26. Grace
26
GRACE
Ford gently sits me down on the bed. I think it’s probably a queen size, but the rest of the room is small. In fact, I think the bed is just four or five steps from the door. I frown because the entire room is about the size of my small bedroom at home. There’s a television on the wall, the bed, and one nightstand. That’s it.
“Wow, this is kind of small,” I whisper before I can stop myself.
“Yeah, I gave the bigger one to T and Lyla. They have the baby.”
“What about Asher’s room?” I ask, knowing he gave my son a really nice room.
Ford shrugs. “I wanted him to know he belonged with us. That he was cared for.”
His words are simple, but they touch my heart. Not only did Ford make sure Asher was safe and take care of him when I couldn’t, he wanted him to feel secure and maybe even loved. I’ve never had that in my life and sadly, except for me, Asher has never had that before. I’ve been fighting my feelings for Ford hard. Mostly because I know he deserves better than me, but also because I’ve accepted that I’m not made for love. I have my son’s love and that’s enough. I’m tired of the pain.
“I should go rest in Asher’s room,” I murmur.
“Don’t move,” Ford orders, pulling off his shirt and then kicking off his boots.
“Ford, what are you doing?” I squeak as he sits on the bed and starts taking off his socks.
“I meant what I said, Grace. I’m exhausted and I know you are. We’re going to nap.”
“It’s still daylight outside,” I argue, nervous about sharing a bed with him. He’s never pushed that, went so far as to make sure I had my own bedroom in our suite the last time we were in this hotel together.
“That’s why they call it a nap, sweetheart. It can happen any time. We’ll nap until it’s time to get up and have supper. Lyla said she was making enchiladas tonight, and the only thing better than that is her chocolate chip cookies. So, we can’t miss that.”
I frown, listening to him. “I didn’t realize anyone actually used kitchens in hotel suites.”
“Nah, my girl will cook anywhere, but she’s good at it so it works out,” he brags, as he stands back up and begins unbuttoning his jeans. That’s the minute panic really hits me.
“Stop!” I cry out and he freezes his movements, then looks down at me with a wicked grin.
“You’re safe, sweetheart. I’ve got pajama pants here on my nightstand. I’m just going to put those on because they’re more comfortable. I’m not going to try anything with you— yet . I know you’ve been through hell. I just really want to sleep with you in my arms. I haven’t really allowed myself to sleep that much while I’ve been searching for you.”
“I’m surprised you bothered. I guess I still don’t understand it.”
He frowns at me, almost looking mad. Then, he rubs his forehead and lets out a heartfelt sigh. “You will understand eventually, but what you need to know right now is that I will always come for you, always protect you.”
His words sound like a promise, and it’s something that I’m not truly ready to deal with. So, I just do what any sane woman would do. I change the subject. “You don’t seem the type to wear pajamas.”
He gives me a sexy smirk, shaking his head. “I’m not, but I’ve been the adult in charge of Asher. He’s also been worried about his mom and needed reassurance at night. So, it seemed the best option.”
Again, my heart squeezes with his words. He really has been putting my son first. That’s something no one but me has ever done for him. Ford turns around, giving me his back. Then he pulls off his pants and my heart runs away with me.
“Ford!” I cry when I see his bare ass right in front of me. I mean, it’s beautiful, but I’m already tempted. I can’t handle this right now. I bury my head into a pillow, refusing to watch anymore. “You can’t undress in front of me!” I add, the words muffled because I refuse to move my face away from the pillow. I can’t. The temptation is just too strong. Ford’s laughter echoes around me and I now try to ignore how hot his laugh makes me.
“Baby, you can look now,” he chuckles.
“No, no, I can’t,” I deny instantly.
“I’m warning you, Grace. If you don’t stop being so cute, I won’t be able to keep my hands off you.”
“I … you …”
“Exactly,” he purrs. “ Us. ”
I look up at him finally, gripping the pillow tight in my hands. “I don’t understand what is going on. You risk your life to come and find me. You risked it again by making sure Benny would never come after Asher again?—”
“ You or Asher, sweetheart.”
