Chapter 2
Chapter
Two
PHOENIX
“Big mama in the house I said big mama in the house, watch your mouth.” I joked when I saw Makayla and my Godbaby Genesis entering the doors.
“Girl, stop that noise before you piss me off; you know I’m still trying to get this baby weight off in time for the wedding,” Makayla said, walking over to our usual seat in the café. She made it a point to come and have breakfast or lunch with me twice a week to ensure she wasn’t overworking herself.
Makayla is my cousin’s fiancé and my best friend; we first met here after not seeing each other for years. My girl is a survivor; her story is one that most people wouldn’t have made it through, but she did. Her sienna skin was glowing and blemish-free, making me wish I had taken after my Granny with her dark skin, too. My honey-toned skin was littered with scraps and dark marks from always being so clumsy.
“You better stop before I tell Bry Bry you're over here talking trash about yourself; you know that man would be quick to pull out those affirmations and have you recite them as if you were giving a motivational speech.” We busted out laughing at that because it was true. Brian does not play when it comes to his baby girl talking down on herself.
Makayla wiped the tears from her eyes, and Genesis started looking between us from her stroller, trying to figure out what was so funny. Those inky black curls covered her entire head. She came out of the womb with a head full of hair. She got mine and Granny’s eyes; one was hazel and the other dark brown. The heterochromia iridium gene is so strong in my family.
“Hi baby love, you look so cute today.” I cooed at her, and she grabbed my hand, trying to force it into her mouth.
“Aht aht, baby, you can’t eat her fingers. I know your uncle has been here lately, so you don’t know what she's been up to!” Makayla laughed at the glare I directed her way.
“Bish, you better stop talking like that around my baby. How in the world do you know that man has been up here? I didn’t even get to tell you yet.” I had our orders come out when she texted me that they were five minutes away.
She pulled out some wet wipes and hand sanitizer to clean our hands, and we went to town.
“Girl, you know that’s my brother. He tells me everything. He fussed at Brian about not having security here to ensure everyone was safe, and of course, B started questioning why he cared so much. Guess what Ken said?” I didn’t want to guess because all he seemed to do was talk with no action to back it up.
“Tell me, Kay, you know you can’t hold spilled water,” I said offhandedly, hoping she couldn’t hear the want in my voice.
Makayla grabbed my hand and squeezed it, “He said he’ll tear up the city if something happened to you, and I believe it. The one thing they all have in common is the crazy gene; Brian, Levi, and Kendrix are all willing to do whatever it takes to protect the women they love. I know he has been giving you mixed signals lately, but I can tell he loves you, but something is holding him back.”
If her words were nothing else, they were true. I have seen all of them in their darkest days, and it can be scary at times, but I was confident they would never cause us any physical harm.
“I am positive that’s true, but Kendrix has been messing with my heart for years, so I don’t understand why he’s trying to apply all this energy now. He needs to leave me alone; that is what I want.” My heart clenched at the thought of him leaving me alone, but maybe it was better when he avoided my gaze and barely spoke a few words to me.
For some reason, something shifted when Genesis was born, and he’s been somewhat friendly to me, but I couldn’t get that day he kissed me at Granny’s party out of my head but more importantly, what decision needed to be made.
“Happy birthday to you, dear Lucy, happy birthday to you.” The family sang happily, and everyone important to her could make it. Granny turned sixty-seven today, and we threw her a surprise party. Asha helped us plan it all, and everything was perfect.
“Thank you, family. You all made this old lady’s heart happy. It feels good to have my family here with me. Now, let’s have fun!” She blew out the candles, and the party got started. I turned to see Michael, a guy I used to know from my childhood; he saw me out and about, and we found out we had some stuff in common. Since I was determined to get over Kendrix, I was letting him entertain me for the time being. Everyone swore he was my boyfriend, and I let them believe whatever they wanted to. Michael has visited me a few times in my city, and he knows Granny, so I thought it was only right to invite him tonight.
