Chapter 6 Kaia
Kaia
Iwake to the gentle rocking of the carriage and the muted sound of wheels on fresh dirt. For a moment, everything feels hazy and disconnected and I’m unsure how long I have been asleep or where exactly we are in our journey.
Then I reach out with my senses, searching for the familiar presence that has become as necessary to me as breathing, and find nothing.
The absence is confusing. I cannot feel Solace's emotions. The connection that usually hums between us, that lets me sense her mood and state of mind even when we are in different rooms, is simply gone. There is a void where she should be, an emptiness that makes my chest tighten with anxiety.
It is not entirely odd for Solace to close herself off when she is working.
She has always been good at compartmentalizing, at creating walls between her personal feelings and her professional duties.
When she stands guard, she becomes a fortress, impenetrable and focused solely on potential threats.
I have learned to recognize when she has shuttered herself away, and I respect her need for that mental discipline.
But this feels different. This feels wrong. As if the connection between us has been severed entirely rather than simply blocked.
I sit up slowly, pushing my hair back from my face, trying to shake off the lingering grogginess of sleep.
My body aches from the awkward position I fell asleep in, and my mouth tastes stale.
I reach for the water I packed and take a long drink, letting the cool liquid wash away some of the discomfort.
Then I pull back the curtain on the window facing forward, peering out to see where we are.
We have almost reached the edge of Valoria.
I recognize the landmarks from the maps I have studied over the years.
The trees grow denser here, their trunks wider and their branches more gnarly.
The road has narrowed to little more than a wide path, and the stone markers that denote Valoria's traditional boundary are visible in the distance.
The carriage begins to slow, the horses snorting as the driver pulls gently on the reins.
We come to a stop near a small tavern and home that sits at the very edge.
It is a sturdy building, built to withstand the elements and provide shelter to travelers brave or foolish enough to venture this far.
My father sometimes stays here before returning to the castle, using it as a staging point for the warriors' departure and a place to rest before the journey back.
It is perfect for my purposes. This building, this location, will be my cover.
The plan itself is complicated, requiring careful timing and a bit of luck, but it is workable.
I will need to find a reason to stay behind, some excuse that will allow me to remain here while my father and the rest of the procession return to the castle.
Then I will have to disappear into the Shadowlands before anyone realizes I am gone.
The thought is both exciting and terrifying because this will be my first journey and most likely my last.
I sigh and lean back against the cushions for a moment, before gathering my courage.
I can hear the clanking of metal outside, the sound of armored warriors dismounting and preparing for the final send-off.
Their emotions flood into my awareness now that I am paying attention, a chaotic swirl of anticipation and bravado and fear that they are all trying desperately to hide from each other.
I pull back the curtain on the other side of the carriage, the side facing away from the tavern, and my breath catches in my throat.
Solace is there. But she is not Solace as I know her.
She is in her wolf form, magnificent as always and slightly terrifying in that shifted version.
Her fur is deeper than midnight, so dark it seems to absorb light rather than reflect it.
But running through that darkness are stripes of the most brilliant blue, the exact color of her magic, creating patterns that shift and flow as she moves.
The effect is mesmerizing and otherworldly, the desire to stare at the version of her all day growing with eery passing second.
She comes to a stop as the carriage fully settles, then sits on her haunches with the disciplined posture of a trained guard.
Slowly, she turns her head to look at me through the window.
Her eyes are still the same luminous dark that I know so well, but seeing them in her wolf face is jarring.
There is intelligence there, awareness, the person I love looking out at me from behind those animal features.
However, now that we’ve come to a stop, I’m wondering why she hasn’t shifted back. She should have changed back by now. We are at the edge of Valoria, about to see the warriors off. There is no reason for her to remain in wolf form unless something is wrong.
I slip on the pair of shoes I brought, simple leather boots that will serve me better in the wilderness than any of my pretty slippers ever could.
Then I move to the carriage door and push it open, stepping down onto the packed earth with less grace than I would prefer.
My legs are stiff from sleep and travel, and I have to grab the door frame to steady myself.
A gentle puff of air rushes through my hair, a gentle reminder of how much taller Solace’s wolf form is than I am, her head level with my shoulders even on all fours.
"Solace, you are gorgeous," I breathe, reaching out to run my fingers through her fur. The blue stripes pulse with faint light at the contact, responding to my presence in a way that makes my magic sing in recognition.
She rumbles deep in her chest, leaning into my touch.
Then she runs her snout along my cheek in a gesture that is unmistakably loving, a soft claim that shouldn’t happen between guard and princess.
I freeze and look around, the two of us surrounded by warriors and nobles and servants.
I step back quickly, dropping my hand from her fur.
"Why are you not shifting back?" I ask, keeping my voice low. "I have a change of clothes for you. What..." I search her eyes. "Solace?"
For a moment, there’s just silence and then I hear her in my head, clear as day.
The king ordered me to stay in this form until I bring you home. I suspect he knows something.
