Ava Gray
Over the last two weeks, I had spent most of my time rebranding my business.
After catering for Julia’s friend, three more opportunities fell into place as word began to travel.
It felt good picking back up from where I left off.
With the help of my parents and my sister, Savannah was well taken care of while I focused on building.
Also, I had finally received the keys to our new house.
We haven’t moved in yet because I was still waiting on more furniture to be delivered.
The few things that I did have in storage were already moved inside.
Although life seemed to be elevating and I was finally in a place where I should’ve been happy and at peace, I wasn’t.
To be honest, a part of me was stuck in this depressing state that I couldn’t seem to shake out of.
“Hey, I’m about to order some Panda Express. Do you want something?” Aja asked.
I looked up from my laptop and shook my head no.
“I’m going to order you something anyway. I haven’t seen you eat anything in damn near two days.” She huffed.
She was overreacting. I had been eating, just not as much. I wasn’t starving myself or anything. My appetite had slightly decreased, that's all. I had been super busy and had so much running through my mind.
“I’m fine. I’m not hungry right now. Plus, I bought groceries yesterday,” I told her.
Aja rolled her eyes before walking back out of the room. My focus went back to my laptop. Across the room, my phone started ringing and vibrating on the dresser.
“Hey, boo,” I answered.
“Hey, girl, what are you doing?” Julia asked on the other end.
“Nothing much. On Canva trying to create a new logo so I can make new business cards. How are you? Feels like I haven’t talked to you in forever.”
“I know, girl. I've been so busy. I’m sorry, but I’m okay. Have you talked to Ethan?”
Hearing his name drug me deeper into my feelings. I didn’t necessarily want to break things off with him, but I knew I needed to. I had to put the dick to the side and get my life together.
“No.” I kept my answer short and simple.
“Oh, um, okay. I was only asking because I didn’t know if you heard about his mother.”
“No, I haven’t heard anything. Is she okay?” I closed my laptop.
“Um, she passed away yesterday morning. Duke told me his mother woke up to check on her, and she was already gone.”
That news hit me like a ton of bricks. Although Ms. Katharine wasn’t capable of communicating, Ethan was close to her.
In a short period of time, I had grown close to her even with me just sitting in her presence.
My feelings were truly hurt hearing that news.
Julia went on to tell me about the arrangements that were being made.
Ethan opted to have a private burial for family only.
I had no words. I told Julia that I would call to check on him.
I had to find the right words to say first. I wasn’t good at consoling people; hell, I couldn’t even console myself when needed.
After we ended our conversation, I dialed Ethan’s number, but he didn’t answer.
I wasn’t tripping, though. Maybe he didn’t want to be bothered by anyone.
I understood that people grieved differently, and not being bothered may have been part of his process.
I wasn’t going to blow his phone up with calls, so I opted to send a text message and wait for him to reach back out to me. If he wanted to, that is.
Ethan: Hey! I tried calling you. I heard about your mother, and I wanted to give my condolences. I know how much she meant to you. I’m so sorry you’re going through this right now, and I’m always here if you need me. I love you.
I sat and stared at the message that I had typed for a good two minutes before I decided to send it. A part of me wanted to just hop in my car and drive straight to his house. Instead, I called my brother.
“Yo.”
“Hey, why didn’t you tell me Ethan’s mom passed away?” I asked.
“Shit, I thought Julia might’ve told you.”
“She did, but damn I’m sure you knew before she did.” I rolled my eyes.
“My bad.” He smacked his lips.
“How is he?”
“Not himself, which is expected. Let me hit you back though.” He said, then ended the call.
I sat contemplating going over to Big Mommas.
“Hey, someone just dropped this off for you.”
She passed me an envelope with my name on it.
I took my time to open it, then pulled the three sheets of paper out that were stapled together.
As my eyes scanned the document, my heart dropped to the bottom of my stomach.
I couldn’t believe what I was reading. Rob was actually filing for full custody of our daughter.
The same daughter he’d never taken the time to get to know on a personal level.
He’d barely shown her any type of affection.
Savannah hardly knew him, regardless of living under the same roof since she was born.
They had no type of bond, but he wanted to take my daughter from me.
I couldn’t hold the tears. My world damn near came to a stop as I tried to make sense of this shit.
