18 #3
‘It’s going to be okay,’ he said to Asta. ‘They’re going to let you race, I’m sure.’ He sounded like his father.
She narrowed her eyes. ‘You’re very confident.’
Felix looked at her blankly. ‘My parents have known the Gameiros for a long time. She’ll listen to them.’
From the floor, Nat snorted. Hummer rubbed his chin with his hand, his jaw jutted forward.
Asta shook her head. ‘You know the world isn’t like that for the rest of us, right?’
‘It’s not a different world, Asta. This is how the world works. Welcome to reality.’
‘It’s your reality. Not mine.’
Felix dropped his eyes and huffed a laugh through his nose. ‘Sure. Whatever you say.’
‘Screw that.’ She was sick of all the unsaid words lurking under their conversations. ‘Whatever it is you’re thinking, just go ahead and say it.’
A Silverscale staff member came out of one of the doors further down the hall and walked through the knot of them gathered by the meeting-room door, forcing Felix to step closer to Asta to let them pass. He did not back up again when the hallway was clear. Asta couldn’t think with him that close.
He lowered his voice, though Asta was sure the others could still hear him just fine. ‘If you get out of this today, it is going to be because of my reality. You could just say thank you.’ Why did he always trot out that hoity-toity attitude whenever things got heated?
Asta clenched her fists. ‘I never asked you to do anything, Felix. “Your reality” is poisonous.’
‘Okay, guys,’ Gem said, fidgeting at Asta’s elbow. ‘Let’s just cool it.’
Felix did not seem to hear him. He gave a hard, breathy laugh, his eyes still on Asta.
‘You say you want to be in this business. Well, this is it. It’s dirty, all the way down.
’ He looked significantly at Nat, then Hummer.
He leaned in close to Asta, his voice a whisper. ‘And it’s making you dirty, too.’
‘Fuck you.’ Asta shoved his chest, and he stumbled back from her. Gem grabbed at Asta’s shoulder. Nat was on her feet in a second, ready for a fight. Hummer, too, widened his stance in a panther-like crouch. Under his hat, his eyes sparked with hungry anticipation.
But Asta could not take her eyes off Felix.
He was still hiding something, holding something back.
She couldn’t read him when he was like this.
Did he hate her? Did he pity her? One minute he was sitting in her room, crying about how misunderstood he was, the next he was accusing her of being na?ve and yet somehow also corrupt.
Why did he keep showing up if all he was going to do was play games with her? What the hell did he want from her?
Felix raised his hands. He was not going to fight. ‘Sure. Fuck me for trying to help, right? What’s new?’
‘Asshole,’ Nat muttered, and dropped her fists.
‘Honestly, though, Asta.’ Felix pointed at Nat. ‘What are you even doing with this goddamned maniac? It’s her fault this happened. Why are you letting her drag you down?’
Nat stepped forward again. ‘You wanna go, Golden Boy? Keep talking about me. See what happens.’
It felt like Asta’s head was going to explode. ‘We wouldn’t even be here if you hadn’t told on us to your little friend, Pikki.’
Felix laughed. ‘She asked a question – I told the truth. How was I supposed to know what you were going to do?’ He paced away from Asta and then came back.
‘No, you can’t blame me for this. You got yourself here.
That’s what you wanted, right? You did it all by yourself. No help needed. Why do I even try?’
Asta bit back her tears. ‘I don’t know! Why do you? Why don’t you just stop? Please! The last time you tried to help, you tore my freaking heart out, Felix. I didn’t want your help, I wanted you. Just you. And I lost you.’
Asta heard Gem make a quiet sound of surprise. She could feel Nat and Hummer’s eyes on her, but she could not look away from Felix.
His eyes brimmed with tears. ‘And this is better? Losing everything?’
Hot tears streaked down Asta’s cheeks. Defeated, she leaned her back against the wall – arms crossed over her stomach, eyes on the ground – and cried.
The door of the meeting room opened, and Flávia Gameiro stood in the doorway.
Asta wiped furiously at her tears and tried to calm her breath. Gem put his arm around her.
‘Come on in,’ Flávia said, looking warily at their faces.
Gem, Asta, and Nat sat in the front row of chairs. Hummer took the seat behind Nat. Felix loitered in the back of the room, but did not sit.
Flávia’s gaze lingered on Felix, but then she sighed and turned her eyes to Nat and Asta.
‘No one on this panel is in any doubt about the credibility of these accusations.’
Asta looked at Dr. Isley. He was glowering, but his eyes were on his notes.
Hummer was half out of his chair. ‘But you got no proof! You can’t kick her out if you got no proof!’
‘Let her finish, Hummer,’ Tess growled. ‘Damn, you’re a pesky bunch.’
Flávia continued. ‘Thank you. While it is entirely possible – even probable – that Ms. Ekenberg and Ms. Bruce violated the code of conduct for Silverscale racers by engaging in illegal street racing during the tournament, we currently, as Mr. Bruce has pointed out, have no evidence that the violation took place.’
‘That’s right,’ Hummer grunted.
Flávia ignored him. ‘For that reason, there will be no official action taken against the racers at this time.’ Nat squealed happily, and Asta gasped with relief.
‘However, the two of you are on a very short leash. As racers, you represent not only yourselves but the Silverscale legacy. As women in this sport, you carry an additional responsibility to be exemplars to the next generation, and I fear you have forgotten that. Your disregard for the reputation of this organization and this tournament will not be tolerated. For the remaining two days of this tournament, you will adhere to every rule with the strictest attention or face immediate disqualification. You will be on your best behavior both on and off the track. I had better not hear that you so much as littered in the parking lot. Do you understand me?’
‘I understand,’ Asta said.
Nat shrugged.
‘Felix,’ Flávia said, returning her gaze to him. ‘A word of advice. You have more to lose than anyone here. From this point forward, I suggest that you let your colleagues fight their own battles. Yes?’
‘Yes, ma’am,’ Felix said.
‘There is nothing further to discuss. Good luck in your races tomorrow. And remember,’ she said to Nat and Asta, ‘you will be under scrutiny, ladies. Behave accordingly.’
‘You got it, Gameiro,’ Nat said, grinning.
Flávia shook her head and began to gather her notes.
Nat grabbed Asta’s face in both her hands and planted a kiss on her mouth. ‘My lucky charm,’ she said quietly. ‘See you out there, kid.’