Chapter 19
NINETEEN
Before Hanna even opened her eyes the next morning, she knew the room was spinning.
She rolled over and peeked at her phone, dreading any social media tags that might have popped up.
Sara
Hannaaaaaaaaa!
Hanna.
HANNA
Where’d you go??
Okay, you must be having a wild threesome with M and L to not answer me.
Just kidding.
(Unless you are, then in that case, can’t wait to hear about it)
Actually, please don’t be fucking Logan.
DO NOT ANSWER
Last night was nice. I think I really needed to just laugh with you again. Thanks for letting me tag along.
ALWAYS ANSWER
Drink a gallon of water before you even think about leaving that hotel room today, and don’t take that bandage off.
Jesus Christ, her head was going to implode.
She took Milo’s advice and headed to the kitchen, where she slammed as much water as humanly possible before jumping into a long, hot shower. Girls were passed out everywhere, so she did her best to be quiet.
Once she felt somewhat less caked in smoke and glitter, she decided that, instead of tiptoeing around the room, she should go downstairs in search of breakfast and, more importantly, coffee.
She settled on a spot around the corner with a little patio right on the strip and tucked herself into a table. She ordered a black coffee and a pitcher of water, plus whatever had the highest protein content.
Hanna snapped a photo of her coffee and water and sent it to Milo, who instantly started typing.
ALWAYS ANSWER
No hair of the dog?
HANNA
We’re spending all day at the pool, pacing myself.
ALWAYS ANSWER
Want some good company?
HANNA
Why, you know a guy?
ALWAYS ANSWER
Ha. Ha. Ha. Where are you?
She sent him her location and tried to forget what she looked like. Not having planned to see anyone so early, she hadn't put on a drop of makeup, but she supposed that was nothing new to Milo.
He arrived at the same time her server dropped the omelet chosen for her at the table. He was wearing those black basketball shorts she could still feel against her thighs, plus a t-shirt, and a baseball cap with the emblem of what she guessed was an artisanal whiskey brand.
She did her best not to fixate on the shorts.
He sat down across from her and the server took his order—coffee and a breakfast sandwich.
“Can you get her some toast too? Thanks, boss.”
“Hi,” she mumbled through her food.
He scooted his chair closer and assessed her face. “How we feeling?”
“Oh, you know,” she said over her sunglasses. “Like I might never drink again.”
Milo rolled his eyes. “Uh-huh. We still have a whole day and night to go.”
“Vegas should have a twenty-four-hour maximum.”
Milo laughed, took his coffee from the server, and ordered a Bloody Mary.
“Oh god, how can you drink this morning?”
“Hanna, don’t take this personally. I was drunk last night, but you were obliterated. I thought you sobered up by the time we left the tattoo shop, but you were practically asleep when I dropped you off.”
“How bad was I?”
He sighed. “Not the worst I’ve ever seen. Definitely surprised me when you were already out and about this morning.”
“Ugh, I know. I need to sleep, but I’m an early riser. Always have been, my mom used to call me her own personal rooster.” Milo arched a brow and she glared. “Do I want to know?”
“Just picturing you screaming cock-a-doodle-doo.”
“I hate you.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” he muttered, reaching for a slice of her toast. He shoved it into her mouth. “Soak it up, hotshot.”
“I love when you talk dirty to me,” she laughed.
He leaned back, taking her in.
“So, you and Logan seemed to get along better last night.”
Ah, a portion of last night screamed back to her. She could still taste the vodka on the stranger at the club.
“He was on what I would consider to be his best behavior, I suppose.”
He nodded. “That’s good.”
“It’s fine. Neutral,” she offered, hesitant to call anything about Logan good after one night without incident.
“Can I ask what happened there? I feel like I only have Matty’s version, which was essentially ‘They broke up. It bad’,” he said, giving his best caveman imitation.
Hanna chuckled, the bones of it amusing to her.
“Oh, sure. Uh, Logan got a job with a big FinTech start-up in New York, which obviously I wanted him to take if it made him happy.” She took a moment to drink some coffee. She really hadn’t ever admitted how everything went down to anyone. Not even Sara.
“So he moved, and we decided to do long distance while he got settled. I was just starting a new job back in Phoenix and didn’t want to try and make a cross-country move work with two new jobs.
I think he met Sloane a month later. They worked in the same building and, from what he told me, it was love at first sight or whatever. ”
“Interesting,” Milo mumbled.
“Yeah. I mean, I respect him for being honest right away. He was really torn up about it. I know it wasn’t easy.”
“Still, it’s a little brutal.”
