Chapter 14 Rory
RORY
Rory resisted the temptation to wrap her arms around Gemma and pull her close.
All week she had been thinking of the other woman and talking herself into just being friends.
She had thought it would be easy to do. They had been friends for years without any issues.
Okay, they had been teenagers, but still.
That was where they needed to get back to.
She felt out of kilter having Gemma here in her home.
She put it down to the fact that, for once, Gemma was not as late as Rory had anticipated, and she had only just got out of the shower when she saw her walking up her front path.
This feeling must be because her hair was still down, and Rory hated it when her hair was in her way. She flicked it over her shoulder and concentrated on showing Gemma her house.
“I haven’t done much to the house or garden since I bought it.
The previous owners decorated completely before selling, so I didn’t need to do anything.
I upgraded a few of the appliances in the kitchen, but that’s about it.
” She gulped and moved away from Gemma to check on the food that was in the oven.
“I hoped that Darcy and I would make the house our own, but she hated it from the moment I bought it.”
“Uh huh.” Gemma waved her hand in a “go on” motion.
Rory opened the wine and poured Gemma a glass as she spoke.
“I should have realised from the start that we weren’t a good match.
We always wanted different things. I like quiet evenings in, she wanted to go out all the time.
We disagreed on holidays and even what car I should have.
” Rory gave Gemma her wine and pointed towards the Porsche in the driveway. “That she chose, by the way.”
“You look hot driving it though.” Gemma shrugged and sipped her wine.
Rory felt her cheeks colouring and tried to ignore it.
“When Pops died, he left me some money. I put it in a savings account, and it was doing okay, but I wanted to do something significant with it. When we got engaged, I suggested buying a house. She wanted a flashy apartment in the city, but I wanted this. I put my foot down as it was my money. It’s a nice area, low crime, perfect for two great local schools etc.
I hoped she would like it enough to decorate it with me and make it a home for us and our kids, but…
” Rory trailed off. Gemma knew how the story ended.
“Well, you can do that yourself, right?” Gemma sipped her wine before placing the glass down and tugging Rory’s arm. “Come on, show me around and I’ll tell you what I’d do with your house.”
Rory smiled and started the tour. She loved seeing her house through someone else’s eyes and loved listening to Gemma’s suggestions.
In ten minutes, she’d given more opinions on the space than Darcy had in their entire time together.
Enough, Rory told herself. Enough comparing Darcy and Gemma. Darcy is the past.
She didn’t want to tell herself that Gemma was the future.
She couldn’t be. They were friends, and it didn’t matter how good Gemma seemed to fit into her space.
She knew she was on a journey that she had to complete alone before starting a relationship, no matter how her fingers ached to reach out for Gemma.
“Do you really need four bedrooms?” Gemma turned and looked at her.
“This fourth bedroom is not up to much. Why don’t you convert it to an en suite shower room and dressing room?
Or, if you are wedded to the idea of having four bedrooms, swap the master bedroom to the one at the back and add an en suite and dressing room over the conservatory? ”
Rory blinked as she thought. She’d not considered extending the house. “You seem very keen on an en suite?”
“Yeah, well, if you have kids or even visitors, it would be nice to have your own space to shower, etc, and dress, especially if you need to be at work early.” Gemma flung herself onto the bed and propped herself up on an arm.
“And if you have a private shower, you can have delicious shower sex without the kids bursting in and disturbing you.”
Visions of herself and Gemma in the shower flooded Rory’s brain.
The thought of being naked with Gemma in her arms, was more intoxicating than the wine they had shared.
Gemma rolled of the bed and carried on chatting about the house and Rory gamely showed her the rest of the bedrooms, including one she had turned into a study, but her mind wouldn’t stop thinking about how it would be to run her hands over Gemma’s wet skin, how it would feel to have Gemma’s hands on her, for Gemma to cup her breasts and… Rory startled but settled quickly.
Her breasts. She hated the thought of anyone touching her breasts, but in her vision, she had enjoyed Gemma touching them.
Her body had become aroused at the thought of Gemma playing with her breasts and kissing her nipples.
She tried not to let the shock at that revelation show on her face as she really didn’t want to have to explain to Gemma what had just happened.
