FINN THOMPSON
Once we get Skye into something a little warmer and place her in her pram, we head outside. I rest my palms on the handle of the pram and push her as she sleeps soundly. All that crying earlier must have taken it out of her, and she looks adorable with her little hat and gloves.
Maya sniffles as she walks beside me, her arms over her chest.
“You okay?” I ask.
She keeps her eyes on the pavement, and I frown at the sight. “I’m sorry about what she said, that was uncalled for.”
I shrug. “It doesn’t bother me. She doesn’t know me, she doesn’t know my intentions, and I understand her being worried about her sister. I would be for Ivy if the same happened to JJ. But I don’t like seeing her upset you most of all, that’s what I care about.”
Maya releases a shuddering breath as she looks up at me with glossy eyes. “It just seems she loves to kick me while I’m already down.”
“We’ll work something out about the housing arrangements,” I say with optimism. “If you can’t stay there any longer, then we’ll figure it out.”
“I’m scared.” She wraps her arms tighter around herself. “I’m scared it’s all going to end badly, and Skye will be taken from me and—”
“Hey.” I stop pushing the pram and turn towards her, reaching for her cold fingers.
“No one is going to take Skye from you, okay? No one. We’re going to work this out regardless of what you think might happen.
We’re two present parents, and we’re going to do everything in our power to make sure we do our best. You’re not doing this alone anymore, sunshine, remember that. ”
Her nose wrinkles. “Not sure why you still call me sunshine when I am clearly nothing like sunshine.”
“You are my sunshine,” I rasp as I drag my fingers gently over her knuckles. “Every time I look at you, I see so much brightness, so much happiness. You brighten my day every time I get to see your face.”
She blinks through the emotion that washes over her expression. “I don’t even recognise myself anymore.”
My brows dip at the sadness in her voice. “You just had a baby. Of course things are going to be a little different, but that doesn’t mean you’re not the same person. Priorities have changed, and I know you’re sleep-deprived and stressed, but things will start to get better soon. I promise.”
“How can you promise that?”
“Because I’m going to be here,” I state simply. “Through everything. You’re not doing this alone, and I’m not going to let you suffer. It’s us, okay?”
Maya flicks her eyes between mine and eventually nods, relieving the tightness in my chest.
We walk around the local area, and I try my hardest to put a smile back on Maya’s face, bringing up all sorts of stupid memories from our past because those were some of the happiest days of my life.
The days I spent with her where I didn’t think about alcohol, that made me forget everything else in the world, and I fell in love with her a little more each day.
“I miss when we used to go around every cinema in the city and see how many movies we could watch in one day,” I say with a grin. “That must have been some kind of world record.”
Maya’s lips crack, and I hold onto the sliver of her smile for as long as I can. “We were sick of popcorn by the end of it.”
“And my bank account was crying,” I chuckle.
“Hey.” She points a finger at me. “I offered to pay, but you wouldn’t let me.”
“Because it was a date.”
“Dates can be equal. It’s normalised in society these days for the woman to pay, and I agree. It doesn’t have to be on the man every time,” she says with raised brows. “And besides, we were already boyfriend and girlfriend.”
My heart lurches at that statement. We were boyfriend and girlfriend.
Not anymore.
“Because I wanted to treat you right,” I confess. “It was my first serious relationship, and I wanted to prove how much you meant to me.”
Maya swallows thickly. “Well, I knew, Finn.”
I almost close my eyes in defeat because after the conversation we had earlier, it’s evident Maya doesn’t want anything to do with me now. We’re going to co-parent, whatever the hell that means.
But the situation is bigger than us, and we need to be mature adults about it.
“I could have been better,” I murmur. “I should have been better at the end.”
Maya remains silent as she purses her lips. She knows it’s true more than anyone else. She saw me self-destruct right before her eyes.
When we arrive back at Maya and Nina’s house after an hour, I hover by the door. “Do you want me to come in?”
Maya turns to me with pleading eyes. “Yeah,” she whispers. “Is that okay?”
“Of course.”
I’d do absolutely anything for her if she asked. Anything.
There is nothing Nina can say to me that I haven’t already heard or thought about myself. Her words might have hurt me before, but I know the steps I’m taking to make myself a better person.
We get Skye inside, and I take her out of the pram before removing her coat, hat, and gloves. She makes a hiccuping sound, and I tremble at the way she looks up at me. I hold her to my chest as I rock her from side to side.
Maya approaches me. “Shall I put her down?”
