Chapter 33 #2
‘Oh, well if there are benches,’ Mum interrupted.
‘Why didn’t you say so earlier? It’s perfectly acceptable to kick your disabled parents out of their home – the home they let this prissy madam move back into with her hoard of savages – if they get benches.
Forget the flat, why don’t we just sleep on the bench? ’
I turned to Lacey. Her face was grey, eyes glazing over. She probably should have taken a few days to recover before starting this conversation, but it was too late now.
‘Come on, I’ll help you pack.’
‘What?’
‘I’m not leaving you here with them. You’re coming straight to my house.’
‘Excuse me?’ Mum bristled. ‘Who are them? The cat’s pyjamas?’
‘This is your fault.’ Dad jabbed his finger at me. ‘Infecting her with your snobby ideas. We were fine until you got bored and started poking your nose in.’
I steered my sister out of the room and upstairs, where we filled as many bags as we could squeeze into my car on top of everyone else, because she wasn’t in a fit state to drive.
The last thing my parents said to their daughter as she moved out of her family home was ‘Good riddance’.
Maybe their upset was understandable – excusable, even – given the shocking news that they would have to find a new house, too.
If prior to that they’d expressed one iota of joy or relief that their daughter had avoided prison today, a microgram of sadness that their grandchildren were moving away, it would have been a whole lot easier to feel sorry for them.
‘We’re not staying here any longer than we have to,’ Lacey informed me once we’d given up trying to settle the kids and decided to simply shut the bedroom door and pretend we couldn’t hear them.
Instead, we poured ourselves a glass of prosecco and lay either end of the sofa, admiring the stars through the bifold doors.
‘Agreed,’ I said, tweaking her toes, which were pressed up against my ribcage.
‘Let’s not put our current harmonious relationship to the test for any longer than necessary.
How are you feeling?’ I asked, after she’d downed the first glass and poured a second.
The atmosphere was far from celebratory.
‘Like I’ve run one of those iron-man things with my bones full of wet sand. I’m too disorientated to even feel relieved. Honestly, if I begin to think about what’s happened, I feel sick with anxiety.’
‘About Tad?’
Bronte had opted to stay in Crandon tonight.
She was going to get packed and sorted, then drive Lacey’s car here on New Year’s Eve.
Lacey would then take her to Derby on New Year’s Day, so she could inspect Flo’s house before helping Bronte and Zendon settle in.
We were confident enough that her dad wouldn’t try anything so soon after the court hearing.
A bigger deal would be Bronte collecting the rest of her things from home, facing the ire of her grandparents.
‘About everything. I’ve got to find a house, a school, hope I can transfer Lennon to a half-decent paediatrician.
My whole life I’ve known where everything is, how it works.
Which shopkeeper will give my kids a free lollipop, instead of throwing us out.
Shania has cut my hair since I was eighteen.
She gets how it goes weird at the side if it isn’t layered properly.
Am I just going to have weird hair now? I’ve got no friends, here, Alex. ’
‘You haven’t really got friends in Crandon, either.’
‘No. But everyone knows me. I’m one of the Nixons.’
‘Yeah, one of those Nixons. That’s not a good thing.’
She screwed up her face. ‘At least I was someone. Now, I’m a homeless, unemployed convicted criminal with absolutely no money and children who are politely referred to as challenging.’
‘And a sister who’s internationally famous for being a lonely loser.’
I shuffled around and squeezed up the sofa so I could wrap my arm around her.
‘You’re also my big, brave, badass sister. I know it’s scary, facing a world of unknowns. Feeling like an unknown. Having to start again with no idea how or where to begin. Trust me, I understand. But we will figure it out, together. One day at a time, remember?’
For the next couple of days, we made a good start.
After one more trip to Crandon to collect the rest of their things, Lacey deleted all her social media and got herself a new phone number and email address.
We were hopeful that out of Crandon meant out of mind for Tad Butcher, but it didn’t hurt to take some precautions.
We had to wait until the new term before applying for schools but took whatever steps we could to keep the relocation process going.
One big issue was a house. With no job, finding somewhere with enough space in a half-decent condition wouldn’t be easy.
I initially considered letting them stay with me longer-term, until, after an incident with Kaylynn, my kitchen scissors and a basket of clean washing, I briefly decided they could stay and I’d move out.
However, this house was not child-friendly, so in the end I simply sent Lacey the details of three houses in Bigley that were up for sale and told her to pick one.
