Chapter 49
FORTY-NINE
Playing: “t r a n s p a r e n t” by WILLOW
I am trembling in anger as we ride in silence.
Kit holds my hand, offering quiet support as I go through every moment of the past few years and still come up empty on where things went wrong.
Cindy was supposedly my best friend, someone I have relied on for years to be there for me, but now it’s all kicked away like dust.
I can no longer try to see the good where there isn’t any, and that realization breaks me deeper than I ever thought possible.
My scent is out and growing. With every tumultuous emotion, there’s another bout of sizzling fruit that betrays how livid I am on the inside. I think the only other person whose scent can compete with mine in terms of rage right now is Sam’s.
“We’re coming up with you,” he says. “She needs to see all of us, as a unit.”
I nod, but realize he can’t see. “That’s fine. Just let me do the talking. I have a lot to say.”
“Of course, Pebble,” Kit whispers beside me, his thumb caressing mine. “We just want to be there for support. And I’m sure Sam just wants to stand there and look menacing.”
That earns him a laugh. “I mean, he does that so well.”
“Hey, I can hear you,” Sam says from the driver’s seat. “And I’m not menacing, I am intimidating. There’s a difference.”
Kit and I both giggle at our prime’s joke as we enter the neighborhood.
Nerves roll around in my stomach, and I realize that there’s no coming back from this.
Once I say what I need to say, my friendship with Cindy will officially be over.
It’s for the better, but the pain still feels stormy.
I wonder how long it’ll feel this way. I wonder how long I’ll spend mourning this companionship that I held so dearly.
After learning about what happened at the party, how she ran into Kit and told him about my ‘date,’ my sadness has morphed into wrath. Because it’s one thing to mess with me, but to mess with my scent matches? That’s just something I cannot forgive.
I go through the motions as we park and walk up the steps to Cindy’s apartment. My hands raise to knock, but then it opens as one of her roommates leaves. When she sees me, she only gives me a nod of recognition, leaving the door open as she starts down the stairs to leave.
“Well, she was a ray of sunshine,” Kit says in my ear. “That’s what you dealt with when you lived here?”
“They’re all like that.” I stare at the open door. “Come on, let’s get this over with.”
We enter and make our way through the entry and come upon the living room.
The second we cross the threshold, my omega whines in my chest. We could have gone the rest of our lives without being in this living room again, the very place we cried ourselves to sleep many times because of how uncomfortable and lonely we were.
But when I see Cindy on the couch, those emotions subside until all I can see is the person who betrayed me.
“Opal!” she says happily, standing up to greet me. When she sees my pack behind me, her face lights up in excitement. “Did you work things out?!”
The reaction confuses me, but it also makes my blood boil that much more.
“Cut the crap, Cindy.”
Her face contorts with genuine surprise. “Excuse me?”
“Why are you pretending what you did is normal?” I ask as I take a step toward her. “You asked me to meet up so you could apologize, but instead you set me up on a date?!”
She finally has the gall to look sheepish. “I know.”
“You know?” I heave out a humorless laugh. “That was fucked up. And it was the worst time of my life. But I’m pretty sure you knew it would be that way, right? Considering you’re the one who picked the guy. You must have known he was an absolute creep.”
She just stares at me, taking no time to defend herself or the situation. The complete lack of empathy I feel from her is tearing me down inside, but I stand taller.
“Why did you tell him about my condition?” It’s the main thing I want to know.
Everything else is so fucked up on its own, but telling some stranger—an alpha no less—about my rare disorder is borderline dangerous.
My scent sparks with fear once more as I remember the words he said to me.
It was obvious he was a pervert and only agreed to the date for one reason.
“Do you know what he said to me? He told me he ‘hated redheads but would knot any bitch in heat.’”
“He said what?!” Thatcher steps forward, but Sam pulls him back by his shirt. He instantly submits to our prime, becoming quiet in the background once more, but his outburst hit its mark as Cindy flinches, fear flashing in her eyes.
“Tell your dog to stay away,” she snaps, trying to assert some dominance, but it comes out flat as her fear continues to show.
I turn to look at her, showing a flash of teeth as I snarl. “Don’t worry about him. If anything happens to you, it’ll be done by me.”
“Who the hell are you, Opal? Why are you acting like this?”
