MAYA BROOKE
I’ve tried on seven outfits and none of them are suitable for the party. Mostly because my body is vastly different from when I used to go out partying, and now my boobs are double the size, and all of my jeans are too tight.
I groan and throw the top onto the bed, my head falling into my hands.
Not that I wanted to wear anything tight tonight.
My insecurities would shine through, knowing that you could see every curve and line of my body.
All I want is to dress comfortably, but I know girls don’t go to parties wearing hoodies and tracksuit bottoms.
After flopping down onto my bed, I sigh. There’s no way I can go. I grab my phone and shoot off a text to Jade.
Maya:
Nothing fits. Nothing looks good. Can’t come. Sorry.
Jade:
You dare give me that bullshit and I’ll punch you
Wow. Violence really?
I bet you look unreal in what you’ve tried on.
I roll my eyes. She’s only saying that to make me feel better.
Jade, I’m being serious. Nothing in my wardrobe fits
What about that red dress?
My brows pinch as I read over the message. Red dress?
It’s floaty and so beautiful
It’s way too formal, and besides I wore it on a date with Finn
So? And it’s not too formal. Me and Alice are wearing dresses. Fen’s parties are always about dressing to impress
I hum, not that I’m trying to impress anyone…
I just want to feel good. I throw my phone onto my bed before walking towards my wardrobe.
My fingers flick over each hanger until I pull out the red dress I had completely forgotten about.
Jade’s right, it is stunning. Thick straps with a pinched waist that stops above mid-thigh, with a floaty hem, and showcases a lot of cleavage with the square neckline.
After throwing on the dress and straightening it out, I glance in the mirror.
My body freezes at the reflection. The colour of the fabric makes my skin look a little bronzed rather than pale as my dark hair cascades over my shoulders.
It’s probably the only thing I could wear that will make me feel comfortable because I don’t hate it.
My phone vibrates from the bed, and I grab it.
Have you tried it on?
I snap a picture and send it back to her.
YES. YES. YES.
It’s the one
You look so hot
We’ll be over soon!
My body clenches as I take another look in the mirror, double-checking my make-up is okay and brushing through the ends of my hair. I grab my black heeled boots, my oversized denim jacket, and a bag before I try to gather some confidence.
I open my bedroom door to find Finn sitting on the sofa, where I left him when I started getting ready. Skye is asleep in his arms as he watches Desperate Housewives—his new obsession.
When I walk around the sofa, Finn’s green eyes flick to mine, and he stares. He stares for a long time as his eyes dilate and his lips part. I swallow and shuffle from foot to foot.
“D-do you think this is okay?” I ask as I glance down at my dress quickly.
Finn blows out a breath before his gaze lands back on mine. He says nothing, eyes roaming over my attire. I smooth out the material of the dress until my fingers start to tingle.
“You wore that on the night we went out to that pizzeria and then played mini golf until midnight,” he says after a few moments.
My lip twitches. “You remember that?”
“I might have been a mess, but I remember a lot about you,” he says softly.
My cheeks flush, and I clear my throat. “So…the outfit. Do you think it’s okay?”
Finn’s eyes travel again. “I don’t think anything I say will be appropriate.”
I frown. “What…in a bad way?”
“No.” He shakes his head adamantly, as if I could think of something so ludicrous. “In a ‘I’m fighting for my life’ kinda way.”
A part of me wants to know what he could possibly say that means it would be inappropriate, but for my own sanity, I don’t ask. It’s been a struggle to see him here with Skye as it is, and the moments we have together remind me of our relationship.
“Oh.” I run my fingers through the ends of my hair, unsure what to do with myself.
“You always look incredible, Maya. No matter what you wear.”
“Thanks,” I say, despite struggling to accept the compliment. “You gonna be okay for the night?”
Finn nods and gestures to a sleeping Skye in his arms. “We’re gonna be fine, sunshine. Don’t worry about us. I’ve got this.”
“Okay.” I suck in a breath. “But if you need me, just call me. Yeah?”
“Go have fun,” he says with a gentle smile.
My chest tightens as my phone vibrates, and I glance at it to find a message from Jade saying that she’s outside. Panic starts to rise, and I’m filled with guilt once more.
“Maya,” Finn says softly, as if sensing my emotions change. “You’re allowed to go out.”
“Yeah.” I chew on my lip.
Jade beeps from outside, and I know it’s now or never. I walk towards Finn and press a kiss to Skye’s forehead before stroking back her hair. My eyes fall to Finn’s, and I find us face-to-face.
“Bye,” I whisper.
“Bye, sunshine.”
When I stand back up again, I head towards the front door and glance back at them, but Finn is already smiling at me. “I won’t be late,” I promise.
Finn tilts his head. “It doesn’t matter if you are. Take this night for yourself.”
“Thanks,” I say before opening the door. “I’ll see you later.”
As soon as I make it outside, I stare ahead at Jade parked in front of the house with Alice sitting in the passenger seat. I walk towards them and slip into the back.
