Chapter 11
Palmer
Jumpy was the first word that came to mind as I watched Ferris pacing in front of the restaurant he’d said was his favorite. Olive Garden. The next word was sexy because his pants were cupping him in all the right places and I loved the excitement that was clear in him.
Yes, he was nervous but that just meant he was eager to see me.
I didn’t want the nervous part to get too overwhelming for him, though.
My boy was good at processing facts but his own emotions didn’t seem to fall under that category.
That was what he needed me for, so I stepped onto the sidewalk to make sure he could see me when he turned to pace back toward me.
“Oh.” Relief flooded his face as he let out a long breath, but he did his best to get his expression under control before I got to him. “Hello, Palmer. See? I remembered. I even have you saved correctly in my phone now.”
Chuckling softly, I stopped close to him before holding out my hand. He blinked at it oddly for a few moments before taking it and trying to hold it correctly. It didn’t look natural at all, but it gave me good information, so I was going to count it as helpful.
When he looked up again his neutral expression was almost believable, but we’d spent too much time together at the club for it to fool me. “Hello, boy. Your memory was never in question but your cheekiness was. I haven’t forgotten our conversation about you needing a spanking.”
Thankfully, we were alone at the moment so distracting him wasn’t going to cause us any problems, but my response got me another confused blink before he sighed. “You noticed. You’re trying to distract me.”
At least he wasn’t trying to lie about it.
“Your being nervous about our date or just general anxiety? Yes.” There were more specific issues we should probably tackle first, though. “Tell me what you were worried about.”
We’d talked every night after work for the past couple of days, but clearly waiting until mid-week hadn’t been the right decision. My goal had been to give him processing time, but it seemed like his brain had turned that into worries he hadn’t confessed over the phone.
“Mostly that you weren’t going to show up?” The half question, half statement wasn’t delivered confidently but it seemed honest. “And secondarily, just about not doing this right.”
Both made sense and probably explained why the fears grew once our date was imminent.
“Thank you for explaining that clearly and for answering quickly.” Squeezing his hand, I tried to decide what to say. “I know I can’t magically make fears disappear but I’m here, I always intended on being here, and I’m excited to be with you no matter how this goes.”
Nodding, he gave me a faint smile. “I bet you’d like to be able to make my fears disappear like some kind of superhero.”
“Guilty as charged, but I will settle on having the superpowers of being able to answer questions and distract you.” His smile was cute but it was the way his shoulders came down and his posture relaxed that I liked best. “I will consider this a wonderful date if I get to know you more and I get some kind of hugs or cuddles at the end.”
That got another blink like the information was giving him a mental reset.
Had I accidentally made the situation better?
“Because you like being touched and you like holding me.” Reciting the information back made it seem like he really didn’t connect with it but nothing about it said he had an issue with it. “I enjoyed that too and I even had a dream about it.”
Before I could even think about any kind of response, teasing or not, he froze. “I’m sorry. That was inappropriate to mention.”
Was it?
“Not to me.” Had other people thought that was odd?
“We spent a lot of time together the other night and were intimate with each other in ways that were very new to you. Both of those would keep your brain thinking of me and what we did whether you were conscious of it or not. I’d have been surprised if it hadn’t come up in some subconscious way. ”
Taking a deep breath, Ferris let it out slowly as he nodded. “Brains are interesting and process information in odd ways sometimes.”
“Like with dreams.” Dialing up the heat in my voice, I knew he could hear it when he licked his lips and inched closer. “I like that you were dreaming of me. Was it confusing or was I holding you?”
“Both.” He made me fight off a smile as he huffed. “I woke up frustrated with you this morning.”
He was adorable.
“I can see why that was frustrating.” He didn’t like emotions he couldn’t analyze. “How about you tell me about it while we have dinner and we’ll sort through the exasperating bits?”
Ferris wanted to agree to that right off the bat, but we’d hit something that stumped him again. “Why would you do that? Is it a Dom thing?”
How badly had his attempts at dating gone?
Were women really that different than men?
I was starting to think I should’ve dated a couple just to have experience for future reference. Figuring out my sexuality early was having some unexpected downsides.
“It’s me being curious and wanting to help you be in a better mood.
This version of Ferris is back to being agitated and stressed.
Making you feel better is important to me, and in this situation, part of my role as a Dom.
” I was pretty sure we were making progress when his head cocked, but I was patient.
“In this situation?” He rolled his thoughts around for a moment before his head straightened. “What do you mean?”
“I can’t predict everything and might end up being the reason you’re frustrated.” My shrug made him smile. “So I’m covering my bases.”
“I can’t see you being the reason I’m this worked up but I guess I’m a big enough pain in the butt sometimes anything could happen.” His pout was dramatic enough to need a kiss, but I wasn’t sure how he felt about public displays of affection. “So I’ll accept in this situation.”
He was so dramatic.
We needed to have our dates in more private places so I didn’t have to keep my hands to myself.
“I’m glad.” I was also glad to see his desire to stomp his foot and pout was easing back.
“I also want you to remember that I will explain very clearly if something you do upsets me in any way. I will not ghost you or just randomly disappear after making a date. I enjoyed being with you at the club and talking to you on the phone. Nothing we’ve done so far has upset me.
..including having this conversation because it’s important to me that I understand what you’re feeling. ”
Shoulders went down.
Back straightened.
Expression was back to neutral.
Much better.
“I’ll remember that even though I might need reminders on a regular basis until it sticks.” Frowning softly, he sighed. “Dating has not gone easy and I think expecting the worst has become a habit?”