“I’ll be back; I need to corrupt the birthday girl.” I smiled at Michael, whose handsome face was bobbing to the music. He was dressed very simply but still sexy for the occasion; the GG denim knee-length shorts were loose enough but did not hide the bulge I felt one too many times when he hugged me from behind. It was paired with a cream t-shirt that matched the Gucci symbols on the shorts. His low caesar cut was swimming with waves, and the glistening of his pecan-colored skin made my lady parts tingle a bit. Michael has always been fine, but I was always focused on somebody else to notice.
“Be good, Phoenix.” He tapped my ass before I went over to drop it low with Gran, Asha, and Makayla.
Uncle Luke was booming through the speakers, and Gran showed us exactly how she managed to stay married to my granddad for so many years before he died.
“Aye, Mama Lucy, get it, girl!” Makayla said, turning up the energy.
We danced for a few more songs before Brian came over and pulled Granny up from her squat twerk. The knees still work, I see.
“Aye, let me talk to you for a minute.” Kendrix’s voice said in my arms, and he pulled me into the house, out of sight of everyone.
“Get off of me, Kendrix. What is wrong with you?” Who does he think he is manhandling me like that?
“The only thing wrong with me is you thinking you can disrespect me like this. Why did you bring that fool here with you? You must have wanted my attention that bad… guess what, Jewel? You got it.” His head whipped to the side so quickly from the slap he damn sure deserved .
“Let me tell you something Kendrix, I don’t have time for you and your bullshit. If you haven’t noticed, I have moved on to bigger and better things, so don’t you dare accuse me of being an attention whore. It is not my fault you can’t make up your mind as to whether you want me or not. I made it easier for the both of us and took the option off the table.”
He stared at me with his piercing gaze, not once saying a damn word, his lip was bleeding a bit, and I almost felt bad. This aggressive behavior was not me, but he always brought out this side; I was usually well-mannered and pretty quiet with every other man.
“You think I’m fazed by that shit I’m not… in fact I love it rough. I would much rather be deep inside you while you slap me like that. Get rid of him, Phoenix, before I do, and the only person you are fooling is him. I know you better than I know myself.” His hands pulled me flush against him, and my body reacted in the way it always did for him.
Needy.
Wanting.
Helpless.
“Fuck you Kendrix, you won’t ever get that chance again. Let. Me. Go.” I pushed at his chest with each word.
I could feel the anger rolling off of him, but it didn’t concern me one bit. I was mad, too, at his audacity.
“Please, for once, let me go, Kendrix. I can’t keep doing this with you.” He held onto me tighter than before.
“I’m sorry, you’re right; I would never call you an attention whore. But I stand by what I said: get rid of him.” He kissed my forehead and returned to the party like he didn’t shake up my world.
Needing a few moments to control my feelings, I grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and went back outside to talk to Michael. Kendrix will have to stand by his word because Michael is going nowhere.
“Are you okay? I was about to come and check up on you. You look a bit flushed.” Michael is a charming guy; I needed this for a change of pace.
“It’s hot out here, but I am okay. Come dance with me.” I turned my back to him, and he wrapped his arms around me.
“That Girl” by Jah Cure gave me all the feels, so I whined my hips to the beat. Michael was mumbling the words in my ear, and I closed my eyes for a minute, enjoying the peace that came with him. Opening my eyes when I felt his energy from across the yard, he was nursing a drink and looking right at me with a smirk on that annoying face.
Kendrix would not ruin this for me. Placing both hands on my knees, I rolled my hips with purpose. Music always took me to a different place, and it didn’t matter who was watching; I would dance like it was my last time.
“Keep doing it just like that, Phoenix,” Michael grumbled, rubbing small circles on my back and hip. I tuned out everyone else and rode the beat, ticking to the different instruments and musicality .
Feeling someone scoop me up by my shoulders off Michael, my back hit the white wooden gate. It didn’t hurt, but I still gasped anyway because Kendrix had me hemmed up. His big hand dragged my leg around his waist, and the other gripped the back of my neck. Those eyes were squinting at me like he was trying to figure something out.
“You must have really bumped your head, Jewel; I almost pulled out my gun for him touching you like that.” He hissed out against my neck. Tuning out everyone else around us, I focused on what Kendrix was saying without saying. It hurt his heart to see me in the arms of another man; the way it was beating out of his chest told me that much.
