Chapter 13
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Sally
With Leon cradled in Jaxon’s arms, we leave the room. Oliver’s hand wraps around mine as we walk through the party and to his Jeep. I look over my shoulder as Jaxon lets out a soft laugh as Leon tells him something.
It didn’t occur to me when he offered to drive, but Oliver is going to see where I’m staying—the same place we spent so many nights.
“Head down this road,” I say, feeling the nerves start to bounce around in my stomach. His hand is still intertwined with mine, and I don’t want to let go. I swallow. “Go down until you hit Millwood Road, and then it should be the third road on the left.
His hand tightens around my fingers, and his body goes rigid, but he doesn’t say anything. He’s been in Alliance his whole life, so he knows the roads like the back of his hand.
My head turns toward the backseat, not wanting to see his expression.
I can’t help the smile that forms with Leon still huddled in Jaxon’s lap. I don’t think Leon will actually be fully conscious until he rests, but right now, he’s whispering into Jaxon’s chest, and the blond brute is smiling.
Abruptly, the car turns, and my eyes meet with Oliver’s unreadable expression. I look through the car and see my childhood home. Oliver lets go of my hand, and I miss it already, but he’s turning to me.
“Sally, why are we here?” Oliver asks, his sea-green eyes looking more like storm clouds now.
I swallow as Ella gets out, along with Jaxon and Leon. “It’s where we are staying.” I try to give him a smile, but even that hurts.
Oliver continues to stare at me. “Here, of all places? Why are you staying here?”
I know what he wants to ask. He wants to ask why I’m staying at his childhood friend’s home. Why am I staying at a place that just recently became vacant? I’m not ready to give the answer.
“It’s where we are staying while we handle some family business,” I answer with a cool, fake smile as he turns to stare at the house.
He opens his mouth, but I hop out of the Jeep, heading toward the house. Jaxon and Ella are already inside as I walk up the steps.
“This isn’t just some house, Sally,” he starts before raking his eyes over the structure. Pain storms through his darkened eyes. “This is his house. Why are you staying at Simon’s house?”
I bite back the urge to correct him, saying it’s her house. He’s not even looking at me. His eyes stay on the house, burning every feature that’s been left untouched since my donors' deaths.
His face twists, blinking back whatever emotion might spill from them. Anger. Sadness. I don’t know, but his hands cover his face, and his voice crumbles. “Why here?”
I need to tell him soon, but tonight is not the night.
“Sally.” Oliver looks at me with a clenched jaw. Looks like he’s moved from being sad and overwhelmed to letting his anger and frustration out. I don’t miss his eyes glistening.
“I don’t have time to talk about this,” I say dryly, finding whatever courage I can muster up to push forward. The next words come out shakily. So much for staying strong. “Leon almost got taken advantage of.”
“Shit.” He looks down, losing whatever energy he has, but his face remains hardened, not letting it go. “Please?”
“You are welcome to come in,” I say, and he looks up at me, his face reminding me of a scared puppy that was just kicked by his owner. I’m the one kicking him. “But I’m going to help my little brother.”
If I were stronger, I would have turned on my heel immediately, not even staying to watch what he does, but here I am, still looking at his glistening eyes, just barely visible. You can’t even see the green with the porch light behind me.
I want him to follow.
He stares at me with a tornado of emotions. Anger or sadness, maybe both, or something in between. I can see his shoulders trembling lightly. I don’t think he could step forward even if he wanted to.
I take a deep breath and turn on my heel with his eyes boring into me, or maybe not even looking into me. His eyes look through me and at the house. I walk into the house, deciding to leave the door open slightly.
He doesn’t come in.
I hate this room each time I come into it. The room screams boy, and it’s because of that I’ve spent most of my time out of the room.
Now I’m left staring at the ceiling with the stupid fucking basketball hoop my birth dad put up.
The white strings look brand new except for the layer of dust that discolors them.
Not a single ball has passed through them, not even when Oliver would sneak in here through the sliding door.
Now, those memories feel dirty with my lies.
I scrunch my face, turning on my side, which makes everything worse because now I’m staring at the little shelf holding what few memories I made.
All the picture frames are still turned down.
That was the little bit of solace I could give myself while being in this room.
