Chapter 6
Sarah calls me Sunday morning as I’m finishing breakfast at the kitchen table with Sue. “Hi Sarah.”
“Hello Summer. Happy to see you awake and active this morning. How has the processing been going?”
“Okay, I think. Sue and I talked and cleared the air. We did normal things yesterday. My brain was processing behind the scenes while I took a break.”
Sarah smiles with a knowing wink. “Your brain does good work when your conscious mind is otherwise engaged. It always does. If you’re up to it, we should make a checklist like we used to. Getting questions answered about your new future should help. What are your thoughts?”
“I’ll grab a notepad and pen,” Sue offers, getting up and squeezing my shoulder.
“Thanks, Sue,” Sarah and I chorus. I smile down at her on the screen.
“Okay, Summer, let’s make a list. First up is Sue, since she’s here. What questions do you need answers to regarding her?”
I write Sue’s name down on top of the paper since I’m a visual learner, and writing things down always helps. I list my questions in order.
Does Sue still want me in her life when I move?
Can I come visit anytime?
Will Sue come visit me?
Can I call and text and video call her?
Will she still be there for me?
Will she keep me up to date on everything?
“That’s all I can come up with right now, Sarah,” I say.
“What have you written?” Sue asks. I read out my questions to both Sue and Sarah. When I’m done, Sue grabs the notebook and writes “yes” down as every answer. “There now. Those were the easiest questions I’ve had to answer in some time. Sarah, everything is a yes.”
I shake my head at her. “Sue, you’re the best.”
Sarah smiles at the two of us fondly. “Great job, ladies. Ready to move on to the next set of questions?”
I write a list for Mal and Mary, and then for my father. His is the hardest to write, and the scariest. I end up with:
Name and age.
Where does he live? What does he do?
I tell him about the important people in my life and express the need to keep them close when I move.
My wish to visit here as often as I can.
My wish for Sue to visit.
Sarah and I discuss our relationship as well. She assures me that nothing will change on our end. She’ll still be available whenever I need her.
“Ok Summer. With your permission, I’d like to forward your questions to Mary, who can send along your list to your father. That allows you to get answers as quickly as possible. Does that sound good?”
I take a deep breath in, slowly letting it out. I might be handling this better, but it’s still overwhelming. “Do it, Sarah. I’ll email you Mary’s list and Zander’s as soon as we hang up here.”
Sue squeezes my shoulder in comfort.
“Wonderful. You are doing really well, Summer. I’m proud of you. Remember, one moment at a time. Perhaps you and Sue can visit Mal and Jake today? It’s not your regular day, but that will allow you to get the information you need from Mal, and visiting Jake always helps you feel better.”
I glance over at Sue, who is already nodding. “That’s a splendid plan, Sarah, and we can bring Mal some cookies.”
I smile. These two women really mean the world to me. I wouldn’t be here without them.
After Sarah says goodbye, I go over to help Sue collect the mess from breakfast.
“I have this. You write your email to Sarah and grab a shower. We’ll head out after you’re finished.”
“Thanks, Sue.” Quickly typing out my two lists for Sarah, I grab my laptop and head upstairs to get ready.
In no time, we’re pulling up to the care facility. I start to fold and unfold the list for Mal I printed out before we left.
Sue pats my hand. “Everything will be alright, sweetheart. Mal will do anything for you and Jake. You know that.”
We enter the front door to find Mal behind the desk. “What a lovely surprise seeing you two today. How is everyone doing?” Mal says with a big smile on her face. She is wearing dark purple scrubs today with deer and trees printed on them.
“Hi Mal, I think those are my favorite scrubs yet,” I comment.
“Good morning, Mal. We brought homemade cookies for you.” Sue sets the plate on the counter.
“Now, I’d never turn down cookies from you, Sue. I swear you can bake anything,” Mal replies. “And thank you, Sugar, they’re new. Come on over and sign in for me so you can go see Jake.”
“Uh, before that, I wanted to talk to you about something, Mal,” I swallow, feeling a shiver run through my body. There’s no reason to be nervous. Mal has been awesome to me since the moment I met her. The stress is ignoring common sense right now, though.
Mal looks back and forth between us. “Of course, anything you need.”
I’m a coward. I feel overwhelmed again and turn to Sue for help. She gives me an understanding nod. “Mal, CPS is always looking to reunite families. Mary met with us on Thursday and told Summer she found her father.”