“Get over it, Kendrix. There are plenty of men who would want to be with me. I don’t have to wait for you, and I refuse to do it any longer. Granny raised me to be a strong black woman who won’t put up with anything from a man… even when that man is you. You can walk out that door if you won’t give me what I need.” I blinked a few times to stop the tears from falling.
“I want you… I need you, but there are things you don’t know about, and I can’t fix them right now. It’s all too complicated, but I can’t do this, watch you be with someone else when you know you belong to me.” He pressed his forehead to mine, and I closed my eyes for a second. I relished this rare moment with him when he was the man who cared for me in college. The one who fu lfilled a promise from my cousin to look after me and made good on it until one day, he changed.
“Please let me down, Ken; I don’t know what you want me to do with that information,” I whispered tearfully, wishing he would leave it be.
Leave me be.
“Kiss me, and I’ll stop sabotaging you. But know this: I will get all my ducks in a row and trust when I do. You will be mine, Phoenix.”
Pressing my lips to his for a quick peck, I tried to pull away, but he growled in protest. Ken slowly sucked my bottom lip into his mouth, eliciting a moan from me, which gave him access to make love to me with his tongue. He smelt so good it was overpowering all of my senses. Ken slowly grounded his hips into me to the melody of the music still playing; I rocked against him, swallowing his low groans. He finally let me come up for air and kissed all over my face, and I stupidly giggled. The mischievous grin that slowly rose on those thick lips had my already beating heart and clit throbbing with uncontainable pleasure.
“Your boyfriend has one more time to touch me, and I will put a bullet through his hand. Give me one more kiss, and I’ll let you down.” His gruff tone could make me come undone all of its own. Kendrix was as stubborn as an ox, so he would keep his charade up if I refused to listen. One last kiss that left us both panting, and he removed my leg from his waist and slowly lowered my feet back to the ground. His hard-on made me hiss when he gave me one last feel .
My legs were wobbly, and the sudden embarrassment that filled me at the look on everyone’s face, including Michael, caused me to hang my head and beeline for the house. Asha walked over and laced my arm through hers before walking with me into the house, my bodyguard. She took us upstairs to my old room here and locked the door behind us.
The look in her eyes was unreadable until a blinding smile took over. She started jumping up and down, clapping her hands.
“I know Ms. Goody-Goody did not almost have sex with Kendrix outside for the whole family to see, including the man you are currently seeing. What the hell is going on Nix!” She was rocking the hell out of her black romper; her toned thighs looked like they could crush me like a grape. Asha wrapped her waist-length hair into a bun and stared at me expectantly.
“Girl, that man has my head all messed up. He called himself comforting me in the house, and I took a page out of your book and slapped him for the disrespect. Ken threatened Michael and told me to get rid of him as if he could tell me what to do. I called him crazy, and he didn’t deny it. To prove to him and myself that he wasn’t the boss of me, I went back outside to enjoy my time with Michael until Kendrix’s jealous ass hemmed me up against the gate. Once he got me where he wanted me, it was as if he had me in a trance, and my body refused to listen to my head. Kendrix claimed he has some stuff to handle before we can be together, but we have been down this same road for years, and I’m ready to find a new route away from him. Of course, he had to make a proposition like the lawyer he is and ask for a kiss, and he would leave me be.” Asha’s face went from smiling to shocked, then landed on confusion.
“Damn that is crazy Nix, I didn’t know Ken had it in him to be tripping like that. He always seemed good at keeping you on the outside of his feelings. Everyone else could see that he is in love with you, but maybe whatever the stuff is that he has to handle is serious. Trust me, if it's stopping him from being with you, then you have to know he isn’t playing with your heart for no reason. I have never known Kendrix to not go after what he wants. What are you going to do?”
I took some time to think about it; nothing was going to happen. He made that very plain; it was out of his hands.
“I will break things off with Michael first because he doesn’t deserve that, and then I will live my life. Kendrix said he would come for me once he gets everything settled, but who said I would be available if or when the time comes?”
Asha hugged me tightly, and I shed a few tears for this version of me. It was time for me to boss up and leave this whole thing behind me.
