8. Tessa
8
Tessa
“ S ee you next time, Mrs. McAllister,” I say. She waves as she exits the store.
I walk back to the office and pick up my phone. I’ve been trying to figure out what book to post next for the longest time, but I can’t concentrate. I haven’t been able to focus all week and I might as well be at home for all the help I’ve been here.
Working here in high school was one thing, but Dad’s had me managing the store since I graduated in May. I practically grew up here and my dad’s been giving out tips and advice on running a business since I learned to walk. He’s a great teacher and shares everything he knows because the store means so much to him. I just wish I could care about it the way he does. I’ve tried so hard all my life to change my perspective, be grateful for what my parents are giving me, but this isn’t my dream.
I’ve been in this weird state of limbo since I came home. Working here means having one foot in full-time adulthood and one in an eternal summer. I’m straddling the line between responsibility and freedom. A business degree from the University of Georgia is great if you know what you’re going to do, but I have no idea where my path leads. Because of that, it’s not as much of an accomplishment as I wanted it to be. Running the family business isn’t my dream, but when my parents suggested majoring in something that would help me take over The General Store, I didn’t have a better plan. And other than getting out of Pelahatchie, I still don’t.
I’ve kicked around the idea of being a writer, but I love to read stories more than I like to create my own. My head feels so full all the time and the only way I can make room is to jump into another book. All the noise stops when I’m reading and it helps keep my mind off having to tell my parents my big secret. I want to work in publishing one day and market the types of books I like to read. The excitement of doing something I love, even if it’s just copy-editing for now, is enough to keep me up at night. But if I told my parents what I actually wanted to do, they’d find a way to keep me here forever.
In college, I created an Instagram account to review and recommend books in the hopes that it would get me noticed by a publishing company one day. It took off my senior year and I have a huge following, but trying to explain that to Mama and Daddy is like speaking a different language. Somehow the conversation always comes back to what they’ve decided for me. I can have all the “hobbies” I want as long as my life revolves around the store.
My parents are wonderful people, they just don’t hear me.
Pelahatchie’s General Store has been in our family for three generations and it would break my dad’s heart if I decided I didn’t want it. Anyone born in the South is imbued with a healthy sense of tradition and no one believes in tradition more than my father. When I tell him I want to be something other than a fourth-generation business owner, he’s going to take it personally. There has to be a way to tell him where he doesn’t feel like he’s losing his life’s work…and his daughter.
I know how hard it’s going to be to tell my parents, so I have to have a plan in place before I do it. And the plan needs to include making money so they can’t guilt me into staying. They’d be perfectly willing to take care of me for the rest of my life. I’m just not willing to let them. I’ve been pampered, given everything, and though I’m grateful for it, I want to struggle. I want to work at it. How else is my life supposed to have any meaning?
But to live out my dream is to turn down my parents’. I haven’t been able to take a full breath since graduation because I know I’m going to be disappointing someone either way. It’s partly because I’m an only child and I get it, my parents want to protect me and keep me close. But nothing ever happens in this town and I’m missing out on so much.
I told myself I’d try business school for six months before I changed my major to English lit. But the fear of failure and disappointing my family turned into four years and a framed degree. I was no closer then to telling my parents I didn’t want their legacy than I am now. Graduation was supposed to be the start of my real life and instead it was a bit of a letdown.
I was supposed to come home from school with everything figured out; where I would work, where I would live, ready for this new career I wanted to pursue. Instead, I’m the same old Tessa, except now I’ve got the extra baggage of a degree and no plan. I’m stuck trying to keep a huge secret and make everything happen before anyone finds out about my betrayal.
Living with my parents, being in my childhood bedroom, isn’t helping. I’ve applied to every job that has anything to do with books, marketing or publishing from here to New York. Short of going back to school, I’d do anything. I even applied for a job as a librarian two towns over, but they sent back a polite response. Over-qualified.
I’ve given myself until the end of summer to get my shit together.
A knock sounds on the office door and I look up to see Beau standing in the doorway. His hat is turned backwardsand all his gorgeous blonde hair is sticking out the back. My kryptonite. When he smiles, the blue of his eyes is so striking I have to remind myself to look annoyed.