“Oh, it was. I’m being very brave about it right now, but that shit happens. You can’t predict it.”
Milo stayed quiet for a second, piecing together all the timelines.
“And then your mom on top of it all.”
“Yeah. Not my best year.”
She finished her coffee and moved to the water, pushing the last third of her omelet onto his plate. Her stomach finally settled.
“How sick do you get of people telling you that you’re so resilient?”
She thought about that for a moment. Her strength was something she admired about herself but, lately, she’d started to wonder why. Why did she have to take all of this and make it a story of triumph? Couldn’t she just be sad and then fade back into normalcy?
“Really sick of it, actually.”
“Me too. I hated it when I was younger. It’s not like I got a choice.”
“Right, it kind of feels like congratulating me for surviving? I don’t know, people say all kinds of insane shit.
” That was why she loved hanging out with Milo—aside from his marvelously talented fingers.
He just got it, and she didn’t have to tiptoe around how shitty it was to exist after someone you loved ceased to do so.
“My dad told me like two months after she died that I just needed to ‘change my perspective’ about it.”
Milo choked on his coffee. “Wow, that’s incredible. Why didn’t I think of that?”
“Well, you were too busy being so strong, Milo.”
He cracked a smile. “And focusing on the happy times we had.”
“Of course. I’m just grateful she’s no longer suffering, you know, because being here and alive with me was just so awful.”
His eyes lit up. “That’s one of the worst ones. Man, I fucking hate people.”
“Not all of them,” she countered. “There are the Saras of the world.”
“Matty too. Always so easy to go to. I met him just before the accident, actually. He was one of the few friends I had who didn’t bolt.”
She nodded with understanding. It was hard to maintain friendships in general, but when shit hits the fan? Circles get small, fast.
Milo settled his gaze on her, the stare a little too intense for her hangover.
She leaned forward, tapping him between the eyes.
“You got a lot going on up there, California.” He laughed, but it didn’t last. “Come on, therapy king. Let’s hear it.”
“You don’t want to hear what I’m thinking.”
“I always want to hear what you’re thinking,” she sighed. “It’s actually incredibly annoying.”
“I’m thinking…” He drained his Bloody Mary and leaned closer to her, his fingers twitching against the table. “I’m thinking that I’m the one who needs distracting this weekend.”
She swallowed. “What?”
“We weren’t thinking about the Vegas of it all. We’re really going to spend all weekend drunk in Sin City, and I’m just supposed to pretend I wasn’t staring at your perfect tits all night? Seems ill-informed.”
“This doing it for you right now?” She gestured to her yoga pants and bare face.
Milo closed his eyes. “You have no idea, Hanna.”
“Really?”
He pulled at the soft fabric of her pants. “These aren’t nearly as bad as the green pair you wear at home. They’re light enough that, when the sun hits, I can see every incredible dimple in your ass, and then I can’t help but think about how it would recoil if I—”
“Okay!” She drained her ice water. “So, what? You want to fuck all weekend like we’re both not going to be absolutely miserable Monday morning?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know! I feel like a psycho, Hanna. I’m not this guy, but seeing Logan touch you, and then having to sit next to you naked… I’m an idiot.”
“Milo, the last time we had sex, we both cried for an hour after.”
“Crying is healthy, Arizona. I’ve been telling you that. ”
She rolled her eyes, astonished that he would press it.
“You’re possessed.”
Milo tapped the back of her hand. “Probably.”
She squeezed his fingers, annoyed at how naturally they fit over hers.
“For one second, I need you to set aside all the things you've learned on a beige sofa.”
A smirk emerged as she twisted his fingers in hers.
“Went out the window right around when your flight landed in the Bay. Go on.”
She pursed her lips and waved her hand. “I’m already heartbroken over this. Have been for weeks. It’s not like I’ll be extra devastated, right?”
Milo perked up. “That is just stupid enough to work.” He grinned. “Send me pics from your pool day?”
She leaned over his chair and ran her fingertips over his inked forearm.
“Not for free. I’m sure you’ll think of something to trade.”
Milo whipped his head to the side and snagged her lips in a sharp kiss, catching her completely off guard. It sucked the air out of her lungs—nothing like that sloppy random from the night before, not even in the same realm.
He broke the kiss and ran a thumb over her swollen lips.
“If my room wasn’t filled with hungover assholes right now…”
“It’s okay,” she whispered, letting his thumb linger. “We have all weekend.”
* * *
Three hours later, she was sprawled out on a pool chair, religiously applying sunscreen and sipping on margarita number two.