Chapter 29
Chapter twenty-nine
Isla
The metal blade sails through the air and embeds itself in the wooden plank. Hitting exactly where I’d intended it to.
Now that we have access to better weapons my throwing skills have drastically improved. I’m not quite Amelia’s level of expertise, but the girl managed to master throwing disassembled scissors for fucks sake, she’s pretty hard to top.
The machete, though? I’m still top ranking with this bad boy.
I rarely take it off of my belt loop. However, the belt is on its last loop now that my belly has grown.
Pam says I’m still on the smaller side in terms of bumps and from all those books I have read and re-read I’d agree with her.
Almost everyone here has reassured me that it’s nothing to worry about and that some women don't pop till the last minute. Either that or it’s just my genetics and being on the taller side.
Every now and then a pang of longing happens when I remember my mum isn’t here to guide me through this.
I wish she were here to tell me what it was like for her when she was carrying Ru and me.
Both my parents were tall, hence mine and Ru’s height.
But Liam? He’s fucking huge, so let's just say I’m a little worried about the actual birth.
I’d told Liam just as much and of course the dafty came back with a shit eating grin and a plan.
The memory makes me giggle and I bring my hand to my mouth to stifle my laugh. I can’t be laughing out here alone — throwing knives at a target — people will think I’ve lost it.
But I can't help myself. Liam had sat me down, looking all serious for a second and explained the importance of perinatal massage and how in his researched opinion, he should be starting to do them now.
I’d gaped like a fucking idiot as what he was saying sank in. Did he seriously want to massage my butt? And sure as hell I’d asked him that but all I got in response was a determined head nod and him pulling my legs so that I slid down the bed, right into his inspecting gaze.
He’d lasted all of two minutes before his mouth was on me and I was moaning his name.
And not an ounce of me was complaining.
Anyway, it has now been incorporated into our daily routine at Liam’s insistence.
‘What are you giggling about?’ A familiar voice interrupts my thoughts and I feel my cheeks immediately blush. ‘You finally gone mad on us?’
With a squeak of the soles of my shoes, I spin to look at my brother's other best friend. Vishrut stands before me tall and handsome as the sun shines down upon us both. His brown skin glows in the light and his kind eyes take me in.
Younger me would be blushing at the way he’s giving me so much attention. Hell, that version of me would probably be hearing wedding bells and picking out dresses, but now? Now my mind wanders to another man, a man that looks at me like I’m his world.
‘You look happy, Isla.’ Vish smiles.
I feel happy.
Happier than I’ve maybe ever felt. Even before the virus I struggled, my emotions felt like they were being swallowed by my anxiety. Now it feels like I’m standing on top of it. It’s like I rule my anxiety rather than it ruling me.
‘I am,’ I press my lips together in an attempt not to smile too much at my admission.
I don’t think my anxiety will ever go away and that’s okay because it doesn’t define me. I may be anxious but I’m still a fucking badass.
An anxious baddie if you will.
And I’ll fucking kill anyone who tries to take the happiness I’ve found here.
‘I bet they’re so proud of you, wherever they are.’ Vish looks around. ‘You’ve grown into such a strong and incredible woman and you’re going to be the best mum, I know it.’
Emotion clogs my throat at the mention of my parents. ‘Thank you.’
‘I see you’re still honing that anger,’ he nods to the knives protruding from the wooden board.
I laugh, ‘can’t be getting sloppy.’
‘Not in this world, no.’ He almost looks sad for a moment, but he schools his features perfectly back into the teasing dafty I remember him to be. ‘You’ve got to keep Liam on his toes too.’
‘No worries on that front,’ I laugh awkwardly.
We’ve not really approached the whole Liam conversation, but it hasn’t gone unnoticed that their relationship has become strained. The second Liam spotted me with Vishrut I watched something in his gaze change towards his friend and it’s not turned back.
‘I’m happy for you both, really Isla.’ His smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes and I know he’s holding something back.
‘Are you… okay?’
He sighs, scratching the back of his head.
‘In all honesty? I’m a wee lost. It’s lonely for a lot of us and seeing both Ru and Liam so happy is great but it’s also… You feel what you’re missing. You know what I mean?’
I nod because I do. It makes sense and I’d actually not thought of it that much.
The others in my group rarely converse with anyone but themselves, all of them still very closed off and suspicious.
Something I don’t blame them for, but maybe if we all made more of an effort to become a society, things would be less depressing for the others.
‘Yeh, I know what you mean. Maybe we could talk to Pam and Sam about having a big dinner or a party. I can speak to the girls.’
‘A gaff in a stadium sounds like something younger us would be all over,’ Vish laughs.
‘Would definitely be impressive,’ I laugh with him. ‘Let’s do it. We need more laughter in here.’
‘Okay, darling. Whatever you think is best.’
I try not to feel sad at the defeat in his voice, but it’s there.
‘You just need to warn the others about how…’ I clear my throat. ‘Unique some of the girls are. They haven’t had much time to practice their social skills over the past few years, so don’t say you’ve not been warned.’
Vish shakes his head, covering his grin with the palm of his hand. ‘I don’t think you need to worry about that part.’
I look around, seeing some of the other Skulls laughing and joking around.
For a group of masked men, they look terrifying when they are together, but the second they open their big mouths they manage to say the stupidest shit I've ever heard.
They are nothing but a bunch of dafties.
But none of the girls know this. How would they if they rarely leave the confines of their room?
When I think about it, who could blame them?
I’ve never been interested in comforting them — that has always been Fauna’s job.
And she’s been busy enjoying her new life with Ruaridh, exactly the way she deserves to be.
But it’s not something new to us, them being shy and reclusive. Not to mention extremely suspicious.
We spent months talking about how we would avoid The Skulls and now we’re here playing house with them.
Ergh, it sounds so bad when I lay it out exactly as it is.
‘I’ll get them to join.’ I state, lifting my chin and pulling my shoulders back, the decision made for them.
At one point they are going to have to start living their lives for themselves but sometimes people need a little helping hand in the first few steps to freedom. After all, Liam was the one to teach me that.
‘Do tell how you're going to manage to get them out of that room. It’s not like we haven’t tried to be friendly.’ Vish states, not convinced.
‘Yeh dufus. What isn’t friendly about a bunch of muscled men that are tatted up to the eyeballs, have a death count in the double digits—’
Vish scoffs.
‘Fine,’ I roll my eyes. ‘In the hundreds and run around wearing Halloween masks. Not to mention you fucking hang people around the city as a warning of how mean and scary you are.’
His lips twist in a grimace.
‘Exactly. These girls have been fucking through it, Vish. Don’t you dare judge them for being apprehensive about playing tea party with a bunch of killers.’
‘You’re all killers too, Isla. In case you forgot that.’
‘They killed for survival. The rest of us killed for their survival. Just because some of us are more than prepared to end someone acting even the slightest bit suspicious does not mean every single one of them is. Dick head.’
Expression sobering, Vish nods his head, seeming to accept what I’ve spelt out for him.
‘You’re right. It’s been… harder to understand them when I’ve never spoken more than two words to them.’
I get it. I’d probably feel the same way if it was me being ignored. But this world is complicated. People have a lot of baggage and it comes in all shapes and sizes. Hopefully, we can help build up that trust little by little tonight.
‘I’ll talk to them.’
‘And if they say no?’
I grin, the plan forming in my head perfectly.
‘That look is kind of spooky.’
‘You just focus on getting everything in order for a good night.’ I assure him, spinning on my heels and making a beeline for the overexcitable six-year-old across the stadium floor.