Chapter 31
Blood rushes to my cheeks, the sudden panic coursing through my veins as the nerves take hold. What do I even say when I see him? I feel like we had some closure, but all of this feels really overwhelming.
Do I just pretend the other day didn’t happen?
Do I act like we haven’t seen each other naked?
Good god woman, get it together.
My bedroom door flies open, and I’m greeted by the trio of misfits – otherwise known as Ella, Hannah, and River – who come bearing devilish smiles and glasses, no, bottles of red wine.
“I don’t like those faces,” I tell them with a concerned flick of my brows.
The trio waltz in, and I can’t help but laugh at how different they all are. Ella, the beautiful, curvy, blonde, barbie-esque bartender with a heart of gold, and probably the best boobs I have ever seen.
Hannah, the tiny, Southern belle whose got a mouth like a sailor, tattoos everywhere, and hair that rivals Dolly Parton. That woman can run with the best of them and is truly unlike anyone you’ve ever met.
And River, the red-haired bombshell turned cowgirl who, like her best friend, is covered in ink and has a smile that could light up the darkest of rooms. She is a delightful bit of chaos that you can’t help but feel drawn to.
I smile as I watch them gather around my room and begin rummaging through my clothes. My heart skips a beat as I remind myself just how lucky I am to know these women.
Ella and Hannah sparked up a friendship one night at the diner after they spent hours sharing war stories about the old men that rocked up right on opening, ordered a bourbon on ice, and ‘kept them comin’ till closing time’.
River came as a package deal with Hannah, the two of them as inseparable as Ella and me.
Between the three of them, there is never a dull moment around here.
“Red, where’s the corkscrew?” Hannah calls from the other side of the room, her thick Southern accent laced with a teasing note. She’s found my scarf drawer and has wrapped herself in an old silk scarf I got free with a pair of Ugg boots one year.
“Fuck off, only Jonas can call me Red,” she quips back at Hannah.
“I’ll be callin’ you a whole lot worse if you don’t crack another bottle, sugar,” Hannah taunts with a wicked smile on her face. Ella and I burst into laughter. Those two are truly like an old married couple.
Ella makes a quick run to the kitchen to retrieve the corkscrew, returning with a bag of chips and a portable speaker. She cranks the volume, and one of our favourite Luke Combs songs bursts from the little pink box.
The four of us take turns doing our hair and makeup. Ella steals a pair of my boots. River helps herself to my ‘Cowboys do it better’ T-shirt, and Hannah informs me she’s keeping the scarf – typical.
River sashays around the bed before plonking down next to me, her eyebrows wiggling manically as she asks, “So, Dallas, hey?”
Blood rushes to my cheeks, an overwhelming heat courses through my veins, and I suddenly feel nauseated.
My fingers start trembling, my knee gently bouncing as I fiddle with the hem of my shorts.
My mind races, thoughts of the cowboy that’s taken over my every waking breath start flooding through my psyche.
“I don’t know, it’s still very new. He told me about Sam the other day, and I haven’t really spoken to him since then. Then there’s Billie to think about, and god, what the hell am I doing?” I spit out without so much as taking a breath.
“Woah, woah, woah, slow down babe. It’s okay. You don’t need to figure any of that shit out right now, you have time,” River says, placing a comforting hand against my knee.
“Says the girl who promptly climbed into bed with the first cowboy who looked at her?” Hannah laughs, teasing her.
“Oh my god, that’s exactly what I did,” I wail. We all combust, our laughter echoing through my room.
River clears her throat and says, “Firstly, I’m sure other blokes have looked at you, you’re hot as hell. Secondly, I did not climb into bed, Teddy carried me. Lastly, who cares if you’re fallin’ for him? Dallas is fucking hot, Annabeth.”
“Great advice, Riv, keep it up,” Hannah scoffs.
“Oh, fuck off. Just cos you’re running off to marry ‘Mister Perfect Colgate Smile’ over here,” River jests.
“For the love of god, stop calling him that!” Hannah is hysterically laughing at this point.
Her southern drawl is so much more prominent when she’s had a couple of drinks and her inner devil comes out to play.
Hannah Jensen may have everybody fooled by her charm, but I would be terrified to cross that woman.
She’s as cunning as she is beautiful, and she damn well knows it.
“Did he tell you much about her?” Ella asks, quietly. I don’t need to confirm; I know who she means.
“Bits and pieces. I tried not to press too much, but he told me how they met and how much like her Billie is. She seemed like a beautiful person, I can’t imagine what it must have been like for them going through that, especially with a daughter as young as Billie was.
What he and Colt must have endured, what Billie must have endured.
I know she didn’t understand at that age, but fuck.
” My heart thumps a steady rhythm in my chest. Bile rises in my throat, and I suddenly feel claustrophobic and trapped in my own skin.
Ella senses this and adjusts her seating position to wrap her arm around my shoulders.
River starts comforting me with her words.
“He’s a good man. She’s a good kid. Frank adores her, and I’m pretty sure it’s entirely mutual.
I don’t know if Dallas even knows this, but Colt was struggling hard when Sam first passed.
He spoke to Jonas about it a lot. Hannah and Mrs. Hartford kept the three of them fed for months until the boys figured their shit out.
A lot of this happened before I got here, but this town collectively raised that little angel just as much as those boys did.
Ain’t nobody this side of Flame Tree Flats that was gonna let any of them suffer.
” River falls silent for a moment before continuing.
