CHAPTER 24
Rachel
Rachel dropped the wet grocery bags on Miguel’s kitchen counter with a firm grasp on the little gold key to the backdoor. A can of condensed milk rolled and fell to the floor with a thump, competing with the slowly rumbling thunder outside.
“Damn it.” She bent forward and grabbed it. Sore and achy from the hours spent on her feet at the open house, Rachel gripped her back and grumbled. “That’s it. That’s the last time I’m ever wearing a pair of heels again.”
With a scoff, she kicked off the damp shoes and glanced at the email lighting up her phone screen. The confirmed, signed agreement for the Banks’ townhome had come through.
At least the open house was worth it today.
But the pit in her stomach grew. Ian’s unexpected attendance—and ensuing kiss—jumped to the forefront of her mind. Wading through the guilt resting heavy on her heart, Rachel leaned against the kitchen island and forced her eyes closed.
“I shouldn’t have let you kiss me like that,” she whispered. “What was I thinking?” Berating herself internally, she cringed.
If there’s one thing your kiss did though, it solidified every decision I’ve ever made since you left.
Rachel glanced around Miguel’s kitchen. To her right, her gaze lingered on his beloved coffee pot and the red mug beneath the spout. She lifted a finger and dragged it over the chipped Yellowcard logo.
A smile touched her lips. Growing with each passing second, Rachel basked in the swell of mounting affection, fully realizing the sweet and easy love she held for Miguel. “There’s no doubt in my mind now,” she whispered.
As if on cue, headlights streamed through the front window. Her stomach fluttered. Bouncing on the balls of her bare feet, she beamed at the front door until it opened.
“There you are!” she called, but her heart stalled at the cold, dead stare in his eyes.
“Hi.” He stepped inside and closed the door on the brewing autumn storm.
“Hi yourself.” Raising a brow, she stepped around the counter. Her toes touched the living room carpet as the pit in her stomach reopened. His abnormally rigid posture and tense muscles sent a chill down her spine. “Are you okay?”
Miguel shook his head.
“What’s wrong—”
“Rach, is there anything you’d like to tell me?” His uneasy tone interrupted her words and raised the hairs on the back of her neck.
“Like what?”
What is wrong with you?
“Did anything happen today?”
Rachel shrugged but stepped closer. Resting her hand on his arm, she squeezed. But the hard muscles beneath his skin offered no return affection.
“Ah, I sold the Banks’ townhome. Is that what you’re asking?”
His eyes narrowed. “That’s not what I’m asking.”
Beneath her chest, her heartbeat banged, and her pulse sped.
And with each heavy breath leaving his lips, his usually soft brown eyes turned colder, his stare a penetrating X-ray straight to her soul.
“Miguel, what’s wrong?” She tugged on his arm and gripped him around the middle. “Why are you acting like this?”
“You tell me, Sunshine.”
His voice held no trace of love. Hard and unforgiving, it pummeled against her ears as an inkling of panic squeezed her chest.
“Tell me about your lips, Raquel,” he whispered and lifted his hand. His thumb dragged along her bottom lip as his gaze bore into her.
Refusal beat at her brain.
No. There’s no way...
“Tell me who touched them today,” he added and stepped closer. Cupping her chin, he leaned in and pressed a soft kiss where his thumb just rested.
His fingers threaded through her hair with a sweet caress, unmatched by the anger in his eyes. “Because it wasn’t just me, was it?” he whispered.
Tears burned behind her lids. You know. How can you know? Rachel shook her head and leaned into the denial snaking around her heart. “It meant nothing,” she choked out. “Miguel, you don’t understand—”
He snorted and took a step back. Raising his arms, he dragged both hands through his hair in frustration. “Picture this. I walk into a room and find my girlfriend lip-locked with another man.”
A cold sweat blanketed her body. Shivering as the truth washed over her, Rachel gave in to the sob threatening escape. “Miguel—”
“Please tell me there’s a reason,” he begged before his gaze fell to the floor. “Please tell me there’s something here that I’m not seeing.”
“There is!” she shrieked and stepped forward. Wrapping her arms around him, she leaned against his chest. His heartbeat pounded, banging wildly in the tension-filled moment. “Ian kissed me.” She squeezed him tighter. “I didn’t ask him to. I didn’t want him to.”
He snorted again. “Rach, believe me when I say from what I saw, it sure as shit looked like you wanted him to.”
Tears leaked from her eyes. “Please let me explain,” she begged again and tugged him toward the living room sofa. Her butt sank onto the cushion, and he begrudgingly sat beside her. “I had no idea Ian was coming.” Panic flared in her heart, bringing a roar to her ears.
“Why did he?”
She scooted closer and gripped his knee. With a squeeze, she sniffled and shook her head. “He said he wanted to see the townhouse. But I-I-I swear, Miguel, I had no idea what his intentions were. I yelled at him, screamed at him even. He had no right showing up there like that.”
