33. Harper
Harper
A weight settles firmly on my shoulders hearing his voice.
Heading into The Toasted Bean, I felt happier than I could ever remember.
For the first time, all the anxiety and feelings of being not enough were quiet in my head.
I marvel how Jace fits so perfectly into our life, and how in such a short time, he has become my safe harbor.
Happiness fills me, and instead of being scared, I embrace it.
I thought for sure my eyes were playing tricks on me when I spotted that mop of sandy blonde hair.
That I was self-sabotaging, finding something to hamper the good feelings that were flooding through my system.
His face was turned away from me, but it was there, that flicker of familiarity.
When he walked in the opposite direction, his gait, the swagger he’s always had, sealed the deal.
Curtis is in Juniper Falls, and suddenly, I remember why I can’t be happy.
Jace chased me through town. I vaguely remember him calling my name, but nothing could penetrate the roaring in my ears.
My heart beating wildly in my chest, each beat pulsing in my ears, its reverberation deafening.
I thought wondering if it was him was bad, but it doesn’t hold a candle to actually seeing him, hearing his voice.
“What are you doing here?” I croak out. His brown eyes turn to ice, going dark, almost black for just a second, before he masks it with a too bright smile that never reaches his eyes. I feel like I’m back in his car, nineteen, sobbing as I confess that I think I’m pregnant.
Flipping his hair like he’s in some teen heartthrob movie, he licks his lips, stepping close and crowding my space. Jace, who I almost forgot was there as I was too tunnel visioned and spiraling, shifts his body so he’s slightly between Curtis and me.
Curtis sneers at him for a second, then his attention returns to me, like a dismissal, as if Jace is nothing more than a gnat, a nuisance in the background.
“Is that anyway to talk to an old friend?” Jace stiffens at his tone, greasy and dripping with insinuation.
“Can’t an old friend pop in to see the mother of his child?
Speaking of which, where is my daughter? ”
“Fuck you,” I seethe, “she’s not your daughter.
You lost that right, actually, no, you signed away that right long ago, so stay the hell away from her!
” He eyes me like I’m some whiny bratty child making a scene.
Huffing a huge dramatic sigh like I’m fucking bothersome, he rolls his eyes, then from the messenger bag at his hip he pulls out a large white folder, flipping it open.
“Elizabeth Quinn Murphy, goes by Lizzie, cute.” He fixes me with a fake smile that grates at my every nerve.
A picture of her playing at daycare is clipped to the inside of the folder, and it feels like the earth shifts, like I’m free falling.
Jace clutches my arm and sets his other hand around my waist, my legs no longer able to support me.
Blinking slowly and peeling my eyes from the photo, I stare at Curtis's face. His smile is cruel and cold.
“Tsk, tsk, Harper. I see you haven’t changed.
Still emotionally unstable, and from the looks of it still falling on your back for any man that pretends to give a shit about you.
” His words barely permeate the fog engulfing me.
Why does he have a picture of her? Why is he here?
What the actual fuck is happening? Jace has gone rigid beside me, but lunges for Curtis at that final line.
“You fucking bastard,” Jace growls and I barely stop him before he plows into Curtis. I have never seen Jace so angry.
“Jace, stop!” I scream, and somehow, I’m able to keep him from touching Curtis, who no doubt would have him arrested in an instant. “Go fuck yourself, Curtis. Give me that picture and disappear.”
“Yeah, that’s not happening. See, I was under duress and coerced into signing away my ‘rights,’” the fucker uses air quotes, “to the child.” He hands me a stack of papers, the letterhead from the same law firm that the Voluntary Termination of Parental Rights form had come from.
“What the fuck is that?” Jace growls, and I turn so he can see it, too.
“No, no.” I can’t get enough air, my lungs won’t work, I’m suffocating. Reading and rereading…
PETITION TO REINSTATE PARENTAL RIGHTS
Filed by: Curtis Jeremiah Jones
Biological Father…
“No judge will agree to this.” Jace’s voice is like ice and his finger jams into the document.
“That’s where you underestimated me. You see, my PI did a great job helping prepare my case. Let’s see, losing her in an orchard, cohabitating, not an appropriate role model, no family support, isolated, no financial stability.” He ticks each item off on his fingers.
