10. Shep
10
Shep
T he party is in full swing when I spot Tessa. I didn’t want a party at all. My mom makes everything a spectacle and I hate the attention. One of the main reasons I love living in Houston is being able to live simply. I don’t have to talk to my neighbors, other than my teammates. I can keep things private. Just the way I like it.
People don’t know me in Houston. Even being on the minor league circuit, I don’t have people constantly telling me how they know my grandpa like I have to put up with here. I love not being recognized. If I ever do eventually make it to the majors, the loss of privacy is going to be the hardest thing to cope with.
I wasn’t lying when I told Tessa coming home makes me feel like I’m ten years old. I feel my muscles tighten and my shoulders inch closer to my ears the longer I’m here. But telling my mom not to have a party is like telling spring not to come. So I’m grinning and bearing it and making nice with all the people Mom has pushed my way. Beau’s been a big help, making everyone laugh and getting me out of talking to one person for too long. But now that she’s here, I have a feeling he’s not going to take his wingman duties so seriously.
When Tessa walks in, I’m hit again with how insanely hot she’s gotten. I definitely regret telling Beau I wouldn’t make a move. She’s tempting and I don’t even think she knows it. She turns to hug someone when I glance her way and my eyes are met with a whole lot of lower back. The shirt she’s wearing is missing half the back, it ties at the base of her spine. The image of her wet and naked at the pond comes back, as it has all week. I’d love to get my hands on her.
I feel slightly sick for thinking these thoughts. Tessa’s never really been innocent, but there’s something about her you don’t want to ruin. Like it would be a shame to spoil her goodness. She’s not a girl to waste a one-night-stand on, this one is endgame. She’s meant to be someone’s wife. Tessa Jennings has mastered the girl-next-door vibe, but even so, I bet it’d be one hell of a ride. Too bad she’s been off limits since puberty. Beau’s had his eye on her his whole life and when he talks about her, I’ve rarely heard him speak of anyone with as much reverence. I may be late to the game, but I get the appeal.
She comes over with her parents to hug me next and my fingertips brush her back where her shirt gapes. I’m met with kissably warm skin and I stop myself from gripping her tighter. Her parents go off in search of mine, leaving us alone in the kitchen.
I let out a sigh, letting my face relax for the first time tonight.
“That bad, huh?” she asks, squeezing my arm as she moves to make a drink.
I nod at my cup. “This has been straight whiskey for the last fifteen minutes.”
“At least let me catch up first.”
She pours from the alcohol and mixers on the counter to make herself a margarita and I watch. I swear she didn’t look like that when she went off to college. Our five-year age gap has never bothered me, but if I’d even imagined something with her, Beau would never speak to me again. Despite lusting after her, I love my brother enough not to try.
She hands me a margarita and I tip my head in thanks. “Ready?” she asks, hooking her arm with mine.
“As I’ll ever be.”
Most everyone is outside so that’s where we go. She pulls me away from the crowd to the firepit in the yard and we sit in the chairs surrounding it.
“Thanks, I needed a breather.”
“You play in front of thousands and this scares you?”
“Hundreds,” I correct.
“One day you’ll play for thousands and this scares you?”
I chuckle. “You weren’t here when everyone was grilling me on who I’m dating and when I’m coming home next.”
“Ouch.”
My lips twist sarcastically. “Gotta love small towns.”
Tessa gets it and I rarely find someone who feels the same. I think living in Pelahatchie weighs as heavily on her as it does me. We’ve always been able to commiserate and I like that I’m not alone in my cynicism. An amused glance, an eye-roll behind someone’s back, our relationship has always existed in these little gestures. I like that she wants something more than this town can give her.
“But who are you dating?” she asks with mock innocence.
Peyton comes over to sit with us. She flings herself into an Adirondack chair and says, “Oh no, Tessa. Not you too. I can’t listen to one more person ask him the same thing. I’ll puke.”
“It was worth a shot. So mysterious,” Tessa teases me.
I raise my eyebrows at her and take a sip of my drink. “Not really. More like not interested.”
“There’s no one interesting in Houston?” At both expressions of irritation, she raises her hands in surrender. “Okay. Point taken.”
“I’m more concerned with when you’re going to invite us down for a game,” Peyton says. “I need a vacation.”
“From what?” I ask. “You sit on your ass all day.”
Peyton’s one of those girls who seems fit, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. She wouldn’t touch sports equipment if her life depended on it. She has an accounting degree from UGA. She and Tessa went together because they couldn’t bear to be parted, but she works for our parents running the books. It’s a pretty cushy job and we tease her about it every chance we get.
Peyton gives me a sweet smile, ignoring my comment. “Tessa hasn’t seen you play in forever.”
“You’re right. Now that I think about it, I don’t remember when the last time was,” Tessa says to me.
“High school,” I murmur.
“Is that when it was?”
“Yeah, your senior year. It was my first year with the Yellowjackets and you came down for the showcase.”
“Wow. You have some memory.” It’s easy to remember when she’s the subject.
