Fire and Roses: Kruz

1. Kruz

KRUZ

I jumped out of my sleep in a panic. Body full of sweat.

My heart racing. Every sense and nerve in my body on a thousand.

I could barely catch my breath. Every moment from the night that change my life seemed to play on repeat.

I remember the bang. The burning sensation.

Feeling weak and about to pass out. The way my body thudded to the ground.

The roar of the bike. I remember it all.

Calm down it was just a dream. But why do I still hear the roaring of a bike now that I'm awake? It’s getting closer and I knew that sound from anywhere.

I got out of my bed as I heard the sound getting closer.

I quickly got my hygiene together, put some clothes on, and went down starts to wait for the unexpected guests.

I made it down in time to see Ryda and Harli pulling into my driveway on their bikes.

They parked, took off their helmets and placed them on the bikes.

They were both wearing black backpacks. Harli smiled as they approached.

I guess she just noticed I'd already been standing here. She said hi, but I moved to the side to let them both in instead. “What the fuck are you doing here, and unannounced at that?” I asked with an attitude. “We wanted to check on you and couldn’t do that since you were not answering our calls,” Harli explained.

Before I could rebut, Ryda chimed in. “Kruz, I’m sorry and take full responsibility for you getting shot.

It’s my fault for being greedy. We had already gotten what we came for,” Ryda said somberly.

I heard her and knew that she wouldn’t intentionally put me in harm’s way, but I wasn’t in a place to receive the apology.

I nodded but that was the most she was getting from me.

They both took off their backpacks and put them on my living room table.

“Here is your cut from the job. We didn’t want to give it to your dad and have him asking questions that we knew you didn’t want him to have the answer to,” Harli said.

“Thank you for that and yeah he would have had a lot of questions. Look, I love y’all and you will forever be my sisters, but I need some space.

I need to get my health back together and finish my rehab.

Since I’m not allowed to drive or ride my bike my dad insists on me staying with him so he can take care of me.

Just in case you decide to show up unannounced again”.

“Take all the time you need and if you need anything just let us know, we got you sis” replied Harli.

Ryda was nodding her head in agreement. “Yeah, okay,” I replied.

I walked them out, took the money upstairs to put in my hidden safe in my closet then finished packing some clothes because my dad would be on his way to get me soon.

Present Day

The sound of my father's voice filled my ears as I noticed we'd finally arrived at our destination. I was in a daze when I heard my father call my name

“I will be back to get you in an hour. I have some things I need to do real quick.”

“Ok dad, thanks again for the ride, and I will see you soon.”

I hugged him and got out of the car to head into the building.

As I was in the doctor’s office waiting to be called for my physical therapy appointment, I was annoyed. I didn't really want to be here but after being shot which was not on my bingo card, but it happened, I needed rehabilitation.

Since I was released from the hospital, I have not been feeling like myself. I'm usually a calmer laid back person. But now, I find that I am more of a ticking time bomb and most things set me off. It was crowded here, there must have been a lot of patients on the schedule today.

I walked to the front desk and went to Brenda, the front desk lady, who is always nice, gave her my information, paid my copay and went to sit back down. I usually try to get to my appointment early because I don't like to be late.

Since my appointment was at 2:30pm, I arrived at the office at 2:15pm.

I’ve been sitting here for a while now and noticed it was already past my appointment time.

I wanted to inquire about what was taking so long but the rude ass front desk girl was here today, and Brenda was no longer in sight.

I almost slapped the shit out of her ass at my last appointment.

This bitch got a smart-ass mouth and I was in no mood for her bull shit today.

My appointment was at 2:30 pm and it is now 3:10pm and I have not been called back as of yet.

I sent my dad a text letting him know they were running late.

I got up and went back to the front desk. As I approached, Heather, as stated on her name tag, looked up and rolled her eyes at me.

“Can you tell me how much longer it will be before I'm called back?” I asked politely.

She blew out a breath and rolled her eyes and said, “I don't know,” then went back to what she was doing.

“Well could you find out,” I responded with more bite. “Isn’t that your job? Isn’t that what they pay you to do?” I asked.

She responded, “They pay me, but you don’t pay me, so I don’t have to answer your question because I already answered you.”

That did it. I could feel the heat rising on the back of my neck.

“Oh, Imma pay you with this ass whipping your mom should have with your rude unprofessional ass”

This bitch was about five seconds away from me beating the shit out of her.

Just then, I saw a woman come from the back.

She had a name tag that said, Sheila manager.

She introduced herself to me and asked me to explain what happened.

I explained and could tell she was not happy about what I was telling her.

She apologized for her staff's behavior and let me know she would have a conversation with her.

I thanked her and was about to go back to my seat when the Medical Assistant called me back.

“Good afternoon my name is Keisha and I will be helping Janaya today. Please follow me.”

She took me to the back to check my vitals and had me fill out a questionnaire about my week from my last appointment. She took my blood pressure then set me up on the stationary bike to warm up for 5 minutes. Once that was done, my physical therapist Janaya came and asked me to follow her.

“This is your last appointment with me.” She smiled proudly. “How has your week been?” she asked.

“It was okay. I did the assigned work you gave me at home, and it helped with the stiffness.”

“That’s good to hear. Are you ready to get started?” I want you to do a set of 25 of the leg stretches we worked on last week. It's going to hurt and push you to the limit, but it's needed to get you to where you need to be.”

Sighing and blowing out a breath I said, “I'm ready.”

She was not lying, this son of a bitches hurt like shit, and I wanted to fight her ass and she knew it.

“Good job. Now let's switch it up and do another set of 25. After those I want you to do some arm raises and breathing exercise. We have to make sure you are properly moving in the wound area too. How are you mentally dealing with the aftermath of what happened?”

