Chapter Four
Wade
Briggs is strange. I can’t seem to get a read on him no matter how much I stare at him. I’m surprised he hasn’t told me to fuck off yet but every time he catches me staring, he just smiles and looks away again.
Briggs is handsome. He’s smaller than me but still strong, strong enough to carry me all the way to this town.
His skin is pale, much paler than mine, except for the parts of his face that are exposed to the sun.
His hair is short and dark, his eyes always alert and a light brown color.
There’s stubble on his face but he keeps it cut, probably using the knives he keeps in his thigh holster. He seems like such an ordinary guy.
What’s the catch? This seems too good to be true. I’ve somehow stumbled on a human who still possesses a conscience and he just happens to save me. He just happens to want to team up to help me get supplies? Something isn’t adding up.
As much as I want to poke at him and get to the bottom of what’s going on inside his head, I don’t think that’ll help either of us. It’s best if I just keep my head down, accept his help, and the moment I can, I’ll run. I’ll run as far and as fast as I can. I’ll finally be free.
He opened up for the tiniest moment last night.
A weird survivor’s guilt complex he’d called it.
What the fuck does that even mean? I have a few ideas, but I won’t know for certain unless he tells me and I have a feeling that won’t be happening.
Confessions like that take a level of trust I doubt we’ll ever have.
Running my fingers through my greasy hair, I let out a deep sigh. Fucking hell. It feels like I’ve been shot.
Right. That’s because I was.
My thigh still aches, the healing going so much slower than the rest of my body because of the silver of the bullet. Thank Christ that bullet went through and Briggs didn’t need to try to dig it out of my thigh. That would have been such an inconvenience.
“This house looks pretty untouched.”
“This whole town has been untouched. It’s strange. I’m getting such weird vibes.”
“What? Like ghosts? Aren’t zombies enough?” Briggs asks with a little chuckle.
He does that a lot. Chuckles. I can’t decide if I like the sound or not. Every time, I find myself flinching, waiting to be the butt of someone’s joke. Instead, Briggs gives me an easy smile.
“Sure, it’s a small town, but why hasn’t anyone else raided it? Something feels wrong.”
Briggs hums. “I suppose you’re onto something. There’s also a suspiciously small amount of zombies. Maybe everyone in the town left all at once?”
“Maybe,” I say slowly, completely unconvinced.
We walk into the house, going slowly. I don’t hear anything and my shoulders fall away from my ears, the tension leaving my body.
The first place I go is the kitchen while Briggs heads into the house further, looking for the bathroom.
I have a backpack and I’m slowly getting it full.
I still need to find someone the same size as me so I can get some spare clothes.
The ones I’m wearing are disgusting and I can’t wait to get out of them and maybe find a river to bathe in.
I’m gonna burn these clothes. If I can get them to catch fire, that is. They might be too greasy for that.
“Score,” I whisper to myself as I open a cabinet and find a variety of canned goods. I won’t be able to take them all because it’ll make my backpack too heavy, but I’ll be properly stocked for a while.
I don’t know why, but as I go through all the cabinets, I keep looking for popcorn.
When I realize I’m doing it, I growl to myself.
What is it about Briggs that makes me wanna find him some popcorn?
Sure, he saved me, but I don’t owe him anything.
I shake my head, trying to clear it as I continue looking for supplies.
After filling my bag with as much as I can carry, I move over to the living room. There’s a lot of religious imagery on the walls. Crosses and pictures of Jesus and bible quotes on scenic backgrounds.
I look around, taking in all the pictures. The husband in the pictures looks like he has a similar build to me. That’s perfect. Maybe I can finally change out of these nasty ass shorts.
“Jackpot,” Briggs says, coming into the room. He passes me two toothbrushes, still in the box, some toothpaste, and two packs of dental floss. “No more dentists so it’s extra important to take care of your teeth.”
“I never thought about that,” I say, putting the supplies into my bag. “Too busy thinking about escaping to worry about my teeth.”
Briggs pauses for a moment, giving me a look. “Well,” he says slowly. “Now that you’re free, you’ll have lots of things to worry about.”
“I’d rather worry about them than count down the days until a virus finally takes me out.” I let the words land between us. The silence that follows is awkward and oppressive. I sigh. “I never thought about it, but wouldn’t it be shit if the apocalypse happened while you had braces.”
“Fuck,” Briggs murmurs, running his fingers through his hair. Just like that, the tension is gone again. “That would be awful. At the same time, I would totally watch that movie.”
“Just a guy traveling through the wastelands, on the look out for a dentist who’ll finally remove the metal from his teeth.”
“That’s compelling stuff right there. Cast a super hot actor as the lead and it would sell like hot cakes.”
I find myself smiling. As soon as I realize it’s happening, I look at the ground, schooling my features. I’m annoyed at myself. I can’t let my guard down. I can’t let anyone in. Look what happened the last time I let myself feel safe.
“I’m gonna try to find some pants,” I say quickly, leaving the room. I walk through the house until I find the bedroom.
My heart thumps against my ribs inside my chest almost painfully.
I feel like a puppy who’s so desperate for attention he’ll wag his tail for anyone willing to toss him a scrap of kindness.
I’ve been beaten and abused, but I still want to believe that Briggs is a good person and won’t fuck me over.
I’m so desperate to not be alone that my heart wants to trust quickly even when every other part of me is screaming for me to run.
I’m being pulled in two opposite directions. One tells me to stay with Briggs so neither of us has to deal with this fucked up world alone. The other part tells me to never trust again and that I’m better off alone.
I rummage through the closet, doing my best to settle the war inside my head. If I don’t think about it, surely the war will end on its own, right?
“Bingo,” I whisper to myself, finding clean clothes that will fit.
I quickly get naked and pull on a new pair of boxers, some jeans, and a white shirt.