We share a small smile and I see it when she notices him. I follow her eyes and Beau’s staring into her just as hard. He’s talking to someone with their back to us, but I can see his intensity from here.
It’s none of my business, but I can’t help myself. Something prods me to ask, “What’s the story there?”
“Huh?” Peyton says, but neither of us answers.
I incline my head in Beau’s direction, giving Tessa a pointed look. “Subtle.”
When she shakes her head, Peyton says, louder this time, “What?”
“Maybe I should be asking you who you’re dating.”
“Not funny.” Tessa’s eyes narrow. “I really don’t know what’s going on.”
“You like Beau,” I tell her.
“What!” Peyton is incredulous and leans forward in her chair. “You what?”
“No, I don’t. Be real, Shep.” She acts completely unbothered and almost gets away with it, but I notice the way her eyes soften. Pleading for me not to out her.
I watch and she glances up at him again before tearing her gaze away. I whistle at that little interaction, hurting inside and utterly confused as to why.
I turn to Pey, envy clawing it’s way up my throat. “Did she tell you I caught them kissing?”
Tessa glares but says nothing and Peyton shoots out of her chair. “There’s no possible way.”
Tessa jerks her by the arm to make her sit down. “Shh, I don’t need everyone to know. And when did you become such a tattletale?”
The mixture of hurt, anger, and disbelief on her face has regret slamming into me like a truck. I didn’t mean to lash out, but my feelings are all over the place. Being out of the game in the middle of the season is fucking me up. There was no reason to stay in Houston, but maybe coming home wasn’t the best idea.
Beau’s moved through three people since we sat down, but he keeps getting detained. It’s killing him. His eyes are trained on her every move as he laughs in conversation. I should help him, but I’m not ready to stop talking to her and I only have tonight. Figures. It’s been a long time since I’ve been interested in a girl and this one is taken.
“I’m sorry,” I say. “I shouldn’t have said it.” Neither of us is sure how to move past this hiccough.
“I’m going to ignore the fact that neither of you thought this was news, but Tessa…what the fuck?”
The girls exchange a look, Tessa sorry and Peyton confused. I’m sure she has a thousand questions, she always does.
“What do you want to know?” Tessa asks quietly.
“What happened, for starters? Where did this come from? Who kissed who?” It all comes out in a rush and Peyton crosses her arms like she’s owed an explanation.
Tessa explains how Beau found her at the pond and what transpired after while my sister stares slack-jawed.
“Why did you let him kiss you?” I ask after she’s finished.
Shit. I told myself I was going to keep quiet. I was going to let her tell the story, but the words come out before I can stop them.
“I don’t know.” Tessa tilts her head and pins me with a wicked smirk. “Maybe I wanted to see what all the fuss was about.” She knows exactly which words will hurt the most.
The thought of satisfying her curiosity instead of Beau does something to me. How I’d like to be the one to test her limits. She feels innocent, but what if there’s more under her good girl demeanor? What about that fire she’s always turning on Beau? Just because Mom pushes the idea of Beau and Tessa together, who’s to say we aren’t the better fit? Why couldn’t she be mine?
I choose my next words carefully, to diminish whatever it is she’s feeling for him. “You could’ve asked any number of girls you went to high school with.”
Her eyes flash across the firepit. “Don’t be a dick, Shep.”
“Why are you acting like he’s dated a ton of girls? You know that’s not true.” Peyton’s look is accusatory and I shrug it off. They go back to ignoring me.
“So what does this mean? Where do you go from here?” Peyton nods in Beau’s direction.
Tessa sighs, her shoulders drooping. “Ask me anything else, but not that.” Her huff has a desperate sound. “I don’t know what I’m doing for the next five minutes. There’s no way I can tell you where Beau and I are going.” She makes an odd face and Peyton’s softens in response, something I don’t understand passes between them.
“What’s wrong?” I ask. Her whole demeanor has changed. She’s covering something up.
“Nothing. You know how it is being home.”
I eye her suspiciously. “Yeah. Are you sure?” Her eyes are weighted, but I know a thing or two about hiding things.
My little brother chooses this exact moment to sit in the chair next to Tessa. She changes before my very eyes, shrugging off the anxiety of a few seconds ago. She bottles up whatever she was about to say and darts a glance my way. She gives the barest shake of her head before she rolls her eyes over to him.
“It’s so good of you to join us. We were just talking about you.” Peyton says sarcastically, but he doesn’t look at her. He only has eyes for Tessa.
“Hey, Firecracker.” Beau grins widely and she blushes.
Firecracker? What the fuck? They’re doing nicknames now? I’m powerless to stop the anger that’s building in my veins. I’m angry that all of a sudden I want her and he has her. I’m angry there’s nothing I can do about it because I’m going back to Houston in the morning. It’s inconvenient and unfair and downright childish to be jealous when I've never even touched her. But God, do I want to. I want to ruin that little smile they shared.
But I don’t. I’m not that guy.
I hear the three of them talking, but I can’t make out the words through the rushing in my ears. I need a minute to get myself under control. “I’m gonna go make my rounds,” I say, walking away before they can stop me.