Chapter 1
Present Day
I wake up with a start when I hear her screams. Screams that sound as if she’s being split open and pulled inside out. It puts a pain in my own chest when I’m reminded that there's nothing I can do to make it better.
It’s been six months since Everleigh came here, six months of me sleeping on this damn couch and six months of me listening to her relive all those horrors of her past without being able to comfort her.
I throw off my blanket and get up from the couch, heading toward her door then sliding down it onto my ass and resting my head back against it.
“Everleigh. You're dreamin’, darlin’,” I call out, hoping that she’ll hear me. I can’t go in there when she's in this kinda state. I learned that lesson on the first night I spent here with her. She damn nearly clawed the skin off my flesh when I tried to wake her. Not that it bothered me, I’d take her scratches every night of the week if it meant I got to hold her. They ain’t what keep me on the other side of this door during her terrors. It’s the fear that I saw in her eyes, and knowing that during that split second, she thought I was her monster. I never wanna see that again.
“Everleigh! You ain’t there no more,” I yell out again, needing her to hear me. I can’t stand the thought of her being back at that place and reliving whatever she’s been through, over and over. I wanna smash through the door and scoop her up tight in my arms, and the frustration of being unable to builds up inside me and makes me wanna hurt somebody.
All this anger and pain is confirmation of what I’ve been trying to avoid since she came here. The last thing I want to admit is that I’ve grown a fondness for the pretty, broken girl that Jimmer sent here to heal. She may not have made much progress, and she still barely speaks a word, but every morning she gives me a smile over the breakfast table that sets me up for the day I got ahead of me.
Life for me has changed a helluva lot since she came here. I pretend that I’m okay since we lost Dalton a few months ago, but I ain’t. I see his face every time I close my eyes. I think of all the things I had left to teach him and I beat myself up constantly for the way I let him down. That boy had a heart too kind for this world, and it was that heart that got him killed.
The ranch is too busy for me to lose myself, especially now that Garrett has become Fork River’s new mayor. And as much as I’d like to lock myself away in this cabin with Everleigh and pretend the rest of the world don’t exist, I force myself each day to push on. It’s what Dalton would do.
I’m wise enough to know that it’s not healthy for me to feel this way about the girl. She’s far too young for me, and although her progress is slow, it’s bound to happen one day. Then, just like a baby bird, she's gonna wanna fly from the safety of this nest. It’s something I try to remind myself of every time I look at her. But right now, she’s here, and I can’t help but appreciate everything about her, even all those broken pieces that may never get fixed.
“The Lord shall punish,” she starts to chant, and I look up at the ceiling and sigh. I stopped trying to picture what the fuckers in that cult might have done to her. All it does is make me rage, and rage is not what Everleigh needs around her. She needs calm, she needs peace, and I want so badly to be the one who gives her all that.
“Everleigh, you ain’t there no more, darlin’,” I call out over her cries, swallowing the large lump that’s wedged in my throat. “Follow my voice, wake yaself up for me.” That pain just keeps on splitting me open, making it harder and harder for me to stay on this side of the door.
The screaming abruptly stops, and all that can be heard are desperate breaths that tell me she’s coming out of it. “That’s right, you leave all that behind, and come back to me,” I coax her back to a world where she’s safe.
“Mitch.” Hearing my name whisper from her lips makes me smile to myself.
“I’m right here, darlin’, right here,” I assure her, keeping that smile on my face as I imagine her nestling her head back into her pillow and taking comfort in the fact she knows I’m just the other side of this door.
“Thank you.” Her voice comes out so weak I barely hear it but I still feel it’s warmth in my chest
“Anytime,” I manage, before closing my eyes and letting myself fall back to sleep.
“Mornin’.” I lift up my hat when Everleigh comes outta the bedroom. She stops and stares at me in both shock and horror when she realizes that I’m cooking breakfast.
“I should?—”
“You sit yaself down. You’ve done breakfast every mornin’ since ya been here. I figured it’s my turn.” I pull out a chair for her and ignore how uneasy she looks about the entire situation. I’ve spent the past six months allowing her to do things her way. She keeps this place immaculately clean, she prepares every meal we eat, and she does all the laundry. I’m guessing it’s what the women, back where she came from, were expected to do, and I decided last night that this girl ain’t ever gonna heal if she don’t get pushed outta her comfort zone.
She sits with her back straight and a nervous look on her face as her eyes watch me plate up the turkey rashers and scrambled eggs that I’ve made us.
“Here, I’ll bet it don’t taste as good as yours, but it’s nice to have breakfast made for ya, ain’t it?” I’ve learned that over the past six months, too. Her breakfasts sure beat the shit that gets rustled up in the bunkhouse.
