Tears filled his eyes. Work had dominated his whole world.
Work and playing the fuck around, doing his job.
Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, pretending people were his friends, when the truth was, they didn’t give a fuck.
When he ended up in the hospital, there were no friends, colleagues, or associates that had come to see him. None, fucking none.
There had been his family, but no one else, his working life hadn’t given him anyone.
Crouching down, staring at an old friend’s grave, he knew life had thoroughly kicked him in the balls.
He suffered a heart attack, even died on the table for a short time.
And yet, if he actually looked back on his life, all he had to show for it was a good company.
That was it. Sure, people would love the company and the work, but he didn’t have anything else. No family. No kids. No wife. Nothing.
Adam had a wife. He didn’t even know if he had any kids.
The saddest truth was that no one knew, not Adam, not his sister, not even Katie.
Adam had married the one girl Hawk had a crush on throughout high school.
Katie Smith had been one of the most amazing girls he’d ever known.
She’d been a real firecracker, never taking his shit. It had been fun to tease her.
The cheerleaders had hated her. Yes, she’d been bigger than them, but she also had never walked around semi-naked.
Whenever she walked into a room, Hawk had noticed her.
Her long, brown hair had often been curled and looked so soft.
She had been the only girl he had ever wanted, yet he’d never acted on it.
Instead, he’d done what he had always done—been an asshole.
Katie had never been in his league.
****
Katie smiled at the tourist who was so excited to close off the rest of the world, and to just enjoy nature for the next month. She had insisted on bringing her cell phone-obsessed husband, and they had each left their cell phones back home.
It was amazing how many of her customers talked to her, and Katie loved it. She loved talking to people, helping them, advising them. Just like she had advised her customer about the occasional bear, and not to keep trash close to her tent.
She had also told her to go to the information center. So many people opted to come to Hope and ditch the cell phones, and oftentimes, they needed them. There were bears, the occasional wolf packs, nature being unpredictable, and all of that.
She wasn’t obsessed with her cell phone, but she knew it was a necessary piece of equipment in this modern world. It was strange to have grown up without a cell phone. She didn’t get one until well after high school.
She watched her customer leave and was surprised to see Hawk enter her shop. There were no other customers, and she had already done some stock inventory from her latest delivery.
“Hey, Hawk,” she said, rounding the counter. “What brings you here?”
He closed the door and shoved his hands into his pants. “Uh, you.”
“Me?”
“Yeah, I, uh, I heard the news about Adam, and I ... I went to visit his grave.” Hawk looked down at the ground.
Katie had known her husband and Hawk had been friends. It was one of those friendships where everyone assumed Hawk was using Adam.
Her husband had told her he didn’t know the first thing about computers.
He was failing that class, he didn’t want to be forced to stay behind, and Hawk was helping him learn.
This had surprised her, especially as Adam had set up everything for the shop, dealt with all their taxes and their online business stuff.
Obviously, he taught her everything before the worst happened. Even still, she had been surprised by his revelation that their friendship had bloomed long before that.
Hawk loved to play chess. So had Adam. The two had found a mutual liking, talking strategy, learning the game, learning the plays.
They had stayed in touch after high school, but she had also known her husband had been the one to stop writing.
And the friendship had fizzled out. Katie knew why Adam had done it, and now, looking at Hawk, she didn’t think it was right of her husband.