FINN THOMPSON
Despite it being the start of November, it’s fairly warm.
Silas is demolishing a pizza while Ronan talks about this girl he met on some dating app that I didn’t even know existed, and JJ is glued to his phone. One more class and I can’t wait to get the hell off campus and visit Maya and Skye.
When JJ finally puts down his phone, he glances up at me. “Hey,” he says, catching my attention. “Ivy’s gonna come visit next week.”
My brows raise. “Oh,” I murmur. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” He attempts to hide his smile but fails miserably. “It will be good to be together.”
“Yeah, it will.”
“Yo, Thompson,” a voice bellows.
My shoulders tense as I turn around to find Reese, one of the guys from the football team I abandoned last year after my drinking started getting out of control. I release a silent sigh as I merely nod at him.
“What’s up, Reese?”
He’s with a group of his mates whose names I barely know—I should, but I don’t.
Reese smirks at me. “I heard you went to rehab this summer. Is that true?”
My chest tightens at his words, and I curse internally because someone has clearly run their mouth. The one thing I asked to stay in confidence.
“Go away, Reese,” JJ mumbles.
Reese’s brows hit his hairline. “So, it’s true?”
“And what if it is?” I rasp. “It’s got nothing to do with you.”
“Shit.” He covers his mouth as the rest of the boys look equally amused. “Coach is never going to let you back on the team now.”
I scowl at him. “I don’t want to be on your shitty team anyway.”
Reese’s eyes flare. “Yeah, well, it’s better now you’re not on it, Thompson. You were dragging us down.”
My eyes roll. “Whatever.”
When they leave, all the boys look at me as I take a sip of my water. “Ignore them,” Silas says dismissively. “The football team thinks they’re in the Premier League.”
I snort at that. “Trust me, they’re the last thing I’m thinking of.”
My eyes flick between the three of them, and the silence is almost deafening.
“Any of you guys say anything about me going to rehab?”
JJ’s face scrunches up. “I would never.”
Silas agrees with him, and when I look at Ronan, he releases a long breath that tells me everything I need to know.
“It slipped out, Finn.” Ronan drags a hand down his face. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think it would go around like that.”
“Wow.” JJ shakes his head in disbelief. “You are an asshole.”
I release a cold laugh. “Slipped out, huh?”
“Finn,” Ronan murmurs. “I’m sorry. I fucked up.”
Without another word, I grab my bag and sling it over my shoulder. I stand from the bench and head to class early because I don’t know what I’ll say to Ronan if he continues talking.
When you ask your friends not to say anything, it’s loyalty that you don’t.
I’m not perfect by any means, but this is something I wanted to keep to myself. Not have the entire university know that I’m an alcoholic and had to go to rehab to get back on track. Maybe I am embarrassed, but I shouldn’t be when it gave me a new lease of life.
If I didn’t go to rehab, I fear where I’d be right now.
The second my class starts, I can’t wait for it to be over. All I can think about is Maya and Skye. It’s the one afternoon Maya said I could come over when Nina is at work, and I said I’d be there without a doubt.
As soon as I’m in my car and on the way to her house, butterflies fill my stomach. My clammy fingers clutch my steering wheel at the thought of seeing them again. It’s all I’ve been able to think about for days.
When she texted me to ask if I was free this afternoon, I immediately said yes and then sent her my class timetable. Transparency of my availability is vital.
But if there’s one thing I know for sure, Maya needs to go back this January to start her final year. Even if I have to get on my knees and beg. The girl is too smart to throw away all her hard work—given she’s just had a baby—and she deserves to graduate and get the career of her dreams.
I’ll support her in any way she wants me to.
I raise my knuckles against Maya’s door and step back. It takes a few moments for it to swing open, and the second I see Maya’s glistening, bloodshot eyes, my entire demeanor changes.
“What’s the matter?” I ask with urgency, stepping forward.
Maya wipes at her face. “Nothing.”
I frown. “You’ve been crying.”
“No, I haven’t.”
“Sunshine,” I whisper, the nickname falling from my lips with ease, and I instinctively place my hand on her cheek.
We both tense at the sudden action, but it feels far too natural.
She blinks up at me with her dark eyes and wet lashes. My thumb smooths over the skin on her cheek as I tower over her.
“What’s wrong?”
She closes her eyes, and two fresh tears roll down her face. It tears me in half. Literally. As if someone has torn out my organs and trampled on them. There’s nothing worse than seeing someone you care about upset.
“Maya,” I whisper. “Talk to me.”
“It’s nothing,” she sniffles. “Just been having a tough day.”
“With Skye?”
She shakes her head.
“Then what?”
“Nina,” she croaks.
“What about Nina?”
“I-I don’t think I can live here anymore,” she whispers.
“And I don’t know where else to go. My dad is all loved up and settled with his family, and my mum would never let me bring Skye home, and I’m just struggling with everything.
I can’t afford anywhere else, and I don’t want anyone to think I’m an unfit mother. ”
The moment her voice breaks, I wrap her up in my arms and clutch her head to my chest, spearing my fingers through her hair soothingly. But when she starts to break down in endless tears, my heart contracts painfully.