“Curtis…” I hate the tears in my voice, hate that he can see he’s getting to me, but my pride doesn’t matter; I only care about Lizzie, and I will do anything for her. Even beg this limp dicked twat. “Please. Please, don’t do this. I’m begging you.”
His laugh is harsh and cruel. “There she is. I’ll admit, you still look good when you beg.
Maybe try it on your knees this time and see if you can convince me.
” This time, Jace has to hold me back. I go after Curtis in a blind rage.
Jace has to lift me off my feet and carry me back to keep me from clawing Curtis’s eyes out.
“Bye for now, Harper. Tell Lizzie that Daddy can’t wait to take her home.
" With that bomb dropped, he saunters off with his hands in his pockets like he’s out for a leisurely stroll and didn’t just destroy my whole fucking world.
“Oh, God, Lizzie!” I grab my phone but drop it, my hands shaking.
“Blake,” Jace barks into his own phone, “you still at Toasted Bean? Good, tell Bree to get Lizzie into the backroom now. Guard that door, Lizzie’s dad just threatened to take her.
” His voice sounds distant, garbled, like I’m hearing it from underwater.
I feel like I’m drowning, like the air is being pulled from my lungs.
NO! Spinning out of Jace's grip, I make it two steps before emptying my stomach onto the street.
I should have known better than to think I could have a happy ending.
The universe is cruel, taunting me with fairy tales and happily ever afters, letting me believe they were finally within my grasp, only to rip them away. I fucking know better.
Curtis didn’t show up at Toasted Bean that day.
Bree and Blake had already cleared the cafe and barred the doors when we made it back.
My heart squeezes at the memory of how they stood sentry, ready to defend not just Lizzie but me.
I sat in Bree’s office, clutching Lizzie to me as I gasped for air.
Jace brought us home, but I barely remember the drive or coming into the house.
It’s been, honestly, I have no clue how long it’s been.
I’m too distraught and frozen in terror on the couch, completely unable to think.
Lizzie ate a snack and drank the hot chocolate that Bree sent with us.
Now, she’s napping in her room with Tink at the foot of her bed.
She hasn’t left her side since I ran after Curtis, like she knows the mission, and Lizzie is hers to protect.
Jace took control as soon as we stepped through the door, bless him.
I haven’t spoken or moved from the couch.
I know I need to, but my limbs won’t cooperate, and my head is spinning.
The couch cushion beside me dips under Jace’s weight, shifting me closer to him, like it knows I need to feel him, to pull from his strength.
His warm presence at my side settles the roaring in my ears.
My hair is smoothed from my face and tucked behind my ear.
The gentleness of his touch envelops me.
“One minute,” I croak. “Hold me, for just one minute, then we need to make a plan.”
His arms come around me, and the band constricting my chest loosens slightly. “Jace,” I breathe into him. “Tell me he can’t do this. That he can’t take her from me. I can’t live without her.”
“Shhhh.” His hands run over my hair, soothing me, coaxing another breath from me. “We are not going to let that happen, Harper. I won’t let that happen.” I choose to believe him.
A minute passes, then another, and finally, I force myself to sit back. Piecing myself together like a broken glass, bit by bit, until I can at least appear less broken.
“Game plan time,” I say, clapping my hands together. “I think I should call Justin and get some legal advice. Not sure if he knows much about this sort of thing, but surely, he can point me to a good attorney. I’m not letting Curtis ruin things for us.”
“I think that’s a solid plan. Why don’t you call him now, and Shaina after, so she doesn’t find out through the rumor mill, huh?
I’m going to check in with Blake.” He stands and moves to the front porch.
I trail behind him, his truck is in the driveway, and our perfect Christmas tree is still in the bed, taunting me for thinking I could have it all.
Before my thoughts can spiral further, I call Justin. He answers on the second ring. “Harper, long time no see. How’s Juniper Falls these days?”
“I need your help.” I know it is rude to just jump in like this, but it’s an effort just to get the words out. Justin flips into lawyer mode, and within minutes, he has his assistant booking the next flight out, all the while asking me questions and listing out what he needs from me.
