Chapter 28
CHAPTER 28
YOU’VE BEEN DRIVING ME CRAZY SINCE I GOT HERE, ANGRY COWBOY.
Griffin
Me
Feeling any better?
Blair
I was able to get all that sleep you told me to get.
Me
Funny.
Blair
I thought so.
Me
You didn’t answer my question.
Blair
Two full days of sleep helped. I’m feeling much better.
Me
Good .
The more time I spend with Blair, the more I realize how good it feels to be around her.
I can’t explain it because I’m trying to wrap my head around it myself.
She has a way about her that can evoke a smile from even the grumpiest soul. She came into town and brought the sunshine with her even after everything she’s been through.
She still manages to smile through the pain.
Even the other night, with how sick she was, she still wore a smile on her face.
It’s only made keeping my tough exterior in place that much harder. She broke me down. She made me smile. I think she’s been doing it for a while now. I just haven’t been able to let it see the light of day.
I fought the good mood at work yesterday and today because I wanted to avoid questions from everyone. If she doesn’t feel the same, I don’t need people knowing and turning it into something it’s not.
Just as I’m about to leave to head home for the evening, Lily walks in.
“Oh good, you’re still here,” she says, shaking off the rain from her jacket. “It’s gross out there.”
“What brings you in? I was just heading home.”
“Perfect timing.” She beams, lifting a bag of treats in front of me. “Can you bring these to Blair? Since you’re going that way.”
I narrow my eyes. “Is this a trick?”
“Nope.” She shakes her head, chin held high.
“Why don’t I believe you?”
“You should. I’m your sister,” she scoffs. “Unless there’s something you’re not telling me, Griffy,” she says in an accusing tone.
“Don’t call me that.”
“You didn’t answer my question,” she says with her hands on her hips.
“You didn’t ask one. ”
She rolls her eyes and groans. “You’re so annoying.”
“I’m your brother. That’s my job.” I wink at her and feel the corner of my lips tip up in a grin.
Her eyes widen and lips part.
I quickly realize she just caught me feeling something other than miserable. I school my features, snatching the bag of baked goods from her hand and sidestepping her to leave.
“Oh no, you don’t,” Lily says from behind me. “You don’t just smile for the first time in years and not explain yourself.”
I stop, closing my eyes and lifting my head to the ceiling before turning to face her, unsure of what to say and definitely unable to hide any sort of expression from my face.
“Maybe it was just because I think you’re funny,” I lie.
“You never think I’m funny,” she says, her tone serious. “Is there something going on I should know about? This is kind of a big deal.”
“It’s really not, Lil. Please don’t make it into something it’s not. Yes, I smiled. Barely. No, I don’t want to talk about it because I don’t need the whole town knowing my business within the hour.”
“Is that what you think I would do?”
I shake my head, immediately feeling bad for accusing her of telling everyone about my business. I know she wouldn’t, but how can I even explain it when it’s not something I’m even sure of myself?
“I know you wouldn’t,” I tell her honestly.
“Is this about Blair?” She grins mischievously.
I remain silent, averting my gaze to the floor between us.
Lily smacks my arm, and I snap my head back up and meet her shocked features. “I knew it! I’ve been waiting for this moment,” she cheers.
“Like I said before, don’t make this into something it’s not. Do I like her? Sure. She’s growing on me. But we’ve both been through some shit. I have no doubt her guard is up just as much as mine is. I can’t let what happened before happen again. I will not jump into something unless I know she’s really staying. Unless she wants this.”
Lily’s smile softens. It feels weird to share this piece of me with someone. But this is my sister, and if there’s anyone I can trust, it’s her.
“I can’t speak for her future plans, but it sounds like she’s staying, Griffin,” Lily says. “But as you know, I’m someone who believes in gut feelings. If something is off, it’s off. If something feels right, it’s right. I understand the need to protect yourself here…” She pauses, swallowing as if emotions are getting the best of her, but she doesn’t want to show it. “I’ve grown to love Blair. I’ve never been so happy that someone landed in this town, of all places. It’s like she was meant to come here when she did. The universe always works in crazy ways.”
