Finding You

Chapter 30

Carter felt as if his soul had been ripped into shreds as he made the short drive from the country club to his home. His mind

kept replaying the pain he’d witnessed in Darcy’s beautiful green eyes when she realized what he’d been trying to tell her.

She had taken the news just as hard as he’d imagined, and he hated himself for causing her so much agony.

He knew someday she’d meet someone better than him—someone who wouldn’t be a daily reminder of everything she’d lost. She

would fall in love, get married, and have a family with him, the family she’d always wanted, and her relationship with Carter

would be a distant memory—something she’d never even think about.

But Carter, on the other hand, would never recover. Darcy was the love of his life, and no other woman would ever make him

feel the way she had.

He’d lost her.

When he reached his house, he steered down the rock driveway to the detached garage where he kept his tools and his grandfather’s

Road Runner. The Suburban’s tires crunched along until he parked in front of the bay door.

Carter dragged himself from the driver’s seat and entered the garage. He hopped up on a stool, and his truck keys fell out

of his pocket, jingling as they landed on the floor in a heap. He picked them up and ran his fingers over the wooden keychain.

He recalled the day Darcy had given it to him and what she’d said:

It’s kind of silly, but this way you won’t forget where we hung out the first time—in Flowering Grove at a car show.

A knot of grief clogged his throat. No, he would never forget that day. In fact, he would never forget Darcy. She was imprinted

on his heart, mind, and soul.

And every time he took his medication or thought about his transplant, he’d remember Jace and the woman who had loved them

both.

He closed his eyes as his emotions threatened to boil over.

“Carter?”

He swiveled on his seat toward the door and spotted his father standing there, looking hesitant. Carter blinked—and as if

someone released a valve, the fury drained out of him before numbness seeped in.

Then Gage’s words from yesterday echoed in his mind:

Just listen, okay?

“Can I come in?” his father asked.

Carter shrugged and tried to clear his throat past the ball of grief that blocked his ability to talk.

His dad took two steps inside the garage and then stopped. “Is it all right if I talk to you?”

“Why not?” Carter snorted. “My life has already imploded today, so I have nothing left to lose.”

“What happened?”

They stared at each other in silence for a moment, the only sound coming from a car driving by in the distance.

His father pointed to the Road Runner. “I remember when your grandfather used to drive that car around town. It was gorgeous.

Anthony would enter it into car shows and win every single one. He was a legend.”

Carter ran a hand over his chin. “He told me.”

“Are you going to fix it up?”

“No. I’m selling it.”

His father’s eyes rounded. “You’re not serious.”

“Desperate times and all that.” He studied his father. “Why are you really here? What do you want?”

His dad leaned back against Carter’s workbench and sucked in air through his nose. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m sorry for hurting

you and Shauna. I was young, selfish, and immature when I left your mother.”

“And us.”

“Right. I know there is nothing I can say that will ever make up for what I’ve done, but I mean it when I say I want to be

the father you deserve. I want to know my future grandchildren. I want us to be a family. I hope it’s not too late.”

Carter stared at him as he took in his words, which felt empty and worthless. “I don’t think you could ever understand the

depth of the pain you caused me.”

“You’re right.” His dad nodded and sat down on a chair across from Carter. “I don’t know how I can ever make up for that.

Shauna told me what you went through with the transplant.”

Carter crossed his arms over his chest and remained silent. His body began to tremble as his emotions crashed into each other—sadness,

regret, grief, shame, and anger.

“I heard what you said last night, and you’re right. If I had been here...” His voice was thick. “If I had been an actual

father to you, I could have helped you—financially and emotionally.”

Carter didn’t respond.

“I want to make up for that. I want to help you now.”

“The thing is, it is too late.” Carter heard the harsh edge to his voice.

