Chapter 38
CHAPTER 38
I’M NOT LEAVING.
Blair
I don’t take my eyes off Theodore’s car until it’s completely gone from my line of sight. Nan does the same and then retreats back to the barn as soon as he’s gone. I’m not even sure where she came from.
Only then do I turn to face Griffin.
The man who just stood up for me and protected me from the harsh words my ex-husband threw in my face. Words that aren’t even true because he was the one who hurt me. But there’s one thing I’ve learned in life…it’s that hurt people hurt people. Theodore is hurting from the fact I won’t take him back as easily as I probably would have in the past.
He didn’t expect me to stand up for myself.
But there’s never been a single second since our divorce where I thought of a future with him after everything.
Swallowing through the thickness in my throat, I stare at him. Unsure of what to say. I know there’s something here between us. Something big.
Is it love?
I’ve never known a feeling like being around Griffin.
Letting my feet move, I finally step toward him, eager to feel his arms around me and tell him everything I was trying to tell him before all of this.
But he heard me say the words to Theodore.
It’s time to say it to him.
“Blair,” he breathes out. My name on his lips like a painful whisper.
Emotions rise and I can’t hold back.
We stare at each other, silence stretching with each second that passes.
Only moments ago, I had so much to say. Now I can’t find a single word. Everything has died on my tongue.
“Blair,” he repeats, and I crumble. The tears in my eyes spill and I know with certainty he’s thinking the worst. I open my mouth to respond, but he holds up a hand to stop me. “You’re staying.”
I swipe a tear from the corner of my eye before it has a chance to cascade down my cheek, and then I shake my head.
His body visibly relaxes before me. His shoulders fall and he releases a breath, looking down at the dirt around his feet.
“I’m not leaving,” I finally say out loud. “I was never planning on leaving.”
“But—”
“Him showing up here wouldn’t be a reason for me to leave. He showed up because he wants me back. Except it’s for selfish reasons. And any reason he could try to give me wouldn’t ever be enough for the damage he’s already done. What he did doesn’t deserve a second chance.”
He stares at me, blinking twice before taking a tentative step into me.
I can tell he’s holding back despite my words.
His fears are all the same as I had. We’ve both been hurt so badly before that this whole thing is terrifying for us.
“I mean…look at how he just spoke to me. Why would I want to leave and go back to someone like that?”
“The way he…” He shakes his head. “I wanted to murder hi m for that, Blair. I was ready to kill him for saying those things to you.” He lifts a hand, brushing a stray tendril of hair behind my ear. “Are you okay?”
I nod, letting my body gravitate into him. Leaving a breath of air between us.
He doesn’t take his eyes off mine. It’s almost as if he’s trying to memorize me, or he’s waiting for me to vanish in thin air.
“Talk to me,” I urge.
His forehead falls to mine and his eyes flutter closed. He’s in pain. Not just from the physical blow he gave Theodore, but from this whole thing. It wasn’t what he had planned bringing me out here to ride Storm.
“I’m not leaving,” I repeat again against his lips, sensing that he needs that confirmation.
“Blair,” he breathes out my name and closes all the space between us, wrapping his arms around my neck and holding me to his chest. As if he needed to touch me. Feel me.
“I don’t know what made you believe this was temporary for me,” I say against his shirt. “But I bought the house. I have no intention of leaving unless…”
He pulls back at the pause of my words. His eyes laser focused on mine as if to assess the next words out of my mouth.
A lopsided grin stretches my face. “Unless my grumpy next-door neighbor hated me so much that he wanted to run me out of town. A girl can’t live like that forever,” I joke with a laugh. It’s light, but just enough that he pulls my body back into his.
He holds me. Tightly as if to say, “ I’m never letting you go. ”
But he still says nothing, only tightening the hold. A heartbeat passes before his head falls onto my shoulder, pressing his lips to it.
“There’s no way he ever loved you as much as I do right now,” he whispers.
My head rears back, eyes widening at his admission. Suddenly feeling lightheaded, as my heart hammers in my ribcage. Did Griffin Barlow just? —
“Or tomorrow,” he adds with a shrug.
“You w-what?”
“I love you, Blair,” he repeats, bringing himself eye level with me. “I love you and I’m no longer afraid to tell you. My mind is set on you . I wanted to tell you back at the ranch. Truthfully, I think I’ve wanted to tell you for a while now.”
My lips part on their own, while my mind spins with the words he says. I have to remove my eyes from his boring into mine because both of us have been through hell and back in our past relationships. The word has been ringing in my ear myself, but I’ve been too guarded to let myself say it again.
Griffin brings his hand to rest under my chin, urging me to look at him. “I want to fight for you on all the worst days. I want to laugh with you on all your best days. I want to dance in the kitchen with you when there’s no music playing and see the stars with you in the bed of my truck any chance we get. But most of all…” He pauses, swallowing past the emotions. “I don’t ever want to give you a reason to need to give me a second chance.”
I blink, and the dam behind my eyes breaks. Moisture gathers in the corners and I’m ready to break down completely in front of this man.
