Chapter 33 #4
Lola hoped she could stay single for the full year. ‘My year of me. Not to be selfish, just to learn how to be happy with myself. Maybe get some pro bono therapy from this awesome psychiatrist I know.’
‘I simply want Tucker’s to become a success,’ Merry said.
‘What does a success mean to you?’ Donovan asked.
‘Well, obviously we need to break even. A profit would be even better. But you know my dream. I want Tucker’s to be a place where everyone feels at home.’
‘Even my nieces and nephews?’ I asked, with a wink.
‘Especially people who might feel uncomfortable elsewhere,’ Merry replied, placing a hand on Joel’s arm. ‘A café where every customer gets treated as a friend. Yes, we have the tastiest pastries and comfy seats, but more than that, I want us to be known for the warmest welcome.’
‘What about you, Will?’ Donovan asked.
Will smiled. ‘Alex first.’
‘Really?’ I asked, suddenly flustered. Did that mean his answer had something to do with me?
I took a moment to consider what to say.
‘When I saw Darya’s message, asking us to bring a hope, I thought I’d share something about my family.
I hope my sister can find a lovely house, the kids will settle in, and they can feel at home here.
That my eldest niece, Bronte, has the best time spreading her wings in a new city.
I should probably be hoping I can find a job, something that allows me to have a work-life balance for the first time ever.
I could hope to use these next few months to find out who I am, outside of that incessant compulsion to prove myself.
How to relax and have fun. I could hope I can keep these incredible new friends I’ve found, that they’ll be patient with me while I figure out how to be a good friend back.
‘I do hope for all those things. But, if I’m honest, the one thing I hope for most, that I cannot stop thinking about and longing for, is that Wellington Huxley will forgive me for everything I said at the Christmas Eve Eve Dinner.
Will, I’m so, so sorry. I hope you can still believe me when I say I love you – and your wonderful children – and I hope there’s a chance you could still love this lonely loser back. ’
Will blinked a few times, the rest of the room so silent I could hear my heart scrabbling inside my chest. He glanced down, then up again. He cleared his throat, ran a hand through his hair, then pulled a piece of paper from his trouser pocket.
‘This is what I wrote last night.’ He blinked again, swallowed hard and then started to read.
‘My biggest hope for the new year is that Alex Nixon will believe me when I tell her I’ve fallen in love with her, and that no matter what the future holds for us both, I hope she can love this lonely loser back. ’
‘No way!’ Joel whispered, causing Merry to slap his arm.
While I was still reeling, Will stood up and came around to my side of the table, kneeling on the floor beside me and taking hold of my shaking hand.
‘I’m sorry I didn’t choose you,’ I said as tears started running down my face.
‘I understand your family needed you. But you should have talked to me about it, seen if there was a way we could make things work. When you decided to choose them, you removed my choice to decide what I wanted, and assumed that because you couldn’t see how to make things work, we wouldn’t be able to figure it out together. ’
‘I know that now. I’m so sorry that in trying to do what was best, I didn’t give you any say in what was best for you.’
‘I’m sorry too,’ Will said, softly. ‘I’m sorry I simply accepted it and chose to let go when you asked.
I didn’t fight for you – for us – because I guess, on one level, I’ve learned that even when I do fight, people I love don’t choose me.
I’m done with being respectful and reasonable about that, by the way.
I am not letting you go that easily, ever again. ’
‘So, it isn’t too late, to choose you?’
‘I don’t think it ever has to be about you choosing me or your family.
You have a big heart, Alex. I’m pretty sure there’s room for all of us in there.
’ Will smiled. ‘How about we start with this? Alex, will you choose to come and hang out with me and my kids tomorrow? We’re having a board game and marshmallow marathon.
Jordan wants to play me his jazzed-up version of ABBA’s “Happy New Year”, and Edith has prepared a monologue entitled “The Dangers of Helicopter Parenting by Widowed Fathers”. ’
‘And Bonnie?’
‘Oh, Bonnie has told me that if I don’t invite you over, then she’s packing her things and moving in with you, because you are way better at plaiting hair, and reading stories, and explaining things, and not being grumpy, and you will probably let her have a real-life elephant, or at least an elephant seal. ’
‘Right.’ I had to laugh, even as the tears kept coming.
‘What do you say? Will you choose our chaotic, bonkers, full-on family day?’
‘Every time.’
Then, everyone else, who I’d virtually forgotten was there, cheered and whistled, and Will kissed me in a gentlemanly manner, until I grabbed him and kissed him with all the passion of the New Year’s Eve fireworks that started exploding outside the café window.