“My word, after all this time.” Mal touches her heart. I look up at her as my eyes well up. “Oh, Summer honey, you’re going to have a dad. That’s amazing news! I bet you’re worried about Jake and leaving us all, aren’t you?”
I nod as Sue hands me a tissue from her purse.
“Sugar, this is an opportunity for a fresh start in life. We don’t get many of those. To move on from the past. That’s exactly what you need. I often wished you could start anew somewhere away from here and all the reminders of everything that has happened.”
My eyes widen at that statement. “What?”
“Now don’t look at me all upset or nothing.
Sue, me, and Jake will always be here and in your life.
Wild horses couldn’t keep us away,” she smiles.
“But, Sugar, you’re stagnant here. I see how sad you are, even when you’re smiling.
You’re so young and have a whole life yet to live.
You can have a fresh start somewhere. Reinvent yourself. I think it’ll be amazing for you.”
“It doesn’t feel amazing right now,” I mutter.
“Of course not, but that doesn’t mean it won’t turn out that way. Now tell me what you need from me to make your life easier.”
I hand Mal her list before signing in.
“Well, this is easy as pie, Sugar. I’m here almost every day.
You can talk to Jake whenever you want. I’ll put you on video so you can see his handsome face.
We’ll get a fancy phone holder with a long arm to clip onto the bed.
You can see Jake during your private time, just like you do now, and I’ll text you with as many updates as you want.
You know Jake’s family to me. Don’t you give any of this a second thought. ”
“Thank you, Mal. I’m also gonna come visit as often as I can. According to Mary, my father will fly me down here as often as I want.”
“There you go. It’ll be like old times around here. Let’s get you back for your visit while Sue and I gossip and eat some delicious cookies.”
I smile at her gratefully. “Okay, Mal.”
I get comfortable in the armchair and stare at Jake, memorizing everything about him.
It’s silly. It’s not like I won’t see him all the time through video calls, but I can’t help it.
I always thought he was cute growing up, especially with those bright blue eyes.
The depth of the color has changed over the years, sometimes getting lighter, and other times he has a navy ring around the outer edge of the iris, but his eyes are always solid blue.
There are no other flecks of color to be found.
Both his parents have hazel eyes, so I’m not sure where he gets his from.
Standing, I lean over and run my fingers through his soft hair, then get on the bed and wrap my arm around his waist, breathing in his spicy cologne.
I tell him about everything that’s happened since Thursday.
All my fears and worries. I shed a few tears but, like always, I feel lighter and calmer when I’m done.
I’ve always been able to tell Jake everything, and he’s always been a balm to my soul.
Mal and Sue stick their heads in after a while, so I give Jake a kiss on the cheek and tell him I love him, moving out with them to the front desk.
“Will I see your lovely face again on Tuesday, Sugar?” Mal asks me.
“Yeah, I’ll be here at the usual time, Mal. Thank you,” I smile.
“Nothing to thank me for, honey. I’ll see you on Tuesday. You both enjoy the rest of your day now.”
Sue and I go to the car and head home. When we get there, I grab a bottle of water. “Sue, I’m gonna catch up on some homework.”
“Okay sweetheart. I messaged the school on Thursday evening, so all your assignments should be in your email from Friday. They wanted me to remind you it was the last day of school you can miss this year.” Concern swathes her face.
“I know Sue. It’s ok.”
She nods in acknowledgment. “I’m going to change the knobs on the cupboards today. I’m excited to see how they look.” Sue is really into this kitchen renovation.
Picking up my laptop and backpack, I settle on my bed to get some work done.
I’ve got chemistry homework, some reading in biology, and a few questions in English.
It takes the entire day to finish everything.
My motivation and focus certainly haven’t improved with all the stress I’m experiencing.
I miss how easy school used to be. This would have taken me under 2 hours before…
everything. One moment at a time, Summer.
Luckily, Sue brought me some dinner, so I could keep working.
Once I’m done, I get up and stretch my muscles. My back is stiff from sitting in one place for too long. As I’m about to head downstairs, my laptop rings. Grabbing it, I see Sarah is video calling. “Hey Sarah, it’s been too long,” I joke.
Sarah chuckles, “I know it’s been forever! Sorry to interrupt your evening, but I just got an email from Mary. Your father has already responded to your list. I’ve emailed you the attachments she sent.”
“Attachments, as in plural?” I question.