Miguel’s eyes fell, taking her stomach with it.
“I don’t even know what to say here, Rach.”
“Then don’t. Let me keep talking.”
He sank back into the couch. A heavy exhale escaped him. The sadness and turmoil emitting from his soul was like a stab wound to the chest.
“I told you he’s been texting me,” she continued, but gripped his knee harder. “I really thought I’d made myself clear. I asked him to move on and leave me alone.” Her gaze raked the living room before she pointed to the floor where the carpet met the tile. “Right there. The night you gave me the key to your home, I texted him in that exact spot. I told him it was over. For good.”
A cold chill coated her skin, leaving a damp layer of sweat behind. A sudden pang of sadness rippled through her, bringing with it the first inkling of fear.
What if you don’t believe me? What if you can’t see past this?
“Sunshine...” he mumbled and turned to meet her stare.
Rachel lifted a hand and cupped his warm cheek. Frowning at the hurt she’d caused swimming in his eyes, she gulped.
“I hated every second of it,” she said. “I hated his touch. His closeness. His taste...” Rachel gasped and swiped at the tears rolling down her face. “All I could think about was you. I don’t know how many more times I have to say it to him. To you. To myself. Miguel, Ian is my past. That’s all he’ll ever be. It’s you I want.”
His eyes softened as he tipped his head forward. “Then why’d you kiss him like that?”
She shuddered. “He took me by surprise. I didn’t know what was happening until it was too late. And the second I realized it was his final plea, all I could think about was you.”
Rachel rested her hand over his heart. Beneath his chest, the thump and bump pounded against her palm, raging with the emotions fueling the conversation. She stared at his slowly rising and falling chest beneath his black button-up shirt.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry, Miguel.”
With a sigh, he raised his hand and rested it over hers. Interlacing their fingers, he brought her palm to his cheek and leaned into her touch.
“Do you know how much it hurts, seeing you with another man?”
She shook her head. “No. But I can only imagine if it were the reverse.” With a shiver, Rachel swallowed as a memory swirled in her mind, an image of Miguel embracing Lauren...
He leaned in and rested his forehead against hers. “I love you,” he whispered. “I love you so goddamn much. But it felt like I was losing you, today.”
His words settled in her heart, sincere and shared in her very core. “I love you, too,” she murmured and brought her mouth to his.
Warm and willing, Miguel returned her kiss and infused his love and passion with every movement.
The butterflies flapping in her belly calmed and Rachel moved her kiss to his jawline. Nestling into the crook of his neck, she inhaled, ready to breathe in the coveted, comforting citrus scent of his skin. But the unmistakable smell of alcohol gripped her nose instead.
“Have you been at a bar?” Dragging her hand over his shirt collar, Rachel furrowed her brow.
Miguel shook his head and gripped his collar. Tugging the material toward his nose, he snorted. “No.” He inhaled and shrugged. “I guess I spilled a little.”
“Spilled what?”
“Wine.” He toyed with the buttons until the shirt split down the middle. Miguel pulled it off and tossed it aside, revealing a bare chest tarnished with red scars.
Rachel dragged a hand over his warm skin and relished the sudden flood of adrenaline gripping her body. With a coy grin, she tickled his stomach. “At the restaurant?”
He snickered. “Hmm?”
A flurry of nerve cells awakened as Rachel crawled onto his lap and gripped the back of his neck, grinning at the beginnings of his arousal beneath her bottom. “The wine,” she murmured and pressed another teasing kiss on his lips.
He moaned against her mouth. “No...” he muttered before lowering his hands to her waist. Miguel gripped her hips and shivered. “I went to see Lauren.”
What?
Where desire and relief had just flowed in her blood, ire and jealousy coursed through her veins. Rachel froze as the truth crashed into her. Lauren’s name was the source of weakness. She pulled away with hurt in her heart.
“You went to Lauren?”
Miguel narrowed his eyes but held his grip firm on her waist. “She’s my friend. I was hurting, Rach. I didn’t know any of that stuff you just told me until now.”
The breath in her lungs left in a single rush. Her vision fogged and a roar reclaimed her ears. Shaking her head, Rachel plastered a false smile on her lips and fell from his lap.
You walk in on me and Ian. And the first thing you do is run to—
“Lauren,” she whispered. “I guess you would go to her, wouldn’t you?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Miguel wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and stood.
She rolled her eyes. “Oh, please. Don’t pretend like you don’t know.”
“Know what?” Pacing the small space between the sofa and front window, he dragged both hands through his dark hair again. The signature sign of his frustration grew with each rake of his fingers.
“I can’t believe you’d go to her. The one person you know who would hurt me more than anything.”
“Hurt you?” He scowled. “I fucking walked in on you kissing another man, Sunshine!”
