Finding Love (Clumsy Little Hearts Trilogy #2)

CHAPTER 1

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Rachel

Rachel sank in her seat as she glided her hands over the rip in the faux leather cushion. She frowned and lifted her gaze to her twin brother, Ryan, catching the tail end of his eye roll from across the sticky table.

“Rach, I’m sorry that you’re hurting. But we both know Ian was not the one.” He wrapped his arm around Tess’s shoulder. Pressing a kiss to the top of his girlfriend’s blonde head, he sighed. “I mean, you said so yourself.”

I did.

But her chest ached with the unexpected loss. She cleared her throat and nodded. “I might have said that,” she mumbled and sipped her strawberry margarita.

“Then why are you taking this breakup with Ian so hard?” Ryan asked.

Rachel shrugged and gripped her glass, twirling the straw in a lazy circle as the roar of bar patrons at Highside filled her ears. She took another gulp and relished the cold liquid as it slid down her throat. The truth nagged at the back of her brain, pawing and pinching at her mind.

Admit it. You know why it hurts so much.

Rachel shook her head. “I guess,” she muttered and lifted her gaze to the TV screen, rolling a highlight reel of the Los Angeles Rams’ most recent victory. “I just assumed that when our relationship was over, it would have been me who ended it.”

And how terrible does that make me?

Tess picked at her fingernails and peeled the pink paint away from the nailbed. “I kinda thought so, too. I liked Ian, but...”

“Right?” Rachel groaned. “And I know how bad that makes me sound.” Raising her shoulders, she frowned. “I just thought we’d have a little more fun together and then we’d move on. He grew on me though. More than I expected him to.”

Ian’s hand clasped hers in a memory, squeezing her palm as a silly fun fact dripped from his endearing lips—until Ryan’s snort shattered the recollection.

“You cannot tell me you miss all the fun science facts. Or the Celestron.” He cringed. “Literally, that’s all the guy talked about... stars... and planets...”

That’s not true.

Rachel rolled her eyes. “I know he was a little nerdy.” She shrugged. “But there was a lot more to him that you didn’t get to see.”

“We spent a full weekend with the guy. Shared a tent, even!” Ryan’s eyes widened as he leaned forward. “Trust me. We saw—and heard—plenty.”

No. You saw the introverted Ian forced to be in a crowd. You didn’t get to know him one-on-one snuggled beneath the blankets on a Sunday morning.

Rachel sighed. “You don’t get it. I don’t expect you to.”

Reaching across the table, Ryan gripped her hand. “Here’s what I do get. I get that he made you happy. I get that he was meant for fun. And I get that it’s hard to be dumped.” As he shook his head, pity poured from his dark brown eyes, complementing the sad smile on his lips. “Ian wasn’t my favorite guy, but I’ll admit that if it were not for him and his fun facts, I may not have found my way back to Tess.”

Tess sucked in a breath as she turned, her wide-eyed gaze zeroing in on him. “Wait, what?”

Ryan’s cheeks flushed. “He just, ah, helped me see things from a new perspective.”

“He was good at that,” added Rachel.

He was good at a lot of things.

“Rach?” Tess hesitated. “Can I ask? What was his reason? Why’d he end it?”

Rachel pressed her lips together as the now-familiar squeeze in her heart throbbed deep within her chest. “Oh.” She swallowed the margarita returning from her stomach. “He said we were too different.”

“That’s it?” Tess frowned and popped a fried pickle in her mouth.

“Er, mostly.”

With a grin, Ryan tipped his beer glass to his lips and drained the last bit of liquid. He wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his sweatshirt. “What’s that supposed to mean? Mostly?”

Rachel folded her arms across her chest as the truth tickled her tongue. She sighed and lowered her gaze to her lap.

It’s kind of embarrassing.

“Rach?” Her brother’s foot bumped into hers beneath the table.

“He,” she started before sinking further into the booth. “He called me out. Apparently, I live my life for everyone else but myself.”

Ugh. Gosh, is he really right?

Tess’s eyes widened as she slurped the last bit of her white Russian. She cleared her throat before leaning into Ryan.

“He’s right.”

“No way.” Rolling her eyes again, Rachel propped her elbows on the table and stared at the tiny bit of squashed strawberry left at the bottom of her glass. “I just love my family, and I like seeing everyone happy! What’s so wrong with that?” Her palms smacked the surface of the table. “I mean, I might poke my nose in a bit—”

“Poke your nose in a bit?” Ryan barked out a laugh and nodded at the waitress as she cleared their empty drinks from the table. “Rach, your nose is so far into everyone’s business that it’s hard to breathe.”

She scowled. “That’s so unfair! And untrue!”

