22. Harper
Harper
Feeling groggy as hell, I peel myself out of bed.
Jace isn’t there, and I have a little pang of worry that he might have left.
Then I hear the TV and Lizzie’s laughter from the living room, and I already know I was crazy to even wonder, of course Jace is still here.
Hurriedly, I grab the first things in my drawers, black yoga pants, and a cropped sweatshirt, throwing them on, not even bothering with under clothes.
Quietly, I open my bedroom door, and fresh tears blur my vision.
Jace and Lizzie dance hand in hand. Every few seconds, he lets go with one hand and spins Lizzie.
Each time, her head falls back and she giggles, staring up at him like he hung the moon.
My heart clenches, cause I’m pretty sure that’s the same look I have on my face right now.
God, please, don’t let this all blow up in my face.
I’m spotted a few seconds later. Jace’s wide smile softens when he sees me, and hope surges through me at the depth of feeling I see reflected in his eyes.
“Did someone start a dance party without me?” I call, Lizzie hops up and down before racing to me, her bare feet smacking on the wood beneath them.
A sound I’ve heard a million times but brings so much joy in this moment as I reflect on how empty the house would be without it.
Swinging her into my arms, I kiss her cheeks repeatedly until she squeals and returns the kisses, leaving my cheeks wet and hurting from smiling so hard.
Holding my baby grounds me a bit, and I’m finally able to raise my face to Jace.
His eyes search mine, and apparently, he is happy with what he sees because he smiles, gives me a curt nod, then heads into the kitchen.
I can hear him getting a plate out and am about to follow him when my face is struck with a hair whip.
Lizzie cracks up at my shocked reaction, then whips her head again, making the ponytail swing all over.
That’s when I finally notice that her hair is up, and not down like I left it last night.
Lizzie catches me looking at it and pats her head smiling.
“I did my best.” Jace is in the doorway to the kitchen with a coffee in one hand and a plate of pastries in the other. He looks so sheepish, and his cheeks go pink beneath all the scruff as he sets the plate on the table.
A lump is firmly lodged in my throat. I swallow hard, blinking away the tears in my eyes.
Lizzie squirms out of my hold, running back to her toys on the rug.
I watch her as Jace comes up behind me, encircling my waist with his hands.
I lean back into his large warm frame, letting him take my weight.
“Come on, it’s not that bad, is it?” His words are soft, but I can hear the laughter in it. Tilting my head back to look at him, I pop up on my toes and steal a kiss.
“I can’t thank you enough, Jace.” He squeezes me, and I know I don’t need to say anything else. We stand wrapped up in each other for another minute, watching Lizzie before he steers me to the table.
“Bree’s been by, huh?” I smile as I recognize all my favorites on the plate.
“She dropped them off earlier, saying she would stop by later this morning.” Jace kisses the side of my head as he sits beside me with his leg pressed against mine.
For so many years, I have received little to no physical touch like this, and I could definitely get used to it.
It’s like he has opened the flood gates to needs that I buried so deep I’d forgotten I had them.
I find myself craving more of his touch and the way it calms my nerves, recharging me.
“Bree should be here soon, and as much as I don’t want to leave, I need to change my clothes and feed Tink.”
“Go, you have done so much for us. Go take care of you.” I give him a playful push, then follow him to the door.
He stops in the open doorway, calling Tink who is seated next to Lizzie.
Lingering in the door, he watches Lizzie for a second before turning his full attention to me.
His piercing blue eyes are suddenly full of heat.
He pulls me through the doorway and out of sight of Lizzie, then kisses me.
I surrender to it, to the kiss, his touch, him.
I’m lifted off my feet, and I wrap my legs around him, squeezing him close.
Bracing me with one hand, the other snakes up the back of my sweatshirt.
I know the second he realizes I’m not wearing a bra.
His hand freezes and he groans into my mouth.
“Want to know a secret?” I speak against his lips, between delicious kisses.
“I’m not wearing anything under my leggings either.
” He growls, pinning me to the house, and I grind against him as his hand finds my breast. I’m on fire, seconds from begging, legit begging him to come back inside, when I hear a cough behind him.
“Should I come back later?” Bree’s voice is full of laughter.
We untangle from each other, both breathing hard. “I’ll call you later, babe.” Jace gives me a quick kiss then bounds down the stairs and to his truck, sending a wave at Bree.
“Here I was worried you might need extra company today,” she quips as Jace pulls out of the drive. “But it appears you were in good hands.”