‘You aren’t buying me a house.’
‘Of course not. I’m buying a house as an investment opportunity, as suggested by my financial advisor, then desperately searching for someone trustworthy who I can rent it to.’
‘Are you really that rich?’
‘Financially, I’m a three-bed semi-detached in Bigley Bottom rich. Having my sister back in my life, along with my nieces and nephews, is priceless, so I win.’
She put a fist on one hip, pointing the bread knife in her other hand at me. ‘I’m not paying a token-gesture, pity rent.’
‘Okay, so the full market rate?’ I nodded, blithely.
She tossed her head. ‘I didn’t say I objected to a family discount.’
I kept my eyes on my laptop screen. ‘Let me know which one you choose and I’ll arrange a viewing.’
Did I think about Will, in between chasing kids about, refilling my perpetually empty fridge, tripping over shoes and finding out about dentists and holding my previously strong sister while she sobbed? Only with every beat of my battered heart.
I wanted to call him, every cell in my body aching to hear his voice, while I spilt my guts. But Lacey needed me to take charge, give her and the kids my all while she slowly gathered the mangled pieces of herself back together.
Besides, she wasn’t the only one feeling scared. I’d told Will that I didn’t choose him.
It felt wrong – insulting and arrogant – to waltz in expecting to pick up where we’d left off, now my other plans had fallen through.
If I was honest, my fear went deeper than that.
The thought of walking away from Will and his family was crushing.
However, it was also back in my comfort zone of self-reliance.
My so-called independence might feel desolate in comparison to a couple of months ago, but at least it was safe.
Immersing myself in helping Lacey fix her life was so much easier than having to confront what a future with Will might look like.
Going silent on him wasn’t fair. He’d come to court, for goodness’ sake. He knew Lacey wasn’t going to prison but had no idea she had left Crandon or that I was staying in Bigley.
It was wrong to leave him grieving our embryonic relationship. Cruel, if he felt half as distraught about breaking things off as me.
I kept telling myself I would message him.
But then, a message felt far too impersonal.
I would call. Once the kids were settled, out somewhere, all in bed, so Will would be able to speak to me without his kids around, too…
But when that finally happened, even a call suddenly seemed too awkward.
Besides, Lacey needed those times without the kids to talk.
‘Just go and see him,’ she said, wiping her eyes and trying to appear fine after catching me glancing at my phone yet again.
‘It’s too late.’
‘It’s only nine-thirty. Besides, if everything you said about him is true, he won’t care if it’s three in the morning. You’ve broken the man’s heart. Go and fix it, Fixer Alex.’
While still dithering about this, Darya posted on the Friends Wanted chat.
I’m creating another tradition. Friends Wanted New Year’s Eve party. Original gang only. Tucker’s, obviously, 7.30pm. Bring a drink, something to eat, a story to tell and a song to play.
Oh, and a hope for the New Year to share.
One by one the replies came in:
Count me in!
Beats a night watching whatever rubbish is on the telly
Can I bring my new girl friend who I want to be my girlfriend?
Will didn’t reply until the following morning. My woeful night’s sleep waiting to see if he would come was the least I deserved after two days ghosting him.
Sorry for last-minute reply, was waiting to confirm Jordan and Catrin will babysit, but I’ll be there.
I typed, deleted, typed and deleted my reply, arguing with Lacey that it wasn’t fair to go out and leave her and Bronte on New Year’s Eve until Lacey snatched my phone and answered for me.
YES. Can’t wait to see you all again!
‘I love you, Alex, but I’ll love you even more if you give me a night off from all this planning. Leave me to binge some crappy reality shows and eat an entire pizza with my daughter without you hovering about worrying I’m turning into Mum.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘Big sister’s orders. Don’t come home until you’ve had a New Year snog with your man.’ She smirked. ‘I won’t be waiting up. Now, let’s raid your obscenely expensive wardrobe for the perfect apology outfit.’
Lacey drove me to Tucker’s, once I’d booked an unavoidably expensive taxi for just after midnight. I was looking forward to catching up with everyone, but still my muscles trembled as I walked through the door, scanning the room for only one person.
Will stood up when he saw me. He wore a midnight-blue shirt and smart chinos, and I relaxed a tiny smidgeon at not being the only person dressed up.
‘Hi,’ I said as he quickly moved over, leaving the other Friends at the table.