“Honestly, not as good as I pretend to be. I find myself angry and aggravated a lot more than I ever was. It doesn't take long for me to get riled up.”

“Have you thought about seeing a therapist?” You went through trauma and need to learn how to deal with that. One of my friends is a really good therapist and she just opened her books up to take new patients. Here is her card, just think about it.”

I don't think I need it, but I took the card anyway to be polite. She told me to lift my leg, and she began to push it back.

“Ouch what the fuck, Janaya. That shit hurts like fuck,” I whined.

“I told your ass it was going to be painful. You thought I was lying? The fuck?”

All I could do was laugh because Janaya is 2 years older than me and don't give a fuck how she talks to me. She made that clear on our very first meeting.

When I walked into her office the first time and she started questioning me, I was kind of rude and gave her short answers.

She gave me the real, “Look your ass needs me, I don't need you.

Now you can come here and waste your fucking money and time, or you can act like the bad bitch I see in you and get well.

It's your choice. Either way I'm still getting paid.”

I was shocked like a motherfucker that she was talking to me like that, but it was what I needed to get my shit together.

“Do you talk to all your patients like this?” I questioned.

“No, just stubborn young black women like me.” She laughed.

And I laughed with her and thus began our relationship.

We are going to exchange numbers once I'm not her patient anymore. She is cool people.

Boy, she worked me like a racehorse, but it was needed for me to get back to 100%.

We worked for an hour, she gave me my home assignments and told me I could drive and ride my bike again.

Smiling from ear to ear that made my day.

It was hard not being able to go for a ride.

I didn’t care much about driving. However, I did miss riding my bike and just cruising.

When I got downstairs, my dad was already in front of the building waiting for me.

“How was it?” he asked.

“It was good and I feel good too. Also, she said I can ride again so you won’t have to drive Miss Daisy anymore.”

He laughed. “You know I love driving you. It makes me feel like old times when you needed me”

“Dad, you know I will always need you and we need to stop at the gas station. I want some snacks and you need gas”

Blowing out a breath he said, “Now you know I don’t like to stop and we are almost home, you got snacks there.”

“I can wait but you still need gas.” I spoke. “Dad, we also need to go see mama and take her some fresh flowers. It’s been a while.”

“Yes, pumpkin we sure do need to go. I’m getting older and I'm ready to be with her.”

I whipped my head over to him so fast that he began to laugh.

“Not in the literal sense. I'm not trying to be under the dirt just yet,” he said while still laughing.

“Thanks for clearing that up I'm sure not ready for you to leave me.”

He got really quiet. “When I got the call that you had been shot, I was stuck. I immediately dropped down to my knees and began praying to God, asking him to save you. I didn’t know how bad it was, but I just knew I needed you to be okay.

I would not be able to walk this earth with you and your mom gone.

I’m so thankful to God for saving your life.

I’m sure your mom was also protecting you”.

I don’t like talking about that night so I changed the subject to something I knew would make him smile.

“Dad, tell me again the story of how I got my nickname,” I said, to distract him.

Just like I thought he got a big smile on his face.

“As you know, you were a fussy baby and gave me and your mom a hard time. One night, you were so fussy and your mom was so tired. I took you from her and strapped the baby carrier to my chest, put you in it and got on my Harley then cruised around our block. That seemed to do the trick, you fell right to sleep. Was it the safest thing to do? No, but we were so exhausted. Since then, we started calling you Kruz and spelled it with a K since your name is Kasey.”

It must have been destiny because I ended up loving bikes and becoming a mechanic to fix them.

My dad stopped at the gas station, and I went in to get my snacks while he pumped the gas. While I was inside, I ran into my dumb ass ex-boyfriend Shawn. He tried to speak to me, but I just walked away and he grabbed my arm.

“Nigga if you don’t get your hand off of me,” I seethed.

“Kasey, I just want to talk to you, baby I miss you so much. You won't take any of my calls or respond to my texts.”

I laughed so hard I could tell it pissed him off.

“Nigga you miss me so much that you been fucking your ex-bitch and now she pregnant. Get the fuck out of my face.”

“I do miss you and that was a mistake. I was drunk and she took advantage of me. And that’s not my baby.”

“To be honest, I don’t give a fuck. Have a nice day,” I said, as I went on my way.

Shawn and I dated for about a good two years and I thought I was in love but apparently, he was not. I thought I was someone special to him, thought I was his one and only, but nope. I had been suspicious of his friendship with his ex, but I was too trusting.

At the beginning, it wasn’t anything special. Actually, it was really just something to do. Eventually he won me over and I fell in love with him. He hurt me when he cheated with his ex.

He was starting to piss me off and I was done talking to him.

As he was about to come closer to me, my dad came in the store to see what was taking me so long.

Seeing my dad stopped him in his tracks and I was thankful.

He spoke to my dad, waved at me, mouthed, “it’s not over,” and walked back to his car.

“I never liked that boy and I’m glad you are done with him, but be careful, I don’t have a good feeling about him.”

“I know, I know. He is a non motherfuckin factor.” I glanced out the corner of my eye to see what he was going to say.

“Oh, you are not that grown up that you can just casually cuss in front of me. I still will put belt to ass.” He laughed.

It was funny because although my dad did not play, I have never gotten a spanking from him. Punished yes but that’s it.

“Are you going to the shop with me or am I dropping you off at home”? My dad asked.

“I’m going to go to the shop with you. I have some paperwork that I need to finish and some orders that I need to place. I also have to call someone to get the graffiti off the side of the building and have to review the cameras to see if we see who did it.”