Maybe he wanted me to lose control and get out of character again.
I wasn’t about to do that. I wasn’t going to let him see me sweat.
My heart ached thinking about losing this battle.
I couldn’t breathe. Aja was talking to me, but I couldn’t hear a word that came from her mouth.
I felt her take the papers from my hands, and my body shook as my anger began to rise.
Why was all of this happening to me? Why was I being hit with blow after blow? All I wanted was peace.
“Don’t let this shit get to you, Ava. He’ll never gain full custody of Savannah.” Aja hugged me.
In my sister’s arms, I broke down. All my frustrations, anger, and hurt came out in the form of a loud cry.
“Let it all out.” She rubbed my back. “You have a whole team behind you, sissy. That nigga trying to start a game he’s not going to win. I promise you he ain’t.”
We held onto each other for a good five minutes before I finally pulled away.
“Why is he doing this to me?” I cried. “What am I going to do? I don’t have money for a fuckin’ lawyer.” I sniffed.
“Don’t stress. We’ll figure it out, but right now, you’re going to hit this blunt and breathe.”
Together, we went to the living room and sat side by side on the couch.
I snuggled up under my sister as we silently passed a blunt back and forth.
My mind raced in so many directions that I couldn’t keep up until the weed kicked in.
It slightly calmed me, but it didn’t help the pain in my heart.
I felt like I was going to lose my fuckin mind.
“Your phone is ringing.” Aja snapped me from my thoughts.
There was an unknown number flashing on the screen. I had no time for bullshit, and I damn sure didn’t feel like talking to anyone. I turned my attention back to the ceiling, ignoring the caller.
“I think I’m going to disappear for a few days,” I mumbled. “I need… I need to get away for a little while, or I’m going to snap.”
“That sounds like a good idea,” Aja agreed.
“Can you call Momma and tell her to bring Savannah? I need my baby close to me.”
Doing as I asked, Aja called our mother.
Rob was so damn sneaky; I didn’t want to take any chances of him trying to take my baby without my permission.
I needed to have my eyes on her at all times at this point.
An hour had passed, and my mother was pulling into my sister's driveway.
Both Savannah and Dakota excitedly ran into the house.
When my eyes laid on my daughter, I grabbed her up and held her tightly.
She hugged me back at first, then tried to wiggle from my grasp.
“I love you,” I spoke and signed.
Smiling, she placed a quick kiss on my cheek before running off with her cousin.
“What’s going on?” Momma asked, hugging me.
I had to blink back the tears. Now that I had Savannah back in my presence, I didn’t want her to see how much of an emotional wreck I was.
My mother looked at me with concern and then looked at Aja, waiting for one of us to say something.
See, whenever any of us went through some shit, we kept all the details between us as siblings.
We hardly ever involved our parents in our mess because the way mom was set up, she worried too much.
The smallest thing would stress her out and cause her to lose sleep because she’d be up praying.
“Rob is filing for full custody.” My voice was low.
She looked at the both of us with wide eyes. Momma knew I had moved out, but I never said anything about getting divorced.
“Is he crazy?” she asked.
“Hell yeah,” Aja spoke up before me.
“There’s no way that’s going to happen. Baby, don’t you let that man stress you.” Momma hugged me again. “Did you file for divorce?”
“Yeah, but he’s not making it an easy process.” I shook my head.
“Well, if he wants to play hardball, there are ways around it. You continue working and making a way for you and Savannah. Don’t allow the devil to distract you. That’s all this is, a distraction to knock you off course.” She pointed at me.
“Yes, ma’am.” I nodded.
With a deep sigh, Momma looked between Aja and me.
“Y’all behave yourselves. I have to go to the grocery store so I can make ya daddy something to eat before he leaves for work. Ava, remember what I just said. Call me later. I love you two.”
She kissed us both on the cheek. Once momma was gone, I got ready to head back to my room.
“I’m about to pack our bags. I don’t even know where we’re going, but….”
“Girl, just drive. Once you do, a destination will come to mind,” Aja said, resparking the blunt.
I needed to meditate. I had too much going on in my mind. From processing the death of Ethan’s mom, and now Rob was doubling back with his bullshit. It was becoming too much to bear.