Chapter 5 Solace
Solace
Istare at Kaia and realize with startling clarity how close I am to strangling the princess.
The urge is entirely inappropriate, but it’s there nonetheless as I sit across from her in the confines of her royal carriage.
I only found out a minute ago that she planned to join the journey to the edge of Valoria, and even that discovery came by accident.
I had been making my usual morning rounds, checking the perimeter and ensuring that all was secure before the procession departed, when one of the stable hands mentioned in passing that the princess had requested her own carriage be prepared for the journey.
The princess who has never, in all the years I have served as a guard, shown the slightest interest in seeing warriors off on their dragon hunt.
After our conversation last night, it does not make sense.
We talked about this. We planned. Kaia was supposed to speak with her father, to negotiate, and seek his approval before embarking on any kind of trek across the Shadowlands.
We were going to do this properly, with preparation and planning and the resources that would give us the best chance of success and survival.
But here she is, looking as sweet and innocent as ever, with that expression on her face that I have learned to recognize as trouble wrapped in beautiful packaging.
I try to read her face, searching for some explanation that will make this sudden departure make sense. My eyes drift to the stuffed bags sitting beside her on the velvet cushions, then down to her bare feet resting on the carriage floor.
She should be wearing proper footwear if she were truly planning to go only to the edge of Valoria to see the warriors off. She would be dressed more regally, more put together, presenting the image of the perfect princess supporting her father's grand quest.
Instead, she looks like someone preparing to slip away unnoticed.
My suspicion crystallizes into certainty, a mixture of confusion and worry flaring in my chest.
Kaia lets out a small squeak of surprise when I reach forward and grab the larger bag without asking permission.
I pull it into my lap and open it, ignoring her protest as I examine the contents.
Several kinds of cloths, a sturdy pair of shoes, changes of clothes, soaps, and a few medicinal herbs.
This is not the packing of someone planning a half-day's journey to the border and back.
These are supplies meant to sustain travelers for days, possibly longer.
"You are going to leave without asking, are you not?" The words come out harsher than I intend, but I cannot seem to soften them.
Kaia has the grace to look slightly guilty, but her chin lifts in that stubborn way I know all too well. "Father would never say yes. You know he would not. He would lock me in my room before allowing me to venture into the Shadowlands."
"So, instead you decided to slip away?" I set the bag aside, fighting to keep my voice level. "You can not just run from your kingdom, Princess. You have responsibilities here, people who depend on you."
"I am not running." Her eyes flash with that fire I love and fear in equal measure. "I am going to prove that I am capable of more than sitting in a tower waiting for some Alpha to decide my fate. And it will be fine because you are coming with me."
I laugh, but there is no humor in it. "Oh, am I?"
Kaia nods eagerly, and I can see her confidence growing now that the secret is out.
"I made sure they hitched my horses to the carriage so I could take one, and I packed for you, too.
I have everything we need, Sol. I planned this carefully.
" She pats the other bag and I know she’s done everything she believes she has to in order to make this trip successful.
"Baby, we cannot..." I start to say, but the words die on my tongue when I look at her face.
There is such hope there, such determination and fierce conviction that she is doing the right thing.
She believes this with every fiber of her being, and I know in my bones that no argument I make will change her mind.
She has decided, and once Kaia sets her mind to something, there is no way to change it.
I sigh, feeling the weight of her decision settling over me. "Did you at least get food?"
Her face lights up like the sun breaking through clouds. "I even got your favorite sweets. Clarissa helped me pack other things, too. She added dried fruits and meat, and herbs that can be used for cooking or medicine. She was wonderful about it, Sol. She understood."
I watch as Kaia explains everything she has prepared, her hands moving animatedly as she describes each item Clarissa added to our supplies, how she chose the sturdiest bags, how she even remembered to pack extra socks because she knows I hate having wet feet.
Her enthusiasm is infectious despite my reservations, and I realize with a sinking feeling that she has absolutely no idea what she is getting herself into.
The Shadowlands are not some grand adventure from a story.
They are dangerous, unpredictable, and home to creatures that do not follow the rules of civilization or hierarchy.
Kaia has trained in combat, yes, but training in a castle courtyard under controlled conditions is vastly different from fighting for her life in the wilderness.
She has never slept on the ground, never gone more than a few hours without access to fresh water, and never had to hunt for her own food or defend herself against something that sees her as prey rather than a princess.
But I will protect her. I will lay down my life to keep her safe if it comes to that. She is my Omega, my love, my entire world. I would follow her into the depths of hell itself if she asked.
"Okay," I say quietly. "We will go."
Kaia's squeal of delight is almost worth the terror currently coiling in my gut. Almost.
"But on one condition," I add firmly, holding up a hand to calm her excitement.
"Anything," she says immediately. "Name it."
I reach forward, cupping her face in my hands and forcing her to meet my eyes.
I need her to understand the seriousness of what I am about to say, the absolute necessity of her cooperation if we are going to survive this foolish venture.
"You listen to me. No questions asked. When I tell you to do something, you do it immediately.
I am not just your Beta. I am also your protector, your guard, and the one person whose entire purpose is to keep you alive.
And if at some point it comes time to turn around for your safety, if I determine that continuing forward will get you killed, you will listen to me.
Do you understand? This is not negotiable. "
Kaia's expression sobers, and I see the moment she truly comprehends what she is asking of both of us. The danger. The risk. The very real possibility that one or both of us might not return from this journey. "I promise. I will listen to you. I trust you with my life, Sol."
"Good." I nod, satisfied that she at least understands the stakes. "Now, please tell me you brought pants."
Kaia grins and reaches down to pull up the skirt of her dress, revealing the trousers she is wearing underneath.
"Great. I would ask what you have planned for when we reach the edge of Valoria, but I suspect we will find out soon enough.
" I lean in for a sweet kiss, allowing myself this moment of tenderness before the madness truly begins.
Her lips are soft against mine, and I pour every ounce of love and concern and terrified devotion into the contact.
Then I pull back and climb out of the carriage, my mind already shifting into the strategic planning that will be necessary to keep my reckless princess alive.
I have barely closed the carriage door behind me when I find the king standing there, his eyebrow raised in question. My heart stutters in my chest, wondering how much he heard, whether he somehow knows what we are planning.
"I brought her a pair of shoes," I say, smoothly pulling out a lie. "She had left the castle without them. I keep a pair on me at all times for exactly this reason."
It is a believable lie. Everyone in the castle knows about Kaia's aversion to footwear. King Frederik’s expression clears, and he actually smiles, which is rare enough to be unsettling.
"You are better than any of the other guards she has had," he says with what sounds like genuine approval. "More attentive to her needs."
I manage a smile in return, though my stomach churns with the deception. "Thank you, Your Majesty."
The king's expression turns more serious as he glances toward the assembled warriors preparing to depart.
"I have a good feeling about this time. But I suspect there will be danger ahead, even more so than usual.
Other kingdoms have begun to take notice of our quest. They may try to steal the riches I am entitled to, or worse, attempt to claim the prize for themselves.
Your first and only priority will be my daughter. Do you understand?"
"Of course, Your Majesty." I bow my head, and at least this is not a lie. Kaia's safety is and will always be my primary concern.
The king leans forward, something calculating in his eyes that makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. "You will stay in your shifted form until you return with the princess." His wolf’s growl rumbles through his chest, begging my Beta to submit, but I hold fast.
I nod, not understanding why he would make such a request but knowing better than to question a direct order from the king. "Yes, Your Majesty."
His face hardens, his voice dropping into a purely Alpha tone, the one that carries the weight of command, of dominance, of absolute authority that cannot be denied. "That was an order."