“Is it?”

“Come on, guys,” Tess murmured as the waitress returned in record speed with another round of drinks.

“Cheers, y’all,” she muttered and shuffled away, leaving behind the growing tension at the table.

“Rach.” Ryan sighed and tilted his head. “Ian has a point. I’m not saying that I’m not thankful for the support and encouragement you’ve shown us over the last few months.” He swung his arm over Tess’s shoulder again. “But to be fair, at times it felt like—”

“I was overstepping,” she added. Her stomach sank, nauseated by the recipe of truth and tequila beneath her nose. “I get it.”

Tess leaned forward and gripped her hand. “Please don’t be so hard on yourself. Maybe this is a sign. A good sign.”

My boyfriend just dumped me, and you guys are telling me I’m too overbearing. How can this be a good sign?

“How?”

“Tess is right.” Ryan readjusted the ball cap on his head, flipping the brim around to the back. “Maybe this is the universe’s way of telling you to prioritize yourself for once.” He nudged her beneath the table with his foot again. “Do what’s best for you. Not me and Tess. Not Rose and Cole. Do you, Rach. Think about what you want.”

“Me, huh?” Rachel brought the glass to her lips and sipped until the fresh strawberry liquor numbed her tongue. “What I want,” she repeated as the advice sank in. “Sure.”

But what do I want?

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Two hours later, Rachel stared at her laptop and scrolled through the most recent properties listed out of habit. With a sigh, she snuggled deeper under the covers and stretched her legs out sideways across the queen-sized bed.

Her gaze drifted to the empty space beside her—a stark reminder of Ian’s absence. “I miss you,” she whispered to the pillow. Disappointment settled in her gut, the reality of being single again souring her stomach.

Ryan has Tess. Rose has Cole. And I’m just the sad, pathetic Prescott sibling who can’t find love.

A breath left her lips as she closed the laptop and grabbed her phone. “I can’t believe I’m about to do this again.” With a scoff, Rachel logged in and refreshed her Bumble dating profile. Ian’s face appeared as her last match, and she quickly tapped the X in the corner.

She re-read her bio and cringed as both self-loathing and embarrassment tingled along her spine, the simple paragraph inducing a thin layer of sweat to appear on her forehead. Her eyes glossed over her previous words. An adventurous, free-spirited woman living life authentically. I value connection and thrive on deep conversations. Looking for an accountable man who is ambitious, generous, dependable, and values family.

Rachel scrunched her nose at the generic string of words. “This is stupid,” she whispered, but clicked save anyway.

Sadness crept into her soul, ready to jump start her heart with another pity party. “I don’t know what else to do though,” she whispered with a shrug.

How the fuck else am I supposed to prioritize myself?

Swallowing the sorrow building in her chest, she re-activated her profile and groaned as the first suggestion appeared on her screen. “Bobby,” she muttered. “Into L.A.R.P. and composting.” Rachel cringed. “Looking for a woman ready to role play—” With a snicker, she swiped left.

Sorry, Bobby. Not my cup of tea.

Andrew appeared on her screen next, his frosted tips a dead ringer for a winner at a 2001 Justin Timberlake lookalike contest. “Okay, Andrew, looking for a man or woman ready to mosh at the next rave—”

And nope.

Swiping left again, Rachel snorted and moved her laptop to the nightstand. She turned off the bedside lamp and tugged at the covers. Squinting at the bright glare on her phone screen, Keith’s face looked back as she pressed her cheek to the pillow. “And Keith, with a passion for breeding snakes, spiders, and rodents.” Her eyes widened as a smile tickled her lips.

Hard pass, Keith.

The next face appeared. Tripp’s sexy grin sent an immediate tingle racing along her skin, his bright blue eyes lifting her spirit as she read his profile. “An adrenaline junkie living life in the moment. I thrive on adventure and spontaneity. Looking for a woman ready to sleep beneath the stars and climb the tallest mountain.”

“Okay, Tripp. I probably won’t jump out of an airplane with you tomorrow, but I won’t turn down a rock-climbing adventure.” Rachel snickered and swiped right.

Can’t hurt to try.

Stephen’s face appeared next; his thick plastic-framed glasses resembled a large bug. “Stephen.” She grinned. “Computers, coding, and a CPA.” Swiping left, Rachel pressed her lips together.

No more accountants, please.

Ready to continue the split-second dating decisions with another flick of her finger, Rachel paused as a message appeared in her inbox—a note from Tripp. She clicked accept and a smile blossomed on her lips as she read the words addressed to her.

Hi Rachel. It’s nice to connect with you.

Gigging into the sheets, she eyed his sexy grin once more and tapped reply.