“I know the timing isn’t right to say this after everything?—”
“I love you too,” I cut him off, hands coming to cup both sides of his face. “I didn’t move here to find this. I came to Bluestone Lakes to find myself because I felt like I kept losing pieces of who I was deep down throughout my past. Tiny pieces being chipped away day by day,” I say, shaking my head as if to remove the memory. “You were the most unexpected thing to happen, because, in the process of finding myself, I ended up finding home. In this town, and most importantly, in you.”
He pulls me back into him before the final word leaves my lips.
My vision becomes hazy as the tears build up more and more .
“Never did I believe that the dreams I once had to build a life…build a home…with someone would be on the table again for me,” he breathes out against my hair. “I put that dream in the past, buried it with the memories of things out of reach.”
It’s more real now than ever before.
Pulling out of his hold, he eyes me in confusion. I stare up at him, blinking and bringing my bottom lip between my teeth while I silently beg him to seal the deal.
His eyebrows pinch in confusion.
“Are you going to kiss me or not, cowboy?”
The smile on his lips tells me that’s not what he was expecting. His hand grips my hips while his other reaches to cup the side of my jaw, allowing his thumb to caress the apple of my cheek. My head melts into his light touch.
“You should know by now, I’ll give you whatever you want, sweetheart.”
“Then you better kiss me,” I say quickly.
His lips crash into mine with a searing kiss. Sealing the words we just spoke moments ago as the final piece to make everything real.
My hands grip his flannel, pulling him into me before they wrap around his neck and tangle in his already messy hair. Reaching up on my toes, he moves to lift me and I wrap my legs around him in a tight hold, not once releasing the kiss.
This kiss is messy.
This kiss is wild.
This kiss is free.
It’s as free and wild as I want the future to be for us.
Panting against my skin, he sets me down on my feet. Griffin looks down at me, and I swear I stop breathing. A feeling I will never get used to looking at him, or the way he’s looking at me. But something pulls his attention from the corner of his eyes. We both turn to find Nan standing outside of the barn. When she notices us looking, she starts clapping .
We both fall into a fit of laughter as he intertwines his hand in mine, guiding me to where Nan stands by the barn. His hand feels like it was made to fit mine and I want to stay in this happy bubble.
“Now if this isn’t the picture of love,” she coos.
Griffin’s hold on my hand tightens, looking down at me and smiling from ear to ear. I don’t think I will ever get used to that either.
“How long have you been here?” I ask her.
“Long enough to hear both of you screaming at each other before that twatwaffle started screaming at you,” she scoffs.
“Huh?”
She rolls her eyes and groans. “Don’t make me repeat what I heard, Blair. I thought those things were just stuff I’ve read in my romance novels, but Griffin here…” She points a finger in his direction. “Have you been reading my books?”
He holds a hand up in defense. “Not me.”
Then it dawns on me…she’s talking about hearing us in the barn before everything just happened. I feel my cheeks burn, no doubt turning crimson red with embarrassment. Bringing my lips between my teeth, I hide behind Griffin’s shoulder to avoid eye contact with Nan altogether.
“Nan,” he warns.
“All in good fun, kids.” She laughs. “But in all seriousness, the two of you standing in front of me has never made me happier.” I emerge from behind him, letting myself look at the woman who first greeted me when I moved here. She makes her way to stand in front of me, placing a hand on my shoulder. “I knew from the moment I met you that this place would change your life. You had this hesitation about you, but I knew you would open up here. I knew that tiny home on Barlow Drive would be the key to do so.”
“Did you plan all of this?” I ask.
She shakes her head, her smile only growing. “Never in life would I do that.” She winks. “But I know this grumpy man enough to know that he needed a twist in his quiet life. He needed someone like you to shake it up a bit.”
“You’re an evil woman,” Griffin draws out, shaking his head in disbelief.
Nan simply shrugs. “I’m not evil, I’m just smart.”
Facing Griffin, I look up at him with literal hearts in my eyes. If that’s even a thing. The man who’s flipped my world upside down. I wrap my arms around his waist, and his hands find mine on his stomach.
He leans down and kisses me again.
Out in the open in front of other people. Well, in front of Nan.
I want nothing more than his lips to be the first thing I feel when I wake up and the last thing before I fall asleep at night.
“Let’s go home,” he says against my lips before pressing one more quick kiss to the corner of my mouth.
I nod, locking my hands in his as he guides me out of the barn.
“Anyone want to drive me back?” Nan asks behind us.
I reach into the pocket of my jeans, pulling out my slim key fob for the Mercedes-Benz, and tossing it to her. She catches them even though she’s caught off guard.
“You can borrow that,” I say. “But take care of her.”
“Oh, it’s time for some donuts.” She beams, fist in the air.
“Whoa, whoa,” I say, trying to stop her.
“Relax, Bubbly Blair. I’m talking about the kind you eat.” She winks and scurries past us, jogging as fast as her legs can take her to my car. Opening the door, giving us an exaggerated wave before she peels off toward town.
“She will always be the most interesting character in Bluestone Lakes,” Griffin says, dumbfounded, as he guides me toward his truck.
“I was thinking the same thing,” I say as I jump into his passenger seat while he gets into the driver's seat.
With one more glance in my direction, he looks over at me. My chest warms and I feel like I can breathe again. There’s a comfort in his stare that tells me moving here was the best decision of my life.
“Take me home, Griffin.”
He nods in response and puts the truck in drive.