Chapter 18 Isla
Chapter eighteen
Isla
‘So we didn’t actually smell that badly is what you’re telling me,’ Luna says as she lies half-on-half-off my bed. Her head hanging over the edge as she lies upside down with one of my pregnancy books in her hands — one of the ones that Liam brought me.
‘We smelt like shit,’ Liz responds as she also flicks through a book with a pregnant lady on the front. Something's different about her recently, but I can’t quite put my finger on it.
‘Isla has super pregnancy smell,’ Luna backwards rolls off the bed and onto her feet. ‘Which means we didn’t smell as bad as she said we did.’
One of my pregnancy symptoms earlier on was the fact that I could not stand the smell of all of us. We smelt like death and B.O. mixed together and my insides wanted to crawl away from the smell every time someone moved and I was hit with a wall of their death scent.
‘You smelt the worst, Lunz.’ I joke, and the others laugh as her mouth hangs open.
Thank everything in existence that all of us have had multiple showers since arriving here over a week ago. I swear I’ve spent at least an hour a day in there since I got in here. And an hour still doesn’t feel like enough.
From reading through these books I’ve realised my symptoms are pretty mild and I could have gotten it far worse. Yes, being pregnant in the apocalypse is not exactly ideal, but fuck some of the side effects that some women can get. I’m baffled why anyone would want to do this.
‘Eww,’ Fauna gags from her perch on the bunkbed. ‘I’m sorry Isla but this shit is disgusting.’
She flips the book open for us to see and we collectively groan.
‘Put it away, I’m too innocent to be seeing pain like that.’ Luna covers her eyes with the palms of her hands, her wild pink hair swirling around her as she mentally shakes away the image.
‘Haven’t you cut a man's balls off before?’ I question, distinctly remembering her threatening a guy who was bothering us whilst we were making our way through the Midlands.
She hums, as if going through her endless memories of torturing men.
Luna suddenly gasps, causing me to jump. ‘I remember that guy! He was such a nob head.’
‘How can you be chirpy about that but cover your eyes from pictures of giving birth?’
The girl is one big contradiction. She’s absolutely insane but in the best sort of way.
‘Making men suffer is a far easier task,’ Liz answers.
I laugh. Of course, she would agree with Luna on this one. Although she’s not fond of the pregnancy books, she has been trying her hardest to be as caught up on what to expect as Fauna and Luna have.
It’s just harder for Elizabeth since she can’t really read.
Fauna and I had suspected it for a while. It became clearer and clearer the more she mispronounced the names on cans and bottles but she hides it well from the others. Not that she needs to, they would never judge her but she’s always been a closed book. I guess that’s why we get on so well.
‘Exactly!’ Luna exclaims, jumping to her feet and aiming her pink and blue book my way.
‘Have you spoken to Liam recently?’ Fauna changes the subject and instantly sours my mood.
I’ve managed to avoid talking about him with the girls this entire time.
Blissfully avoiding my complicated feelings for The Skull — the father of my child.
But they know where the books came from, and when I told them, the ways in which they all made serious attempts to remain blasé were laughable.
Fauna looked like she wanted to begin organising the wedding whilst Luna assessed the pile with what was beginning to look like approval. Liz’s expression was as blank as ever but her eyes did shine a little brighter with something like hope for me.
I, on the other hand, had a panic attack.
I mean, seriously, get a grip girl. In what reality would it be normal for me to have a panic attack because the masked guy I fucked months ago, found me and wants to… help me?
I didn’t know how to feel about it, especially not with the memory of how his eyes darkened as he found Vishrut standing behind me.
His muscles had tensed so much he looked like he was turning to stone…
or the hulk. I’d wanted to explain myself, had the urge to tell him nothing was going on with Vish and me, but I was a coward.
Instead of staying and … well, talking to him, I ran straight into my room to hide.
A small part of me felt disappointed that he did not follow me. And an even bigger bit of me feels unsettled by the fact he hasn’t really tried to speak to me since.
Instead, he has been sending Elsa and Archie over to me with an assortment of different food parcels.
When the first time one came I didn’t know what to do with it.
I just stood and staired at the gap-toothed little girl who held up a full-to-the-brim tin casing.
In fact, I stared for so long, Elsa — much to my embarrassment — began to shake the box, asking if I was going to take it.