The universe always works in crazy ways .
And she’s right.
My tiny house sat vacant for a long time before Nan finally sold it for me. I didn’t expect the new owner to be an out-of-town city girl, but life put her in front of me when I least expected it.
And now I can’t get her out of my head.
“I’ll get these to her,” I tell Lily, and turn around to leave. Stopping before I walk out the door, I turn to face Lily again. “And keep this between us for now.”
She zips her lips shut with her fingers. “My lips are sealed.”
I nod and turn to leave.
I guess I’m going to Blair’s house to drop off these treats.
The rain has completely stopped in the short time it takes for me to leave the bar and turn onto my road. The sky is still ominous and filled with clouds, but it might hold off for a bit .
Maybe after I drop this off, I can spend some time at the ranch, go for a ride, and try to process some of these things I’ve been feeling.
Pulling into her driveway, I spot her car and park behind her. My nerves spike for an unknown reason. The more I think about her, the more unsure I am about being around her—I don’t want to screw this up before it’s even something to screw up.
I take a deep breath before I step onto her porch and tap on the glass. No response, not even from the dog. I turn around to double-check her car, just to be sure. It is indeed hers.
I run back to my vehicle and grab a piece of scrap paper from the glove compartment to leave her a note with the bag of treats from Lily.
I stopped by to drop these off from Lily. If you need anything, you know where to find me.
- Griffin
After leaving them on the small table she has set up, I jump back in my truck. Sitting there for a moment, my eyes stay fixed on her house.
Her home .
I allow my mind to wander to places they haven’t been in a long time—visions of the future dance around my head. Someone to come home to after a day at the bar, filling a home with laughter. I can’t remember the last time I sat and thought about where I saw myself in the future. I’m someone who takes everything one day at a time. I don’t think about yesterday—just today and what’s in store for tomorrow.
I shake my head because I need an open field to clear my head of this.
I reverse from her driveway, not bothering to stop at home, and head for the ranch. The minute I cross the entrance archway; I already feel at peace. I’ll never get over the feeling of this place, this area, this field.
I spend the next thirty minutes getting Storm ready to ride, ensuring the tack is secure before I mount him. Once I do, I lean down and offer him a pet on the side of his face, and then we take off out of the barn.
The skies don’t look promising, but I’ve been in worse weather.
I know I need this time, though.
The same thoughts I had sitting in Blair’s driveway come back. I find them eating me alive every time she’s in my head, which is more times than I can count.
Storm sets into a steady gallop through the field, sending us in the direction of the trail I always go down with him. I call it my trail. I found it by mistake and have never seen anyone else on it. It brings me just to the outskirts of town with a private view of the back end of Bluestone Lake.
I’ve come here so often that I’ve built benches for myself and a small fence for Storm to secure him when I need more time to sit with thoughts.
Today, my adrenaline is too high to sit.
I need to ride. And fast.
Everything about Blair is driving me wild.
I want that wild.
I want the freedom she has.
I want more with Blair; it scares me, and that fear holds me back. There’s this need inside of me wanting to know if she’s genuinely staying. The confirmation that this is her home forever and she won’t be running back to the city or her husband.
It sounds ridiculous, but I wouldn’t survive another heartbreak.
Can I make her stay?
No, that’s even crazier.
Storm picks up speed as if he’s sensing my mood, but my mind doesn’t stop spiraling .
I wonder if she feels the same way I’m feeling right now.
Is she holding back too?
I wouldn’t call this love, not this soon. But there’s chemistry there. Something is brewing in my gut, and the thought of anything with her makes my heart race at the speed of light.
I pull the reins on Storm, slowing us to a stop when we enter the open fields that lead us back toward the barn. My arms fall to my side as I close my eyes and lift my head to the sky.