“Emotional habits like that are hard to break, but I’m going to help just by showing up and keeping my word.” And by figuring out what made him happy. “For this date, that’s going to mean talking and enjoying dinner before we decide how to get some privacy for cuddles.”
The way he perked up said I was going to thoroughly enjoy whatever came next.
“I’ve been looking forward to that.” He seemed surprised about that which had me trying not to smile again. “It’s not going to be something I do just for you.”
Oh...interesting.
“Thank you for making that clear.” So far he seemed to understand that sometimes he’d do something just to make me happy, but I knew we needed to have a more detailed conversation at some point.
He might get the overall idea, but I wasn’t sure about the fine print.
“I’m glad we’re both looking forward to it. ”
“I’m also looking forward to my reward.” His pleased-as-punch expression didn’t look like we were talking about intimate rewards even though we both knew we were. He looked a bit like a kid as he rocked back and forth on his feet. “I also remember the topic of kissing came up.”
Kissing my dick.
“I haven’t forgotten about that either.” Turning him toward the door to the restaurant, I did a teasing shrug. “I might’ve had a dream about you too.”
“Oh.” His excited inhale had my grin breaking out. “I think I’d like to hear about that.”
I wasn’t sure he’d want to do it, but he clearly enjoyed being desired.
“I would be happy to share it with you...once we have a bit more privacy.” Winking at him got a quiet laugh from my still slightly nervous date. “I have no desire to be kicked out of your favorite restaurant.”
And something in his brain switched gears again.
“Can you explain why people have very strong responses about a restaurant that serves pasta in a nice atmosphere?” That was clearly a request to explain how another date had gone wrong. “I really don’t understand the dramatic reactions I’ve gotten after someone asks for my favorite restaurant.”
“I would be glad to help but I like this restaurant and I was very excited when you told me it was your favorite and wanted to go with me.” Too many people hid details like that and I thoroughly enjoyed not having to guess.
“It’s going to make picking out a place to take you in the future a lot easier. ”
Smiling softly, he shrugged. “I don’t have to come here. There are other places I like.”
Technically that was probably right, but it also seemed like he’d come here for every date if I let him.
“Well, they have a big menu and some very good desserts, so I don’t see why we can’t come here on a regular basis.
” That got wide eyes from him as I reached for the door.
I was pretty sure I knew this one without having to ask.
“I’ll let you know if I’m craving something else specific and we can discuss if that’s a restaurant we do together or one that I have for lunch on my own. ”
It took several seconds before he came back to life, shifting and twitching his hands like he didn’t know where they belonged. “I don’t mind variety. I won’t be a pain in the ass about other options.”
Had someone claimed he was a pain in the ass?
“You can have variety here. They have a lot of different kinds of meats, starches, and vegetables. The menu is big enough that we’d have to eat here a lot before I had to repeat anything.
” If his brain liked Olive Garden as a reward, I could adapt to that.
“What I meant was that if you don’t like something or if it’s just not what you want to spend a date eating, I’ll have that for lunch at work. ”
It wouldn’t be a hardship.
“Dates are about spending time with you. Period. Not the specifics of what we do unless I list out an activity like a new movie or a cultural event that’s only going to be happening on a specific date.” We’d figure out a way to deal with those if they came up.
And he froze again.
“I...I think I should tell you that I don’t go to the movies very often.” His careful wording had me nodding and not showing much of a reaction.
“They’re loud and people are overwhelming there sometimes.” The way his body immediately relaxed said I’d guessed something correct. “I’m going to gather some information from you about that and then I’ll decide the best way for us to tackle movies.”
That had my adorable sub turning to look at me, door forgotten. “Dealing with something like that...planning an activity so that we can both get what we need...that’s part of what you see as your role as my Dom?”
“Yes.” And just what a good boyfriend should do, but there was no way he was ready for that word.
I was pretty sure he’d let me marry him first because he could probably justify that with amazing logic.
“I get information from you about what you think and feel about a situation, then I make decisions. In this case, after I get enough facts I might decide that I go to the movies with friends instead of doing them for dates with you. I also might figure out ways to handle the aspects of going to the movies that you don’t like.
I won’t know how I handle the situation until I get more information.
Think of this as us currently in a neutral position and once I have all the details I’ll shift it to another position. ”
He started moving again.
Nodding, he squeezed my hand that time instead of just allowing me to touch it. “That makes sense and it’s a practical application of your skills and the things you like about being a Dom.”
His internet research must’ve been very comprehensive.
“I’m glad you understand that and don’t think it makes me weird.” The way his body jerked said he’d never thought about that. “Some people find me too controlling and I’ve been told more than once that I need to let people handle their own problems.”
Ferris’s face scrunched up like he’d unexpectedly sucked on a lemon. “That’s rude. There’s nothing wrong with knowing what you need to be happy. It’s amazing that you can list out what you need to thrive in a situation like a relationship.”
Rubbing my fingers against his, I didn’t try to hide how sweet that was. “You know, if we had more privacy here, I’d show you just how nice that was.”
Well, it seemed like we’d finally found what would make him blush.
It did wonderfully wicked things to me and just made the color in his cheeks more vibrant. “Yes, privacy at the end of our date is going to be a must.”
Nodding, he licked his lips and straightened as he seemed to have decided to ignore his reaction. “I was promised a reward and kissing, so I agree.”
I was very glad to hear that.
“Perfect.” Squeezing his hand again, I pushed back the image of kissing him and focused on reality. “We’ll figure out our options over dinner and after that I’m going to ask you more about Harvey and that spreadsheet situation. I never got the end of that story.”
His groan was adorable.
“He’s so annoying.”
And my theatrical boy was going to love venting all about it while he ate his favorite meal with his new favorite person on what would become his best first date ever.