FINN THOMPSON
Skye’s high-pitched scream startles me awake. I immediately hear Maya groan from the bed beside me. My eyes are sore from the early start, but she’s slept through most of the night until now.
“I’ll go,” she murmurs.
Before she can throw the covers off herself, I lean over and grab them. “No,” I mutter through the dark. “I’ve got it.”
“You did it last time,” she says as she sits up and pushes her dark hair away from her face.
I huff. “And you’ve done it every time I wasn’t here. Go back to sleep. I’ve got it.”
Despite the dim lighting, I can see the frown that covers her face. “Finn—”
“I’ve got it,” I say before leaving the bed and walking towards Skye’s cot. “Go back to sleep, Maya.”
I feel her eyes on the back of my head as I lean over the cot and scoop Skye up into my arms before holding her closely against my chest. I leave the bedroom silently and shut the door behind me.
It’s nearly sunrise, and it’s not worth us both getting up if one of us can do it.
I’ve been staying over ever since the attempted break-in to take the load off Maya’s back, anything to help her with her studies and sleep deprivation.
Sure, I’m tired, but I push through. Nothing makes me happier than doing what I should have been doing since the start. It’s still new to me, it’s exciting to be involved, and I wonder if that feeling will ever go away.
How can the joyous feeling of being a father ever disappear? It’s a blessing.
After changing Skye’s nappy and warming up a bottle, I manage to get her to quieten down as I sit on the sofa and stare at the TV with blurry eyes. I don’t have class until later today, but I know Maya has a class around twelve; she needs as much sleep as possible.
Skye stares up at me with those big brown eyes that will forever steal my heart.
I smile as I watch her drink down her milk before burping her and laying her down on her comfortable playmat while I clean and sterilise the bottles. A few hours later, Maya is still asleep, which gives me deep satisfaction.
I get to work making breakfast before she wakes up, and I fall into a routine. I never knew how much having a schedule is beneficial for my sobriety. It gives me purpose and responsibility, less time to spiral.
Before, I didn’t care about timelines because I didn’t have one. I did whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Things are very different now.
The door to the bedroom creaks open behind me as I glance over my shoulder to find Maya emerging. Her hair is a mess, and the T-shirt she’s wearing barely covers her thighs, and god, she looks heavenly in the mornings.
I’ve missed waking up to her. I’ve missed sleeping in the same bed as her. I’ve missed holding her. There’s nothing about her I don’t miss.
“Morning, sunshine.”
I’m so lucky I get to wake up to this. I wouldn’t change anything for the world, and that’s how I know I’m in a good place.
Maya blinks as she stares at me by the hob. Her eyes trail down my bare torso, realising I’m in nothing but my boxers. I don’t miss the way her cheeks flush as she watches me, eyes dilating to the point it sets off a fire deep in my soul.
“You okay over there?” I chuckle, enjoying every second of her eyes on me.
She snaps her gaze to mine. “Uh…yeah. Gonna go brush my teeth and freshen up.”
“Breakfast will be ready in ten.”
“Okay,” she says before walking across the living room and leaning down to kiss Skye on the forehead.
I fight the smile building on my face. She might not want us to be together, but I know the attraction is still there. We’re two magnets that are struggling to stay apart, and it’s definitely not an easy fight.
When she returns, she’s freshly showered with her long, damp hair resting over her shoulders. She avoids my gaze as she hurries to the bedroom before throwing on some clothes. I plate up and head to the table as she meets me.
“French toast?” she says with delicacy.
I meet her eyes. “Yeah. You still love it, right?”
Maya flicks her eyes between mine. “Always.”
“Good,” I say as I gesture to the plate. “Eat.”
She sits down, and I perch beside her as we dig into our breakfast. My eyes follow her fork as she raises it and places the toast inside her mouth, and a groan erupts into the room.
A small laugh bursts from my chest. “That good, huh?”
“Mm.” She hums as she covers her mouth with her hand. “This is the best French toast I’ve ever had. How do you do it?”
I shrug. “It’s a secret, and practically the only thing I can cook well.”
“That’s a lie. You’ve cooked me a few meals that were delicious.” She watches me with those mesmerising eyes. “Since when did you get into cooking?”
My tongue pokes into the corner of my mouth.
“When I realised that binge eating shit food was contributing to unhealthy choices with drinking and going out. It’s what I associate hangovers with.
When I went to rehab, they tried to get us to try out new things, and I decided I actually enjoyed cooking. ”
Maya’s face softens. “It’s good that it benefitted you.”
I nod in agreement. “They wanted to give us something to work with when we left.”
“I wanna know more about your rehabilitation,” she states, which surprises me.
“Really?”
Maya’s head tilts. “Of course. I suppose I didn’t really ask loads of questions at the start because I didn’t want to trigger you. I didn’t know if you were ready to talk about it, but I know you’ve been making really good progress. If you don’t want to talk about it, we don’t have to.”
I chew, swallow, and clear my throat. “Maybe another time,” I say. “I just wanna enjoy breakfast with you.”
“Okay,” she says with a smile, and I lock onto the sight. “It’s not shameful.”
“I’m not ashamed of it.” It might have been at the start, but not now. Not knowing it saved my life. I’ve finally learnt not to let the thoughts of others affect me, even if it’s still in practice. “This just feels normal,” I admit. “And I wanna feel normal for a moment longer.”
Maya purses her lips, not taking her eyes off me. “Okay, we can do that.”
“Thank you,” I say gratefully.
“You seriously not going to tell me the secret recipe?” Maya eyes me cautiously.