The laugh I let out is unhinged, but also a little bit sad. “Me? Why are you being like this? Why the hell did you do that?! I could have been hurt!”
“All I’ve ever wanted was to help you with your condition,” Cindy says. “It seems like you just want to hide with your head in the sand, but you can’t do that anymore. You’re a ticking time bomb, and you’re going to be shit out of luck when it finally hits!”
I shake my head in disbelief. “So… what? You thought forcing it to happen by setting me up with creeps would do the job?”
“Creeps? They’re alphas, Opal. Don’t omegas like any alpha in front of them?”
I freeze, her words hitting me like shards of ice. Her expression is as serious as ever, and it makes me realize she sincerely believes what she just said.
“No, Cindy,” I respond, suddenly tired. “We don’t like any alpha in front of us. That’s not how it works.”
It’s like I’m seeing her through new lenses. Her crooked smile, the sordid movement, how her eyes keep jutting to the men behind me with fear. Then a memory hits me.
We were walking around the mall, doing what teenagers do with too much time on their hands. As we rounded the corner, Cindy pointed at an older gentleman walking towards us.
“Can you scent him?” she asked me.
Since I could now detect scents, I inhaled the air a few times and caught a touch of toffee. “Yeah, it’s like sweet caramel toffee.”
“Cool,” she replied, but when the man passed us, she pushed me into him, cackling under her breath as my body slammed into his. “Hey, mister. My friend is looking for a knot!”
The gentleman kindly pushed me away and I was mortified. I instantly wrapped my arms around myself, pushing past him to get away.
When Cindy caught up to me, I gritted my teeth. “Why did you say that?!”
“Oh come on, Opal, it was just a joke,” she responded. “Besides, you’re an omega now. You gotta get used to the terminology.”
It’s like a mountain of bricks comes tumbling down between us. A foundation I thought was strong since puberty, crashing down because of jealousy or hatred, or both.
I feel all the fight leave me. “You don’t like that I’m an omega,” I point out.
Cindy’s eyebrows raise. “I don’t care that you’re an omega.”
“That’s not true.” The memories are flooding in now, all the different ways she treated me after I presented differently from her.
How our relationship changed faster than my anatomy did.
“I’ve been trying to figure out why there was a disconnect between us and how long it’s been since we last understood each other, but it’s clear to me now. Everything changed after I presented.”
She crosses her arms, uncomfortable. “I’m not prejudiced.”
“It doesn’t matter,” I tell her, too exhausted to fight with her.
“You put me in a dangerous situation tonight. Not just because of my designation, but because of my condition. One that you knew about and didn’t take any consideration for.
I could have been seriously hurt. And it would have been all your fault. ”
She flinches like she hadn’t thought of that. “Opal—”
“No.” I cut her off, my palms spread towards her like it’ll physically keep her excuses away from me. “It doesn’t matter why, or how, or if you meant for that to happen or not. None of it matters. What matters is that I have to take care of myself. Which means I can’t be around you anymore.”
The second the words are out, relief floods every part of my body. Despite the way the stress has messed with my hormones tonight, despite the grief of letting go of this friendship, I feel relieved that it’s finally over.
Cindy stares at me, mouth open and eyes glazed with shock, but I don’t have the energy to care. “Don’t contact me. Take care of yourself.”
I turn around, ready to head out. I catch eyes with Sam, and his smile is small but full of pride. The sentiment sends something joyous throughout my whole body, because my prime is proud of me, and that makes every word I said worth it.
We get home, and there’s a new kind of tension sitting amongst us. The unspoken words are almost too much to bear as we all sit down in the living room. We all feel the exhaustion, smell it on our scents as they dull out into nothing, but we know there’s one more conversation to be had.
So, I sit up and straighten my spine as I profess, “I’m your scent match.”
“Yes,” Kit says, his face full of admiration. “We know.”
My eyes fill with tears as I look expectantly at the two alphas to our left.
Sam sits forward and takes my hands in his. “I’ve never been more honored to have another scent match.”
The dam seems to break as a few tears escape. “Really?”
“Yes,” he says. “I’m sorry about earlier. I’m sorry that I couldn’t control myself long enough to tell you how I felt.”
I shake my head before he finishes talking. “No, please. I’m sorry I freaked out. I’ve been waiting to tell you for so long, and when it finally came out, all of my fears spilled out with it.”