Chapter 16
CHAPTER 16
HE’S AFRAID OF THE NEIGHBORHOOD MOOSE, TOO?
Blair
“You were naked?” Lily’s laughter howls from the other side of the kitchen.
“Lily, it was not my finest moment.”
She only laughs harder at the seriousness in my voice. “To be a fly on that wall to see Griffin’s face.”
I was just catching Lily up on the exciting evening I had when I met the diverse wildlife of the town. To my surprise, I learned we have a friendly neighborhood moose that occasionally wanders into my yard. You’d think Nan would have given me a heads-up about that. I make a mental note to touch base with her on that minor detail she left out.
I giggle as I mix the batter of cookie dough. “It’s just hysterical to me looking back that a moose watching me shower scared me more than walking in on my husband banging his secretary in his office.”
When I don’t hear her laughing with me, I turn to face her.
Her face is sheet white, and I definitely just ruined the mood of the morning.
“What?” she asks, barely above a whisper.
Shit .
I tried to avoid talking to people about this. I got caught up in the moment with her and just let the words fly out of my mouth.
I sigh, knowing it had to get out at some point. “I was married before I came here. It was the reason that I moved out of the city. I was married to the mayor and learned of his infidelity when I was bringing him a batch of oatmeal cookies.”
“You can’t be serious? Oh my god,” she says, covering her face with her hands. “You should have said something when I asked you about being married. I’m so embarrassed now.”
“Don’t be. I guess you can say I am trying to run from that life. I said nothing because I don’t want to be known as the girl who got cheated on anymore. Ten months after my divorce, I had enough. The chatter behind my back just going to the store, and the friends who ghosted me when I was no longer his wife…it was all too much for me. Not to mention, I wasn’t able to be myself anymore. I was hiding at my sister’s apartment to avoid the criticism.”
“Jesus. I’m so sorry that happened to you,” Lily says sympathetically.
“Don’t be. I’m really okay.”
And none of that is a lie. Since the divorce, I’ve had my moments. I’ve still shed some tears. However, things have never been better than my life today. I’m happier and feel at peace with this new atmosphere and friends.
It’s actually the first time sharing this story out loud with someone other than Kodi, and I didn’t cry.
That’s huge for me.
“Was the divorce recent?” she asks.
I shake my head. “It was quick, actually. I moved out the evening I found him. Taking Reginald, a few belongings, and myself to live with my sister. He didn’t beg me for anything other than out penthouse we owned together. He said he would be ‘politically fine without me.’”
“What a jerk.”
I scoff, letting out a scoff. “Tell me about it. I haven’t asked my sister for an update on him either. I don’t want to know how he’s doing, if he’s running for office again, or hell, if he’s already married to that secretary now.”
“You think he will want you to take him back if he needs it? You know, for political exposure.”
The thought never crossed my mind.
“I doubt it,” I tell her. “He knows where my head was at when we ended. I wanted nothing to do with him. Besides, he probably has no idea I even moved out of the city.”
“Good.”
“It’s why I’m just focusing on my life right now. I’m learning more and more about myself and how to be independent without being in a relationship. Like this is my first real job as an adult,” I tell her.
“No way,” she says shocked.
I nod. “I know that sounds really out there. A twenty-nine-year-old who’s never had a real job until now. But like I’ve told you before, I grew up with overbearing parents. I had life handed to me on a silver platter.”
“I know what you mean,” Lily says. “It’s why this bakery is my pride and joy.”
I offer her a soft smile. “After everything I went through, I realized I never want to settle again. Not in any part of life, including a job or a relationship. If it happens again, I know I want that big, loud type of love when it comes around.”
“And you deserve that, Blair. Between the story you told me the first day I met you about your parents, and now this? No one should ever have to go through that.”
I nod, unsure how to respond because she’s right.
“You know, you and Griffin are a lot more alike than you think.”
“You mean he’s afraid of the neighborhood moose too?” I joke to ease the tension forming in my gut.
