Chapter 54
FIFTY-FOUR
Pack life is magnificent.
It’s always the start of a beautiful day when I wake up in the arms of one of my mates, their delicious scent invading my space the second I open my eyes.
Sometimes we stay in bed for a few more minutes, and sometimes we crawl out to get breakfast. Other times, we’re horny and writhing and taking advantage of every moment we have before responsibilities come to the forefront.
And it’s always different, always a different variation or a different room, and that excitement means everything to me.
There’s never a set routine, or a set room to stay in, or a concrete dynamic for us to follow.
On days when I need all of them, we fall asleep in my nest or my prime’s room.
Sometimes, Kit will pull me into my nest and worship me for hours.
Other times, it’s Thatcher and Kit, or Kit and Sam.
Sometimes, I’ll get alone time with Thatcher so Sam and Kit can do the same.
I especially love the times when it’s all of us jumbled up together on the couch, too tired to make it upstairs.
I still make breakfast every morning for Sam, but now Kit and Thatcher join us whenever they wake up early enough.
My prime still gives me special attention when they’re there, sending me heated glances and sending naughty feelings through the bond.
Then he eats and heads off to his internship.
His hours have increased slightly since the summer started, but not nearly as many as they were before.
Sam enjoys it, and he always makes sure to check in with each of us through the bonds while he’s away, loving the way we are available to him in a split second.
Today, we’re all home, but something feels weird in the air. All of our instincts are on high alert, and it isn’t clear why until our doorbell rings around noon.
When Sam opens the door, I see a flash of brown hair and immediately tense. My prime holds the door at a certain angle, his narrowed gaze cautious as he glances upon my now ex-friend.
“What are you doing here?” he asks.
Cindy rears back. “Sorry! Is Opal here?”
He snarls. “Yes, she is.”
“I need to see her,” she pleads. “Please. I need to tell her I’m sorry.”
Sam looks back at me, asking me for an answer. I know that if it were up to him, he’d slam the door in her face and be done with it, but he knows this is my decision. And despite the weird feeling in my gut, I know she’ll be back if I turn her away now. So, I gently nod and move forward.
“Are you sure about this, Opal?” Kit whispers at my side, Thatcher behind him with his arms crossed, standing like a bodyguard ready to protect us at a moment’s notice.
I turn back to him. “Yes. Just stay in the hallway and listen in if you want. But it’s best this happens now rather than later.”
He nods and moves away, forcing Thatcher to go with him. He looks like he wants to do anything else, but submits and leaves with Kit’s hand in his.
Sam opens the door wider and invites Cindy in. I blow out a sigh of relief that she isn’t an omega, because I wouldn’t be able to stand having her in our space since our bonding is still so fresh.
Cindy’s hair has grown out a little, but nothing else seems to have changed. It’s been a little over two months since I’ve seen her. Two months free of drama or passive-aggressive comments or my boundaries being pushed.
Two relaxing months of peace.
That should make me feel guilty when I see how stress-riddled she is, but it doesn’t. Sam walks by and kisses me on the forehead, silently letting me know that they’ll be close by if I need them.
We stand there awkwardly for a moment. I have the urge to invite her to sit, but I don’t want this meeting to be a long affair, so I restrain myself. When I almost can’t take the silence anymore, she finally opens her mouth to speak.
“I’m sorry, Opal.”
The apology feels sincere, and I can see in her eyes that she means it, but it doesn’t change anything for me.
“Thank you for that,” I reply simply, not knowing what else to say. “Is that it?”
“Wait, I wanted to say more.” She panics, her eyes a little wild but also sad. “I wanted to tell you why… why I did everything.”
That gets my heart beating a little bit faster.
“I’ve been trying to figure out why I did what I did,” she explains.
“I think… ever since you became an omega, we just had different things we wanted in life. They weren’t the same anymore, so I didn’t feel as close to you.
But, when you came back around during your diagnosis and asked me for help, you needed me again.
We had a common purpose and I think I clung onto that. ”
I blink at her, the words surprising me.
“You confided in me and I felt like my friend finally needed me again. I think I sent you on a few dates with assholes so you would keep dating. So you would keep needing me to find people. After you found someone or your pack, you wouldn’t need me anymore, and I didn’t want to feel like that again. ”
I’m appalled, much more shocked than I thought I would be. “You put my life in danger.”