Especially when she was not sure of it herself.
Ruthlessly, she reached for a hair tie from her desk, twisted her hair into its familiar bun on her head, and turned to get back to the kitchen.
She needed to concentrate on their dinner before it burned, and before she did something monumentally stupid.
After they had eaten and talked and she had laughed more than she could remember laughing recently, they sat on the sofa with the last of the wine Gemma had brought.
Rory’s living room was long and led out to the conservatory, where they had settled, looking at the sunset over the trees.
For a moment, they were both content to be in each other’s company and alone in their thoughts.
The silence was comfortable and familiar. Eventually Gemma cleared her throat.
“So…” Gemma pulled her phone out and fiddled with it before looking at Rory, her blue eyes expressive.
Her face was soft in the sidelights Rory had turned on, and her pupils dilated in the low light.
Rory wondered what she was about to say, and her brain raced through a hundred different scenarios, from Gemma meeting someone to her not wanting to be friends with Rory anymore.
She told her brain to be quiet and waited for Gemma to say what she needed to.
“I was thinking about what you said last weekend, and I talked to some people at work.”
Rory’s hackles rose. Had Gemma shared her story with strangers? Was her gender crisis a topic for tea breaks at Gemma’s office?
“Calm down, I didn’t mention anything specific.
” She put a hand on Rory’s arm. “But I work at a non-profit for queer kids, so we have lots of LGBTQIA staff and supporters and some of them have been where you are.” Gemma shuffled closer to Rory.
“I know it feels isolating for you at the moment, but there are so many queer women who have questioned their gender identity. Are you trans? Are you a butch lesbian? Are you nonbinary? I know others who had asked that question, and there is no right answer other that the one that works for you.” Her eyes met Rory’s again, and Rory could feel the compassion shining out of them.
“I…er…Yes, that’s exactly how I feel.” Rory gulped another sip of her wine. “I just don’t know what I am or what I want to be. It’s all so confusing.” She rubbed a hand over her face and turned to look at her friend again.
“Right, shove over.” Gemma put her wine on the coffee table and pushed at Rory’s legs.
Rory startled. Surely Gemma wasn’t going to do what she thought she was going to do, was she? Gemma turned around and positioned her bum in-between Rory’s legs.
“Do you think this is wise?” Rory raised an eyebrow even though Gemma couldn’t see her. “You know, with the wine and everything?”
“Oh, shush!” Gemma wiggled in Rory’s lap and pulled one of Rory’s arms around her.
Rory bit back a moan and willed her libido to pipe down. They had talked about this; it had been her insistence that they don’t take this any further than friendship, and Gemma was just being a friend. They had sat like this for hours as teenagers, and it had always been completely innocent.
“Look, these are some of the Instagram accounts I found.”
Rory rested her chin on Gemma’s shoulder and looked at her phone screen. Gemma swiped with her fingers and pulled up an account that was mostly a woman in her underwear.
“G R W M?” Rory was confused. “What does that mean?”
“Get Ready With Me.” Gemma played a video. “She shows the outfits she’s wearing for the day.”
“Why?” Rory looked at the woman on the screen. She had a short haircut and wore men’s clothes but still added makeup. “And why does she keep holding stuff up to the camera?”
“Because she’s advertising the products.” Gemma leaned over and grabbed her wine. As she did, her back rubbed across Rory’s front, and Rory had to bite back another groan.
“Okay.” Rory took a breath and looked at the outfit the woman was wearing. It was nice, but not really her style.
Gemma tapped on her phone again and pulled up another account. “This is another masc lesbian who is fashion focused.”
Rory looked again at the small screen, trying to concentrate on the person showing off clothes rather than the feel of Gemma in her arms. This person had long hair with an undercut and looked quite feminine when her hair was down but looked more butch when it was pulled up. She pulled on a suit, and Rory winced.
“What’s the matter?” Gemma twisted her head around.
“Well, the trousers are different to the jacket.” Rory pulled a face.
“Oh my God you’re a snob!” Gemma twisted on the sofa so she could look Rory in the face. “I never thought that of you. You’re judging her because there’s a slight mismatch with the fabric?”