CHAPTER 19 #3
“Thank you, but this is way nicer than my broken one.” She started reading the features. “This must have cost a fortune. It makes espresso too! Oh, Robert, this is too generous.”
“It was nothing,” he gestured.
They talked about the fall festival earlier that day and their daughters. But the friendly chit-chat ran its course. “Are you going to tell me what’s bothering you?” she asked.
He sighed and looked at the black, silent TV screen. She held her ground, remaining silent, letting him go into thought.
After a few minutes, he inhaled and let out a big breath. He got up from the couch, walked into the bedroom, and returned with a gray envelope. He sat back on the couch and stared at it in his hands.
“What is it?” she asked. Maybe it was a death notice of a friend. The guessing game in her head would be endless until he told her.
He looked down and handed it to her. “I can’t bring myself to open it. You do it.”
Lainey took the envelope. It was addressed to Viking. “What is this, Robert? Who gave this to you?”
He didn’t answer and shook his head like he couldn’t find the words. He looked away, not wanting to deal with it. Burden and regret exuded from him. He may have gotten teary-eyed, but he turned his face from her to hide it.
She opened it, unfolded the pages and skimmed the handwritten letter. It was a female’s handwriting. Was this from an ex-girlfriend, she wondered. Her eyes jumped to the end to see who the sender was...With my utmost gratitude, Lyla Payne.
Lainey felt the walls of the room enclose around her. She’d learned who Lyla Payne was only hours earlier from Cora and the national broadcast, which was airing this very moment. “Oh my God,” escaped her lips.
She went back to the beginning, skimming through it.
The child WAS Lyla’s fiancé’s. And she was thanking Viking for saving her and her unborn child.
Viking must have been Robert’s call sign, Lainey determined.
The letter went on to say, “I'm sure you carry survivor’s guilt, as I do. You can’t blame yourself for your spotter being killed, compromising all of us. It was out of our control,” she wrote.
Robert kept his face turned.
“You’re the only one who survived from the Unit,” Lainey said softly, closing her eyes. She hadn’t finished the letter yet or learned the full story, but knew enough to feel the agony he’d been carrying.
She leapt up from the chair and went to him. She enclosed her arms around his slouched frame. “Robert, I had no idea. I’m so sorry.”
He still kept his face turned. “Spending time with Mace today helped distract me, but then I had to say goodbye.” His voice broke. “I didn’t want to be alone and deal with this.”
“Of course not.” For the first time, she felt she was exactly where she was supposed to be.
“You have no idea how happy I was,” he swiped a tear and gazed at her, “when I looked down at my phone tonight and saw your name lighting up the screen.”
She squeezed him, placing a warm peck on his neck.
He shifted and wrapped his arm around her waist. She placed her head on his chest and heard his breathing even out as he composed himself.
“Now you know everything. Jake and Emma don’t know, neither does my family, and I’d like to keep it that way,” he said.
“Of course, I understand.” She felt honored he’d shared it with her, but felt awful he’d been suffering this entire time, alone.
“This is no comparison by any means,” she said. “But I found out my husband had a girlfriend. And Mac knew the entire time.” She thought maybe a change of subject would help take the pressure off him.
He took a deep breath. “Jake told me there were rumors.”
Lainey sat up. “What? You knew?”
“No. Not until I was complaining last week I was competing with a dead saint, and Jake told me he overheard some things.”
She started sobbing into her hands. “I’m such a fool. Everyone knew but me,” she cried at the realization.
He pulled her into his chest. “No one thinks that. Shhh.”
“I loved him, Robert. I can’t believe he did this to me,” she sobbed.
“Geoff didn’t deserve you, Lainey. He was the fool, not you.” He petted her head.
“I’m getting snot all over your shirt. I’m sorry,” she sniffled.
“It’s fine.” He nudged her. “We can be a mess together tonight.”
She lifted her gaze and looked him in the eye. “Robert, I think I’m finally done with him. I’ve mourned him long enough, and I’m exhausted by it. I’m ready to move on.”
A flame burned in his eyes. “Can I kiss you now, and both of us can forget about our past?”
“Yes,” she said softly.
Delicately, he pressed his lips against hers. Time slowed down in the best way possible, and she let herself go. Robert wanted her, needed her and cherished her. To him, no one else mattered, and she was mad at herself for not accepting his affection sooner.
He broke the kiss and caressed her cheek with the pad of his thumb. “Lain, does this mean you’ll give me a chance? A real chance?” he asked.
“Yes,” she whispered. “You’ll never make a fool of me, will you?” she asked.
“Never,” he shook his head.
She cupped his face and kissed him again.