That’ll get dirty really quick but I don’t give a fuck.
For the first time in a long ass time, I feel like a human again.
I’m more than just an animal or a monster, I’m also a man.
I stuff some extra clothes into my bag before moving over to the mirror on the wall. I stare at myself for a long time, just taking my reflection in. It’s been so long since I’ve seen myself, I’ve almost forgotten what I look like.
My green eyes look hallowed and haunted.
There are dark rings under them. Hopefully now that I’m free, those will slowly go away.
My body is broad and strong despite everything it’s gone through.
The hair on my head is dark but matted beyond repair from the lack of care or washing.
I’ll have to shave it off. My face remains hairless except for my bushy dark eyebrows, one of which has a scar running through it.
I’ve never been able to grow facial hair and that feels like a blessing now. One less thing to worry about.
With one last look in the mirror, I turn away and try to find Briggs again. I find him sitting in the kitchen, sharpening some knives he’s found.
“Hey,” he says, looking up. He gives me a small smile as he takes in my new clothes. “Looking good.”
I run my hands over my shirt. “Thanks. The white won’t last long but this was better than all the dress shirts in the closet.”
Briggs stands up and points at the chair he was just sat in. “Want me to umm, shave your head for you?”
I nod my head and sit down. When I was a little boy, my mother once told me that trauma is stored in our hair. Obviously as a kid, I thought that was bullshit but now, as Briggs slowly and carefully shaves my head, I realize maybe she was onto something.
As each swipe of his knife takes more and more of the hair, I feel my shoulders grow lighter.
I feel like I’m shedding away the man those people took, allowing my true self to come forth.
I had to build up walls and defenses in order to survive and now, I still need to survive, but something has changed.
I don’t have to be brazen and cold, I’m allowed to just be Wade.
I’m allowed to survive on my terms and my terms alone.
Briggs gently runs his fingers over my scalp once he’s done, pushing the hair off my head and shoulders. Tears spring to my eyes against my permission and I breathe through it, not wanting to shed them in front of Briggs. He squeezes my shoulder before standing back, giving me a moment.
I cover my face with my hands, letting it all out.
Eventually, I wipe the tears from my face and stand up. Briggs is leaning against the wall, sharpening his knife again. He looks up at me, cautiously smiling.
“Thank you,” I say, ignoring the way my voice cracks.
“No worries, Wade. I’m happy to help. Got everything you need?”
“I think so.” Then I touch my head, another shaky sigh leaving me at the feel of my bald head. “How does it look?”
“Suits you,” Briggs says with a nod. I believe him.
“Should we keep looking around?”
“Yeah. Let’s finish raiding the neighborhood and then we can either start moving or spend another night in that bunker outside of town.”
It takes a few hours for us to get through every house. We find all sorts of supplies we pack away into our bags. We’re fully stocked on canned goods, weapons, clothes, and medical supplies. As we go, I might feel lighter but there’s still a part of me that finds this entire town creepy as fuck.
Where is everyone? Why are there no zombies? What the fuck happened to this town when the zombies hit?
The longer we’re here, the more my stomach feels like it’s filled with rocks. Something isn’t right and I don’t know if I want to find the answer.
Whether I wanted to know or not, we find out anyway.
“What the hell?” Briggs murmurs as we find a church in the middle of the town. It’s got giant stained glass windows on the upper levels and huge towering crosses at the steeple. It’s a beautiful building. This church must have been here for years based on the wooden walls and doors.
The thing that we both stare at though is the chains around the doors. I can’t tell if they were trying to lock someone out or keep someone in. I stop and listen, my entire body freezing.
For the first time since entering this town, I pick up the sound of zombies. Not just one or two. No. The church is filled with them.
Briggs reaches out to touch the chain but I stop him. I put a hand on Briggs’ shoulder, stopping him. “Wait.”
I stare up at the church, my eyes widening. Then I turn towards Briggs, shaking my head and taking a step back. Then another.
“What’s going on?”
“They’re here.”
“Who’s here?”
“The zombies. The town. Everyone. They must have come to church when everything hit and locked themselves inside.”
“What? Why would they do that?”
I shake my head again. “Maybe they thought they’d be safe inside? There were rumors at the beginning that this was God sending plagues to Earth. Maybe they thought if they were faithful enough, they’d be spared or something?”
Briggs looks back at the church, letting out a frustrated noise. “We can’t just leave them like this.”
“We are not fighting an entire hoard of starved zombies, Briggs. Hell no.”
“No, that would be stupid,” he says, still staring at the church. “I have a better idea.”
We go through town again, this time stopping in everyone’s backyards and garages. We find more than enough gasoline for what we need. We take our time, covering the church in gasoline and oil and anything else we think will keep the place lit up.
“Ready?”
“Ready,” I say, already starting to walk away. Briggs tosses a match onto the oil and just like that, the entire church lights up. I can feel the heat on my back as I walk away.
Just like Briggs helped me let go by cutting my hair, it feels like we’re allowing these people to let go. Their bodies can finally find peace. They’re no longer hungry or starving, they can just be done.
Fire is cleansing and I can’t help but feel like we helped cleanse that town, once and for all.
When I woke up this morning, I couldn’t stop thinking about how I needed to run.
I wanted to be as far away from Briggs as possible.
Now, as we walk away from the burning church, the sound of burning zombies slowly fading away the further we walk, I can’t stop thinking about excuses to make to keep us together.
The lighter my shoulders become and the clearer my head is, the more I realize how hard it is to survive all on your own. I don’t have to trust Briggs to know that having him around could be an asset. Surely he can see that having a werewolf by his side will help him live longer.
I’ll prove to Briggs that I’m an asset. I’ll prove that I’m worth sticking with. And maybe if I never bring up splitting paths, Briggs won’t either.