I snort. “Nope.”
“You’re so mean.”
“How?”
“Because I want to make it myself.”
“Then just let me make it for you,” I say simply.
Maya narrows her eyes. “Every time I want it?”
“Every single time, sunshine.”
She stares again, and something crosses her eyes. Adoration, maybe? I don’t dwell on it. I’m probably reaching.
When we finish our breakfast, I grab our plates and head towards the kitchen. “Wait.” She hurries off her seat. “I’ll do that.”
“I’ve got it.”
“You can’t do everything, Finn,” she huffs.
I smirk at her as she steps to my side. “Yes, I can.”
“Finn, please.” She attempts to reach around me, but her chest presses against my bare back instead.
“Stop,” I laugh. “It’s just plates.”
Maya’s nose wrinkles. “If it’s just plates, then let me do it.”
“Not a chance.”
She throws up her hands. “You’re impossible.”
“You’ve got class soon.”
“Not for a few more hours,” she murmurs, her cheeks heating.
I turn towards her, and her eyes float from my collarbones up to my face. “Let me just take care of this, okay?”
Maya’s chest heaves as her eyes expand unexpectedly, and my brows pinch at the sudden change in her expression. “Why are you doing this?”
I frown. “Doing what?”
“This,” she exclaims as her arms flail around.
“Because I want to.”
“But why?”
My nostrils flare as I step towards her. “Do I need a reason?”
“Yes.”
I flick my eyes between hers as her chest heaves up and down. “Why are you fighting me on this?”
“Because you’re confusing me.” Her nose wrinkles.
My brows hit my hairline. “I’m confusing you?”
“You’re here to look after Skye,” she says slowly.
I press her into the counter and rest my hands on either side of her body. “I’m here to look after my family, Maya.”
Her cheeks darken, and her pupils dilate as I lean in. “I never asked that of you.”
“No? Well, I don’t care. I’ll do what I want.”
Maya’s throat bobs as her pink lips part, and I can feel her breath on my mouth. It’s the closest we’ve been—except for when we wake up cuddled up in the mornings, this is different.
“You make me so angry,” she says through gritted teeth as her eyes dip down to my mouth. Something tells me she’s frustrated about something else.
“Oh…do I now?”
Maya’s exhales are uneven and ragged. “This isn’t fair.”
“It’s not fair to care about you?”
“It’s not fair to make me feel things!”
“Well, join the fucking club, Maya. I—”
Before I can finish my sentence, she lunges forward and wraps her hand around the back of my neck, pressing her lips to mine. I’m stunned into intense shock.
I did not expect her to kiss me. Fuck.
Maya backs away into the counter, her chest flushed and eyes wide. “Shit,” she curses. “I’m sorry. I-I don’t know why I did that.”
“Maya—”
She shakes out her hands. “It’s just been a long time since someone has…”
When she doesn’t finish the sentence, I drag my tongue along my tingling bottom lip. I’m still trying to wrap my head around what the hell just happened, my mind spinning like a damn fair ride.
“Taken care of you?” I finish for her.
Those cheeks go up in flames as she lowers her head to the floor. Something wraps around my lungs and squeezes to the point I’m barely breathing.
“I’m sorry, that was—” She cuts herself off. “I shouldn’t have—”
I step forward and take her face in my hands, trying to ignore the storm of emotion that’s thundering inside my chest. My thumb tilts her chin and draws her eyes to mine before she can squirm her way out of this.
“I’ll always take care of you,” I whisper.
She releases a long shudder. “It was stupid.”
“It wasn’t stupid. I’ll take care of you in any way you need.”
“My needs are inappropriate,” she blurts.
My heart burns to a crisp. “Inappropriate?” I chuckle with amusement. “A lot of my thoughts about you are inappropriate.”
Maya’s throat works as she swallows.
“Remember when you went to that party?”
She nods silently, hanging onto my every last word.
“And I saw you in that red dress,” I whisper along the edge of her jaw.
“Yes.”
“All I could think about doing was ripping that material off you.”
Maya’s head falls back as a soft moan escapes those perfect lips. “Finn.”
“If you need me to take care of you, Maya, I will,” I say with a gravelly tone. “We’ve been together before. I know what you need, what you crave, and I’ll give it to you. I’d do anything for you.”
My thumb rolls along her pulse point that thrashes against my skin.
“It won’t change anything?” Her voice is breathless and nearly unrecognisable.
I grind my teeth at her words. “No. It won’t.”
It will. It will. It will.
But I’ll take anything she gives me. Literally anything.
“You promise?”
No.
“Yes.”
“Okay. Kiss me. Please.”
She doesn’t have to ask me twice as I lay my mouth over hers. It’s hot, heavy, and fucking desperate. Months’ worth of separation, agony, and relief all rolled into one. I hold her jaw still as I devour her mouth, sweeping my tongue over hers. I curl my hand into her nape and hold her still.
A moan vibrates through my soul as we both exhale at the same time.
“I’ve got you,” I whisper against her lips, and she trembles.
My arm hooks around her lower spine as I tug her towards me, my fingers sliding into the back of her hair. She grips onto me as if her life depends on it and allows me to take control, kissing me back with the same ferocity I’m giving.
It’s been too long. Seconds have felt like years. Now I feel like I’ve found home again after being lost for an eternity. Even if it’ll destroy me after.
I’ll have to put myself back together if that means I get to have her one last time. I’m going to worship every inch of her until my words are tattooed onto her skin, and I’m the only person she’ll ever remember.