Chapter 15
Chapter fifteen
Liam
‘Jesus, my poor fucking balls.’ I whimper out around a lump in my throat.
Said lump is probably my poor balls since Isla just not-so-princessly kicked them so hard they feel like they’ve shot up in there.
‘You could have just said you didn’t want anymore children, you didn’t have to go and make sure it never happened yourself.’ My vision is blurred as I speak, unsure if it’s due to the sheer pain in my crotch or because of the tears.
‘What… why were you creeping outside?’ Isla stutters.
Hunched over I let out another pained groan as I cradle my bruised balls.
Why, why oh why would she do such a thing?
‘Baby I know you hate me but please, anything but the balls.’
‘I…’ She looks like a deer caught in headlights. All wide vibrant green eyes startled and unsure of what to say. ‘I don’t hate you,’ she finally whispers.
My heart overtakes my pain, seeing her struggling is enough for me to brush aside this…
incident and potential loss of my two wee friends.
With a deep breath, or as big a one as I can manage since she literally kicked the air from my lungs, I get up, keeping the wincing to a minimum for my princess's sake.
She doesn’t need to see how much that hurt. I can spot the guilt surfacing on her face already.
‘All good, I’m sure they will survive.’ My smile is forced and she looks like she believes a big fat nothing of what I’m saying, but I power on. The rearranged furniture behind her catching my eye.
I helped set up this room a few winters ago and I’m sure it wasn’t done like this. Did that knock hit me so hard my memory’s gone?
Following my gaze, Isla turns around, ‘Oh, I had a bit of a rearrange.’
‘By yourself?’
Isla goes ridged.
Oh shite, wrong thing to say.
It’s like she's suddenly radioactive. I can feel her how pissed she is without her even having to look.
I clear my throat, desperate to remedy my mistake. ‘I knew you were strong. It looks good in here, much better than when I did it.’
The radioactive rage draws back a little and I chance a breath of relief but instead of anger it’s now something more blue, like sadness I sense.
First, I enrage her, now I make her depressed. No wonder she doesn’t want me to be around her. I’m sending her on an emotional rollercoaster.
Fuck fuck fuck.
Say something you idiot…
‘And to top it all off you manage to look gorgeous whilst doing it.’ There perfect, that’ll surely make it all better and it was all said with the whole-hearted truth.
‘Why are you here?’ Isla asks.
‘I erm…’ My turn to be speechless by the looks of it.
Why was I here?
I’d wanted to see her and after thinking over anything Isla might need, I’d been excited to tell her about our future together, but now that I’m here it looks pretty presumptuous of me. ‘I wanted to talk to you, see how you’re doing. We’ve not managed to speak alone since I found you.’
‘Found me?’
I nod, ‘I’ve been trying to find you since the day I first saw you, princess.’
I’ve practically torn myself apart this winter looking for her, worrying for her safety and well-being during such a brutal winter.
Each night of heavy snowfall or freezing temperatures, I found myself begging any entity that might be out there to keep her safe.
And if any of them listened, I imagine I owe a great debt to them for doing just that.
I’d pay it, though. I’d do anything they demanded if it meant this incredible woman who holds my soul would be safe.
Isla begins to speak and my heart hangs in the balance, waiting in anticipation but the sound of the door opening and two sets of footsteps entering after blows any hope I had for getting an answer from her.
Any thoughts and feelings she may have confessed to me have been locked back in the vault of her heart; it’s clear by the way her longing expression has switched to one of reserved blankness.
‘What are you doing in here?’ Ruaridh’s accusing tone pierces through the air.
I sigh, looking upward. One full conversation with her, that’s all I want. Just one uninterrupted conversation.
‘None of your business, asshole.’ Isla answers for me as she glares daggers at her brother.
‘The place looks good, Isla.’ Fauna’s cheeriness contrasts with the other two tones, and I find myself appreciating her at least trying to help lighten the mood.
‘Why’d you move shit around?’ Ruaridh asks me, accusation heavy in his tone.
Isla scoffs, crossing her arms over her chest. The motion causes her top to stretch across her small bump and my heart swells.
Our baby, my child is in there. She is growing a part of me, creating a life that is made up of the two of us. Isla is the most incredible woman I have ever had the privilege of being in the presence of.
‘You would assume it was him, wouldn’t you?’
‘Well who the fuck else would it be?’
‘Ru,’ Fauna warns.
Vish told me how protective he was over his sister but I didn’t think he was an idiot with it. Being protective is one thing but babying a grown woman is another.
Isla points her index finger at herself. ‘Me.’
Ru rounds on me. ‘You let my pregnant baby sister rearrange an entire room of furniture by herself!’ He roars, his face turning an unnatural shade of red again.
Oh fuck. I can’t do anything bloody right.
‘Oh no you don’t.’ Isla steps between us, protecting … me from her brother's wrath, and I can't help but feel a bit smug about it.