“Breathe. Breathe for me. I’ve got you,” I whisper. “And you are not an unfit mother. You’re the best mother Skye could ever have.”
Maya chokes out another sob and clutches onto the back of my hoodie with her fingers. I stroke her hair and hold her until her cries become silent.
She pulls back as if realising what position we’re in, and I drop my hands from her, immediately missing her warmth. She wipes her face frantically. “I’m sorry,” she murmurs.
“Don’t apologise. You have nothing to be sorry for.”
Maya straightens herself out and hikes her thumb over her shoulder. “I’ll go get Skye.”
Before she can attempt to turn around, I reach for her arm. “Just because Skye is my daughter doesn’t mean I only came to see her, and I’m not going to push this conversation away when you’re clearly upset.”
“I’m fine,” she says with a fake smile.
“Don’t do that.” I step into her, my hand still on her wrist. “Don’t lie to me.”
She looks up at me with watery lids. “Every mother struggles. It’s not a big deal.”
“It’s a big deal to me,” I say, flicking my eyes between hers.
Maya’s lip wobbles, and I can’t stand another second of seeing her break down when I can be here to help. I will drop everything if I have to, I don’t care.
“What’s going on with you and Nina?”
She presses a hand to her forehead and walks to the sofa, where I join her. “She just doesn’t understand me. She always has a dig about Skye, as if I can shove her back inside my womb and pretend this never happened. I’m grateful because she lets me stay here, but it’s destroying me.”
My heart aches for her current distress, and I want to help. “Well, when my grandparents passed, my parents put money aside for me and Ivy when it’s time for us to move out and get a house, I can ask for it now and find somewhere to rent or—”
“No.” She waves a hand at me. “No, you’re not doing that for me.”
“It will be for us. As a family.”
“I can’t ask that of you, Finn. It’s too much.”
“Nothing is enough for you, Maya.”
Her shoulders subtly vibrate. “I’ll see if I can figure something else out first. That’s a lot to think about right now.”
I nod once. “Okay, I get that. But I don’t want you to struggle.”
“I’ll be okay, Finn.” I don’t enjoy the sound of her voice as it dips. “I’ll go get Skye.”
This time, I let her, and when she returns with our baby, I lose my breath at the sight of her and those big brown eyes. Maya settles beside me and places Skye in my arms as I gently cradle her.
“Hello, sweetheart,” I murmur, my eyes straining.
I doubt there will ever be a day when I don’t look at her and cry. She wriggles and makes a sound that’s far too adorable.
“Do you want to feed her? It’s time for her to eat.”
My eyes meet Maya’s. “Yeah, I’d love to.”
Maya leaves and soon comes back with a bottle and a pink cloth. She tests the milk on the back of her hand, I’m guessing to make sure it’s not hot enough to burn Skye’s mouth. I make a mental note of that as she hands me the bottle.
“What do I do?” I ask helplessly.
The corner of her mouth twitches. “It’s okay,” she says supportively.
“Hold her upright a little, her head in the crook of your elbow. Then make sure the bottle stays flat, don’t tip it too far, and let her drink from the nipple of the bottle until it’s gone or she doesn’t want to have it anymore. You’ll know if she doesn’t.”
“Okay,” I say as I twist the warm milk bottle and aim it towards Skye’s mouth. “Like this?”
“Yeah, Finn. Just like that.”
Skye latches onto the bottle tip and closes her eyes as she starts to drink. I exhale a silent breath of relief and watch in awe as she rests between my arms.
“See? It’s all good.”
“I feel useless.”
“You’re doing good,” she says softly.
Her words mean more to me than she’ll ever know.
“I can’t believe she’s ours,” I whisper.
“I know. I can’t believe it either.”
“Good thing she’s going to be beautiful like her mum.”
When I look up at Maya, her eyes are glistening again, and I wish I could wrap her in my arms, too.
“Don’t.” She releases a jagged laugh. “I look so awful at the moment.”
“You could never look awful, Maya.”
She’s always looked beautiful with a face of make-up and a fancy outfit, but my favourite is when she’s bare faced, wearing oversized clothing with her hair thrown up. Completely raw and breathtaking.
When Skye’s bottle is nearly finished, and she doesn’t want any more, Maya teaches me how to burp her to make sure the milk is digested properly.
My hand nearly covers the entirety of her back, and when I hold her to me, I get a whiff of her scent and let a thousand different sensations wash through me.
Maya plays with her necklace again, and I sense a wave of anxiety.
“Hey,” I say softly, and she meets my gaze. “Everything is going to be alright, you know that?”
She chews on her lip. “Taking one day at a time.”
I smile at her words. “That’s what my therapist always says to me.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. No point worrying about the future when we should be focusing on now.”
She hums softly. “I suppose.”
“No matter what happens, I’m gonna be here, okay?”
Maya inhales a breath, one that I believe has been constricting her chest. “Okay.”