His father nodded, and sadness flickered over his face. “My uncle left me some real estate when he passed away. I sold it all. Got more than I expected, in fact. But I haven’t spent a dime. I want to give half to you and half to Shauna. I would imagine it’s enough for Shauna to pay off her house and plenty for you to get a new start. Then you won’t need to sell your grandfather’s car. I’m sure it means a lot to you.”

Carter shook his head. “I don’t want anything from you. And why now? Is it only because Shauna reached out to you and made

you regret what you did to us?” His voice began to rise. “Don’t try to tell me you’ve been looking for us, because we’re not

hard to find. Sure, Shauna’s last name changed, but mine hasn’t. I’m still living in the same town where you left me.”

His father wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. “I’ve wanted to find you for a few years, but you’re right. I was too

embarrassed. Your sister had to open the door.”

Carter’s eyes narrowed as he studied his father. “I don’t know why Shauna did that. In fact, I begged her not to.”

“I deserve that.” Dad’s voice was soft, his expression full of shame. “But I want to make things as right as possible with

you and with Shauna.”

Carter shook his head as his tone hardened. “When I was a kid, I used to tell myself that you’d surprise me and show up for

my birthday party. For years I waited for you, but you never came. You never came ,” he growled.

His father sniffed again. “I’m sorry.”

“You say you are, but where have you been all these years? In Tennessee with your uncle enjoying your new life without us?”

“I moved around for a while, but yes, I finally settled in Tennessee.”

“I don’t care if you were living on the moon. All I know is that you weren’t here , where we needed you.” Carter pointed to the concrete floor. “Mom struggled to buy us clothes, food, shoes... She struggled

to pay the power bill, the water bill. It was always difficult for her. I remember the nights she cried and the nights when Shauna cried. But you weren’t there. You weren’t!”

His father blanched as if Carter had struck him. “And that’s the biggest regret of my life.”

Carter snorted. “Sure it is.”

Dad cleared his throat. “I was eighteen when I married your mother and when Shauna was born, and I was twenty-two when you

came along. I was too immature and selfish to know how to be a good husband or a good father. When things got hard, I ran

away, and I regret that. I wish I had fought for your mother, and I wish I had fought for you and your sister.”

“But you didn’t. We weren’t important enough for you to fight for.”

“I want to change that, Carter.”

“Life is hard. How can I trust that you’re not going to run away when it gets hard again?”

“I promise you that I won’t, and I’m not just saying it. I’m going to show you and Shauna that I want to be here in Flowering

Grove. This is where I’ve always belonged, and I regret that it took me so long to figure that out.” Dad sighed. “You and

your sister are my family, and I want to be and do better for you.”

Carter crossed his arms over his chest. He couldn’t allow himself to trust this man. He’d already caused too much damage.

Dad stood. “Thank you for letting me talk to you. I love you, son. I know it’s hard to believe, but I do. You have no good reason to believe me, but I plan to work hard to earn your trust. I also hope someday you can find it in your heart to forgive me.” He paused. “And I hope you’ll let me help you rebuild your life. That money is yours, and I hope you’ll consider taking it.” He walked out of the garage, and his footfalls crunched on the rocks as he plodded toward the house.

Carter stared after him as confusion and heartache continued to take their toll.

***

Later that evening Darcy and the rest of the wedding guests waved crackling sparklers in the air. Haven and Derek had already

changed into more casual clothes, and they exited the country club and climbed into a sleek black limousine that would take

them to the airport. Darcy sniffed while watching her best friend and her new husband drive away, bound for a luxurious getaway

in Cancún.

Darcy had no idea how she’d managed to get through the remainder of the reception after she and Carter had ended their relationship.

She had rushed into the bathroom, broken down into tears, and sobbed in the far stall until she was able to get her emotions

under control. She had considered calling her mother, but she didn’t want to ruin their vacation. She also knew that if she

heard her mother’s voice, she would cry again and not recover. After fixing her makeup, she picked at her dinner until Liam

made the toast.