She laughs lightly. “No, but his ex left him. And…I guess it’s hi s story to reveal. I don’t want to dip into my brother’s laundry and share more than he’s willing to tell people.”
“I understand.”
And I do, because I would rather hear it from him.
If he’s ever willing to tell me.
I’ve been feeling like there’s more to Griffin than meets the eye, and it intrigues me but also makes me feel bad for him in a way. I’d hate the thought of him being the way he is because of some pain from his past. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.
“The reason I think you two are a lot alike is that you each have created this rough exterior on the outside. You’ve both built up these walls around you…” She pauses, deep in thought. “I always knew something was up with you. Not in a bad way, no offense.”
I raise my hands in the air. “None taken.”
“It’s just,” she continues, trying to find the words, “no one just moves to a town they know nothing about. I had a feeling it was for a deeper reason.”
“And how is Griffin like that?”
“I wish I had an answer for why he’s the way he is,” she explains nonchalantly. “I understand people handle their emotions differently, and that’s absolutely fine. I once felt the overwhelming feeling of being head over heels for a man myself, only to be left here alone…” She pauses, delicately running her fingers over the tattoo on her forearm. “We all face challenging times. It only serves to strengthen us. Just look at you now,” she says, beaming with pride. “You’re so fun and you look so free. This new divorced life—even if I didn’t know you before now—looks fucking good on you.”
Her words hit me right in the chest.
While most of my life has involved others doing things for me, growing up with the life I had posed its challenges. Everything I’ve ever been through has truly led to where I am today.
Here in Bluestone Lakes.
“I feel free. I feel good. ” I emphasize the truth coming out. “I allowed myself to sulk after catching Theodore in the act. I wanted to rage. I wanted to fight. I almost stayed.”
“What?” she gasps.
I shake my head. “I didn’t know any better. I walked out of his office and called my sister to see if I could stay with her. Only to be hit with guilt for leaving.”
“Oh, Blair.” She sighs. “I’m so happy you didn’t stay.”
“I’m happy too.” I nod repeatedly. “The idea even crossed my mind that I could be foolish enough to forgive him for what he did. I never can and never will.”
“That’s where you and Griffin are different. He processed his pain by keeping a wall up around his heart. Hell, around his life to the point he doesn’t trust anyone anymore. He doesn’t let anyone in and has made his entire life his bar and the ranch.”
I can totally see that .
She offers me a warm smile. “I immersed myself in baking. I know that he’s never coming back.”
“I didn’t say anything to your comment before because I don’t want to bring up a sore subject, but I’m here if you want to talk about it.”
She laughs. “I didn’t even date the guy, Blair. I know that sounds so stupid, but we grew up to be the best of friends. He was actually more Griffin’s friend than anyone else’s. The day after graduation, he just left town without another word. No one has heard from him since.”
“I can’t even imagine. Are you seeing someone now?”
She shakes her head, letting her eyes land on her tattooed skin again. As if it holds all the answers for her. “I’m better off being on my own. I’m told I have way too much sass and work too hard. Besides, outside of this bakery, being at the ranch is my lifeline. Riding horses keeps me sane, and I would be lost without it.”
“I don’t see any issues with that. I can’t believe you ride horses. That is seriously so cool.”
She smiles widely. “It’s the most freeing, and exhilarating feeling in the world.” She takes a step closer to me, placing a hand on my shoulder. “I’m really happy you’re here, Blair. It’s nice to have a good friend in town.”
She has no idea how nice it is to have a good friend in town too.
“And since you’re such a good friend, I’m going to let you in on my secret spot in town,” she says.
I raise an eyebrow in her direction.
“Barlow Ranch,” she says, nodding her head. “Okay, maybe it’s not a secret spot. But it’s my secret spot. A place I go to when I need to clear my head, allow myself to feel feelings alone, or just need to breathe.”
“I saw it briefly when I drove into town but haven’t been that way since. It sounds wonderful,” I say.
She looks down at her watch before looking back at me with a grin on her face. “Since we’re closing up here soon, why don’t you head out now? If you’re going to visit my spot, you need to go at just the right time to see the most perfect views.”