Cindy blanches. “I didn’t know you would be in danger. I didn’t understand the way some alphas acted towards unbonded omegas. I had no idea it could be dangerous for you.”
“How did you not know, though?” I ask, trying to wrap my brain around it.
Do betas really have that much privilege?
Do they just not see or smell the difference between good and bad energy?
Did she just not know that there were alphas out there so adamant on getting an omega that they kill or kidnap or worse?
“I… I don’t know. It’s not something I ever have to think about. Alphas see me in the street and they just keep walking, there’s nothing about me that they want, so I just…” Her eyes gloss over. “I didn’t think. And I’m so horribly ashamed, I’m so fucking sorry.”
My poor, dumb childhood friend. I am disgusted by the audacity, but I guess I kind of understand.
Ever since we first met, I had always needed her.
She pushed away the bullies, defended me, and built me up time and time again.
When I designated, and I started gaining confidence, our relationship changed.
Still, it’s a warped way of going about it, especially when she could have just talked to me about her fears.
“But… that last date. You still sent me there.”
“I know.” She nods. “I was trying to make things better with your pack! That’s why I went to Alpha Xi to talk to one of them, to push them into going to you.”
My brain practically glitches. “You were trying to push them into being heroes?”
She nods. “Exactly! Then you guys could work things out, and you could have a pack. I know that’s all you’ve ever wanted, so I was trying to fix it.”
I shake my head, absolutely incredulous about this entire thing. “I was already going to make things right with my pack. Your little stunt kept me from doing that. I thought you wanted to talk. About our friendship! I valued that, but all you wanted to do was play mind games.”
I don’t want to forgive her. I can’t find it in myself to do that at all.
“I understand, and I appreciate the apology, but I don’t know if I can forget this has happened.”
“Please don’t let this end our friendship,” she begs.
The sigh that escapes is heavy. “Cindy… our friendship fell apart a while ago. That first date messed me up, but it’s how nonchalant you were about it that pushed me away.
All the snubs and passive-aggressive comments you’ve made in my direction.
I don’t believe that will change, not right now.
So, I think it’s best if we leave our past where it is and appreciate it without making it worse. ”
“But…” She bites her lips, like she’s trying to prevent tears from coming. “I apologized. I know what I did was wrong now.”
“I don’t trust you anymore,” I say honestly, which causes her to flinch.
The side of me that still cares for her breaks at the motion, but I stand strong.
I can’t be around people who I don’t trust. “And you still said all sorts of things about omegas that don’t sit right with me.
You need to work on your bias and figure out why you need someone to need you. ”
“I can change,” she says, taking a step forward, but I just take one back in response. When she sees it, she halts, realizing how serious I’m being. “I’m sorry. I’ll take designation classes. I’ll learn.”
“You should,” I agree. “But not for me. You should because you really want to learn. Because you really care about how your bias can hurt others. That’s why you should take those steps. Not for our friendship, because it’s over.”
Cindy looks defeated as she finally nods. This moment has been bizarre in every way. Our earlier awkward moment of standing and staring at each other returns as she falls silent, but I can’t let it linger like I did before.
“It’s time for you to leave, Cindy.”
She walks to the door, defeated, and turns back. “I really am sorry,” she says, and I can see how sincerely she means it.
I nod, suddenly tired. The emotional rollercoaster of this conversation has really made my hormones go out of whack. “I know. Take care of yourself.”
As soon as she closes the door, I lock it behind her and turn to find my guys already there. Thatcher catches me just as my emotions finally catch up.
“You did so well, Omega,” Sam says, cradling my head. “You made the right decision. You need to protect yourself.”
“I know,” I say, hiding my face in Thatcher’s chest. “But it still hurts. It feels violating. How could she mess with me like that? And for such a stupid reason.”
“Things don’t make sense sometimes. What I do know is when we choose ourselves, it can hurt, but with it comes so much peace.” He continues to pet my head, whispering lovely words that help ease the sting.
After a while, as they all hold me close and comfort me in just the way I need, I realize how true that is. And now, I can’t wait for that wound to heal so my peace can finally begin.