Genesis crying made me blink all those memories away from two years ago and be present. Makayla sat silently assessing me, and I knew that I could be honest with her like she had always been with me.
“I love that man so much, Makayla, but it’s been two years since Granny’s party, and he still hasn’t fixed whatever he needed to. He told me that things were in the way of us being together, and he needed time, but time is something that I don’t have. My heart wants what you have, a husband and baby to go home to every night. I convinced myself I would get all that with Kendrix, but maybe not.” I mashed a banana for Gen and fed her a spoonful.
Makayla nodded, “I get that Nix. I really do, love. I will support you with your decision to move on with your life. Now tell me, how was your date with Cameron?” She wiggled her eyebrows at me.
“It was great, Cameron. He took me to a restaurant I mentioned wanting to try, so he’s a good listener. He let me talk, and we spent the night laughing and sharing stories. It was nice to have a relaxed night out with a good-looking man, especially after the Michael fiasco.”
Gen reached for the spoon, and I gave it to her, ignoring Makayla’s glare. She managed to get the spoon in her mouth, but the bananas still slid down her shirt.
“Godmommy will take you home with her instead to clean you up if she doesn’t stop playing, baby. Okay, so tell me this: How did it make you feel? Did you spend the entire night comparing him to Ken?” I wanted to lie, but I didn’t.
“It was comfortable. Everything with Kendrix is fast-paced, exhilarating, and over-consuming, and while that is what my heart wants, we deserve reliability and the chance to be content. Things with both men are different, but that might be what I need right now.”
Makayla looked like she wanted to disagree, but instead, she raised her coffee mug to mine.
“Cheers to changing things up.”
“Cheers.”
KENDRIX
Judge Amanda Trover is a sight for sore eyes, and she knows it, too. She insisted on me coming into her chambers to discuss something important, but the bedroom eyes alluded to something more when I walked through the door. A man who doesn’t have the ability to turn away from temptation will always get caught up. God didn’t make us strong enough to resist temptation, but I can walk away from it.
Brian’s grandfather drilled that into our heads on more than one occasion, and I didn’t always listen to him, but I sure was listening now. Though I am very much single, I had my eyes set on my Jewel and would never disrespect her, even in her absence. What would that look like? I assured her we would be together once I got everything settled, but I’m out here with other women. I haven’t entertained another woman in four years, and it’s been a game changer.
“Kendrix, please have a seat.” Amanda’s sultry voice reminded me I was still standing by the door.
“Please, ma’am, call me Mr. Thompson. I am in a rush, so I’d rather stand. Can we get to this meeting?” My voice was solid and disinterested, which only made her smirk. People always want what they can’t have.
Isn’t that the kettle calling the pot black? You want Phoenix even when you can’t have her.
“ Mr. Chow asked me to take this case of a Mr. David Ganter, and when I did a little poking, he told me that it landed in your lap, and you gave it to him. How is it possible that you keep receiving all of these domestic violence cases?” She angled herself so that her ample chest was poked out, and honestly, I have always been more of an ass man.
I kept my eyes trained on her face, “I can’t say I know the answer to that one, but I need to know if you will take it or not. The more important question is, why do men like Mr. Ganter get away with beating the system and ruining another woman’s life? The photos of Mrs. Ganter are heartbreaking, and she should be brought some justice.” The passion was evident in my voice. I promised Sharlene we would handle her husband.
Amanda nodded. “Okay, Mr. Thompson, I will pick up the case. I understand that because you work for the FBI in the sex crimes unit, you all see cases like this all the time, so it adds up. I will report to Seth moving forward. On another note, can we?—?”
“You are a very beautiful woman, Amanda, but again, for the twentieth time, I don’t mix business with pleasure, so have a great day, ma’am!” I quickly got up and waited until I got to my car to call Seth on my second personal phone.
“We got it in the bag, man.”
“That’s what I’m talking about, Kendrix; rest up, man. You know these things get messy quick, especially when those assholes have enough money to make people disappear.”
“Keep your head up, Seth. It’ll work out. I’ll check in with you in a bit. I have another call to make.”