“They’ll be lucky to have you, Annabeth. ”
The four of us sit together, hands linked in silence for what feels like an eternity. Thinking about what they all went through breaks my heart into a thousand shards. The gravitational pull that draws me to Dallas tugs at my insides, my stomach twisting as I rise from my bed.
“I have to go,” I announce, turning on my heels towards the door.
One of them calls out, “Where are you going?”
“To fucking wrangle myself a cowboy,” I shout back to them without so much as a second glance.
My knuckles bang against the hardwood door until I hear the thud of footsteps approaching.
The old hinges creak obnoxiously loud as the door swings open, and I prepare myself to launch into everything I need to say to Dallas, but I’m instantly pulled up short.
Before I can stop myself, the words start flowing as I come face to face with Colt.
“God dammit.”
“Nice to see you too, A.B.,” he chuckles. His smile reminds me so much of his brother it’s insane.
“Sorry, I was expecti—”
“He’s out in the stables, you wanna come in?” His eyes narrow, and I sense him wondering what’s going on.
In true Annabeth form, my damn motor-mouth keeps running, and I immediately word vomit my insane confession without taking a single breath.
“I know about Samantha. I know about the meals and everyone taking care of you after she died. I know what you did to protect Billie – what you still do. I know that you need someone to take care of you sometimes. Both of you. I know that I’m still kinda new around here and everyone is so connected and familial, and I want to be part of that.
Oh, and I slept with your brother and he’s all I can fucking think about.
” Colt stares at me completely in awe, and I hear a throat clear from behind him.
“Well, Firefly, that is certainly good to know.”
Oh, fuck.
I’ve been sitting on Dallas’s bed, chewing the inside of my cheek for half an hour. Honestly, if I keep going, I’m going to chew a bloody hole through my face. I haven’t told Dallas about Dad… or anyone for that matter.
“Can you knock it off and talk to me?” he asks. I just shake my head.
He clears the room in three long strides, joining me on the bed. His hand reaches for my arm to comfort me, and I flinch slightly, scared to reveal this side of me. Scared to relive this memory.
“Hey, what’s that about?”
“What?” I ask.
“You flinched.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Don’t fucking lie to me, Annabeth. You flinched when I tried to touch you.”
I turn my head away from him, my lip quivering slightly. He reaches for me again. This time I’m as still as a statue. Too still. I can’t move. I can barely wrap my mind around everything I’m about to tell him, because I haven’t told anybody this in a very long time.
“Firefly,” he says, his voice barely a whisper. “What happened?”
I raise my hand to meet his, the closeness feeling like a comfort for what I’m about to drop on this man. This beautiful, also broken, man.
“Annabeth, what’s wrong? Please talk to me,” Dallas asks, his eyes fixed on mine.
“When I was eleven, my Dad stopped touring and came home. Not long after, Mum left him – left us. She had one foot out the door my entire life, and it only got worse after she fell pregnant with my sister. We never did the math, but Dad had been gone a hell of a lot with the band that year, and we all knew, not that we ever have mentioned it. Dad was too good of a man to question Mum, let alone deny the only thing he ever cared about – his daughters. The night she left, she took my little sister, Gracie, with her, but they never made it out of town. Mum was apparently so at war with her decision to leave Dad, that the night she left, she snorted herself into oblivion before she even made it out of the house.”
Dallas face falls, his expression a mixture of concern, sadness, and confusion.
I know he’s not planning to say anything yet.
My cheeks redden, the tears welling in my eyes, threatening to be exposed.
My breathing is ragged, every exhale choked out as I try to compose myself to keep going.
Dallas’s hand finds my back, his gentle touch soothing me, giving me the strength I need to get through this. I need to get through this.
“I remember that night. Dad carried us to his ute to take us into town. He had just strapped my sister in and was coming back to get me when Mum stormed out of the house, bag in tow and got into his car instead of hers. I can still hear him screaming as he chased her down the driveway, but it was no use. She flipped his car before she even made it out of the gate. Once. Twice. Three times. Then a fourth, and Dad’s car collided with the streetlight on the outskirts of our property.
I remember watching as Dad bolted to the car, immediately prying the back door open to save Gracie.
He told me how he was so sure he’d be able to pick her up and carry her back home.
I watched his heart break the moment he heard my sister cry for the last time as he desperately scrambled to unbuckle her seat.
She was so little, so vulnerable, and that cunt took her from me.
From us. I will never forgive my mother for what she did.
How a person could be so fucking selfish as to get behind the wheel so inebriated you don’t even notice your own daughter.
Or, maybe she did, and she just didn’t care.
Gracie was fucking two, Dallas. She’d barely started walking. ”
My voice breaks, the tears streaming as I try to choke my words out.
My breaths are shallow and desperate. I struggle to speak through my panic attack, the haunting memories flooding back to me with every word that comes out.
Every night watching Dad stumble in from whatever bar kicked him out this time.
Every harsh word shot my way that I know he didn’t mean.
He never hurt me, he just left. Not the same way Mum did, yet somehow, his felt worse.
“Mum didn’t make it out either; she didn’t even have her fucking seat belt on.
I don’t need to go into details, but the medical examiners said although she died quickly, it would have been excruciating.
I’ve always taken a comfort in knowing she got what she deserved.
My Dad turned to the bottle after she left and effectively drank himself to death. ”
“Annabeth.” My name leaves his lips in a whisper. His face completely still as he holds my hands in his, his eyes now as wet as my own.