Turning them away from me meant I wouldn’t break every single frame that held false happiness.
It stopped me, but it didn’t erase the sickness in my stomach.
The anxiety at every creak in this rustic house.
My eyes dance around the room, not able to stay in the same spot for too long. They make their way to the sliding glass, vacant of any curtain shielding my room from the outside. I didn’t want anything to prevent Oliver from knocking on my door.
My stomach lurches again, forcing me to sit up as the image of Oliver’s twisted up face comes to the front of my mind.
I get out of bed, feeling the ick running through my body. Being in this house isn’t helping me. I walk out of the room, the house groaning as I walk through the hall to the living room.
As I come into the open space, I notice Ella walking into the room at the same time.
My eyes lower to the dark blue t-shirt that I have never seen her wear and a silk purple bandana pulling her curls out of her face.
She usually just wears shorts and a sleep top—definitely not a guy’s shirt that drapes down to her mid-thigh.
My eyebrow raises.
“Don’t give me that look.” She rolls her eyes. “What are you doing up?”
“What about you?” I say with a bit more bite than intended.
“Whatever, I’m going back to bed.” Ella turns back around.
“Wait.” I sigh. “Sorry, I’m just on edge.”
“I can tell,” she says dryly before facing me again. “But so am I. Mimi has been apologizing nonstop since I told her what happened, so be prepared for that tomorrow.”
I chuckle softly at the image of Mimi when she apologizes because the girl is a crier, which isn’t bad, but it doesn’t stop even if we are in public.
“I just came in here to check up on Leon and…” She stops, but I’m pretty sure I know who she was about to say. I mean, she’s wearing his shirt right now.
“Ella, I’m sorry.” I bite my bottom lip. “I shouldn’t have thrown your relationships in your face.”
“It definitely hurt my pride a little.” Her lip twitches. “I shouldn’t have said anything either.”
“Those trips are so stupid, but I didn’t know what else to do.” I deleted the app before even starting this trip. I said it was because I had more important things to be doing, but really it was fear. Fear that someone in town would recognize me. “They were pretty dangerous.”
Ella’s face fills with a grin, bright like the sun. “You fucking think? Why else did you think I stayed up instead of getting my beauty sleep? I just wish you told me about them.”
My eyes widen, not realizing she stayed up waiting each time. “I didn’t want to worry you.”
“After last year, of course, I worry about you.”
Another knife in the chest filled with another lie. I don’t want Ella to know what I actually went through. She just knew I was talking to a guy, and he broke my heart. It’s true. He did break my heart, but he also broke so much more.
Is that why I’m obsessed with keeping Oliver in my life? Not because he saved me, but because I’m using him like all those other men?
I look over the couch, seeing Leon sound asleep with a blanket pulled over him, and then Jaxon, shirtless now because of Ella, with his back against the side of the couch.
I smile. Jaxon was so soft with my little brother. Truthfully, the blond kind of scared me when I first saw him. He has a gruff, dangerous exterior that reminds me of Lotte, but he helped Leon without hesitation.
“I approve,” I say, catching Ella off guard. “He’s a good guy.”
Ella’s normal confidence flees her face as she looks down. “I like him a lot more than I thought I would.”
“Is he a good kisser?” The question causes what little confidence she was maintaining to steam off as her face heats.
“It will do.” She plays it off as I walk over and pull her into a hug.
I smirk at Ella. She raises her brow at me. “What?”
“Nothing,” I say quickly, looking away with a small smile tugging on my lips as I back away from her.
Ella’s dated both men and women before, but she’s never really been invested before. Maybe this will be different.
“You need to call Moms.”
My face falls. I haven’t talked to them since we started this trip, and they haven’t reached out at all. “They haven’t called me.”
“True, but you also haven’t called them, and this is kind of a big trip. They want to give you space to grieve and process.”
“There’s nothing to grieve,” I snap.
“Sally.”
“I know, I know.” I sigh. “I’ll call them later, okay?” She nods. I don’t even know what I will say to them.
Hey, Moms, turns out I have no fucking idea what I’m doing or want from this, and now I’m left with more questions than answers.
I just need to find more of those letters, but that might also be an excuse to spend more time with Oliver.