The clock indicated that Phoenix would be getting off in three hours, giving me plenty of time to handle some other stuff. I pulled up to my house; I lived in a beautiful gated community. Checking my surveillance cameras, everything looked like it did when I left this morning; I set them up after a previous incident of someone following me home. Luckily for them, I thought to call Levi instead of the police because the woman had mental health issues. She claimed that she felt a connection between us because I smiled at her on my way out of the door of the restaurant where I was having lunch.
“Levi, what’s going on with you?” After a long day in the office, I threw my keys on the side table and walked through my usual routine.
“Nothing much, man; how did it go?”
“Everything went according to plan, and you know Amanda’s ass was there looking like she wanted to swallow me whole.” I cringed at the thought.
“Poor Ken, a wealthy and beautiful woman, wants him. What’s the problem, man?” he teased.
The bathroom mirror allowed me to see my features; my locs, which had matured since I was thirteen years old, were now almost down my back. Before everything went wrong, my mama wanted my hair manageable so he wouldn’t have anything to complain about.
“Kendrix, come here and get that hair basket from the bathroom. It’s time to do your hair, and I don’t want to hear any lip from you since you insist that I don’t cut it off.” Mom said as I walked through the door of my room, ready to relax. My dad wasn’t home, so that terror that usually walked beside me was absent… for now.
Mom told me to do my chores, not that she needed to remind me. The sound of him backhanding her across the face all those years ago never let me forget it. I wished I was big enough to get at him, but I couldn’t fight him off her yet.
“But Mama I-”
“You nothing. Get in here and hurry up before he comes home; I promise you I don’t want to hear his mouth about your hair or worse.” That statement got me moving; the tremor could be heard from here.
As if fire was under my feet, I quickly did as she asked and made my way there. Her brown skin was marred in scratches, and she had a slightly black eye after he got upset that the food was too cold. I stood by and watched her stare at the clock restlessly because he refused to come home on time when he was the one who wanted us to eat by 6 pm sharp.
“How was school baby?” She never seemed to let his abuse steal her joy; it was hard to understand. I went to school each day with the weight of the world on my shoulders because I was afraid to leave out that door, and she’d not be there on the other side waiting for me with arms wide open but instead covered in a pool of blood. The nightmares wouldn’t stop, but there was no one for me to talk to about him because they would only make her feel horrible, and if I even said a peep at school, they would whisk me away. We couldn’t have that, so I didn't feel like a normal thirteen-year-old. My only concerns should be playing video games and learning to talk to girls .
“It was okay, mama. We have basketball tryouts coming up, but I don’t want to do it.” That was a lie. I do, but he won’t let me, and we both know it.
“This will all be over soon; don’t worry, son. We will switch up your hair from these braids and, if you want, start locs in it.”
“That’s cool mama, whatever you think is best.” I did my best to be a good child and not cause too much drama in this chaotic house.
“That’s my baby. I will do most of them and then teach you how to do the rest.”
“Kendrix… where did you go on me? Are you cool? Do I need to come over there?” Levi’s concerned voice said from the phone that I forgot he was on.
“Chill out, bro; I was in my thoughts for a second. We’re good; I am interested in one person right now, so I don’t need Amanda hanging off me like that.”
“Yeah, well, you have been saying that, but don’t ever do shit about Phoenix, so what is the difference now?”
“Time is running out… that’s all I can say about that right now. Now that the deal has gone through as we said, I will call our connection so they can set up arrangements for Sharlene to arrive in three days. Do you need anything else from me?”
I knew what he would say… the same thing he always said .
“Be careful, Kendrix, this shit is dangerous, but I understand why you do it.”
We talked for a few more minutes before I decided to go to Just Expresso earlier than usual to grab some food.
Once I walked inside, the aroma of coffee beans made me smile; it reminded me of my childhood. One consistent thing was Sabrina Thompson’s love for coffee. Looking around for Phoenix, I only caught the back of her as she seemed to float back into the kitchen.
Madison smiled at me and directed me to my usual spot.
“Before you ask, no, she hasn’t eaten yet; I already ordered her lunch with the money you sent me earlier. It’s sitting in the office waiting for her to eat it.”
“It's past lunchtime, Madison; it’s almost 4 p.m.” She threw her hands up in surrender.