Ever since, every day, like clockwork, I’ve had my own personal delivery of snacks, each one different as if he wants to give me a selection.
‘Isla?’
Drawing me out of my thoughts, I look at the three women waiting for my response.
Oh shit, Fauna had asked me about him.
‘Not really no.’
‘Maybe you should?’
‘And say what?’ I ask because what exactly is there to say? Oh hey… yeah, remember that time we had no idea who each other were, and we decided to fuck? Well I haven’t been able to think about anything else since and whilst we’re on the topic how do you feel about me being preggers with your baby?
I would rather run through another fire than admit to him how he makes me feel.
Fauna shrugs. ‘Anything. A simple hi would be a good start.’
‘Or you could just ask to fuck him again,’ Luna buts in. ‘You seem to be good at that part.’
‘Thanks,’ I grit out.
Truthfully, I do want to speak to him but I don’t know how. My social skills have gone to absolute shite since the outbreak and that’s saying something considering I was always quite shy with strangers before the virus hit.
Is Liam a stranger? Does fucking in an abandoned building constitute for passing the finish line of not being strangers anymore?
As if saved by the bell, our bedroom door swings open and a glittering child with an even brighter smile comes barrelling inside.
‘Delivery!’ Elsa shouts at the top of her lungs as she makes a beeline for where I’m sat on the floor, resting against the wall.
‘What yumminess have you graced me with today, chef?’
She giggles, her DIY chef's hat swaying with the movement. ‘It’s a sup’ise,’ she says still struggling with the r sound in words.
‘It smells fucking delightful.’ Luna announces, practically salivating next to me.
‘Back off, this is mine.’ I whack her away as Fauna scolds her for swearing in front of a child.
She doesn’t exactly have a leg to stand on considering she swears like a sailor herself.
I pop open the lid, breathing in the juicy aroma of what looks to be some form of skewers.
Elsa hands up another tin, this one feeling much lighter. Curious I arch a brow, she usually comes armed with one tin of goods not two.
‘Special t’eat, Liam helped me pick em this mo’ning.’ She beams.
Opening the tin, I find the beautiful sight of a small crumbly dessert, the sweet smell of rhubarb warming my heart. I’ve not had a pudding since my parents were alive.
‘Oh Elsa,’ my voice is thick with emotion.
These damn pregnancy hormones.
‘You like?’ Her sweet face looks unsure of herself, worried I may not like what she’s giving me.
Discreetly, I swipe away a rogue tear that manages to escape before she can see it. ‘I love it, thank you so much.’
‘Wasn’t just me. It was Liam’s idea,’ pronouncing Liam all cutely as she says it — sounding more like Wiam. ‘He said you need all sweet goodness.’
‘That’s very kind of him.’
‘Yeh realll kind.’ Luna drawls and I throw a pillow at her.
‘Should say thank you to him.’ Elsa suggests all puppy dog eyes that make me question if she is plotting — or been put up to something by Pam.
‘Yeah Isla, I can think of a few ways you could th-’ Luna is cut off as Fauna throws her pillow at her this time stopping her from the more than likely inappropriate comment she was about to make.
But my mind stays on what Elsa just said because she’s right. I need to stop burying my head in the sand and speak to him.
The sound of his whistle finds me first, the same light melody I’d heard the first time I spotted him.
I’d followed the tune through the abandoned, crumbling building all those months ago.
It had led me up and around a filthy corner to find his incredibly large, muscled back.
I’d seen large men, and I can faintly remember the physiques of sports players I used to gawk over as a teenager.
But his back was something more masterful, and it has somehow become more beautiful.
With his shoulder length dirty blonde hair tied back from his face I have a clear view of the way his shoulder muscles tense at whatever he’s doing.
Liam is stronger than that first time, his muscles somehow bigger than I remember and boy do I remember.
What can I say, a girl's only got her imagination in the apocalypse and with these pregnancy hormones, phewww … Let's just say I memorised each and every muscle on his body.
My gaze trails down Liam’s back, finding the waistband of his boxer’s peaking out beneath his jeans. The black band looks far too sinuous, drawing me in as I remember what is underneath those clothes.
Wetness pools between my thighs as I continue to stare.
But good things can never last long, not in this world and unfortunately I’ve discovered it is usually my doing. I either push people away, piss them off or — in this case — let a not-so-subtle moan escape my lips, giving away my presence to the massive Skull I’m ogling.