“Tha…Thank you.” She forces a smile at me as I place a plate in front of her, then I take the space opposite her with my own.
I watch on as she links her fingers and bows her head, and after she’s whispered her prayers she looks up at me and smiles awkwardly. I never join her in her prayers, I lost faith in the man upstairs when he took my nephew from me, and I’m sure she thinks I’m going to Hell for it.
I won’t tell her that the sins I’ll be going to Hell for are a lot darker than forgotten prayers.
I watch her take each bite of what I made for her, feeling a lot like I accomplished somethin’. With Everleigh, any step forward seems like a huge achievement, it’s not something that happens often.
“You got Samantha comin’ over today, she’ll be with ya till noon, then Josie will be here to keep ya company till I get home,” I remind her, despite the fact she knows the routine well.
The way her chest sags shows how much she hates therapy days but she’s far too polite to admit it. Jimmer’s tried a few different counselors since she’s been here, and although what Samantha has done ain’t exactly been groundbreaking, Everleigh seems comfortable with her, comfortable enough to be left alone so I’m guessing that means something.
I’ve barely finished my plate before it gets swiped from under me and taken to the basin. I shake my head and grin to myself when she quickly pours me a coffee and places it in front of me.
“You like Samantha, right?” I check, knowing that these sessions are important, I just wish they could make those night terrors go away, and stop her flinching if I get too close.
If Samantha’s not helping, I’m sure we could find someone else.
“She’s lovely.” Everleigh starts cleaning up the mess I’ve made of the kitchen, which kinda defeats the whole point I was trying to make with this breakfast.
“Lovely? That all ya gotta say?” I take a sip of my coffee and narrow my eyes at her. I’ll probably never know exactly what happened to her in that bunker she was kept in, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t think about it every day. Whether I’m with her or I ain’t, these days I find it hard to concentrate on anything else.
“She’s nice,” Everleigh assures me, and when I drain the last of my coffee she takes the mug straight off me too.
“I gotta go, I’ll be back home around six,” I let her know, picking my hat up from the chair and placing it on my head. I wonder to myself how it might feel to reach over and kiss her the way Garrett does to Maisie when he leaves for work, then I curse myself for thinking that way. Everleigh is young. It’s wrong of me to think of her like that, but I just can’t help myself.
“Bye, Mitch.” She follows me to the door, standing and holding it open so she can watch me get in my truck. She always looks a little sad when I leave her, and I wonder if that's because she misses me when I’m gone. I like the idea of that a whole lot more than I should. I start up the engine and get confused when I see Josie's car bouncing across the terrain in the distance.
“See ya later,” I call out the window as I pull away and drive toward Josie.
“How is she today?” she asks when we pull up beside each other. Josie’s a bright girl and although this ain’t part of her job description, she never complains. All the councelors who have dealt with Everleigh have said that she should have consistency. Maisie and Leia can’t spare that kinda time with the little ones to look after and since Everleigh gets so nervous at the thought of meeting new people, we agreed to stick to the same person, Josie.
“She had another rough night but seems okay this mornin’. I thought you weren't gettin’ here till lunchtime?” I question her.
“Samantha called and said she was running late. I know Everleigh panics if she’s on her own for too long, I didn’t want her locking herself in the bathroom again.” She smiles sadly, reminding me of what happened last week when Josie got held up at an appointment. “I checked with Maisie and she can spare me, so here I am.” This time, her smile is a little more joyful.
“I appreciate that, you have a good day.” I nod my head before I leave her to it and make my way to the ranch.
Wade’s still trying to break in the mare that Cole bought last week, while my bunkhouse boys, Tate and Finn, sit their lazy asses on the side of the corral and watch him fail.
“Ain’t ya got work to be gettin’ on with?” I call over to ‘em and when Tate hears my voice and looks back over his shoulder, he quickly slides off the rail and heads toward me.
“We’re just watchin’ Wade waste his time,” he tells me.
“Never let Cole loose at an auction again.” Wade gets up from the floor and picks up his hat.
“She’s impossible.” He dusts it off before placing it back on his head.
“Ya ain’t ready to give in already, are ya?” Cole looks smug as he rests his arms over the gate.
“What on earth made you part with hard-earned cash for this?” Wade questions his brother.
“His wife liked the color.” Savannah slides her head under Cole’s arm and wraps her arms around his waist. Things have been a lot less tense around here since they got their shit together and tied the knot.
That, and Wade's little boy being born really pulled the family together during a time of tragedy, I can’t help wishing that Dalton was still here to be part of it.