Rachel slapped her hands against the couch. “And I just explained to you what happened!”
“So, you expect me to move on in ten seconds flat?”
Rachel shot to her feet. Anger rippled through her body, simmering beneath the surface of her skin. With a sneer, she pointed at the bulge still present beneath his pants. “You seemed over everything just seconds ago. Don’t fucking pretend otherwise.”
Miguel raked a hand over his scruffy chin. Scoffing with disbelief, he stomped into the kitchen and leaned into the corner of the counter beside the refrigerator.
“I can’t believe this,” he whispered and folded his arms over his bare chest. “You’re the one kissing another man, but somehow I just became the bad guy here.”
Oh, fuck you.
The fury swelled. Consuming her chest, Rachel choked on the laugh boiling in her belly. “My God, you really don’t see it, do you?”
“See what?”
“Damn it!” she roared and followed him into the kitchen. “Miguel, you’ve admitted to me what feelings you have for Lauren! How—”
“Had,” he corrected in a firm tone. “Had.”
“Don’t lie to me.” She shook her head and brushed the hair away from her face. “If those feelings were in the past, you wouldn’t have run straight to her door the second—”
“I am not at fault here!” he bellowed.
“Yes, you are!” she yelled back. Stepping around the counter, Rachel stood before him. Courage blossomed in her soul as the bold words reached the tip of her tongue. “Admit it, Miguel.”
Do I really want to accuse you of this?
But her lips parted anyway. “You ran to Lauren today because you still have feelings for her. You’ll always have feelings for her.”
Mitch’s words echoed in her ears and raged in her bloodstream like a sailor lost at sea. The truth reached the shore as fear looked back on Miguel’s handsome face.
The fear of losing me? The fear of losing us? Or maybe this isn’t about me at all. It’s about her.
“Ian just gave you an excuse today,” she continued, the insecure thoughts in her heart spewing from her lips.
Miguel opened his mouth as if to speak, but not a single word escaped. Instead, he lifted his gaze to hers and his eyes swam with sadness. “You are so wrong, Rachel Prescott. I don’t know where the hell all of this is coming from, but I have been nothing but truthful with you. I went to Lauren because no matter what feelings I’ve had for her in the past, she’s still a trusted friend.” He snorted and rolled his eyes. “And believe it or not, Sunshine, when I told her what I saw, she actually searched for every possible reason, gave you every benefit of the doubt. She defended you and told me to come find you. To talk through this...”
Rachel smashed her eyes closed. “So, she convinced you to come talk to me.”
“She did.”
“Are you saying you weren’t going to hear me out? You just assumed I was sneaking around behind your back with my ex-boyfriend?”
With a heavy breath, Miguel gripped his forehead. “What is happening here?”
“You tell me.”
His muscles flexed as he readjusted his arms. “You and I have never had—”
Rachel rolled her eyes. “First time for everything.”
A shiver rippled through her. The rift between them widened, hardening her heart at the anger and confusion swimming in his eyes.
“Sunshine, I’m at a loss here. I walked into a room and saw you kissing another man. I panicked.” With a shrug, he swallowed, and his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down. “I got in the car and drove. I’m sorry that my gut reaction was to seek out Lauren.”
Rachel shook her head. “I don’t understand why your gut reaction wasn’t to talk to me.”
His fingers tapped the edge of the counter as he sucked in a breath.
“You say you love me, but—”
“I do love you, Raquel! More than anything!” Miguel yelled and roughly stuffed his hands in his pockets. “I don’t know what else I have to do to make that clear!”
“Stop fucking running to Lauren!” she screamed as the emotions erupted, fueled by self-doubt.
“You make it sound like I do it all the time!” He lifted his hands and cupped the back of his neck again. “I literally walked into a room and saw another man’s hands all over you! I needed a friend! How are you not seeing this?”
Her vision fogged as his words blasted into her. “And how are you not seeing that your friendship with Lauren is a problem for me? Damn it, Miguel! On our first date you admitted to me every single feeling you’ve felt for her!” She stomped her foot.
“And I’ve told you. Over and over and over again. I do not have those feelings for her anymore!”
“How can I believe that? The first thing you did was run into her arms today!”
“We’re talking in fucking circles.” Groaning in unison with the air-conditioning unit humming to life, he sidestepped her and placed a single foot on the bottom stair. “Rach, I think you should go,” he whispered. “We’re not going to see eye-to-eye on this.”
Sorrow squeezed her heart. The defeated look on his face mirrored her own. But as her lips opened to plead for a continued conversation—for a chance to try and repair the damage—he spoke the words that broke her soul in two.
“Please leave your key on the counter.”
His footsteps echoed as he climbed the stairs—each step forward, a step away from the love they’d found—and subsequently shattered together over their own insecurities.