“Hey, girl,” Alice greets as she turns around. “You look so hot.”
I laugh hesitantly. “Thanks. So do you guys.”
“Let’s go!” Jade declares.
During the entire drive to the party, I try to push away the tension that has developed in my stomach. I breathe through the waves and focus on being with my friends. It doesn’t take long to get to Fen’s house, and the second we do, I realise this is a huge fucking party.
We step inside, and I’m mobbed by people talking, dancing, laughing, drinking. At first, it’s a little overwhelming, but Jade drags us to the kitchen for some space. They start pouring themselves drinks before thrusting one in my direction.
“I’m not drinking.” I push it away.
“What? Why?” Alice frowns.
“Because Finn is in recovery and I’m not going home for him to smell it on me, or see me intoxicated,” I say simply. “It’s not fair, and I care about him staying sober.”
Alice blinks and pulls back. “Shit. Sorry, Maya. I didn’t think of that.”
“It’s okay.”
“You still care about him, huh?” Jade says as she flicks her eyes between mine.
“Of course,” I admit. “He might have done what he did, but that doesn’t mean I automatically fell out of love with him. We have history.”
“Do you think you’re going to get back together?”
“I’m not letting anything ruin what we have,” I murmur. “Everything is working well, and if I get back with Finn and something happens between us, then it’ll be awful for us to co-parent.”
Alice hums. “I understand.”
Jade turns to the counter and grabs a new cup before pouring in some lemonade. “Here.”
“Thanks,” I say gratefully as I take it. “I’m gonna head to the toilet.”
“Need us to come?”
“I’m good. See you guys in a second.”
As I worm my way between the people in the kitchen and head down the hall to the bathroom, my shoulder knocks into another. I glance up into brown eyes and blink in surprise.
“Maya.” Alfie takes in my face before his expression widens. “You made it.”
“Yeah,” I chuckle awkwardly. “I made it.”
His eyes soften, and he steps into me to allow someone to pass behind him. My back presses against the wall, and I’m aware of how close he is to my chest.
“Sorry,” he says before stepping back and studying my attire. “Wow. You look amazing.”
My fingers clutch onto my cup tighter. “Thanks, it was a very last-minute choice. I wasn’t even gonna come.”
“I like it,” he says before dragging a hand through his hair. “A lot.”
For a moment, my heart beats out of rhythm.
“Sorry.” He laughs as his gaze flicks over the very obvious blush on my cheeks. “I have to be honest, and I’m glad you decided to come.”
“I kinda forced myself. It’s just weird being out for the first time since having Skye,” I say to change the subject. “Everything is a little bit overwhelming.”
Alfie steps into me slightly. “Well, if you ever need five minutes for a breather, I’ll be there for you.”
My brows crease as I stare up at him. “But I don’t even know you?”
“Am I not allowed to get to know you?”
I narrow my eyes as I attempt to figure out his game. “Depends on what reason.”
“Because I think you’re a cool girl.” He shrugs.
A snort bursts out of me, and it’s far from attractive. “Cool? I think you’ve hit your head.”
“Even if I did.” He grins. “Still wouldn’t change what I think.”
I roll my eyes. “Oh, please.”
“Oh, please, what?”
“You’re friends with Reese, and I don’t trust that guy.”
Alfie tilts his head. “Reese is an asshole. I know.”
“Then why do you hang around him?”
“Because we’re both on the football team.” He takes a sip of his drink. “And when Reese gets you under his wing, sometimes it’s hard to get out.”
I raise my brows, unimpressed. “I think you’re more than capable of choosing your own friends.”
He stares back at me. “You’re right. Does that mean I can choose you?”
There is a suggestive drawl in his tone that makes me think ‘friends’ is definitely a light term. For a moment, I say nothing, but then I squirm. I know I’m not doing anything wrong, but why do I feel like I am?
I’m not looking for a relationship. And if I had to pick, obviously I’d pick Finn over anyone. But this is harmless.
“We can be friends.” I straighten my spine.
Alfie’s eyes flare as if he’s accepted a challenge. “Alright,” he says as he holds out his hand to me. “Friends it is.”
I slide my palm against his. I glance down as his long fingers close over mine, practically swallowing my entire hand.
“Friends, only.” I exhale.
He winks at me effortlessly, and I pause. “Trust me, I’ll show you how good a friend I can be.”
“There you are!” I hear Jade’s voice.
I drop Alfie’s hand like it’s lava. No doubt my face is on fire. “Hey.”
“Did you go to the bathroom?”
Fuck. I forgot I even wanted to go.
“No. Got a little distracted.”
“I see that.” Alice wiggles her brows at me, and I resist the urge to roll my eyes. “Come on. Let’s go to.”
And when they finally drag me away from Alfie, I’m flooded with relief, even if I still feel guilty for talking to him. I glance over my shoulder to find him staring back at me before he salutes and walks off.
Despite knowing I did nothing wrong, I feel disgustingly dirty.