For years I kept my nephew in the dark over who his father was. I was trying to protect him. I didn’t want him to know that he wasn’t wanted. In doing that, I denied him all those years he could have spent getting to know his brothers. I deeply regret that. All I can do now is be grateful that he had those few months of knowing who he really was and know how happy being accepted by his brothers made him.
“What the hell happened to you? I think I preferred you when you were a cold, callous bastard?” Wade glares at Cole as he jumps back on the saddle.
“It was you that told me how important it was to keep a pregnant woman happy.” Cole strokes his hand proudly over the now, very prominent bump he’s given his wife. One thing that can be said for a Carson man, is that they don’t waste any time in the procreating department.
“Mitch,” Garrett calls over as he steps off his porch. “Did ya see Josie on ya way here? She got a call sayin’ Samantha couldn’t make it.” Garrett and the others may not have met Everleigh yet, but that don’t mean they don’t care. Everyone here has a general idea of what happened to her and they understand that it’s gonna take some time to adjust.
When she’s finally ready, Everleigh has got a whole bunch of decent people who wanna make her feel welcome, and that makes me real happy for her.
“Yeah, she explained and I appreciate ya sparin’ her.”
“Ain’t a problem, I just wish she’d start makin’ some steps forward, it can’t be easy splittin’ yourself between her and here.”
“I don’t mind at all.” I nod, before making my way into the stable to saddle up JD.
“Mitch Hudson.” I spin around when I hear my full name. “ The woman at the guesthouse said you were the one to speak to about getting some employment around here.” The young lad that stands in front of me is tall and has a good set of shoulders on him. He looks handy, even with his shiny boots and eyes that look far too kind to have seen any trouble.
“Name’s Hunter and I’m looking for some work, sir.” He holds out his hand and grips me firmly when I shake it.
“You know how to ride a horse, son?” I reach up and lift the brand-new Stetson off his head so I can examine it.
“No, sir, but I can learn.”
“You know how to throw a rope?” I place it back on his head and flick the front of it up.
“No, but I pick up fast.” He seems confident as well as determined, which is never a bad thing.
“You come lookin’ for work on a ranch, and you can’t ride a horse or rope a cow?” I laugh at him. “What am I supposed to hire ya for?”
The kid backs up a little, looking at the space around him, then taking the brand new gloves from outta his back pocket he slides ‘em over his fingers.
“There’s this.” He heads over to the anvil on the far side of the stable and starts to lift it, without making no sound or breaking any sweat.
“It took both Finn and Tate to carry that in here after the blacksmith was done last week,” I say my thoughts out loud as I stare at the boy in shock and realize he’s still holding it.
“Well, I guess everyone’s good for something,” he tells me before placing it back down.
“You mean what ya say about being a fast learner?” I check, we got a lotta work coming up over the next few weeks and we could use the extra hands.
“Yes, sir, I was raised right, I wouldn’t lie to ya.” Something about those big, brown eyes steer me into believing him. There don't seem to be no malice in the boy, and he’s proved that he’s strong.
“Come on, I’ll show ya to the bunkhouse.” I tie JD back up and lead the boy back out to the yard.
“This here's Garrett,” I introduce him to the boss. “Garrett, Hunter, he’s as green as pea soup but he’s strong,” I assure him.
“Pleased to meet ya.” Garrett holds out his hand.
“That guy there, who’s failin’ to get a hold on his filly, is Wade.” I gesture my head into the corral. “And that love-struck thing over there is Cole,” I point over to where he stands kissing Savannah. “They all own this place. It’s them who pay your wages and me who ensures you earn ‘em. You got that?”
“I got it.” The boy nods his head as he takes it all in.
“Follow me.” I lead him over to the bunkhouse.
Once inside I can see that it ain’t being kept the way it should be, there are dishes piled up in the sink and empty bottles scattered all over from the night before.
“Excuse the mess.” I lead the kid through the carnage, stopping when I get to Dalton’s bunk. His bed is still made up, he’s still got the poster of last June’s Buckle Bunny of the Month pinned to his wall, and it hurts like hell to think he’ll never sleep in here again.
“This one’s free.” I quickly move on, and stand beside the bunk in the corner. “You can get started straight away. First job ya got is to clean up this shit hole. We ain’t got much time for teachin’ so you’ll have to learn quick, and I wanna hear stories about you practicin’ your rope skills in your own free time. It’s hard graft, it’s shit pay, but there ain’t a life better than it.” I slap him on his big, burly shoulder before heading for the door.
“Mitch,” he calls out before I can leave, and when I turn around the boy’s wearing a huge grin on his face. “Thanks for taking a chance on me.”
“Everyone gets one, not many get a second,” I warn him before I leave to do some work.