Chapter 21
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Sally
I wanted the bottle to land on Oliver so fucking badly. But it landed on Brandon, who’s a very nice guy, but he holds none of my interest.
Then, out of nowhere, Oliver comes marching in like he owns the place. The floodgates opened the minute he stared me down and took my hand. But now that we’re here, I’m not sure how to handle his presence.
I want to hold onto him like he’s a lifeline, but this can’t happen even if I want it to. My hand slips from his, and I back away from him, pushing my back to the wall. Oliver is still smirking at me when my eyes finally drag up to meet his.
I never knew Oliver to be this cocky, but we are both completely different people now. He’s the man that this town loves, and he loves it in return. I’m the outsider looking in one last time before she shuts the door forever.
We don’t work.
“Why don’t you go back to Jade?” I snap with a halfhearted flare. “She was all over you tonight.”
His jaw ticks. “None of that matters.”
I hate the fiery pile of jealousy that’s been stewing in my gut all night. There’s no reason to be jealous. Jade is gorgeous, and according to Ella, they’ve had a summer fling before.
They make sense. We don’t.
I double down. “This isn’t a good idea, Oliver.”
His jaw ticks again. “And I don’t care about good ideas. Be selfish with me.”
He starts to inch forward, holding his hand out hesitatingly, like he’s scared I will run away. He’s right, I probably would run away at the first available opportunity. If I don’t run away, then I’ll want to stay.
“I’m…”
My teeth suddenly clamp down on my bottom lip to keep my words from falling out.
I’m trans. Two words that my brain truly thinks will end this whole interaction.
I can’t think of any other way to stop him now that he’s in my space.
Yet, I also don’t want to say it because he makes me feel things I don’t deserve.
I smell him and feel his warmth. I don’t want him to stop, but he needs to, or there will be no going back.
“You’re what, princess?” Oliver asks, taking another step toward me.
“I’m leaving,” I murmur. “I’m never going to come back here.”
He lets out a scoff that throws me off guard. “Still talking about that?”
“You’re being ridiculous, Oliver. Enjoy your summer, and forget about me.”
“Do you honestly think I could forget about you?” Oliver levels me with a look.
You don’t even recognize me, so can it really be that difficult?
I simply nod, and he narrows his eyes into a glare while his teeth grind together.
“Can we please just see where this goes?”
“Oliver—”
“Sally, are you okay?” Ella’s voice comes through the door. “It’s been fifteen minutes. Stay quiet if you want me to kick this door down and punch a twink in the throat?”
Oliver looks at the door like he wants to be upset at the interruption, but he can’t help the amused noise that comes out.
I give him a soft smile before walking past him, feeling his gaze with each step. A shiver crawls up my spine as Oliver comes up behind me. Heat radiates off his body as I unlock and open the door.
Ella stands in the hall with an impatient look. She looks ready to barrel in here, beat up the person behind me, and then make sure I’m okay. I love my sister.
She stops when her eyes land past me and on Oliver. She doesn’t look as shocked to see him as I thought she would be. All she does is give me a look that says, We are going to talk about this later.
“Ollie, you good?” a voice I’m not familiar with sounds behind Ella.
Jade stands behind Ella with her arms folded across her chest as she glances at Oliver. I want to hate her, but I can't because she's effortlessly beautiful and the perfect girl for him. She’s the personification of a beach babe.
“I need to leave,” I say to my sister, and I can feel Oliver’s intense glare from behind me.
“Sally, we weren’t done.” I can hear the bite in his tone, but I can’t stomach the thought of actually looking at him. “What were you going to tell me?”
“It doesn’t matter. I don’t like you like that.” The biggest lie I’ve told tonight.
Before he can stop me, I bolt from the room and out of the house.
I’ve made many terrible decisions in the name of freedom and adventure. My recklessness comes from not wanting to be confined to my skin. I want to see the world out there and give it the middle finger.
Risk. That’s what gets my blood pumping. Standing on the edge of a roof, the speed of a roller coaster, cliff diving, and even walking alone at night…I need them all to feel alive.
I don’t hold my life in high regard. If I had seen a therapist for more than a few sessions, we might have gotten to that part of my broken brain.
Maybe that’s why I always cling to these hookups, even when I hate myself the next day. I want the risk, along with the false affection they give me. That’s the reason I’ve been walking for the past ten minutes. I re-downloaded a hookup app and found someone to fill the void.
He said there’s a motel, just like the one I went to all last year, only a fifteen-minute walk from the house.
The motel looks just as run down as the one outside of Darien. I guess these places will always be used for fetish seekers and the ones willing to pay the price.
I walk up to the room. I read the message again, telling me there’s already a room ready for us.
“Sally.”
Chills stab at my spine. This can’t be happening. Why am I hearing him, of all people? Fear prickles my skin as his image pops in my head.
It can’t be him. He wouldn’t be here during the summer. He wouldn’t be on the app looking for someone like me.
I retrace every conversation I had with Dalton. They almost feel like distant memories, a fantasy of what could have been, of what I wanted but can never have.
“Sally,” he says again, and then I feel his hand brush my elbow.
Finally, my body reacts, pulling away from his touch and slapping his arm away.
“Aww, baby, don’t give me that look.”
I throw daggers at him. This is the first time I’ve seen him since graduation. We stayed out of each other’s way all of senior year. Why is he here?
He’s here to break me again.
“Wh—why are you here?” I ask, trying to steel my nerves against him, but the tremor in my voice betrays me.
“For you, baby.” His grin increases, and my nerves spike more than before. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you for a while. Who would have thought you’d come all the way to my favorite vacation town.”
My heart roars in my ears, and blood pumps hot through my body.