“I’m sorry I get so worried about her sometimes. Thank you for all your help!”
Phoenix thought I didn’t care about her, but I came in daily or was in contact with Madison, her friend and employee, to account for her welfare.
Phoenix was as bad as Makayla, my best friend’s fiancée, regarding their work ethic. Brian had to take her on a vacation just to get her to sit down.
“Okay, can you remind her to eat and put an order in for my usual? If she gives you any lip, let me know.” Madison is a beautiful woman. Her brown almond-shaped eyes twinkled, and her roasted toffee skin showed no signs of blemishes. She has a perfect sense of humor and is gorgeous, but she did nothing for me.
“You got it, Kendrix.” She sauntered off, and my attention went around the room, observing. I needed to decompress for the day and intended to do so when I returned home.
“Here he goes… stalking again. Don’t you get tired of coming in here but being too afraid to say anything?” Brian said, coming up from behind me.
“Shut up, fool. You don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m here trying to enjoy a meal like everyone else. Is that a crime?” I said dramatically, placing my hand on my heart.
He looked at me with a keep-it-real stare until we smiled and hugged each other.
“You don’t have to front with me, man. I did some abnormal things that people would have frowned upon for Makayla, so I’m not here to judge you. I appreciate you looking out for my baby cousin, like always.”
The weather was transitioning from summer to fall, which explains his outfit choice. He was wearing khaki shorts and a long-sleeve sweater, looking confused. It looked expensive, and we weren’t the type to be flashy about our wealth, but I recognized the same sweater because I had it at home .
“Did everything go as planned today?” he asked, nodding at Madison, who had returned with a cup of water for him.
“Sure did. I needed to be around some light, which led me here earlier than I needed to be.”
He laughed at me when my gaze turned to find Phoenix looking back at me. For a second, I saw the feelings she still had for me until she schooled her expression into a perfectly crafted smile before she walked in our direction.
That is until some guy stopped her in her tracks, and she gave the smile that was supposed to only be for me, to him.
“Who the fuck is that?” I grunted out, gripping the table to keep from getting up and punching him in the face.
“Who is who?” Brian tried to sound innocent, but I know his ass was up to speed with exactly who he was.
“Don’t play with me B, I’ll flip everything over in this bitch.” He is the owner and all, but none of that mattered because all my brain was focused on this man smiling Jewel’s face… my jewel.
“Calm down before I kick you out of here. Cameron Davis is 31 years old. He graduated with honors from SSU – Slatesville State University in engineering and business in 2014. He has a brother named Calvin M. Davis, apparently a couple of years older than him, and they don’t get along that well. I know all about that… Anyway, he seems like an ok dude. Cameron works for a technology company specializing in spy gear, hijacking computers for certain companies, etc. He has been single for a couple of years and has a dog named Milo at home.” I turned to him, stunned at all the information he could gather about Cameron.
“Don’t look at me like that. Do you think I’d let my baby cousin date someone I know nothing about? Yeah, it's not going to happen, my guy. She’s lucky all his background checks came back clear, or we would have an issue.”
I shook my head, not bothering to let him know that I was highly impressed with his skills. We have always been resourceful when needed, especially regarding the women in our lives.
Phoenix’s giggle was loud; either his ass was actually funny, or she was trying to make me jealous. It didn’t take much to make me jealous; I envy her smile for everyone who isn’t me. I no longer get the luxury of basking in it, and I can only blame myself for that.
“Yeah, I’ll let her have her fun for now; she’ll soon realize he can’t do for her like I can. The same realization I came to when I was out here trying to find her in every woman after her.” I sipped my orange juice and raised my glass to her when she looked over at us.
Her facial expression was a mixture of apprehension and fear. I flashed her my sexiest smirk, and I could see the lust in her eyes; it didn’t last long, but it was enough for me.
“If you would stop being so secretive and tell us the real reason why you can’t be with her right now, maybe we can help you. I don’t want to hear that bullshit excuse you keep spewing but the real one. I know you, Ken, since I was 12 years old, so cut the shit; we’re brothers, man. You can trust me.” He was right, and I knew it, but there is too much at risk that I don’t want to play with yet…
“You’re right, B, but when I’m ready for y'all to assist, I’ll explain everything, but it’s more than me at stake here.” I have other people counting on me.