“Your timing is flawless, as always, bestie.” I grin, throwing my arm over her shoulders and steering her toward the house.
I take the rest of the week off work and keep Lizzie home with me.
Just the thought of her being out of my line of sight sends waves of panic through my system.
Jace has been so attentive, calling and texting throughout the day, making sure we have everything we need.
Lizzie is over being shut in. She has packed her backpack and gone to the door the last two mornings.
With more than a little trepidation, I write on the calendar school under Monday and show her.
It seems to appease her. If I’m being honest, I know we both need to get out of the house, and I need to let her be with someone beside me for an evening.
Jace hasn’t mentioned our date that we had planned for tomorrow.
He likely thinks I won’t go. Based on the last week, I can’t blame him, but this morning, I woke up knowing both Lizzie and I need to move on.
I scheduled a call with my therapist and talked through everything.
The anxiety is far from gone, but I’m accepting that, and choosing to live in spite of it.
First step, going on a date tomorrow. Picking up my phone, I stare at Jace’s name, debating whether to call or text when I hear a knock at the door, followed by a happy yip.
“T, T,” Lizzie screams her version of Tink, racing to the door. I help her with the upper lock then step back so she can open the door.
“Hey, munchkin! How are you?” Jace is squatting down to let Lizzie rub his face. She’s obsessed with the feel of his stubble. My heart feels like it could burst watching them interact. He’s so natural with her, and she adores him, and of course, Tink is always the star.
“And how are you?” he asks, standing in front of me.
“I’m good. Want to come in?” I motion behind me and he follows. “I must have manifested you this morning,” I call over my shoulder, leading us to the sunroom. It’s a bit chilly but I want a little privacy with him. “I had just picked up my phone to call you.”
“For good reasons, I hope.” His sly smile has me squirming. Yep, I need some alone time with this man. Stat!
Before I can lose my nerve, I turn to him, stepping close but not touching. “Are we still on for our date tomorrow?”
His eyebrows shoot up, shock flickering through his eyes, quickly followed by hope then brighten with happiness.
“Really? I mean, yes. Of course. If you are up for it, I would love that, Harper. Really? You sure? Cause we can stay here if you want.” I have never seen him flustered like this.
Usually, it’s me that word vomits, and something about seeing him do it turns me on and solidifies that, yes, I want this.
Cupping his face, I kiss him, pulling back, and speaking against his lips. “Yes, please.”
“So polite! How could I say no to that?” He picks me up and spins me in a circle. Small dimples form on his cheeks from the smile that splits across his face.
“I know it’s last minute now, but we don’t have to do anything special.”
“Harper, I have been planning this date since the first time I asked you out. Just need to make a couple calls, but this is happening, babe.” He kisses me again, then abruptly pulls away.
“You distracted me. There is a reason I stopped by, although it worked out better than I could have hoped. I have a gift for you and Lizzie. Before I show her, I want to make sure it’s okay with you.
” He pulls a small mesh bag from his jacket pocket.
It’s tied with a lavender ribbon, and it looks so small and dainty in his large, calloused hands, but he handles it with such care.
From inside, he pulls out a necklace with a Sofia charm on it.
“Jace, it’s adorable. Lizzie will love it!” Smiling, I take the necklace, noting another piece behind the charm.
“It’s not just a necklace. It’s an air tag.
And the necklace is specially made to be hard to remove.
As long as Lizzie is wearing it, you can see exactly where she is.
I took it all over town, and to the orchard.
There was a signal, and I was able to track the movements everywhere I went.
There are some limitations, but…” His voice cracks, and I can’t hold back my tears any longer.
“Harper, I get if you don’t want to use it.
But Monday was the most terrifying day of my life, and I can’t begin to imagine how you felt.
I never want you to go through that again; I never want to experience that again. ”
“It’s perfect, Jace. I can't believe you did this. When did you have time to do it?” still clutching the necklace, I stare at this man that waltzed into my life so unexpectedly and turned everything upside down.
“I ordered it Tuesday morning before you even woke up.” Suddenly, all the broken pieces of my heart feel like they are knitting back together. I love this man. The realization hits me like a freight train, scaring the shit out of me while lighting me up with hope at the same time.
I tell Jace to give it to Lizzie himself, and just as I anticipated, my girl loses her mind over the new piece of jewelry, insisting that she wear it right then.
Jace gets it set up on my phone and helps me add the other people linked to the device.
Raising a non-speaking child with special needs is scary on so many levels, but somehow, he has found yet another way to give me peace of mind.