I nod at his words, swallowing down the emotion that I’m not ready to deal with. “Ford, you realize that before I was taken, I had decided to never see you again.”
I thought that would piss him off. I was actually kind of hoping it would. That way he’d leave, or kick me out, instead of insisting we share a bed. Instead of being mad, he shakes his head and gives me a sexy grin.
“You realize that if you’d tried that shit, I would have handcuffed you to my side until you caved.”
“I don’t understand you. We don’t know each other that well, yet you risked your life for me and my son … Honest to God, I don’t know what to do with you.”
“That’s easy, Grace. All you have to do is give me a chance. That’s all I want. Just let me prove to you how happy we can be together.”
“Ford, I’m cursed. My grandmother said it all the time, and she was right. Look at this latest debacle with Benny. That’s all the evidence you need to know I’m telling the truth. You could have gotten killed today and if you had …”
I can’t finish my sentence. The thought of this beautiful, selfless man dying because of me is soul destroying. I don’t think I could survive the mixture of guilt and grief.
“I didn’t.”
“You could have. How do you think that’d make me feel? I care for you. It would kill me to know I was responsible for something happening to you.”
He keeps staring at me and I feel like he might finally be understanding what I’m saying. Then, his lips spread into a big smile. There’s nothing here to be happy about. Maybe the man is insane.
“You care for me?”
“Seriously? That’s all you got out of everything I just said?”
“I think that’s really big. Now come here and let your man hug you up. We both need sleep, and I desperately need you in my arms so I can reassure myself that I got to you in time and you’re okay.” I automatically start to argue, but he shakes his head. “Please, Grace. Give me this.”
There’s something raw and needy in his words. I just don’t have it in me to argue. Especially since I want to be in his arms right now. “Okay,” I whisper. Ford smiles at me, a smile that lights up his eyes. Once he gets in bed, I lay my head on his chest and his arm wraps around me, hugging me close. “What happened with Benny?” I ask once we’re settled and the quiet echoes in the room.
“It's over. That’s all you need to concern yourself with. I’ve made sure he’ll never come back into our lives. The entire nightmare is over for you and Asher. I’ll also be talking with the Korslovas when I get back to Virginia.”
“What exactly do you mean you made sure he’ll never come back?”
“Exactly what it sounds like.”
“Ford …” He puts a finger under my chin and lifts my head so I’m looking into his eyes. I can’t lie. I’m scared. Heck, my heart is running away with me.
“Grace, you probably don’t know a lot about clubs and the lives we lead, but I have some firm rules. No one hurts innocent women and kids. No one touches anyone my club has claimed. In your case, sweetheart, I’ve claimed you. You and Asher are mine . I love that kid and you’re probably not ready to hear it, but I’m more than half-way in love with you. All I want in this life is you by my side and in my bed. I equally want Asher in my life. I want to be the man who steps up and helps him grow into the amazing man he’s destined to be.”
I let out a huff of breath, shaking my head. “That’s it, huh?”
“Well, not exactly. I’m older than you, I know, but I’m in good health. I’d really love to have more kids with you.”
If I wasn’t lying down, I would have fallen, because my legs definitely just turned into rubber. My eyes feel like they might pop out of my head. “You want us to have kids?” I gasp.
“I can see you don’t get it yet. I want everything with you, Grace.”
“You’re insane.”
“I’ve been called worse,” he laughs, his fingers stroking against my hair.
I sigh. “Can I please ask you to not call the Korslovas? Leave them alone. Don’t do anything to get you on their radar.”
“Sweetheart, you have a lot to learn about your man.”
“Uh, I don’t have a man,” I deny at once, listening to his heart beating in my ear.
Ford laughs softly. “Oh yeah, baby, you do.”
“Ford, I really like you.”
“I’ll take that for now,” he murmurs.
“I’m trying to be serious here. I honestly don’t think I’m strong enough to survive a relationship with you. I mean, listen to how you calmly talk about fixing things so Benny will never bother me again.”
“I did that.”
I exhale in exasperation. “That’s not normal. Surely you know that.”
“It is in my world.”
“Fine, well, that’s why I’m saying no. I’m not strong enough for your world.”