Ru’s eyes narrow on my face, reading my thoughts perfectly. I’ve never been too good at hiding my feelings, always an open book for everyone to read. Something that has gotten me into a bit of bother in my lifetime. But fuck it, this is brilliant.
‘I wanted to do this, me.’ Isla continues waggling her finger at a pissed off Ruaridh, his anger fully directed at me, never Isla.
Good. Because if it ever were directed her way, brother or not I wouldn’t be responsible for my actions, he would have brought them on completely himself.
‘Anyway, I don’t need this idiot’s help. ’
Eh? Why’s she attacking me now — she’s supposed to be on my side.
Ruaridh’s expression is the one to grow smug now.
‘Prick,’ I mouth but he only grins, waiting for Isla to continue.
‘Why does every man in here have such a fucking opinion on what I do with my fucking bedroom?’
‘Because they’ve got half a braincell between them, Isla.’ Fauna hands a small package to my girl, the delicious smell of Pam’s roasties wafting up my nostrils. ‘Pam made me bring some of these up for you to try. Said there’s plenty more if you want to come down and get some with us?’
Unsure, Isla opens the package up peering inside. Juicy yet crispy goodness awaits her, sitting there in a bed of delightful grease. Absolute heaven.
‘Stop drooling, dafty.’ Ru knocks into my shoulder with a little more force than necessary.
Hopefully Isla didn’t see that. I can’t be looking anymore like the idiot she already seems to think I am.
‘You wanna get some more?’ Fauna asks just in time for Isla’s stomach to let out an almighty grumble.
I should have brought her food when I came. She’s right I am an idiot.
I need to do better, I need to think of more.
‘Sounds like the wee man’s decided for you,’ Ruaridh gently smiles.
Isla’s having none of it. Come to think of it, why is she not as happy as most people who were just reunited with their sibling would be?
Not giving another glance to her brother or me, she walks out of the room, Fauna following behind her as they leave in search of Pam’s roasties.
‘We need to talk,’ Ru states no room for debate.
I nod, here we go. ‘What do you want to say?’
Ru sighs, rubbing his palm down his face. ‘I don’t know, Liam. She’s my little sister and I feel like I’ve lost her all over again.’
Pain fills his voice as he confesses his feelings, and I can't help my surprise.
‘What happened between you?’
‘I haven’t seen her since the fire,’ he begins and I nod already knowing the story of how they both got separated at the start of the apocalypse.
They had been in their family home, worried sick because their parents had not returned from their annual trip to the highlands to celebrate their anniversary.
Ru, Vish and Isla had been hunkered down in their home, hiding from the anarchy which had broken out over their streets, when a group of people that were out to purely cause destruction smashed their windows, throwing petrol bombs into their front room.
Isla was apparently in her bedroom at the time, Ru having sent her up to get some rest but the fire spread too quickly, the vandals having broken down their door.
I still remember the anguish in his voice the first time he’d explained how quickly the fire spread up their staircase and straight to his sister's bedroom.
Vish had dragged Ru out to stop him from burning to death.
He’d knocked him unconscious after he’d watched him stumble between flames to get to his sister, hellbent on not leaving her.
When they’d finally gotten outside the vandals were there, but Vish managed to keep them relatively hidden until Ru had woken up.
He’d been distraught, haunted when I’d met him a year afterwards. He’d never recovered from her death.
‘But something has happened. It’s like she hates me now and I don’t know why.’ Utterly defeated, Ru sighs. ‘I feel like I’m doing everything wrong. I want to be there for her again, like I was when we were younger. We did everything together, you know.’
I feel for my best friend I really do. But I can also see how he’s stuck seeing her as the little sister he had before all of this. Before the world turned to hell.
‘She’s strong, Ru. You need to remember she’s spent seven years surviving without you.
It’s hard to think of, I know, but she will be so used to looking out for herself, it’ll be hard to hand that over and trust anyone.
’ I clear my throat, chancing at some honesty and hoping it doesn’t get me another punch to the face.
‘We need to show her we’re here to help when she wants it, but we're not going to take away her independence. We need to help her fly instead of coming across like we’re about to clip her survival wings. ’
‘All this time it was really her? The one you couldn’t stop looking for?’
I nod, feeling a surge of emotion swelling in my chest.
Ruaridh and Vishrut saw first-hand how much being away from her was tearing me apart.
‘What I said earlier still stands. You hurt her, I’ll kill you.’
‘I’d expect no less.’ He nods, moving for the door, ‘But Ru, I will never hurt her. I’d ask you to kill me before I ever considered doing something like that.’
With his back to me, a silent agreement is made between us. He’ll try and work on how he acts with her and I’ll make sure I never make her life harder.
As I think over the strange dynamics between us all a loose piece of paper catches my eye, scribbled handwriting covering the white surface.
A quick glance and I know exactly what I need to do.
Tucking the crisp piece of paper in my pocket, I follow my best friend, my mind whirling with possibilities.