Epilogue
EVAN
R unning was my refuge.
I spent as much time as possible in my wolf form. It didn’t give me total freedom from the guilt that chased me, but it was enough.
Enough for me to breathe. To try and remember the version of myself I’d once been. The one who didn’t have any stress aside from what came with being in the inner circle. It was a position I’d been proud to attain. At fifty-four, I was the youngest beta to ever rise to such a rank.
Now it was just another reminder of how I’d failed. I didn’t deserve to hold such an honoured role.
Not when I’d failed Reid as I had. A human. A child. He’d asked for my help. For me to save him.
And I’d brushed it off as a joke.
It was why I ran so hard and fast now. If I kept moving, the shame could only nip at my heels instead of consuming me completely.
I’d considered letting it. In the initial days and weeks after learning the truth, I hadn’t tried to fight it. It was only the knowledge of Reid being in danger now that helped me push back the darkness.
I’d failed Reid once. I wouldn’t fail him again.
I didn’t expect his forgiveness, or for him to even tolerate my presence. I’d never be able to atone for what I’d done. Once this situation with his clan was resolved, I’d stop running. I’d let the darkness swallow me whole.
It was what I deserved.
I didn’t let the others see the depths I’d sunk to. They suspected I was struggling; I wasn’t that good of an actor. But they didn’t know that Reid’s safety was all that was keeping me going.
They didn’t know I expected to fall apart once everything had been taken care of.
The ground was icy beneath my paws, winter making itself well and truly known. Christmas had been three weeks ago—the first Chester had spent at the clan house. Being the mate of our leader meant he could expect to spend several hundred more there too.
I was happy for them. I was. But hanging around to bask in their tender touches and quiet laughter had been too much to ask. Instead, I’d taken a shift watching Reid’s place. He’d refused invitations from Chester, Finn, and Logan to join them for Christmas.
At my urging, Logan had confided in Reid that I wouldn’t be there. I’d hoped that might be enough to get him to join the others.
It hadn’t been. Like me, Reid seemed content to spend the most festive day of the year in complete solitude.
He hadn’t been alone though. Not entirely. I’d stayed outside for twenty-four hours straight, silently standing guard and ensuring his safety.
It didn’t make up for what I’d done. Nothing would. But for that day, I didn’t run. Not even the usual perimeter laps we usually took during these shifts. I hadn’t wanted to leave Reid even for the minute that would take. He didn’t know I was close by, but I did.
I didn’t want him to be alone. Not on Christmas.
Not on New Years either. I’d taken that shift too, watching him through the window as the clock struck twelve. He hadn’t done anything to recognise the moment, just continuing to watch the true crime documentary he’d settled on.
My only acknowledgement was a silent wish for the man I’d failed. Please let Reid find the happiness he deserves this year.
Two more weeks had passed since then and we hadn’t exchanged a single word. Not that I expected us to. I had no intention of approaching him. He’d made it clear that my presence made him uncomfortable, and since the last thing I wanted to do was cause Reid any more discomfort, I kept my distance.
My insistence on being included in his guard rotation was the one concession I made to try and preserve my sanity.
I had to know he was safe. That I was doing something to keep him safe.
It was over a decade too late. I knew that.
But until we could be sure the threat from his clan had passed, Reid’s safety was all my life revolved around.
Even now, while not on shift guarding him, I couldn’t get him out of my mind. One of our warriors, Hamish, was currently on duty. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust Hamish. I tried to remain close to Reid even when I wasn’t on shift, regardless as to who was watching over him.
Never before had I been so grateful that wolf shifters didn’t need much sleep to survive.
Not wanting Hamish to think I was questioning his abilities, I was running perimeter circles around the town. Reid would be almost home right now, Hamish tailing him silently through the quiet evening.
I was about two miles away when an outer ward tripped. I skidded to a halt, my hackles rising. Ten seconds later, another ward tripped.
Right outside Reid’s home.
Fuck.
The ground blurred under my feet as I tore through the woods. My muscles bunched as I gave myself over to my wolf fully. He pushed us faster. Harder. We wove between the trees effortlessly, leaping cleanly over small streams and boulders.
With less than half a mile to go, a desperate howl rang out into the night. All my hair stood on end. Hamish.
He was in trouble.
And if Hamish was in trouble, that meant Reid was too.
I was running so fast now that even my supe vision was blurred. It wasn’t enough. Faster. Go faster.
More howls echoed through the darkness, this time from behind me. From the heart of the clan lands. Hamish’s call had summoned every warrior within earshot.
Good. I didn’t know what we’d be up against, but the more of us, the better.
Anything so long as Reid walked away from this.
Gravel flew in all directions as I skidded to a stop outside Reid’s home. My eyes swept over the scene, noting every detail.
Hamish slumped on the floor in his wolf form, lifeless eyes wide.
A jaguar shifter standing over him, maw dripping with blood. Waiting for Hamish to wake from his temporary death so he could put him down again .
Three more shifters in a circle in their human skin.
Reid sobbing in the middle.
“Please,” he was begging. “Neil, you don’t want to do this.”
The tallest one snarled. “Yes. I do.”
Reid spun to the female. “Martha, please. I’m your cousin. Please don’t take me back there.”
Her answer was to spit in his face. “You’re nothing to me other than an embarrassing aberration.”
I didn’t know if it was her action or her words, but something had my wolf moving.
Martha’s was the first throat I ripped out.
I was already tackling Neil to the ground before the other two shifters even realised they’d been compromised. I didn’t waste time ending him permanently, just as I hadn’t with Martha.
The others could do that when they arrived. My priority was taking them out long enough to get Reid away from here.
As far away as he’d let me take him.
Sharp claws dug into my back, and I threw myself towards Reid’s car, crushing the shifter against it.
“Ev, look out!”
Reid’s warning had me twisting instinctively. My paw swung wildly, colliding with the jaws of the shifter poised to end me.
He landed a few paces away before leaping back up with a deadly snarl.
But his wasn’t the only snarl in the air.
Several wolves burst from the tree line, Finn and Logan at the helm. The latter leaped onto the last shifter, the two rolling as they fought.
Thank fuck .
Confident that the others could take care of everything, I shifted back into my human form. Blood splashed up my legs as I ran through puddles of it to get to Reid. “Are ye okay?”
The tiny human blinked up at me, his skin ashen. His arms were wrapped around his waist like that was all that was holding him together.
“Are ye okay?” I repeated, scanning him for injuries. “I’m so sorry, Reid. I got here as fast as I could?—”
My words were cut off as he threw himself into my arms. Surprise ricocheted through me, and it was only instinct that had me catching him and pulling him tight against my body as he trembled.
“Keep me safe, Ev,” he begged. “Take me away from here and keep me safe.”
I flashed back to thirteen years ago. To the boy who’d asked me the same.
Who I’d failed so spectacularly.
“I’ll protect you,” I vowed, holding him close. “I’ll keep you safe, Reid, if it’s the last thing I do.”
Thank you for reading Finlay!