I lean back in the chair and cross my arms over my chest. “What are you doing here?”
“You wanna go somewhere?”
“I’m working.” I gesture at the walls of the office.
“Yeah, for another ten minutes.”
“I have plans after I close up. Sorry.” I get up from the desk and try to walk past him, but he blocks me with his body. His very imposing body. When I bump into his muscled chest, I shoot him a miffed look and step back, but he presses in closer. He leans down, towering over me, and I have to force myself to stay still.
“I’m asking really nicely. Doesn’t that count for something?” he asks quietly and the pleading tone of his voice tugs behind my belly button.
This close, he smells like something fresh and light. Rosemary maybe? My gaze slides over him. From the delicate gold chain hiding under his collar and the navy shirt that’s just a little too tight across his chest. Everything, all the way down his dark jeans to the worn boots on his feet, looks like a dream. I mean, not my dream. But someone’s.
“Are you wearing cologne?” I ask. I mean to hurl it like an insult, like it’s silly he’d wear it for me, but my voice comes out breathy and too low.
“I said I was goin’ somewhere, didn’t I? I thought maybe I could entice you to come with.” His eyes darken as he hovers over me.
I clear my throat and step away, turning to find something interesting on the desk. I can feel his grin from here.
“I told you, I have plans.”
“Tess, you haven’t had plans since you came back into town.” Ouch. He’s right of course. I may have been busy ignoring him, but it looks like he hasn’t been ignoring me.
“Shut up.” I glare.
He crosses the small room, caging me in by the corner of the desk. I look down at his hands on either side of me. Why does he have to stand so close?
“How about you be agreeable just this once?”
I pause. “You haven’t said where you’re going.”
His grin widens and I get a glimpse of straight, white teeth as he bites down on his bottom lip. “The Stampede.”
The Stampede Saloon is a bar a few towns over. They specialize in live music, line dancing, and bar fights, but it’s a little rougher than I’m used to. It’s a place you’d want to go if you’re looking to get into some trouble. And Beau’s the quintessential Southern boy so he’s always looking for trouble.
When I hesitate, he cocks his blonde head, the challenge clear in his eyes. I can’t deny there’s a little thrill at the possibility of danger. I never used to be like this. I was sweet, little Tessa Jennings who never put one toe out of line, but ever since coming home, things have been different. I’ve been flirting with danger. Not real danger, of course, but I find myself doing things that make my heart race just enough to mitigate the boredom. Things like driving too fast down back roads or swimming naked where anyone could catch me.
Damn. I can’t back down now. “Sure,” I say smiling, my heart starting to race in that familiar way. “On one condition.”
“What’s that?” He leans further into my space.
“No touching.”
He draws up short, a confused crease forming between his brows. “What?”
“You heard me.” I glance down pointedly at his knuckles, almost brushing the outside of my thighs. He follows my gaze, but doesn’t move. “I’ll go if you agree to no touching. It’s not a date, so there shouldn’t be any reason we need to.”
He purses his lips, thinking it over. “Fine. But I’ll bet I have you begging me to touch you before the night is over.”
“I don’t beg,” I whisper as I lean in, only inches from his lips.
I push off the desk and he stumbles backwards, but I hear him chuckle as he follows me out of the office.
The other employees have everything handled, so there isn’t much to do besides tidying up the register area at the center of the store. Beau hangs around chatting with the last customers while I lock up. When I shut the door behind the last person, he’s waiting right behind me with his arms crossed.
“I have to go home and change,” I tell him.
“Okay, I’ll pick you up in half an hour.”
“Oh no. This isn’t a date and I’m not explaining to my mother why you’re picking me up. I’ll meet you there.”
“No can do. You can’t walk into The Stampede alone.”
“Beau, it’s not that bad. I’ll be fine.”
“Nope.” He walks to the back of the store where my car is parked and I follow. “Meet me back here and we’ll go together.”
I wonder if he takes charge like that in bed. The thought comes out of nowhere with such force that it’s an effort to keep my feet moving. Where the hell did that come from? Normally, when he tries to command me, it makes my blood boil, but I already agreed to go and I am intrigued. I’ve never been to The Stampede before.