Brian wanted to say something, but Phoenix came right over.
Thank God.
“Hey Bry Bry, where's my baby?” Nix said, avoiding my gaze, and for once, I was unsure if my plan would work.
Maybe I should say something to them, and we can do this as a family. But family is the reason things are the way they are.
“So what am I, chopped liver? Once Genesis came, no one cared about me anymore.” He sulked, only kidding a little bit.
“Aww, stop, Bry. You know you’re still my favorite guy, but she’s my favorite little person. Don’t be jelly; I have enough room for both of y’all in my heart.” Her eyes twinkled as she laughed, and fuck it made my heart pause its steady rhythm for a second.
She has this effect on me, and she doesn’t even know it; that’s insane.
“What about me? Is there any space left in your heart for me?” Her laughter died off, and I knew she wanted to lie and say no.
“You’re worried about my heart now? How kind of you, Kendrix, but next time, please don’t.” Her aggression was clear, but she had no idea how much her heart meant to me.
“I’m always worried about your heart, and everything I do is to keep that smile on your face whether you realize it or not. Listen, I will head into the office and wait for you there until your shift is over.” Brian gave us a spare key in case we needed it.
Phoenix didn’t say anything, and both she and Brian looked confused. That’s fine with me because I didn’t have the energy to explain anything.
PHOENIX
I turned to Brian for some clarity about that last statement from Kendrix before he left for the office.
Brian put his hands up in surrender, “I have no idea what that was about, but I will figure it out. I’m tired of him keeping secrets from me. I can’t tell you what to do with your heart, but I know him like you do. Did something happen while I was in the military when you went off to college? Isn’t that when he started acting like this?”
I went back in my brain to think of it that time.
“Freshman year, he was completely fine, and we opened up a lot to each other; at the end of sophomore year, he went to see Gran and came back completely different. I was so confused I called her, but she said he was fine with her. But I knew something happened; I couldn’t go with him because my studies weren’t over. We spent one week together, and he stayed with Gran for a week; it was winter break. When Ken returned, he switched up on me. He made up a weak excuse about us not dating. Then, he ignored me for the most part and only spoke to me while others were around.
“After Culinary school, he was more welcoming, but something held him back. I tried to get him to open up to me multiple times, but he never did.” Talking about that time made me realize I’m still not over what he did.
Ken told me he loved me for the first time right after I gave him the one thing I was holding on to for that special someone. Call me old-fashioned, but I didn’t want to have meaningless sex with any random person; I wanted it to be with someone who would cherish it.
Kendrix was that guy at the time until he turned into whoever he is now .
“Hmm, that’s strange, but maybe something did happen. Thank you, baby cousin. I’m going to get out of here for now, but come by the house later this week; we want to hang out.” Brian smiled at me and squeezed me into a bear hug before he left.
“Phoenix, you still haven’t eaten lunch. Do I have to call the boss back here?” Madison smirked at me. I love that she’s so concerned for me, but I need to return to the kitchen.
“Nope, don’t worry about the kitchen; it’s handled. Now go eat.” Her box braids were in a messy bun, which allowed me to see the concern on her face. I passed out one time because I forgot to eat all day, and she has never let me live it down.
Madison is my only closest friend outside of Makayla and Asha. We’ve been working together since this place opened up five years ago.
“Okay, okay, I’m going; where’s the food?”
“It’s sitting on the table in the office; go enjoy it!” She scurried off, and I took a deep breath before walking into the shared space with him.
When I came in, Kendrix was nowhere to be found. The office space consisted of a black sofa that doubled as a futon in case anyone needed a quick snooze.
The flat-screen TV hung on the wall between two bookshelves, surrounded by different décor pieces.
I thought about sitting on the sofa, but instead, I went to the desk and prayed over my food before opening it to see my favorite order from Lucy’s Lounge, a short rib sandwich with a side of cabbage and a strawberry lemonade.
Taking a first bite, I moaned at all the flavors on my tongue.
