Chapter 2 Solace
Solace
Kaia trembles every time my fingers ghost over her skin, each tie along the back of her dress coming loose with a soft tug.
"Finally," Kaia breathes, the word carrying such relief that my chest tightens.
Her head rests on my shoulder as she winds her arms around my waist, the little purrs of satisfaction falling from her lips making me fall in love with the princess of Valoria just a little more.
She turns to make it easier for me, Kaia kicking off her slippers into a small pile.
Slippers that she absolutely should not have been wearing to a royal ceremony.
Her bare feet press against the cool marble floor, and I watch over her shoulder as she flexes her toes, grounding herself in this small rebellion.
I have always loved that about her. The way she refuses to wear shoes whenever possible. The way she insists on pants instead of the flowing gowns expected of royal Omegas. The way she trains in secret, her muscles lean and powerful beneath skin that glows like burnished gold in the candlelight.
"Come here, princess," I murmur, moving behind her to work at the intricate lacing of her dress.
The dress is a monstrosity. Layers upon layers of violet silk embroidered with golden thread, meant to emphasize her status while simultaneously constraining her. I hate these gowns almost as much as she does. Each knot I untie feels like freeing her from invisible chains.
"That last one," Kaia says, a dark amusement in her voice. "The one with the scar across his jaw. Did you see how he actually growled at me when I suggested I could best him in combat?"
"Alpha Theron of the Northern Mountains," I supply, loosening another lacing. "And yes. I also saw how quickly he backed down when you offered to demonstrate." One of Kaia’s favorite things is to prove she will not be just anyone’s Omega, that she won’t willingly submit. I love it.
Her laugh is bright and unrestrained, nothing like the demure giggles expected of her in public. "Father looked like he was going to have a stroke. I thought the vein in his temple might actually burst."
I should not encourage her defiance. As her guard and her Beta, I am supposed to help her navigate these political waters, not revel in the way she capsizes every boat her father sets her in.
But I cannot help the smile that tugs at my lips.
"You are terrible," I tell her, but there is no heat in it. Only a fondness for the woman I’m in love with, yet can’t truly have.
"You love it," she counters, and she is right. Gods help me, she is right.
The final lacing comes free, and I help her step out of the dress, catching the heavy fabric before it can pool on the floor.
Beneath it, she wears a simple silk blouse that clings to her curves, and I force myself to look away.
I focus on hanging the gown properly even as awareness prickles across my skin.
I have bathed her, dressed her, stood guard while she slept for almost three years now.
I should be immune to the sight of her in various states of undress.
But I am not. I never am. Every glimpse feels stolen and precious, something I will hoard in my memory for all the days to come when she finally accepts some Alpha's suit and I am sent away.
Because that is what will happen. It is inevitable.
King Frederik will eventually find an Alpha powerful enough, prestigious enough, that Kaia's refusal will not matter. And that Alpha will not tolerate a Beta guard who looks at their Omega the way I look at her. Even if Kaia’s desire is to bring back a dragon’s head to rule her own kingdom, King Frederik will never allow it.
But I’m not going to tell my princess that. I’m going to let her hope for as long as I can.
"Sol."
Her voice pulls me from my spiraling thoughts. She has moved to her vanity, and is watching me in the mirror, her dark eyes full of understanding. She sees too much, her gift for reading emotions meaning I can rarely hide from her.
"Where did you go?" she asks softly.
"Nowhere important." I cross to her, picking up the silver-backed brush that was her mother's. "Let me do your hair."
She does not argue. She simply settles into the cushioned seat and closes her eyes as I begin working the brush through her magnificent curls. I have done this hundreds of times, learning the texture of her hair, the way it springs back against my fingers, full of life and defiance just like her.
"Tell me," she says after a long moment of comfortable silence. "Tell me where you went just now. I felt it. That sadness that clings to you sometimes."
My hand stills. "Kaia."
"Please." She opens her eyes, meeting mine in the mirror. "No secrets tonight. I am so tired of them, Sol. Let me have honesty, at least here with you."