Liam looks over his shoulder, his coarse beard scratching across his shirt.
Oh fuck.
His gaze drops to my thighs as I squeeze them together and I watch as his devilish eyes light up in amusement.
‘You love watching me. Don’t you, princess.’
His voice is full of sin as he stands to his full height, abandoning whatever it was he was working on. With slow and sure steps he walks over to me, not stopping until he is so close I can smell him.
Unable to stop myself, I breathe in his scent of oak. He smells like I would imagine a woodworker would, like he lives amongst the trees.
Oh god I’ve missed that smell. I’d held onto it for as long as I could those weeks after we’d been intimate, secretly keeping his t-shirt in my pack for the times the loneliness crept in too deeply.
I feel my blush coming to the surface at the thought.
‘What’s this, baby?’ He strokes my warm cheek. ‘Are you remembering the first time we met? How you looked at me exactly like that.’
Lips parted I don’t respond, not sure I actually can. My tongue darts out, swiping across my bottom lip as his eyes follow the movement.
Liam draws his bottom lip between his teeth, humming in appreciation.
Why had I come here again? What could have possibly been going through my mind to get me to approach the man I’m so terrified of.
The sound of wings flapping, helps aid me in clearing my mind of all things sinful and what exactly this man is capable of.
I look around his shoulder, stepping up onto my tiptoes to do so.
I’m tall for a woman, Ru and I having tall parents passed on the long-limbed genetics to the both of us.
Something I felt anxious about when I was a teenager and taller than not only all of the boys in my class, but for a short period of time, my older brother.
Kid’s were mean. Adults are fucked up. But I’ve long since learned to love my body, afterall it’s what has helped me survive all these years.
Liam somehow made me feel dainty when I was in his arms. He’s taller than me but not by too much. It’s his body that makes the difference. He’s built like a truck so wide with muscle I don’t remember being able to wrap my arms fully around him.
Now up on my tiptoes, eyebrows raised I manage a quick peep at what all the racket is about back there and my mouth instantly hangs open at the sight before me.
I drop back down to my heels, looking up at the contradiction staring straight at me — eyes hooded with a lazy grin.
‘What are you doing?’
‘Looking at the most beautiful woman I have ever set my eyes upon,’ Liam rasps.
‘No—’ I pause, wait did he really just say that?
‘Yes, princess. I really just said that and I can say a whole load more if you’d let me.’
I wonder what he would—
‘No,’ I shake my head, ridding my dirty mind of his influence. ‘What are you doing there?’ I point behind him.
Hesitantly, as if it pains him to take his gaze away from my body Liam turns around, glancing back at the… I’m not sure what to call it.
‘It’s… ah, well it’s a nest. I’m teaching them how to nest.’ He shrugs his gaze fixed back on my lips, and suddenly, I’ve forgotten what he’d just said.
‘You what now?’
I slap away his rogue hand, the one that looked like he was aiming to slip around my waist, as I step away from him. Climbing the few remaining steps I stop at the entrance of what looks to be rows and rows of bird houses, or more accurately should I say pigeon houses?
What the actual fuck am I looking at? Turning, I side eye the wall of muscle that is now looking a little sheepish.
On the floor in front of a selection of the houses I look closer at what Liam was working on. The misshapen lump of twigs and fluff are exactly what he’d just said, a nest.
This big fucking dafty is literally teaching pigeons how to build nests.
The worlds mad.
I’ve gone mad.
‘Why?’
He steps up behind me, resting his big palm on my lower back.
‘They were never taught how to,’ his hand begins to stroke up and down my back in a soothing motion.
‘This was their home before we all moved in, and even then they were treated like a pest. We’d destroyed so much land building these ugly cities, so many animals lost their natural habitats.
Then we had the nerve to act as if the wildlife was the problem, when all they were trying to do was find a place to call home after we’d destroyed every one they’d ever had.
’ He shakes his head. ‘Every creature deserves the chance to give their child the best start to life. Some just need a little helping hand to begin with. Pigeons were abandoned by us after we stopped finding them useful, its not their fault that we never taught them how to prepare for their eggs.’
Bloody hell, this man is deep. And R.I.P to my hormonal heart because I think I’m seriously about to burst into tears because some pigeons don’t know how to make a home for their babies.
And this man, this strange and wild man is helping them learn.