“In a bit.” She peeks her head over my arm to look at Skye. “She definitely loves being held by you.”
“That’s good,” I exhale with fulfillment in my soul.
After a few minutes, I place Skye in her crib and enter the living room at the same time Nina leaves her bedroom with a suitcase. My brows pinch together at the sight as Maya clocks on.
“Where are you going?” Maya asks.
“To Danielle’s,” she murmurs. “I can’t stay here, as I’ve been asked to work from home more often now the office is having refurbishments, and it’s too much with you and Skye and everything else.”
Hurt slashes across Maya’s face as if she’s the problem.
“Nina—”
“No.” She raises a hand and huffs out a sigh. “It’s for the best. You stay here, and you can help pay the rent. That way I’ll be out of your hair, and we won’t ruin our relationship any more than it already is.”
“B-but I can’t afford the rent.” Maya’s voice sounds strangled. “Not on my own.”
Nina shrugs. “Not my problem. You want somewhere to live, then you contribute.”
“Wait, Nina—” she steps forward as she wheels her suitcase across the living room. “Let’s just talk this out.”
“I can’t do this, Maya.” Nina runs a hand through her hair. “I can’t. And maybe this is what you need, some time with Skye. Alone. I’ll text you if anything changes.”
Then she’s gone, and the silence around us is deafening.
“Fuck,” Maya heaves as she presses her fingers to her forehead. “Oh fuck, fuck, fuck.”
I walk towards her slowly and rest a hand on her shoulder. “It’s gonna be okay.”
“How?” she exclaims, turning to me with red eyes. “I can’t afford the rent, Finn. I can’t afford to do anything.”
“I’ll help,” I say without hesitation.
“I can’t ask that of you.”
“Well, when you go back to university to start studying, I’ll be here a lot more, and I’ll contribute because that’s what a father should do. It’s the bare minimum.”
“But—”
“No. Do not fight me on this. Do not even dare.”
She blinks at me with fear in her eyes. “Everything is falling apart.”
“No,” I whisper and tug her towards me instinctively, how I would any time she’s overwhelmed or upset. “I know it’s the last thing you want to hear, but you have me. I’m gonna be here.”
Maya’s fingers curl into the back of my hoodie, and she sinks her face deep into my chest, inhaling as if she’s trying to commit my scent to memory.
I close my eyes and enjoy her warmth, having her this close; it might be the only time I do.
Regardless of what she says, I know in my heart there will never be anyone else.
There never was from the day I met her.
Maya pulls away from me and wipes her eyes.
“Are you hungry?”
“What?”
“Are you hungry?” I repeat.
Maya frowns. “Uh, I guess. We probably don’t have a lot in.”
I walk towards the kitchen and flick through the cupboards and fridge to see if I can whip something up.
“What are you doing?” she sniffles.
“Making us dinner.”
“We have no food.”
“I’ll figure it out,” I say with a smile. “Sit down. Shower. Nap. Do whatever you need. I’ve got this and Skye.”
Maya’s eyes flutter as she blinks and stares at me for a long moment.
“What?”
“You’re really in this with me?”
“With my entire heart.”
Maya releases a long breath. “Okay.”
“Do you trust me?
“Do you want me to be honest?”
“Yes.”
“Then no, not one hundred percent,” she says as she links her fingers together.
My lips press into a line. “I understand. I know I fucked up before, but I’m going to put it right,” I say sincerely.
Maya shifts between her feet. “I might have let you back into our lives, but you still have a lot to prove. Just whatever you do, please don’t…” She trails off as her chest heaves. “Don’t hurt me again.”
Pain slashes through me at her words. The fact that she even has to tell me. I’d rather gut myself than see another tear leave her eyes.
“Sunshine.” I turn to face her, and at this moment, she looks so vulnerable and fragile. It shatters me to pieces. “I will never hurt you like that again. I learnt my lesson, and I’m not going to lose you.”
She clears her throat. “I’m gonna shower.”
“Take as long as you need,” I say before turning back to the kitchen. “I’m going to be right here.”
I feel Maya’s eyes on me as I reach for the open pack of pasta and find a can of tinned tomatoes at the back of the cupboard. A few moments later, I hear her footsteps as she walks towards the bathroom and firmly shuts the door.
A breath of relief escapes me because this might be the breakthrough we’ve needed. I just wish it was under better circumstances and her relationship with her sister is okay.
Only time will prove that I’m going to be the best father and supportive co-parent. I flinch at that word, something that’s going to take me a while to get used to.
One day at a time.
Or I’ll go insane.