The ache in her voice undoes me. I set down the brush and rest my hands on her shoulders, feeling the warmth of her through the thin fabric. "I was thinking about the future," I admit quietly. "About what happens when you eventually accept someone's suit."
"I will not. I have told you."
"Your father will force your hand eventually." I squeeze her shoulders gently, hating that I have to say this but unable to leave it unspoken. "He is the King. When he runs out of patience, when the political pressure becomes too great, he will simply command it. And you will have no choice."
She stands abruptly, turning to face me. Her eyes are blazing with that familiar fire that makes my wolf sing with admiration even as my heart breaks. “Then we’ll go find that dragon’s head during the next hunt. We won’t wait.”
"You are the crown princess." I cup her face in my hands, my thumbs stroking her cheekbones. "There is no way that the king would allow this. It’s too soon. You’ll have to get him used to the idea. In due time, princess, because I will not let you throw everything you’ve worked so hard for away. Not for me."
"Why not?" Her voice cracks. "What good is a crown if I have to wear it alone? If I have to spend my life bound to some Alpha who sees me as a prize to be won rather than a person to be known? Even if I do get back with the dragon’s head and find an Alpha, I won’t let them disrespect you."
"Kaia."
"No! I love you." The words tumble out of her, a desperate edge to her voice. Tears glaze her eyes as she reaches for me. "I love you, Solace. I have since you became my guard. And I know you feel it too. I can sense it in every look, every touch, every moment we are together. So why can’t I do this? You are mine.”
A soft growl falls from her lips, her nose scrunching up as she glares up at me. God, I love this woman.
I dip my head to kiss her, to stop her from saying the words that will tear us both apart, the only way to show her what I cannot say aloud without making everything worse.
My lips capture hers, swallowing her surprise, her pain, and her hope.
After a heartbeat of stunned stillness, she melts into me.
Gods, she melts like she was made to fit against my body.
Her hands fist in my jacket, pulling me closer, and I wrap my arms around her waist, holding her like she might disappear if I do not anchor her here. When we finally break apart, both breathing hard, a few tears have run down her cheeks.
"Sol," she whispers, my name a prayer on her lips.
"I love you too," I confess. "I love you so much it terrifies me. But that is exactly why we cannot, why I cannot—"
"Stop." She presses her fingers to my lips, silencing me. "Just not tonight. Please. I do not want to think about tomorrow or next week or what my father will do. Tonight, I just want this. I want you. And then tomorrow, I’m going to tell him I’m going on the next hunt."
Every instinct I have as a Beta, as her guard, as someone sworn to protect her tells me to step back. But knowing that we are so close to the end of us, I am tired of trying to be good, tired of pretending my heart does not belong to her completely.
So instead of stepping back, I lean forward and kiss her again.
This time, there is less desperation and more certainty.
I pour everything I feel into it. Years of longing, of watching her from the shadows, of loving her so fiercely it feels like my heart will fall apart.
She responds with equal intensity, her fingers threading through my hair, tugging slightly, sending sparks racing down my spine.
I walk her backward until her legs hit the edge of her massive bed, and she sits, pulling me down with her. We tumble onto the plush mattress in a tangle of limbs, and I bracket her body with my arms, holding myself above her.
"Are you sure?" I ask, even though saying no now might actually kill me. We haven’t been together since last week, Kaia’s royal duties keeping her occupied until she passes out from exhaustion. I still hold her when I can but I haven’t had her taste on my tongue the way I want to.
"I'm sure." Her eyes are steady on mine, clear and certain despite the tears still clinging to her lashes. "I need you, Sol."
I lower myself slowly, covering her body with mine, the feel of her beneath me almost too much.
I bury my face in the curve of her neck, breathing in her scent, jasmine and something sweeter, something uniquely her that makes my wolf whine with longing.
A rumble of pleasure runs through me, my wolf begging me to claim this Omega.
"I've got you," I murmur against her skin. "I've always got you."