“I need some guidance here. A sign. Anything that tells me what I should do,” I say to the sky, hoping the universe is listening to my plea.
Small raindrops land on my cheeks, and I open my eyes to see a wall of rain in the distance. That’s the fascinating thing about this open land and weather.
This overwhelming urge to go back to her house hits me.
She wasn’t home, but maybe she is now. Is that why I’m feeling this pull?
I nudge Storm forward in a slow trot to the barn before we get caught in the downpour headed our way.
I want…no, I need to know how she’s feeling about this, us, what’s happening here.
And there’s only one way to do that.
Something catches my eye off to the side and I have to do a double take to see, but a white car sits at the corner of the property. The same spot I once caught Blair sitting. A spot I know Lily told her about because it’s an ideal spot to catch the views of the sunset across the fields.
I pull Storm’s reins again to a stop, turning us to face her direction.
As soon as I stop, Blair exits the car.
I watch intently as she walks up to the wooden fence, resting both arms on top. I scan her from head to toe and notice she’s wearing a blue and white floral skirt, and a skintight white shirt tucked inside.
Fuck, she looks beautiful .
It takes me a moment to realize she’s also wearing a…cowgirl hat?
Tingles erupt all over my skin with the need to touch her, hold her, brand her, and make her mine.
I dismount my horse—right here in the middle of the open field.
Blair wedges her way between the horizontal posts of the fence and steps into the property. Standing there for a pause before taking slow steps in my direction.
She didn’t come here for the view today.
There’s no way, because it’s obstructed by clouds and rain.
I begin walking in her direction, and when I do, she picks up the pace into a slow jog toward me through the long grass. A smile stretched across her face as one hand holds her skirt up and the other keeping the hat in place on her head.
Now it’s my turn to smile.
She slows to a stop in front of me, but it doesn’t feel close enough.
Neither of us says anything.
Looking down at her hands, she fidgets with them as if she’s nervous about being here. Then she brings her bottom lip between her teeth as if she wants to say something. Anything.
I want those lips on mine.
I want her to breathe life into me.
“I came to say thank you for dropping off the treats from Lily,” she breaks the silence, finally meeting my gaze.
I nod.
My throat can’t even form words looking at her.
I’ve never known the feeling of someone taking your breath away. I always thought it was a corny saying people would use to describe a feeling they couldn’t put into words.
Standing here in front of Blair, I understand it now.
“You left me a note,” she continues. “You said if I needed anything, I would know where to find you.”
“You found me.” I grin .
“I, uh,” she starts, looking from me to the ground again. “I guess I just wanted to say thank you for the other night. In person. You know? Needed you to know that it was appreciated. And, uh…yeah,” she rambles.
My smile grows because she’s just as nervous as I am and it’s cute as shit.
“You came all the way out here to tell me that?” I ask.
She tightens her lips and puffs her cheeks out, looking around us. “Well, when you put it like that…” She takes a few steps back, hiking her thumb over her shoulder. “So, I’m going to head back now. Yeah. Thank you,” she says quickly before turning around.
Just as she starts a jog back toward her car, I stop her.
“Do you feel it too?” I shout.
She stops and turns to face me with her hands at her sides, tilting her head to the side in question. “The rain? Yeah, it feels like it’s going to pour any second.”
I look down at the tall grass, chuckling to myself before walking toward her, closing the space between us. She didn’t get far, but I need this confirmation.
She doesn’t move an inch.
She allows me to take over her space.
My reach up to cup the side of her face. Her eyes fall closed when I bring my other hand up, removing the hat from her head. I trail my eyes along every delicate feature of her face I’ve already memorized. The light freckles that line the apple of her cheek, and the barely noticeable dimple on the left side of her mouth when she smiles. Her soft pink lips part, and her long, thick lashes sweep up as she opens her eyes, silently pleading for me to kiss her.
“Do you feel this too?” I ask again.
She nods. A silent understanding that she knows exactly what I mean now.