When Haven and Derek had their first dance, Darcy had kept her emotions at bay. She’d danced half-heartedly with Liam, and

Kaylen and Vince joined them on the dance floor. After that, she had done her best to keep a smile on her face and mingle

with the other guests. After all, she was an expert at hiding her broken heart. She’d done it with Jace, and she’d do it with

Carter too.

But when the DJ played “The Keeper of the Stars” by Tracy Byrd, Darcy had nearly fallen apart all over again. She had retreated to a bathroom stall once more and wept, remembering how Carter had held her close and danced with her at the concert. She covered her face with her hands and prayed no one would come in and find her.

When the song ended, she mopped up her face with tissues, fixed her makeup as best she could, and stayed as far away from

Haven as possible. If Haven took one look at her, she’d know something was wrong—and Darcy was determined not to ruin her

best friend’s special day.

Darcy wanted to retreat to her house and curl up in the fetal position on her bed, but she had to make it through the night.

She was grateful Haven was having the time of her life, too wrapped up in her happiness to notice Darcy dying on the inside.

Later in the evening, Haven threw the bouquet, and thankfully Kaylen caught it. Darcy had managed to dodge questions from

friends who asked where Carter had gone, and when it was time for the cake cutting, she had remained at the back of the large

room. She refused a piece of cake since her appetite had dissolved.

After helping dispose of the used sparklers, Darcy hurried back into the large hall and found her purse and phone. She couldn’t

help but glance at the screen, wishing for a text from Carter telling her he’d been wrong about what they both knew was true.

She knew it was useless hope, but she couldn’t help it.

The screen was blank.

She slipped her phone into her purse and scanned the room. She and Kaylen had ridden to the reception with Liam. Now she would

have to ask someone to take her to her car, which was parked at the church. She had planned to ride back with Carter, but

now...

“Darcy!” Kaylen hurried over to her. “Are you okay?”

She swallowed back her threatening tears. “Yeah.” She conjured up a pleasant expression. “Do you think Liam would give us a lift?”

“Yes, of course.” Kaylen took off after her brother. “Liam! Can you take Darcy and me to our cars?”

Liam nodded. “Just give me a minute.”

Thirty minutes later, Darcy thanked Liam for the ride and hugged Kaylen before climbing into her Lexus. Finally alone, she

allowed her heartbreak to hit her fully. The sounds of her sobs filled the car as agony and loneliness engulfed her.

She needed someone to listen, someone who would console her and tell her everything would be okay somehow—even though she

was certain nothing would ever be okay again.

But her parents were on their way to Charleston, and she didn’t want to interrupt their vacation. Haven was heading out to

her honeymoon, and Darcy wouldn’t dream of ruining the best day of her life.

Who else could Darcy call?

Pulling a tissue from her purse, Darcy mopped up her tears. Suddenly, Robyn’s words from the night she’d visited with Darcy’s

parents filled her mind:

If you ever need me, text me. If it’s four a.m. and you want to talk, I’m here for you.

She could call Robyn. After all, she and Robyn had gotten close over the past two months.

Even so, Darcy couldn’t reconcile Robyn wanting to be close to her without trusting her enough to facilitate a relationship

with her half-brothers. It just didn’t make sense. And it hurt her—deeply.

Still, she needed someone to talk to, and despite how much that hurt, she trusted Robyn. Even with something this devastating.

She fished her phone from her purse and shot off a text to her biological mother.

Darcy: Can you talk?

A suffocating silence overtook the car as the seconds ticked by. Darcy felt her devastation creep in. She was alone and had

no one to talk to. No one to hug her. No one who cared nearby.

Suddenly conversation bubbles danced across the screen, and she felt her heart lift a little.

Robyn: Call me.

Darcy poised her fingers over the phone. She wanted to talk to someone face-to-face. This was too shattering to discuss over

the phone. But would Robyn agree to meet her in person this late at night? Would Robyn truly be a mother figure to her now

in her time of need?