I trail kisses along her jaw and down her throat, feeling her pulse flutter beneath my lips. She arches into me, a soft sound escaping her that goes straight to my core. My hands roam her sides, learning the dips and curves I've only glimpsed before, mapping her body like sacred territory.
When I reach the hem of her blouse, I pause, giving her one more chance to change her mind. But she just lifts her arms, helping me pull the garment over her head and toss it aside.
The sight of her steals my breath. She's magnificent, all smooth brown skin and gentle curves, her body strong and soft in equal measure. I trace the line of her collarbone with my fingertips, then follow with my mouth, savoring the way she shivers beneath my touch.
"You're so beautiful," I breathe against her skin. "So perfect."
"Sol..." My name is a whimper on her lips, and I intend to give her everything she's asking for.
I take my time, worshipping every inch of her with my hands and mouth. I kiss the hollow of her throat, the swell of her breasts, the soft skin of her belly. Each touch draws new sounds from her—gasps and sighs and breathy moans that make heat pool low in my abdomen.
When I finally touch her where she needs me most, she cries out, her back arching off the bed again.
I gently caress her with soothing murmurs, settling between her thighs, my fingers moving with care.
I may be inexperienced in this, but I know Kaia, her body language, her tells, and the way her breath catches when something feels good.
Slick coats my fingers as I curl my fingers inside of her, her scent thickening in the air. "That's it," I encourage softly as I work her higher, watching the play of emotions across her face. "Let go, my love. I've got you."
She writhes beneath me, her hands fisting in the sheets, and I'm transfixed by the sight of her coming undone. This fierce, untameable princess who bows to no one is trembling beneath my touch, trusting me with her pleasure.
I add my mouth to my ministrations, and the strangled sound she makes is the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Her thighs tremble on either side of my head, and I grip them gently, holding her steady as I devote myself entirely to her pleasure.
"Sol, I—oh gods—" Her words dissolve into incoherent sounds as I vary my rhythm, paying attention to what makes her gasp and what makes her hips roll helplessly toward me.
When I feel her getting close, I redouble my efforts, determined to give her this. If I can give her nothing else, I can give her this moment of pure bliss where nothing exists but the two of us.
She comes apart with my name on her lips, her whole body shaking with the force of her orgasm.
I work her through it, easing her down slowly, pressing soft kisses to her inner thighs as aftershocks ripple through her.
When she goes boneless against the sheets, I crawl back up her body and gather her in my arms, still licking her taste off my lips.
Kaia buries her head into my chest, sighing as she sags against me. "I love you," she whispers when she can speak again. "Gods, Sol, I love you so much."
My throat tightens dangerously. "I love you too."
She pulls back enough to look at me, her eyes searching mine. "Then why does that sound like goodbye?"
"Because if things were different," I finally say, carefully picking my words, "I would tell the world that I love you.
I would shout it from the castle towers.
I would challenge anyone who tried to take you from me.
But things are not different. You are a princess.
An Omega heir to a kingdom. And I am just a Beta warrior who is lucky enough to be trusted with your safety. "
"You are not just anything." She cups my face, forcing me to meet her eyes. "You are everything to me. The only person who sees me, really sees me, and does not try to change what you find."
"And you are everything to me," I reply, letting her see the truth of it in my expression. "Which is why I will not let you sacrifice your future for a love that the world will never accept. You deserve more than stolen moments and hidden affection."
"What if this is what I want?" Her voice softens to barely over a whisper. "What if stolen moments with you are worth more than a lifetime with someone else?"
I do not have an answer for that. Or rather, I have too many answers, none of them adequate. So instead, I just hold her closer, savoring the weight of her in my arms.
"Stay with me tonight," she murmurs sleepily, already drifting toward exhaustion. "Please. Just let me have tonight."
"Of course, princess,” I whisper back to her, refusing to undress and just stay there, holding her against me. Tomorrow, the king will hear Kaia’s proposal and either laugh her out of court or demand an explanation from me as to why I allowed her such an unreasonable idea.
Or he may let her go, hoping she’ll fail just to prove a point.
So, we won’t fail.
That is the only option.