A mindlink? We have a mindlink? That should not be possible.
Mindlinks only exist between mates or within a pack structure, bonds forged through the deepest magic.
Solace and I are lovers, devoted to each other beyond measure, but we are not official mates.
We have not gone through any ritual or ceremony.
Or have we? Is it possible that our hearts completed what our circumstances prevented us from formalizing?
As shocking as that is, Solace’s words finally sink in. My father ordered her to stay shifted. He used his Alpha command, most likely, to lock her in this form, to take away her voice and her human capabilities.
Rage floods through me.
"But that is no reason to force you to shift," I say through gritted teeth, trying to keep my voice down even as fury makes my hands shake at my side. "That is cruel and unnecessary. You have done nothing to deserve such treatment."
I will be all right, Solace's voice echoes in my mind, resignation breaking my heart. I have endured worse.
"I am going to find a way to fix this. There has to be something I can do. Some way to break it."
Even as strong as you are, you cannot break an Alpha’s command, princess. Not without being an Alpha yourself or having magic specifically designed to counter such commands.
"Then I am going to find something," I insist stubbornly. "I know it. There has to be a way. Maybe someone along the way will know. Maybe there is magic in the Shadowlands that can help. I refuse to accept that you will be trapped like this indefinitely."
Before Solace can respond, I hear footsteps approaching.
My father walks toward us with that expression of royal authority he wears like armor, his purple robes fluttering in the breeze.
"It is time for you to wave off the warriors," he states, his Alpha command rumbling through his words. It’s both disrespectful and disappointing that he would use it on me but I would expect no less.
"You should not be addressing your guard so much in public.
There is no need for you to talk to the wolf. "
The wolf. Not Solace. Not my guard. Just the wolf, as if she is nothing more than an animal.
I hide my frustration, burying it beneath the mask of the dutiful princess I have perfected over years of practice. I cannot afford to show my hand now, not when we are so close to escaping his control. I simply nod and follow him toward the edge of the walls protecting Valoria.
The warriors have gathered in a loose formation, mounted on their horses or standing beside their mounts.
They face away from the Shadowlands and away from the unknown dangers that await them, toward us, resolute expressions on their faces.
Though, their emotions betray those fierce stances.
Fear. Worry. Excitement. My father raises his hand, silence falling over the assembly.
"Brave warriors of Valoria," he begins, and I resist the urge to roll my eyes at the dramatics.
"You embark today on a quest that will test your strength, your courage, and your worthiness.
Somewhere in the darkness ahead lies a dragon, a beast of terrible power that has claimed the lives of many who came before you.
But you are different. You are the finest warriors our kingdom has to offer.
You are the ones who will succeed where others have failed. "
He pauses for effect, letting his words sink in. I am glad I never came before because all of these words are meaningless. I wonder if he says them to every warrior, every time there is a new group that ventures out into the Shadowlands.
"Whoever returns with the dragon's head will be granted my daughter's hand in marriage and the right to rule at her side. You will have wealth beyond imagining, power beyond measure, and the gratitude of an entire kingdom. Go now with my blessing, and may fortune favor the bold."
The warriors cheer, raising their weapons in salute. Then they turn their horses and begin to ride away, disappearing one by one into the dense forest that marks the beginning of the Shadowlands. I watch them go, noting the two my father pointed out earlier.
If any of them succeed, it will likely be one of those two. But I do not intend to give them the chance.
The last of the warriors vanishes into the shadows, and my father claps his hands together with satisfaction. "Time to return to the castle!"
The announcement is abrupt and rather anticlimactic.
The grand send-off complete, my father seems eager to return to the comfort and safety of his throne room.
Nobles who came to watch begin moving toward their carriages, servants rushing to prepare horses, the entire procession starting the process of turning around for the journey home.
I’m disappointed that it’s so… brief, that there’s no real thought beside watching them disappear into the darkness, knowing that most, if not all, will not return or will die shortly after.
My father gently taps my shoulder, offering me a soft smile that seems unlike him.
“It is an amazing sight the first time, the hope that comes with watching them take on this new quest. Stay for a while, watch them. Drink that feeling in and then return to the castle so that you can start training to be the perfect queen. I can feel it. That this time someone will return with my riches.”
He squeezes my shoulder and then throws Solace a knowing look before heading back to his carriage, choosing to mount the horse instead of slipping inside.
I return my attention to the edge of Valoria, watching the space where the warriors disappeared, keeping my head up for what seems like an eternity as my father’s procession heads back the other way.
And then slowly, I fall to my knees into the grass, suddenly exhausted by the performance I have been maintaining all day.
I feel Solace's presence before I see her move, the wolf nudging at my arm with her snout before settling beside me, her massive body curling around mine in a protective gesture.
What is the plan? Her voice echoes in my mind, and I can hear the mixture of apprehension and trust there.
I grin, feeling the thrill of rebellion and adventure singing in my blood. "I thought you would never ask."