Chapter Eight #3
“Anytime.” Fallon began tidying their lunch remains as Nora’s temper simmered.
“See ya, Nora,” Kennedy called over her shoulder.
She managed a wave before turning back to Fallon. “What was that all about?”
“Oh, some personal stuff Kenn wanted to talk about. You’ll hear more about it tonight.” Fallon started her saw before Nora could say another word which, she decided, was probably just as well.
That night, when Kennedy stood and cleared her throat after dinner, Nora watched with interest. “I know this is our last night before break, but I wanted to add something to our usual conversation.” Kenn shuffled her feet.
“I’ve been thinking about this for a while, and I’d like to start using different pronouns. ”
Gwen looked up from her plate. “Oh no. Not some they-them bullshit.”
Fallon rose and walked over to where Gwen sat. Even while towering over her, Fallon kept her voice calm. “Everyone is allowed their own opinion. But here, we also respect what someone is saying enough to not be rude. Can you handle that?”
Gwen tossed her head as if to say she didn’t care either way, but she returned to eating without further comment.
Fallon turned back to Kenn. “Go ahead,” and Hannah gestured encouragingly.
Kennedy took a couple of deep breaths. “In the book that Fallon loaned me, there was a character I totally identified with. They didn’t say they were non-binary, but when we first talked about the story, Fallon used that term.
I called one of the toll-free support groups last night and…
yeah. It fits me like nothing else ever has.
” She kept her eyes down. “So I do want to start going by ‘they’ and ‘them.’”
Delores got up and hugged Kenn, murmuring, “I know that took a lot of courage on your part. And if you’ll be patient with us if we screw up, we’re all in.” She turned to look at the rest of the crew. “Right?”
Nora clapped along with them, a little ashamed for her resentment toward Kennedy.
Gwen made a face as she passed on her way to her tent.
Tina smiled, as usual, and Nora nodded at them both.
Fallon’s assessment of them as being dangerous to hang out with was undoubtedly a bit extreme.
Denver was a big city, and Nora could find her own entertainment away from them if necessary.
It seemed like every time she tried to reset her distance from the group, she got pulled in by some emotional scene, like with Kenn.
She needed to return to the detachment she’d had at the start of Firecamp.
“Big day tomorrow, crew. I’ll finish up here.” Jade’s voice broke through her musings.
Everyone took the hint, gathering last-minute items and calling good night as they headed to their tents.
Nora had suppressed the fluttery feelings that had materialized throughout the day at the thought of sleeping with Fallon again, but they reemerged full force as they made their way over.
“You go ahead in,” she told Fallon. “Get things how you want them. I’ll make sure Jade doesn’t need any help. ”
She had every intention of doing that, but Fallon stopped her. “Look up.”
Nora did, gasping as her vision swam at the incredible array of stars. She hadn’t thought about the lack of light pollution in their forest habitat.
They stood silently, awestruck by the vastness. “I’m going to start learning the constellations next week,” Fallon said, her voice low. “Reva said she’d work with me. Do you know any?”
“Some,” Nora admitted, fighting against the memory of sitting on her father’s lap as a toddler, trying hard to envision the images he’d named as he pointed.
“That’s the Big Dipper. If you make an imaginary line from the last two stars in the cup, it’ll lead you to Polaris, the North Star.
It’s the first star in the handle of the Little Dipper.
” She indicated the path, and Fallon stepped closer, trying to follow. “Do you see it?”
“I’m not sure.” Fallon sounded doubtful.
“If you’re going to learn constellations, this is the place to start.” She drew the imaginary line again. “You know why Polaris is so important, right?”
“It can be used for navigation because it never changes location.” Fallon sighed. “That’s what I want. Something steady I can count on. A North Star life.”
Nora looked over, realizing how close they were.
An almost magnetic pull lured her gaze to Fallon’s lips.
What would it be like to kiss her? Would they start out soft and sweet and work their way to deep and passionate?
She spoke before thinking better of it, shifting to meet Fallon’s eyes. “Something steady? Not someone?”
Those beautiful eyes were liquid. “It’s easier to trust a place.
Even the stars that move are more reliable than most people.
” Fallon took in a shaky breath as she looked toward the kitchen.
Nora saw the light was out there as well.
Jade was finished. Everyone else had gone to bed.
Stepping nearer her tent, Fallon asked, “Maybe you could show me again tomorrow night?”
Nora wasn’t sure if she was being invited or rejected. “I might not be here tomorrow night.”
“But the stars will be.” Fallon gave a humorless chuckle. “Thanks for making my point.”
She wasn’t nearly as cold as she had been last night, but Nora waited until she was borderline uncomfortable to make her way into the vestibule. She found the thermal underwear from last night hanging on the line and changed quickly. “Knock, knock.”
“Come on in.”
Nora crawled forward, fastening the Velcro flap before sliding in beside Fallon.
“Do you need to warm up like last night?”
“I think I’ll be okay if you’ll let me use those socks again.”
Fallon lay on her back. “They’re under your pillow.”
Nora slipped on the cozy wool before lying beside her, unable to avoid having their shoulders touch. “Thanks again for—”
“Don’t mention it,” Fallon cut her off, turning away. “Sleep well.”
Nora didn’t think she would, until she woke up curled around Fallon’s body with her head on Fallon’s shoulder. The sky was getting lighter, and a few sounds were coming from the camp. She pulled away, putting her hand where her head had been and giving a careful shake. “Fallon. It’s morning.”
Fallon mumbled something unintelligible and stretched like a long, lazy cat.
Then Jade’s voice carried into the tent. “Where’s my cook?”
Fallon was up and into the vestibule, dressing almost before Nora could blink.
By the time she gathered her things, Fallon was frying bacon, and she could hear teasing remarks about them oversleeping again.
Ranger Upshaw stood in the center of the breakfast activity, and when she looked around the camp, Nora could see that everyone else had broken down their tents, and most of the gear was stacked in the trailer.
“Nora,” Jade called. “Come take over breakfast so Fallon can pack.”
Everyone was too excited about their week off to be upset about the slightly burned toast and undercooked bacon, and within a half hour, all traces of their temporary home were gone.
Nora chose to ride with Upshaw, needing to think about how she’d awakened that morning but not wanting to be anywhere near Fallon while she did.
What would it be like between them if she did stay around and help with the incoming sawyers?
Teaming up to school the noobs might be enjoyable, but while Firecamp wasn’t technically firefighting, it was firefighting adjacent, putting her right back into the life she wanted to escape.
She closed her eyes against the vision of her father snapping commands at her and at the memory of his contempt when he deemed her efforts inadequate.
But Fallon wasn’t like that, and neither was Firecamp. What did she want?
The parking area at base camp held several extra vehicles, and Nora heard Hannah’s laugh as she ran to the family car.
Delores’s mother was talking excitedly in Spanish as she hugged her daughter.
Upshaw had reminded them of their last duty—unloading the gear—which was done more quickly than seemed humanly possible.
They were also to take anything that needed repair to the equipment hut.
Nora got the ribbing she’d expected from Hal when she delivered her ruined tent, but he let her off fairly easy, assuming she was ready to head out.
As she left the hut, Kennedy was throwing their arms around Fallon’s neck.
Fallon bent slightly, and they touched foreheads.
Then Kennedy lifted their face and touched their lips to Fallon’s.
Struck by a sharp, unexpected pain, Nora turned away, seeing Tina and Gwen hurriedly putting their things into Gwen’s car.
“You coming or what?” Gwen yelled.
Suddenly, this was the last place she wanted to be. “Yeah, I am.”