My hand moves, letting my knuckles graze her jawline until I’m angling her head up to face me. I pause, giving her the chance to back away, but she doesn’t. So I lean down and press my lips to hers.
The world around me stops spinning as raindrops hit the back of my neck. I feel weightless; like I’m standing on a cloud.
Kissing Blair feels like coming back to life.
I close the gap between us, wrapping one hand around her body to pull her into me, needing to feel her close. My other hand drops the hat to the ground before I wrap it around the back of her head, tangling my fingers in her hair.
The rain only falls harder around us.
But she doesn’t push me away.
She moves her head to the side, opening up for me and allowing my tongue to dance with hers. Her arms fly around my neck while she presses up on her toes as if she can’t get close enough to me.
I never want this kiss to end.
I could die a happy man if this is the last taste on my lips.
But Blair pulls away, taking half a step back before her fingertips touch her swollen lips.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her, watching as she tries to determine what that was all about. “I…just?—”
She cuts me off by leaping back into my arms and crushing her lips to mine. She’s feral for this, the way I am with her. I’d give anything to take her back home, bring her to her room, and do this all night. But I won’t. I can’t.
She moans into my mouth, and I swear I lose it right there.
My hands grip her hips, hard, holding her body against mine, and I’m sure she feels what she’s doing to me with just this kiss.
I pull away. “Blair,” I say breathlessly. “The rain is really coming down.”
“Yes. The rain. Lots of it,” she pants.
A smile plays at my lips, because she’s so cute when she’s flustered.
“And there you go again,” she groans .
“What?”
“You smiled. And I really like when you smile. Which is a new development because you don’t do it enough. But now I want you to kiss me again because of it. But this weather is getting worse and I’m sure we’re both going to get sick now from the wet, cold clothes,” she rambles, and it only widens my smile.
My hand holds her face, urging her to look up at me. When she does, the rain blurs her vision, and she has to blink away the raindrops. I can’t help myself; I brush the wet strands out of her face.
“I’m glad you showed up today,” I tell her honestly.
“You are?”
I nod, using my thumb to wipe the rainwater from her cheek. “You’re driving me absolutely crazy, Blair. In a good way,” I assure her. “I can’t stop thinking about you. I can’t stop wondering what you’re doing. I want to be near you any chance I can. And most of all, I needed to feel your lips on mine to see if there was any part of you that was going just as crazy as I was.”
She stares at me, her breathing faster than before, and my stomach does a somersault when she doesn’t immediately answer. She brings her hands up, cupping both sides of my face, letting her thumb graze the scruff lining my jaw.
“You’ve been driving me crazy since I got here, Angry Cowboy.”
The biggest smile I’ve had in years stretches across my face with her words, and I lean in for another kiss. Her hands hold my face there, telling me she wants this as bad as I do. Her body trembles, and I realize we can’t stay out here forever.
I release the kiss reluctantly, but hover just over her lips.
“Let’s get you home and warmed up,” I say.
I drape an arm over her shoulders as I walk her back to her car, realizing we didn’t come here together, so I can’t actually take her home.
But I fucking want to .
I also want to tread lightly and not dive in too quickly.
“This is me,” she jokes as if I don’t know her car by heart now.
“Yeah, you have to get some better wheels for these roads.”
“I know, I just don’t have it in me yet to give up this baby,” she says, patting the hood of the car.
I offer her a smile. It comes on instinct with her now.
Blair has this power over me now that I can’t even help it.
She opens the door, getting in, and looking up at me before closing the door. With one hand on the hood of the car, and the other on the door, I say, “You know where to find me if you need me.”
“I guess I do, huh?” She lightly laughs.
With that, she pulls her car door shut. I step back and watch as the engine turns on and she backs it up out of the grass before driving away. I don’t take my eyes off the car or move from where I stand until it’s completely out of sight.
Everything just changed.
And later that night, for the first time in a long time, I fall asleep with a smile.