3. Harper
Harper
By some miracle, I make it through the first leg of my journey without my seatmate asking any questions or crying hysterically like a loon.
After a short layover in Denver, I board my second and final flight that will take me to Portland.
It has been a long and lonely day of travel, giving me way too much time to think and replay how my life had gone to complete shit overnight.
As my thoughts begin to spiral, and anxiety and grief start to clog my throat, I give myself a mental shake down.
This perpetual rehashing of what happened is doing me no good.
Pulling out my laptop, I open the spreadsheet I’ve been working on.
Realizing I’m on my own for the first time, I sat down and made a list of the funds in my bank account, and what I thought I would need to start over in Oregon.
The orderly task is calming and gives me a sense of control over something, when everything else is swirling around me like a tempest.
My cousin, Cassidy, who everyone except her mom calls Cass, told me I could crash with her as long as I wanted, but I don’t want to impose.
She lives with a roommate, Quinn, and their place is only two bedrooms with a tiny den, which will be my room.
There is no way they’ll still feel that way in eight months when I bring home a screaming baby.
After reviewing my numbers, I fire up Google and start looking at apartments.
I may have been a stupid naive princess when I met Curtis, but naivete was a luxury I could no longer afford.
It was time for me to focus on the future and be the best mom to the little peanut inside me that I could be.
I would make damn sure my child never wondered if they were loved.
They would never feel like they were only here to further their parents’ good image.
No. Things would be different for my child.
Thanks to Mrs. Jones's parting gift—cough, cough, payoff—to make me disappear, I had enough to cover rent for a good while, until I found a job, at least. Then hopefully, the rest could be set aside for raising my kid.
I’m so engrossed in my research and information gathering that time flies by, and before I know it, the fasten seatbelt signs are on as we’re making our final descent.
As soon as I step off the plane, I spot Cass.
She’s holding a big sign with my name on it.
Her riotous hair, all tight curls and wildness that never could be contained, is tied back with a scarf, in an attempt to wrangle it into submission.
Auburn springy curls frame her face, bouncing as she hops up and down to get my attention.
As if I could miss her! Aw, I love that dork.
I rush into her waiting arms, gripping her hard.
She envelops me, pulling in tight, and I melt into her warm embrace.
The tears I had been working so hard to control break loose, and I ugly cry in Cass’s arms. Being “that girl” in Oregon instead of Maine, go me.
People are staring, but she doesn’t miss a beat, just holds me tight.
When the tears slow, she gently cups my face, lifting it so we are looking at each other.
“You. Can. Do. This.” She nods with conviction before continuing, “Take it from the wayward black sheep of the family. Everything will work out, and once you get your legs back under you, you will see you are much better off.”
Cass is five years older than me. We grew up seeing each other all the time.
Our moms are sisters who spent all their time together.
As soon as she graduated, she said screw the rules and patriarchy of our family and took off.
She bounced around for a few years, eventually landing in Portland after she graduated from college.
We kept in touch over the years through social media.
She never visits but has calls with her mom once a month to catch up.
According to Aunt Kay, she barely shares anything about her life and finds any excuse to miss the call.
Looping her arm around my shoulder, Cass guides me toward baggage claim.
As we approach, I spot her roommate Quinn waiting for us.
I hadn’t even known she was here but probably should have.
If their social media accounts are at all accurate representations of their lives, they are joined at the hip and rarely apart for any length of time.
“Harper, this is Quinn. Quinn, this is Harper!” Cass chirps merrily. I’ve said hi to Quinn a few times over phone calls, but it’s our first official introduction.
“Nice to finally meet you, Harper. Cass has told me so much about you!” Her wide smile is completely genuine.
I’ve seen pictures of Quinn, of course, but they did not do her justice.
She is gorgeous. Her long brown hair frames her slightly oval face, drawing your attention to her hazel eyes, and the most stunning dark lashes I have ever seen.
A dusting of freckles dots the bridge of her nose and cheeks that just enhance her beauty.