“Hey.” I step outside after my call with Justin to see what Jace is up to.
He’s standing with his back to me, his forearms resting on the truck, starting at the tree.
He straightens when I approach, his face drawn, eyes sad, the only indication of the storm raging inside, but it’s enough.
I realize suddenly, he’s become so familiar to me that I can see the most subtle changes in him. It’s oddly comforting.
I step into his open arms before resting my head on his chest, and I inhale deeply.
A therapist once told me when you feel overwhelmed, use your five senses.
Find something you can see, hear, touch, smell, and taste.
Breathing deeply again, I draw the smell of Jace's cologne into my lungs, along with the smell of pine needles. His heartbeat is a steady thumping by my ear, and the feel of his flannel jacket on my cheek is slightly scratchy, but warm and comforting. Okay, that’s three. Just sight and taste.
Leaning back, I find his eyes, the blue like the early morning sky, darker at the center then gets lighter.
Finally, taste, my gaze dips to his lips as a sad smile tugs on my own.
Just following the doctor's orders. Surging onto my toes, my lips find his and tease the seam with my tongue.
When he opens for me, the taste of the hot chocolate he was drinking fills my mouth, along with the hint of whiskey he dumped in it after we got home.
The kiss ends, but I keep my forehead pressed to his, reluctant to sever the physical contact. “Hey, yourself. How was your call with Justin?” We make our way to the house as I fill him in.
“Unfortunately, without seeing the documents, he wasn’t able to give me much. It’s also not his area of expertise, so he asked me to scan and send the paperwork from Curtis to him so he can have a family attorney look it over as well. Now, we have to wait.”
Jace nods but doesn’t speak. I take a couple of steps away and grip my hair in frustration.
“Fuck, Jace, this is killing me. I feel like I need to be doing something, anything. He can’t just waltz into my town and ruin everything.
Wait? How can I just sit around while he compiles a file against me, plotting to take her?
” My voice is rising with each word, and each breath is labored.
Jace comes to me, pulling me into his sturdy frame once again. “Shh, babe, I’ve got you,” he murmurs into my hair. “We will figure it all out.”
“Why is he doing this? I don’t get it. Five years, five fucking years with no contact, and suddenly, he wants to be her dad?”
“I don’t know, but I intend to find out.”
“How?”
“Well, like you, I can’t stand just waiting around. I made some calls myself, and we will see what comes of them.”
“To who? For what?” My mind is whirring, needing to know more, desperate to find a straw to grasp right now.
“Harper, I shouldn’t have said anything. I don’t want to get your hopes up,” Jace hedges. It’s on the tip of my tongue to pry when Tink and Lizzie appear in the doorway.
“Tee, Tee!” Lizzie screams, pointing at the tree.
I turn to the truck and stare at my symbol of hope and plans for the future. Part of me wants to throw a match on it and walk away. As if reading my thoughts, Jace whispers in my ear so Lizzie can’t hear.
“Don’t let the bastard win, don’t let him steal your joy, Harper.
” Kissing me on the cheek, he picks Lizzie up and swings her in a circle.
Dammit, he’s right. I’m not in a festive mood.
If anything, I’m on the verge of having a heart attack, but I won’t let Curtis take anything from my baby, and that means pushing through.
Squaring my shoulders, I follow them into the house.
In the end, we set the tree up but decided to wait to decorate until after we meet with Justin tomorrow. I want to make a day of it, and it’s almost dinner time. I refuse to let Curtis dictate this.
After dinner and bath time, Lizzie is on my lap, searching through a look-and-find book.
My phone pings from the side table. “Babe, can you check that? I don’t want to miss anything from Justin.
” Jace’s posture is all wrong as he looks at it.
He’s tense, and the hand gripping my phone is so tight it shakes.
“What is it?” Dread fills me. What else could go wrong today? I’m tempted to ignore whatever it is, not sure I can take anything else.
Unknown
Hi Harper, it’s Curtis. Your mom gave me your number. She sure is excited at the prospect of having her granddaughter close by XOXO
And just like that, the other shoe drops. My mom has sided with that monster.