He lets out a quiet chuckle, and this time his fingers are making imaginary circles on my shoulder. It feels so damn good I have to fight to keep my eyes open— and my guard up . “That’s the most hilarious thing I’ve heard all day.”
“I’m not trying to be funny,” I grumble.
“Sweetheart, you’re the strongest woman I’ve ever met in my life.”
“Please stop lying to me and trying to make me feel better. It’s not going to work.”
“I’m not lying. Grace, you say you’re weak, but look at what you survived in your past. Hell, just today you knew they were planning on raping you and probably killing you. You can’t deny that. Yet, you still stood up to them. Fuck, you gave Martelli’s henchman hell. You are the most battle tested woman I’ve met. You may have started soft, and I hate you lost that softness, but the fact is you came out of hell and survived. You’re forged like steel. You have a fire inside you that burns so fucking bright that it is beautiful. I just want to be part of that.” His words are getting to me, and I don’t know how to stop it. He puts a finger under my chin and gently forces me to raise my head so that I can look at him. Then, almost lovingly, presses his forehead against mine. “It doesn’t have to make sense to you, sweetheart. Just know that I’ve waited my whole life for a love like the kind I’ve seen others share. Not once have I even felt anything close to that. I took one look at you and knew without a shadow of a doubt that you are exactly what I’ve been waiting for.”
“How can you say that? You don’t even know me.”
“I think I do. I know all of this is scaring you. I’m not asking for promises. I just want you to take a breath and give me a chance. Let me prove to you I could be the man that you need. The man that you and Asher need.”
I swallow, almost afraid to breathe. “You’re forgetting that you live in Virginia and I’m in North Carolina.”
“I haven’t forgotten that at all. I want you and Asher to come out to Virginia a bit. Test the waters, I guess you could say.”
“Ford, I can’t just uproot my life. Asher has school, friends, and I have a job. I?—”
Before I can finish listing the myriad of reasons this won’t work, he presses his lips to mine, ending my tirade. It’s a sweet kiss, his tongue just barely skimming against mine. Still, it’s one of the best kisses I’ve had. When he’s done, he pulls back and smiles at me.
“You don’t have to decide tonight. Just think about it. That’s all. I’m here in bed with you. I’m telling you I love you and I want to be in your life. If you can look in your heart and say you have zero feelings for me, I’ll leave you alone. It would probably destroy me, but I’d still do it. I really need you to think hard on it, though. Because I wasn’t lying to you, Grace. I truly believe you are where I belong. I think we’re perfect for one another.”
“Ford …” I breathe, trying not to cry. How can he say this to me? Surely, he should be able to tell that he deserves much better than me.
“Just think about it, Grace. Please?”
“Okay …”
The joy that blooms over his face can’t be mistaken. As I see it, another part of the wall I surround myself with crumbles. This time when Ford kisses me, I open for him immediately. His tongue tangles and dances with mine. His hand slides against the column of my neck while his thumb brushes back and forth on my cheek. I whimper under the force of his lips, my body moving against his as desire begins to take over, but he pulls back, breaking our connection. He gently kisses my forehead. “I’m not going to rush any of this. I want to savor it. We’ll go as fast or as slow as you want to go. There will be no pressure from me. You’ve had a hell of a few days. You’re safe and in my arms. I want you to get some rest tonight, okay?”
“Okay,” I murmur, thoroughly confused. “Wait, what about Asher?”
“Stop worrying. Lyla loves kids. He’ll be fine for a couple of hours. Now, let’s sleep gorgeous.”
“Okay,” I repeat, because I do feel exhausted.
I snuggle down into him, closing my eyes. After about twenty minutes, I notice that Ford’s breathing has evened out. I think about getting up and going to Asher’s room to sleep. The only problem is I don’t really want to leave. I let my lips caress Ford’s chest, smiling at the taste of his skin on the tip of my tongue. This man has done so much for me and my son. I’ve never known anyone like him.
“Thank you for what you’ve done for me and Asher. You deserve so much more than me. I can’t do that to you, but it’s hard because I think I already love you.” I let out a sigh and snuggle closer to him, letting myself relax and sleep claim me.