Darcy: Can you talk in person?

Silence stretched once again, and Darcy sagged against the driver’s seat. Robyn was going to let her down, and she couldn’t

blame her. Darcy was calling out of the blue, and surely Robyn was already dressed for bed...

Robyn: Yes.

Darcy sat up. Oh, thank goodness!

Darcy texted: Can we meet somewhere?

Another pause, and Darcy cringed. Maybe it was too good to be true.

Robyn: Want to come to my house?

Shock rocked through Darcy. Was she finally going to have a chance to meet her brothers? She wrote back quickly: Yes.

Robyn: Great. Here’s my address.

Darcy: I’ll be there soon.

She started her car and headed for Concord.

***

Thirty minutes later Darcy parked in the driveway of Robyn’s two-story burgundy colonial in Concord. She glanced down the

street and took in the warm yellow glow of the streetlamps. The clear night sky was peppered with sparkling stars—a stark

contrast to her desolate mood.

She made for the front door, and her hands quaked as she knocked. Were her brothers home? Would she have a chance to meet

them? Would they even want to meet her? If not, her spirit would be completely broken.

She ousted those thoughts from her mind when footsteps sounded from inside the house.

The door opened, and Robyn stood before her clad in gray yoga pants and an oversized purple t-shirt. “Darcy. What’s going

on?”

Darcy opened her mouth and tried to speak, but instead, a squeak escaped her throat. Then tears began leaking from her eyes

and down her hot cheeks.

“Oh, sweetie. Come in.” Robyn took Darcy’s arm and led her through the foyer and into a large family room. “Sit,” she ordered,

directing Darcy to a gray sectional sofa. “Tell me everything.”

Darcy took a deep breath and shared what had happened—beginning with her argument with Carter after the rehearsal dinner and

ending with their breakup at the reception.

“So that’s it,” she said when she’d finished the story. “It’s over between Carter and me, and I don’t know how I’ll ever recover. I feel as if my heart has been stomped on.”

Robyn took Darcy’s hands in hers. “Honey, I never met Jace, but I can guarantee you he wouldn’t ever have blamed you for what

happened to him.”

“But if I had picked up my meds myself, Jace wouldn’t be gone.” She moved her hand over the arm of the sofa. “Now that I know

he was Carter’s donor, I’ll see Jace every time I look at him. I’ll relive that grief every day. And I can’t... I just

can’t do that.”

“Darcy, look at me.”

She met Robyn’s determined expression.

“It could have been you who was hit by that driver. It was an accident, Darcy. Don’t let an accident define your entire life.

You love Jace, and you always will, but he would want you to move on. He would want you to fall in love, get married, and

live your dream of having a family. He wouldn’t want you to be stuck in your guilt forever.”

Darcy sniffed and stared at her lap.

“Listen to me,” Robyn continued. “If the situation were reversed, would you want Jace to mourn you forever?”

Her brow wrinkled. “No. I would want him to find happiness.”

“Do you love Carter?”

“Yes,” she said without any hesitation.

“Do you want a future with him?”

“I do, but when I said I couldn’t see him anymore, he agreed with me.” Darcy sniffed as renewed grief rolled through her.

“Darcy, Jace saved Carter’s life. He gave him a gift, and that shouldn’t make you sad. It should make you happy.”

Darcy stilled as Robyn’s words took root in her mind.

A nearby staircase creaked, and a middle-aged man—whom Darcy recognized as Graham from Robyn’s photos—joined them in the family room.

“Darcy, this is my husband, Graham,” Robyn said.

“Hi, Darcy.” He was fit with short dark hair streaked with gray, and his brown eyes sparkled behind a pair of wire-rimmed

glasses. He nodded toward the stairs. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but they’re anxious to meet their sister. Would that be all

right?”

Darcy sat up straight. Robyn had told her brothers about her? She’d waited so long for this day. She smoothed her hands down

her dress and touched her hair, hoping she looked presentable.

