25. Finn
Finn
Ididn’t go with them back to my place for her to grab her stuff.
I couldn’t watch them leave. Couldn’t stand there and see Kate climb into the truck, Noah in her arms, knowing it wasn’t me taking them. Like a coward, I stayed at the clubhouse in the back room until the engine faded and the sound of tyres on gravel disappeared.
Heading out to the gym we used in the back, I set about the punching bag. Instead of helping with the anger, each punch fuelled it.
Kate and Noah trusted me to keep them safe. Kate had trusted me enough to let me in, allowed me to touch her, and I’d fucked it up.
Though I’d never be able, nor would I want, to take Caleb’s place in their lives, having them leave without me had made me realise just how I felt for her . . . for them both.
I wanted them in my life.
Wanted to be there when Noah woke from nightmares. Wanted to hear Kate laugh in my kitchen again. Wanted to make damn sure nobody ever hurt either of them again.
Yet I’d hurt her anyway. It didn’t matter that it wasn’t intentional.
Kate had looked at me like I was the one safe thing left in her world . . . and I’d still let her walk away scared.
I hit the bag harder.
“I trust you.”
The words wouldn’t leave my head. Not when I scrubbed floors. Not when I stood gate duty half-asleep at three in the morning. Not even when Reaper looked straight through me like I was a liability instead of a brother.
Kate trusted me.
And I’d still failed her.
A week.
Seven long, grinding days of keeping my head down and doing whatever the hell Reaper threw at me.
And it wasn’t nothing.
It was everything. All the shitty jobs prospects were made to do.
I’d thought those days were long behind me.
Scrubbing bikes until my hands stung and chrome reflected my own pissed-off face back at me.
Hauling trash after the brothers and club girls tore through the bar.
Supply runs. Gate duty. Fixing shit that had nothing to do with me.
The split in my lip had healed enough to stop bleeding, but every time my jaw ached, I remembered exactly where I stood with Reaper.
The brothers noticed too. Nobody mentioned it directly, but they knew.
Reaper didn’t swing on patched men unless something mattered.
It didn’t stop Lucy from giving me hell, though.
I sat in the clubhouse after a late lunch, turning a rag through my hands more than actually cleaning anything, when Lucy dropped into the chair opposite me.
“You’re an idiot,” she snapped immediately, folding her arms tight. “You had one job, Finn. One.”
I kept my eyes on the rag. “Yeah, I know.”
“No, I don’t think you do,” she shot back. “Kate trusted you. She needed you. And you what? Decided to remind her exactly why she doesn’t trust men?”
“That’s not what happened.”
Lucy let out a sharp laugh. “Oh, yeah? Because from where I was standing, it looked like you had a club girl in your lap while Kate walked through the door. Then you let her hear that she means nothing to you.”
The guilt hit hard enough, I didn’t answer straight away.
Before I could, another voice cut in.
“Sounds like someone needs a distraction.”
Riley slid beside the table, hips swaying as she leaned one elbow against it. Her bright pink lips curved slowly as her eyes settled on me.
“If you’re still looking,” she added smoothly, “I’m available.”
Lucy was on her feet. “Or,” she snapped, stepping between us, “you could try finding some self-respect and fuck off.”
Riley’s smile didn’t falter. If anything, it widened slightly. “What me and Finn do isn’t really your business,” she said lightly.
“It becomes my business when you start circling my people.”
Riley tilted her head innocently. “Relax. I’m just saying the clubhouse has been tense lately.” Her eyes flicked towards Reaper’s closed office door before returning to Lucy. “And your man doesn’t exactly look happy these days.”
Lucy’s expression hardened.
Everyone in the club knew why Reaper was stressed. Kate’s parents being so close had put the whole club on edge, especially with Kate and Noah under club protection now.
Riley knew exactly what she was doing bringing it up.
“You wanna be real careful right now,” Lucy warned.
Riley shrugged like she didn’t care, but I caught the flicker in her eyes. “Just saying,” she murmured. “Men under pressure usually look for ways to blow off steam.”
Lucy lunged, catching Riley by the hair and dragging her forward hard enough that Riley yelped. Chairs scraped loudly across the floor as a couple of club girls rushed in, grabbing Lucy’s arms before she could do more damage.
“Say something like that again,” Lucy snapped, fury blazing in her eyes, “and see what happens.”
“Lucy—”
I grabbed her arms, pulling her back before the whole thing exploded further.
Her chest heaved, her entire body tight with adrenaline.
“Not worth it,” I muttered.
Riley straightened slowly, fixing her hair with shaking hands, though her smirk had slipped some.
The other club girls were already dragging her backwards, muttering warnings under their breath about pushing Lucy too far. Riley never listened.
Lucy yanked herself free from my grip and pointed towards the bar. “Get her out of my sight.”
Nobody argued. A prospect got up, followed by Keno, and dragged a sullen Riley out the door. The room slowly settled again, though I could still feel eyes on us.
On me.
Lucy smoothed a hand through her hair before finally looking back at me properly. And she saw it.
The exhaustion. The guilt. The fact I hadn’t slept properly in days.
Her shoulders dropped slightly, some of the fight leaving her.
“She sleeping?” I asked. “Are they settling okay?”
The question came out rougher than I intended.
The house had been too quiet without them. I’d moved out of the clubhouse years ago for peace, but after Kate and Noah left, I’d started sleeping back here some nights just to avoid sitting alone with my own head.
Lucy studied me carefully. “You care about her,” she said finally.
I dragged a hand across the back of my neck and glanced around the room, suddenly aware of who might still be listening.
Then I gave a small nod. “Yeah.”
Lucy exhaled slowly, something almost like relief flickering across her face.
“Thought so.” She leaned back against the table beside me. “You know how this works, Finn.”
I nodded again. “Yeah.”
“You screwed up,” she said bluntly. “So, now, you do your time. Keep your head down. Don’t give Reaper another reason to doubt you.”
My jaw clenched.
“And Kate?”
Lucy held my gaze for a long moment.
“She’s safe,” she said. “That’s what matters right now.”
Not what I’d asked, but it was the only answer I was getting.
She stepped closer, lowering her voice enough the others couldn’t hear. “You earn your way back with both of them,” she said. “That’s the only way this ends.”
Then, she walked away, leaving me sitting there with the weight of it all heavy in my chest.