Chapter 7 #2
“I hear you. Christmas is quite marvelous in December, but I wouldn’t want to swim in elves and Christmas garlands all year round.”
Malin suddenly got up and started collecting plates and cream-covered spoons.
“It’s easy for you to say. It’s like you don’t care about Astrid and everything she stood for, like you are laughing at our entire childhood! Now, I’m going to the bathroom and afterwards we are going to the pier,” she snarled and left them.
Emilie looked from Andreas to Jesper, grabbed the ice-cream and started jogging after Malin.
“Malin, wait up!”
A quarter of an hour later, they were all on their way down to the pier, and they were all good friends again. Each of them had a water bottle of white wine under their arm.
“I understand that you think that it is a bit much with all the Christmas stuff, but I grew up with all of that,” Malin said.
For a moment, Emilie thought that she could spot a tear in her eye, and locked arms with her.
“All right, if I promise not to throw everything away, just the things that are broken or don’t work anymore?
Is that all right? I mean, a Christmas goat made of three pieces of hay and two strings isn’t really worth holding on to…
And if there’s anything that you want, please just come over and get it,” she said, smiling at Malin.
Malin nodded, it was a good deal.
When they came down to the pier, the sun was shining and The Sardines had already started playing.
Emilie gave Liv and Linnea 100 SEK each for lottery tickets and ice-cream and the cheerfully ran off together with Tore.
The grown-ups found a long table with wooden benches and Jesper left to buy punch and peanuts.
People passed by, said hello and exchanged a few words with them, Emilie started to understand what Birgitta had meant by the not-so-child friendly punch, because her surroundings slowly became nicer, prettier and blurrier.
When it was close to 8, they walked out to the pier to watch the performance by the folk-dance club.
Andreas was standing right next to Emilie, and she could feel the rough texture of his linen shirt against her bare upper arm.
She closed her eyes, inhaling his scent mixed with the smell of the ocean, and she lost her balance for a moment, and he put his arm around her to support her.
They stood like that for a while, before she realised what it must look like.
He might be too old for Linn, but he was certainly too young for her, and she untangled herself and told him she had to go to the bathroom.
When she came back, the orchestra had started to play and Malin and Jesper were dancing closely together on the floor.
Andreas was standing over by their table and he smiled towards her, and she couldn’t help but smile back, but before she got over to him Linn showed up out of nowhere, and he put his arm around her shoulders.
He said something to her, and Linn burst out laughing before leaving and walking in the direction of a group of teenagers standing dangerously close to the punch.
Andreas turned to her and smiled again. Who the heck did he think he was?
Making friends with her just to try and seduce her teenage daughter? He came over to her and bowed.
“May I?”
“I don’t think so”, she scoffed.
His smile disappeared when he saw how upset she looked.
She turned on her heel and went to find Linnea and Liv, who protested loudly when she said it was time to go back home.
“But mum, it isn’t even late and we’re having so much fun” Liv said, pouting.
“I feel a bit nauseous” Emilie said, and felt ashamed for lying to her children, but she didn’t want to stay any longer.
She couldn’t stay and be a part of this drama. Someone would have to be the grown-up in the situation, and apparently that was her. Andreas apparently wasn’t going to be, and Linn was far too young. Malin popped her head up.
“Are you not feeling well? I can bring the girls over to our place and drive them back in the morning if you need to rest?”
Liv and Linnea started to jump up and down.
“Yes, please mum, please say yes!”
Now she started to regret what she had said.
She didn’t really want to leave the party and the light summer night behind, but she didn’t have any choice.
She said thank you to Malin and told the girls to behave and then left the pier with determined, though rather wobbly, steps.
Her feet were aching in the new sandals so she sat down on a rock to take them off.
When she looked over to the pier, she saw Linn ask Andreas to dance and they both jumped out on the dance floor and started swinging to Inget stoppar oss nu – naturally he danced swing like a God too, and it was her favourite swing song.
She sighed. To hell with it. Linn looked beamingly beautiful and happy, and Emilie saw Oskar looking at her dancing with Andreas.
To hell with Andreas and to hell with this Midsummer night that never ended and to hell with her mood forcing her to stumble home all by herself.
A teardrop ran down her cheek as she walked home.
Her children were having fun without her, Sara and her mother were far away and Ousman even further.
No one even knew where. She gazed up towards the sky and saw a star blinking before disappearing again.
Even the star was alone, she thought to herself.