Robyn gave Darcy a sheepish look. “Would you like to meet them?”

“More than anything.” Darcy paused, and confusion whipped over her. “What made you change your mind?”

Robyn took her hand in hers. “I was overprotective of the boys, and I’m sorry.” She looked toward the stairs for a moment,

seemingly lost in thought before her eyes returned to Darcy. “I wanted to make sure it was the right time for them to meet

you. When you reached out to me tonight, I realized that now is the time.” She squeezed Darcy’s hand. “I told them about you,

and they were shocked at first. But then they both said they were ecstatic to have an older sister.”

Darcy was overwhelmed once again. “I feel the same way about having brothers.”

Robyn nodded at her husband, and he ascended the staircase. Muffled voices sounded before heavy footsteps pounded down the

stairs.

When her two brothers appeared, Darcy clapped her hand to her mouth. Both were tall and fit like their father and were clad

in sweatpants and t-shirts. She felt an instant connection to the teenage boys who had not only her sunshine-colored hair

but also similar green eyes.

She stood, and a feeling of wholeness came over her. She felt as if she knew them—as if they already belonged to her.

They were part of her family.

The one with a baby face held his hand out to Darcy. “I’m Keaton.”

“Hi, Keaton.” She sniffed and shook his hand.

The second one had more mature features. He also shook her hand. “Brayden.”

Darcy opened her mouth to greet him, but her throat closed and her eyes filled. She fought to get her emotions under control,

but her stubborn tears began to fall once again.

Robyn appeared beside her and looped her arm around Darcy’s shoulder. “It’s late. Why don’t we plan a time for you all to

get together soon?” She lifted her chin toward the stairs. “Brayden, Keaton. Darcy and I need to talk alone, okay?”

“Sure, Mom.” Keaton gave Darcy a warm smile. “See you soon.”

Brayden nodded. “It’s so cool that we have a long-lost sister.”

“Having long-lost brothers is also very cool.” Darcy wiped her eyes and managed a watery smile.

Her brothers retreated up the stairs, and Darcy felt the overwhelming need to tell Carter that she’d finally met her brothers.

Carter.

Her heart began to crumble once again. She’d lost him forever. How was she going to go on without him?

“Do you want a cup of tea?” Robyn asked.

Darcy hugged her arms to her middle as memories of Carter overwhelmed her.

Oh no.

More sobs threatened her. She had to get herself together. “No, I should let you get to bed.” Darcy started for the door.

“Thank you for talking through this with me.”

Robyn hurried after her. “Hold on. You’re in no shape to drive. Stay here tonight. We have a comfortable guest room, and you’re more than welcome here. You’re our family.”

Darcy spun to face her. “You mean that?”

“Of course I do.” Robyn touched Darcy’s cheek. “You’re my daughter.”

Darcy’s lower lip wobbled. “I miss Carter so much it feels like I can’t breathe.”

Robyn pulled Darcy into her arms again. “Honey, if you love him that much, go after him. Tell him how you feel. Find a way

to make it work.”

Darcy rested her cheek on Robyn’s shoulder.

Her birth mother paused. “When I gave you up, I was shattered. It took me a long time to put one foot in front of the other.

My heart seemed to stop beating the day I said goodbye to you.”

Darcy sniffed as she took in the earnestness in Robyn’s eyes.

“But I believed that somehow we would be reunited. And I’m so grateful that I have you now too.” Robyn rubbed Darcy’s arm.

“Now I want to see you happy. Stop punishing yourself for what happened to Jace and look toward the future.”

Her birth mother squeezed her hand. “Please listen to me, Darcy. I’m certain Jace would never blame you for what happened

to him. Forgive yourself, sweetie, and start living again.”

Darcy nodded as another wave of tears overtook her. She buried her face in Robyn’s shoulder, hoping to find a way to revive

her heart.