“I can’t just leave. My shift isn’t over.”
“I’m the boss,” she says, pulling at my apron to bring it over my head. “And what I say goes.” She successfully gets it off me before swatting me with it to get out of the kitchen. “Now, go.”
“Fine. Fine.” I hold my hands up in defense before turning to leave. But I stop myself and turn around to face her. “I’m really lucky to have met you, Lily.”
“Right back at you, sister.”
I haven’t been toward the main entrance of town since the day I got here. It’s out of the way of everything and truthfully, everything I need is in the heart of the town.
My car rolls to a stop as I see the sign come into view .
I scan the surroundings, remembering that Lily said the best spot is the far south end of the ranch. I speed up a little more until I reach the spot where the wooden fence curves at almost a ninety-degree angle. I park off to the side of the road, round the front of my car, and step up to the point in the fence.
Two horses that were standing near the edge of the fence start to make their way toward me. A stunning white horse and a deep chocolate brown one. Both are draped in what appears to be blankets. I wonder if one of these horses is Lily’s.
I don’t know a thing about horses to even know what it’s called.
As I stand there, the sky undergoes a breathtaking transformation, shifting from a vibrant blue to a palette of pale orange and pink.
Looking up, I finally grasp what Lily was trying to convey about this spot.
The way she described it doesn’t do it justice.
I inhale the smell of fresh cut grass, closing my eyes to really take it in.
I let my mind wander to every single step that led me to this moment. That led me here. A single tear escapes, and I let it fall freely as I sit here in the open with no one around.
But it’s a happy tear.
Laced with the profound feeling of pride that I fucking did it.
I escaped the chains of my life to start a new one, breaking the mold that was put in place for who I was supposed to become, and let myself fall into the person I was meant to be all along. While there are still some rough edges and I feel lost at times, I don’t feel the pull to remain poised and presentable every hour of the day.
I’m free.
Kodi was skeptical, and I don’t blame her, I was too.
As the sun crests more over the mountain, I inhale and exhale again before leaving for my car .
The whinny of a horse in the distance causes me to turn around again.
A dark black horse gallops in the distance with someone on its back. The horse’s tail sticks out straight off the back and the rider bounces almost gracefully on its back as they both move with speed across the pasture.
They finally slow in the shadows of the stable and that’s when I realize the man riding the horse is Griffin.
I thought he looked good the last few times I’ve seen him.
Right now, even from a good distance away, he looks downright hot.
But in a burly cowboy type of way. Gone is the flannel I always see him in. This time he’s wearing his signature dark wash jeans with a solid white T-shirt that looks painted on him with sweat, likely from working around the stables.
The cowboy hat on his head covers his hair, but the thick scruff of his beard is on full display.
Slowly, I watch as he dismounts the horse, carefully petting the top of its head before he presses a kiss to the side of its face. My heart leaps watching him interact with the horse and doing what he seems to love.
Is this his escape?
What really happened to him to make him the way he is?
As if he can feel my presence, his head turns in my direction. The sun hits his face at just the right angle, allowing me to see it entirely. My breath hitches in my throat, but I don’t move.
He doesn’t look angry for the first time since I’ve arrived in town.
He doesn’t look like he wants to run me out of here.
He looks…like the pretty man I know is deep inside of him.
I lean forward, resting my arms on the wooden fence, but don’t take my eyes off him the same way he doesn’t take his off me while he wraps the reins of the horse around his wrist, tugging the horse in the direction he wants him to go .
Side by side, I watch as he walks the horse into the stable putting even more distance between us than there already was.
Only then does he turn to break the stare.
There’s something about Griffin Barlow that draws me in, but I’m torn. His silence and short, clipped answers to things drives me crazy. Would he allow me in? Getting closer to him would only lead to falling for him. I know in my heart, I can’t. But sometimes the heart has a mind of its own.
It falls without warning.
The last thing I want to do is fall for the angry cowboy.