“Damn is it that good? Can I have a bite?” Kendrix’s voice said from across the room, and I forgot that I wasn’t completely alone. He must have been in the bathroom.
I thought about saying no but instead decided to be nice; I offered him a piece of the sandwich – a tiny piece. Instead of grabbing the piece from my hand, he came in closer and enclosed his mouth over my fingers. He devoured the food but grabbed my wrist and came back for seconds to slowly suck all the sauce off my fingers.
He licked each finger slowly, and I bit my bottom lip to not embarrass myself by how turned-on I felt. Ken sucked my fingers until his satisfaction and let them go after teasing me for what felt like forever. His eyes were pools of warm honey, and I knew I should be upset with him, but I didn’t have it in me right now.
I don’t like being upset or mean to people; it isn’t in my nature. But Kendrix has the ability to make me feel everything all at once, and he knows it, too. Part of him must get off at my anger because he knows he deserves to get slapped for that stunt he pulled.
“That was delicious. Thank you for sharing it with me.” He licked his lips at me or the sandwich one last time then sat on the couch and pulled out his phone.
After my breathing returned to normal, I finished my food in silence and left to return to my shift.
“Okay, guys, get home safe. Everyone text in the group chat when you make it there.” I felt like the mama of the group, and it was up to me to ensure everyone got home safely.
I locked the door after the last person and returned to the kitchen to finish cleaning up. Once every surface was wiped down and all the ingredients were placed back in their usual spot, I went to find Kendrix.
He was in the office, knocked out on the couch. I stared for a long while to drink him all in. His sandy-brown locs were now pulled back out of his face, and I could see his freckles. My heart sped up at the innocent look on his face. He looked peaceful. Kendrix always looked like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, and maybe he was.
Phoenix girl, get your heart in check; it’s not going to happen.
“Kendrix, are you ready?” I tapped his shoulder, but his hand suddenly grabbed my wrist in a tight vice grip. I don’t want to panic, but the death stare he is giving me is scary.
Once he blinked again and saw that it was me, his grip loosened, sending me a sleepy smile .
“Are you finished?” He rasped, rubbing slow circles on the inside of my wrist.
“Y-yes,” I said, stuttering like a fool.
His smile widened, “Okay, let’s go, Jewel.” I moved back, and he shook off the rest of his sleepiness before following me out the back door.
Kendrix opened my car door for me, as always, and we drove to my place. He walked me up to my door and waited until I was inside before saying, “The best part of my day is this: making sure you get home safely. Knowing that there isn’t a hair out of place on your head makes it easier for me to sleep at night. I did force this on you, but I only want the best for you, Jewel. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.” That is all I said before shutting the door and locking the door.
I put my keys on the hook by the door and went to the bathroom for my nighttime routine. My curls were on day four of a wash-n-go, so I pulled out my products to do it tomorrow. Turning the shower on, I grabbed my African net, slathered it with my sensitive skin soap, and washed my body. Closing my eyes, I lightly touched my nipples, imagining it was someone else. They budded under my touch; my fingers danced down to my core. Kendrix’s voice in my ear egged me on.
“You look so fucking beautiful like that Jewel, make yourself feel good. ”
I felt his hands over mine as we guided my fingers through my lips to draw slow circles on my clit.
“I need more, Ken baby, give me more.” His body felt hot against the skin on my back.
“This is all you, Jewel. Keep going until you reach the top.” His locs tickled my neck, making my skin rise at attention.
Our fingers dipped in; my walls held on tight to the feeling of being filled up.
“You have to go faster than that; chase your orgasm with all that you have.”
Three fingers went in and out of me at lightning speed, and a thumb rubbed on my clit.
“I’m almost there… oh my gosh, yes!” I screamed as the white-hot carnal feeling went from my toes to my entire body.
“There it is, baby. Good job.”
I came so hard that I almost slipped in the now lukewarm water. Finally opening my eyes, I found myself alone in my shower. But I felt him right here with me.
You’re losing it, Phoenix; it’s time to get laid, girl!
I washed up again and ate some leftover Chinese food before hopping in bed. Sleep didn’t take long to find me; that orgasm knocked me out.