She’s a few inches taller than Cass, who is short like me, but what hits me the most is the natural warmth and calm she carries with her, setting me at ease.
“Oh, yeah. My mom was on a roll over your 'unfortunate predicament.'" Cass does a banger of an impersonation of my aunt, and I laugh for the first time in far too long.
Rolling my eyes, I huff out a breath. “Oh, I’m sure. She and my mom discussed at length my many faults in this debacle, and they got more over the top with each bottle of wine they consumed. It was really quite impressive what they put away.”
I spot my bags, Quinn and Cass insisting they pull them off the belt, stating I shouldn’t be lifting in my condition.
We step out of the airport and I get my first look at Portland.
I gasp at the sight of snowcapped mountains in the distance, so pretty and the perfect greeting.
Placing a protective hand over my belly, I breathe in the air, embracing my new home.
Quinn walks a few steps ahead, giving Cass and me time to talk as we make our way to the parking structure.
“Now, Mom only gave me the bare minimum of details, and no names, which is odd. I mean, that woman loves nothing more than to spill the tea, so I figured whoever knocked you up must be pretty bad.”
“Cass!” Quinn admonishes.
“What? He either is married, or of an undesirable socioeconomic class, therefore so far beneath them she can’t speak his name,” Cass declares in a haughty impression of her mother.
Quinn rolls her eyes but doesn’t say anything else.
“Wrong on both accounts. He’s from an influential family, not married, but I heard a rumor that his engagement to some socialite will be announced soon, so I might as well have been a mistress.
It was Curtis Jones,” I toss out, going for flippant, but it actually sounds mopey and pathetic.
“Of fucking course, it was! Does he still fight wearing a condom at all costs?” I’m dumbfounded by her response.
Sputtering, I trip over my words, trying to form a coherent string of them.
“Oh, don’t look at me like that! Sleeping with Curtis is like a rite of passage. That boy must have baby mommas all along the eastern seaboard by now.” Cass laughs.
I grimace at the reminder of what an idiot I was.
“Look, Harper, he’s one hell of a smooth talker, and was gone to school long enough, so a lot of his notoriety has likely quieted. That and his daddy probably paid everyone off.”
“My bet is on mommy dearest doing the paying, or at least, it was her in my case. Can’t have the mayor getting his hands dirty with a little tramp like me.”
“Did that bitch say that to you?” Cass seethes.
“Cass,” Quinn calls, “before you blow a gasket, why don’t we get in the car? I want to beat the traffic jam on the highway, so we need to shake a leg.” Her tone is soft, yet firm, and somehow brings Cass off her ledge of rage.
We pile into her Subaru, which luckily is big enough for all my luggage. Once Quinn navigates her way out of the airport, Cass gives me her full attention.
“Spill, what did that old hag say to you?”
“She summoned me to their house. When I got there, she was sitting with their lawyer. First, she offered to pay for an abortion. When I refused, again, she handed me paperwork that signed away Curtis’s parental rights and obligations, along with a contract stipulating I would never tell anyone his involvement in the creation of the offspring.
Yes, she said ‘offspring.’ Like an idiot, I told her Curtis wouldn’t approve of this; once he was over the shock, he would want us to be together as a family. ”
Cass gives me the saddest look, so full of pity it makes my face flame with embarrassment at my cluelessness.
“Yeah, yeah, I know, I’m a moron,” I deadpan.
“Any who. She called him in, and Cass, it was insane. He was a totally different person. Gone were the sweet smiles and whispered promises. He sneered at me and said he wanted nothing to do with me or any child that I claimed was his. In the end, I took the settlement. Mom said if I kept the baby, I had to leave town. And, well, you know the rest.” My voice no longer wobbles when I say the words.
Instead, they are laced with resignation. So, progress, I guess…
“Well, fuck them!” Cass says vehemently.
“Hear, hear!” shouts Quinn.
I smile sadly, grateful for their support but weighed down by the rejection of my family back home. The future isn’t going to be easy, but at least I’m not completely alone.