He’s been watching me. How long has he known I’ve been here? The cove fires. Did he see me on my outings with Oliver?
Dalton inches toward me.
The fear cements my feet to the ground. He takes a step forward with a wicked grin. With some effort, my feet break from their restrictions.
But my escape is short-lived as he grabs my wrist, wrenching it back toward him.
I gasp as he pushes me into the motel room door, my head knocking back into the wood with a hard thud. Both of my wrists are restrained against the door as he presses his chest into mine.
My breaths come out short, trying to find any sort of air so I can scream.
“Let me go before I scream!” I bite out.
He lets out a bitter laugh before gripping my wrists harder. I wince from the pain.
“No one’s around. I lied about the motel. This one has been abandoned for a few years.”
“Why are you doing this to me?”
“I want you to give me another chance.” Now, it’s my turn for a bitter chuckle.
“You lost that chance when you took those photos of me.”
“Who do you think reported the phone?” he questions but doesn’t give me enough time to answer. “You look just as beautiful as that night.”
My nightmares creep to the front of my mind. I can still see the room, his smile that I thought was charming but held so much wickedness. The phone in his hand as I drifted off to sleep, not a care in the world, only to wake up and have the rug ripped out from beneath me.
“The most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. I can’t wait to rip these clothes off, play with you all night.”
“You really are obsessed with my dick.”
His right-hand leaves my wrist and grabs my neck, forcing out a gasp.
“Don’t fucking talk about that. I’m not gay.”
My free hand pushes against his chest, but my strength starts to wane from his grip.
“Are you afraid of Daddy’s judgment? Afraid he won’t love a son that wants to fuck a trans woman?”
His grip tightens, and my body burns under his touch, and the demons swirl in his eyes.
“You think I’d take it up the ass?!” he screams at me making no sense at all as my hand claws at his chest to push him away. “Why don’t I show you who takes it up the ass? Be a good little whore just like then, and fucking take it.”
With the last bit of strength my body can muster, I push him away enough that my knee shoots up into his crotch.
He groans in pain, falling to the floor. I gasp for air, my lungs expanding to take in as much as they can. My neck still burns, and feels like his hands are still on it.
I take off as fast as possible away from the motel.
“I still have those photos!” Dalton calls after me, and I stop. “I couldn’t get rid of them because I needed jerk-off material.”
Nausea rolls through my stomach. I can’t throw up right now, not until I’m safe.
“I might just send those to a few people.” His threat lingers in the air, but now the air is too thick to breathe.
I run. I run all the way home. Not once on the way home do I look back to make sure I’m safe.
It isn’t until I see the house that my feet even think of slowing down. As I walk toward the sliding glass door, my legs shake with every step.
Dalton is the reason I have hang-ups about so many parts of my life, but I still can’t believe he would go to this extreme.
“Princess.”
My head shoots to the side with wide eyes at the husky voice.
Oliver is walking toward me with a determined look in his eyes.
Why is he here? I can’t take any more pain tonight. I want to fall into bed and then figure out how to handle my life.
“Sally, I know we’ve been dancing around this, but I’m tired of pretending we don’t lik—”
He stops as I shift farther away. My panicked expression must set off his concern as his eyes roam my body until he lands on my neck.
His eyes darken further, and his jaw clenches. He points at me. “Who did this to you?”
I open my mouth to answer, but I’m not sure what I'm supposed to say.
Oliver turns on his heel, ready to run to wherever his mind is racing. “I’m going to effing kill him.”
Realization hits me. Brandon.
He must think Brandon did this to me.
I lunge forward before Oliver can take off, taking his jacket into my fists.
He stops in his tracks, turning around as I shift my grip to his shirt. The scent of the water and beach fills my body with a calming sensation.
I don’t want him to leave. I never have.
My gaze finds itself drawn to his, my hazel eyes trying to find light in the storm clouds of his.
“Please don’t leave,” I beg. “It wasn’t Brandon, I swear.”
Oliver’s expression softens. Something flashes through him, and those storming eyes flare up with intensity once again.
“Who hurt you?”
“No one you know,” I whisper.
“Sally, seeing you hurt is driving me crazy. Please let me help you.” His voice breaks, and I feel him start to shake as well.
“I don’t think you can fix me, Oliver,” I answer truthfully.
Oliver’s hands ball into fists. “I don’t want to fix you, Sally.”
“I don’t understand.”
“You can’t fix what isn’t broken, and you’re not broken.” His voice is firm and undeniable.
The words sound true as day, but they don’t make sense to me. I’ve viewed myself as damaged goods, unable to find any sort of love, for such a long time. How can he say all of this like he knows for certain I’m still worth all the trouble?
“Please make me forget, even if it’s for a second. I don’t want to remember what the universe made me into.”
His teeth grit together once again before his hands come to cup my face, making sure we are staring into each other’s eyes. His eyes finally show that color of blue-green that I love getting lost in.
“Fuck it. Can I kiss you?”
I’m already nodding before he even finishes.
Oliver brings his lips down on mine in a sweet, gentle kiss that caresses my face. Tingles surge through my body, but something feels lacking.
His hands cup my face like I’m a fragile doll that could break at any moment. I might feel broken, but I’m not fragile. I don’t want to feel like that anymore.
I love the feeling of his lips. I love how he wants me to feel precious, but I’m not, and I never will be. I need to feel unbreakable, but he’s trying too hard to be a gentleman.
I grimace and pull away from the caress. “Oliver, I haven’t been treated gently my entire life. If you are going to kiss me, fucking kiss me.”
He looks at me for a second, almost assessing if he can actually follow my instructions. He must have found his answer because the next moment, everything shifts in him.
Oliver crashes into my lips in an all-consuming kiss.